Sexamples #002: Adventures in Domination

“Leave the room, close the door, wait a minute, and then come back in.”

He scrunched up his eyebrows and looked at me funny. “What?” he said, laughing a little.

“You heard me, bitch,” I asserted. “Go out in the hall, shut the door, wait a bit, and then come back in.”

He wanted me to dominate him; I had been aware of this fact for several weeks but hadn’t yet acted on it, partially because I was afraid I wouldn’t know how to be a domme. But tonight was the night. Only, now, I had to get him to leave the room and come back in, to sort of “refresh” our dynamic – start over without the context of boyfriend/girlfriend looming over our heads.

Finally, he left. I rushed around the room fluffing pillows and taking off my top. I waited several seconds, then cleared my throat and awkwardly announced, “Come in now.” He opened the door and entered.

I made him go get a makeshift blindfold from my extensive scarf collection. I tied it firmly around his head so he couldn’t see a damn thing, and then I forced him into a kneeling position on the floor. Figuring I’d start by turning myself on so I could be a better dom, I offered him one of my nipples. He licked and sucked it eagerly, and I started to melt a little into this delicious role I’d put myself in.

He reached around to my back, trying to pull my breast further into his mouth, but I snapped, “Don’t touch me.” He dropped his hands obediently, and I felt a wicked surge of pride for my little slave-boy.

I told him to lie down on the bed on his back, and spent some time biting the various sensitive spots on his chest and abdomen, just hard enough to communicate my control over him. I noted his enormous hard-on just before climbing onto him and straddling his face.

Ever the tease, I held his hair down with one hand, stopping him from licking me, and used the other hand to dip into my pussy and give him a taste on my fingers. He moaned from just the flavor of me, clearly wanting more. I laughed at his desire, and then finally lowered myself down onto his tongue.

If there’s one thing my slave-boy is extremely skilled at, it’s cunnilingus. He can do it for hours and it’s always brilliant, because he’s learned all the tricks I like best. This time was no exception – he licked and sucked as though his life depended on it.

Looking behind me and again noticing his immense erection, I told him, “I’m not going to touch you at all until you make me come.” That certainly motivated him; he sped up his motions and went at my pussy with even more enthusiasm and fervor. I held onto the bed tight to keep from shaking uncontrollably as his tongue circled and flicked my clit over and over.

Finally, I arrived at a shuddering orgasm. He stayed with me the whole way through, sucking, pressing, gently stroking me with his cute little tongue.

I told him, “Good boy,” smiling, and fetched a condom from the bedside table. He put it on while still wearing the blindfold – impressive! Then I slinked down his quivering body and lowered myself onto his cock of granite. “I’m going to ride you until you come,” I whispered, and I did.

My Sexual Wishlist

We all have those things that we’re a little embarrassed to have on our Amazon wishlists, incase mom and dad have a peek to see what to get us for our birthday. Here are a few of mine.

1. Jimmyjane Form 2 – Despite the fact that this toy has some mechanical issues, it’s also supposedly very strong and effective – and it’s Jimmyjane, so it’s luxurious as fuck. I’ve wanted this one pretty much since I discovered it existed.

2. Jimmyjane Iconic Rabbit – I almost got this one when I was shopping for rabbits about a month ago, but then I read some reviews which said that the toy broke quickly and didn’t live up to expectations, so I bought a highly lauded Cal Exotics rabbit instead. Very much regretting my decision now. I mean, Jimmyjane’s toys come with a warranty, so if it broke, it could have been replaced. Hmm.

3. Lelo Siri – Is this the perfect clitoral stimulator to use during intercourse? Quite possibly. Every time I pick up this toy to examine it at a sex shop, I’m struck by just how small, portable, and adorable it is. And strong! I can so imagine this nestling between my body and my boyfriend’s while we go at it – and more importantly, I can imagine it actually getting me off in that situation, unlike a lot of distracting, weak toys I’ve tried.

4. Eroscillator – I think the wiring in my brain has been permanently shaped by all the time I spent listening to Sex Is Fun when I was 14. And part of that manifests as a pressing lust for the Eroscillator. It doesn’t vibrate, it oscillates – which means no nerve desensitization, which means I wouldn’t have to keep turning up the power constantly, and I wouldn’t have to worry about having subpar sex the next day. This toy is ugly as shit but I want it, dammit.

5. Impressions Love Paddle – I am, admittedly, one of those vanilla people who thinks she’s super awesome for occasionally venturing into mild BDSM territory. Whatever, man; I know I’m not the kinkiest person in the world, and I’m okay with that. But I bet I’d be even more okay with it if I had a gorgeous paddle like this, with which to get the word “LOVE” emblazoned onto my ass by my handsome lover.

6. Njoy Pure Wand – Many, many women have told stories of this being the first toy to allow them to squirt. Personally, I’m a bit mystified by the sight of it, but I’m sure that if I gave it a shot, I would succumb to its stainless steel charms.

7. Don Wands cobalt Bent Graduate – I am a fan of glass dildos. My first one was made of glass, and you always remember your first. This one looks like it would leave me panting and sweating… and it’s bright cobalt blue. Swoon.

8. Liberator Wedge – I always used to think that sex furniture was largely a waste of money, especially these Liberator shapes that look like you could achieve the same effect with a stack of pillows. But the thing is, I don’t always have a stack of pillows on hand, nor do I always want to take the 30+ seconds it takes to arrange pillows into a neat little pile that won’t topple when I lay my ass on it. I think the Wedge would be a great investment. Especially in this color. (Can you tell I love royal blue?)

Review: Orchid G-spot vibrator

I bought the Orchid a few years ago as my first foray into G-spot toys. At only $28, it was a steal for a toy with such a delicious-looking shape. When I found out I could get in turquoise (as opposed to dark purple), that clinched it – it had to be mine.

The Orchid is made of hard plastic, which some find too rigid for their pleasure, but I’m a fan of vibrators that don’t give at all – they give my clit the pressure it needs.

The Orchid has an egg-shaped head that’s made to press nicely against the G-spot. It does, once it’s in, but the entry is a bit of a bitch – that bulbous head never seems to agree with my vaginal opening. Lube helps, but it still feels weird initially.

The other major downfall of the Orchid is its very narrow neck. The toy is recommended by Good For Her staff as a great pick for beginners, but it’s not the best choice for intermediate to advanced G-spotters who may prefer a more filling sensation. The Orchid’s rigid, narrow body doesn’t satisfy my vagina, even while its head is doing a sweet number on my G-spot.

But – BUT! – the Orchid is great for clitoral stimulation! In fact, for at least a year, it was my primary clitoral stimulator. Since its vibrations are designed to penetrate thick vaginal walls, they are very strong and rumbly, just the way my clit likes ‘em. The head is a nice shape for sitting on top of the clit and curving around it a little bit. At its highest setting, the Orchid is more than strong enough to bring me to a roaring orgasm. I wish the toy’s control dial was easier to reach with one hand – I always end up having to use two hands to manage the Orchid, because I like to turn up the power throughout my use of it, which makes it difficult to handle a dildo at the same time.

This toy takes two AA batteries, which go into the twist-off battery chamber at the base. There’s a little rubber strip around the chamber which makes the Orchid totally waterproof – fun times in the bath, anyone?

Overall, I would recommend this toy to someone who wants to begin to explore their G-spot, or someone who likes a fair bit of power on their clit. It’s certainly not a perfect toy by any means, but it gets the job done, and it comes in pretty colors.

Sexamples #001: New Mattress

I’m in the midst of upgrading to a new bed. Today the mattress was delivered, but due to some mistakes made by the bed company, I don’t have a bedframe or a box-spring yet… just a bare mattress, hanging out awkwardly on my bedroom floor.

The boyfriend and I, naturally, decided we needed to immediately christen this new piece of furniture. We sprawled across the mattress, which was still wrapped in plastic. And exchanged sexual favors. And then lay together smiling, having adequately welcomed the newcomer to my room.

Getting Over Penis Terror: A Triumphant Tale

Once upon a time, I was a little queer girl who had never touched a penis.

Admittedly, I had never touched anyone else’s pussy either. But I’d previously been in a sexual relationship with another girl for a year and a half, and I’d been skilfully managing my own pussy for almost two decades, so there was no intimidation there.

Single but desperately ready to mingle, it dawned on me that a huge part of my issue was my fear of penises. It dominated the shadowy back room of my brain, threatening to burst through and cause major anxiety. I’d think about a cute guy, fantasize about kissing him, maybe contemplate his tongue on my clit, but as soon as his dick became part of my visualization, I felt sick and confused.

Not to get all hippie-dippy on you, but I am certain that the universe sensed my penile apprehension, and that that’s why my romantic life was such a disaster during that time. I longed for my (safe, reliable, non-terrifying) female ex, and wrote her pathetic love songs, which freaked her the fuck out. I dated a guy who was entirely wrong for me and ended up dumping me so he could fuck four other girls at a party. I spent all my time wishing for a boyfriend while unconvincingly sidestepping what I knew was the real issue.

Men wrote to me on OkCupid, men of two different varieties: those who propositioned me for casual sex, and those who seemed genuinely sweet and interested in dating me. The former, I ignored, or occasionally wrote rude replies to; the latter category of men, however, were more difficult. I strung them along, convincing both them and myself that we would eventually meet, even just for coffee, but as soon as that possibility became real, I panicked and ended all contact. All because of that looming, impending penis that gnawed at my composure.

That didn’t change when I first started going out with Jeremy*, but I did like him more than I’d liked anyone in a long while. We went on cute dates to tea shops and bookstores, and while I giggled and gallivanted with him, I secretly dreaded the moment his pants would inevitably come off.

I let him touch me – over the shirt, under the bra, over the skirt, under the panties. I let him do all sorts of nice things to me, all of which he (thank god) loved doing. Sometimes I would be overcome with guilt that I hadn’t reciprocated his sensual touch yet, and I would burst into tears while lying with my head on his chest. He’d hold me and tell me it was okay, I could go as slow as I wanted, and he’d be willing to wait forever for me. But I didn’t want him to have to wait forever.

It was a combination of attraction, mild cajoling, and plain courage that finally got me to touch his penis for the first time. He said, “You don’t even have to do anything to it. You can just put your hand on it.” So I did.

It wasn’t so bad. Soft and sensitive, just like my girly bits. Lightning didn’t strike me dead; I didn’t faint from terror. It was just… fine.

After a couple minutes of gentle, idle touching, I withdrew my hand and he let me watch him jerk off. I snuggled up to him and cast my gaze on the way his hand worked his foreskin up and over the head of his cock, again and again, alternately concealing and revealing that moist, pink surface. That night, I wrote in my journal, It was actually kind of gorgeous.

*Name changed to protect the cocks and egos of the innocent.