Author: Kate Sloan

Review: Maddie’s Dungeon paddle and flogger

Kate Sloan

I will admit, it is tricky for me, a fairly vanilla (though extremely sex-positive) person, to write a proper review on implements of kink. I’m very aware of the fact that my perspective is probably going to be different from that of the target audience of these products. But I will write this anyway, because Maddie’s Dungeon was nice enough to send me a couple of lovely handmade spanking tools, and I want to tell you about them.

Of the two items, the oak paddle is definitely my favorite. There’s nothing fancy about this paddle – it’s just a smoothly-cut piece of wood with an easy-to-hold handle and a removable wrist strap – but it serves as an excellent reminder of why simplicity is a good thing. It gets the job done.

I thought my first foray into being spanked with a paddle would be significantly more painful than just getting spanked with a hand, but the paddle doesn’t change the amount of pain – just the kind of pain. My boyfriend’s hand produces a thuddy, dull pound, whereas the oak paddle is much more sting-y. I like both sensations a lot, and they both transmit vibration into my pussy – yum.

My boyfriend had primarily two comments on his experience using the paddle: he wondered about the usefulness of the wrist strap (I’ve been using it to hang the paddle from my curtain rod for storage, but we haven’t found another use for it) and he liked that the paddle is wide enough that he can hit both my asscheeks at the same time.

The major flaw of this paddle is that the wood isn’t treated with varnish. Apparently it’s thinly coated in mineral oil, but this doesn’t do much in terms of smoothing it out. I’m slightly worried about splinters with this one – I think Maddie’s Dungeon could vastly improve their wooden goods by giving them a coating in wooden salad bowl finish, or something like NobEssence’s “Lubrosity.”

As for the leather flogger (I can’t find the exact same one in their shop, but this one is close enough) – I don’t like it as much. I guess that’s to be expected, given that I’ve barely stuck my toe into the ocean of kink… but it’s not just that. My boyfriend and I both feel that it’s not very sexy-looking, with its pale grey half-braided falls and its messily-wrapped handle.

The flogger does sting, though, as it should, and it’s easy to wield. I think we’ll mostly be sticking to the paddle, however, since it feels more intimate and the level of pain is easier to control – plus, I just think it looks cuter in my boyfriend’s hand.

Thanks very much to Maddie’s Dungeon for donating some of their beautiful wares for review! Check out their paddles, crops and floggers if you’re looking to explore your inner painslut.

Progress Report: G-Spot Orgasms

Kate Sloan

Last week, I bought Deborah Sundahl’s book on squirting, ordered a Pure Wand, and stacked up a couple of thick towels on my bed. It was time.

I’ve been interested in exploring my G-spot for years and years – pretty much ever since I realized I had a vagina – but I’ve never fully gotten around to it until now. I guess, like most women, I was discouraged by mainly three things:

1. The idea that it just wouldn’t work for me. I’ve been having clitoral orgasms since I was a kid and it’s hard to wrap my head around the idea that there could be a whole different kind of orgasm waiting for me to figure it out.

2. The “need to pee” feeling. It can be a very unsettling sensation, especially since clitoral pleasure is so straightforwardly pleasurable and G-spot stimulation isn’t always.

3. The time and energy required. I find G-spot play much more exhausting and time-consuming than clit play, mainly because my G-spot needs to be stimulated for a long time before it’ll swell up enough to become sensitive.

Yes, I’ve been resistant. Yes, I’ve been lazy. But all that is beginning to change.

My recent ponderings and explorations began a few weeks ago, when, during oral sex, my boyfriend slipped a finger inside me and began to feel around. This is common for us, but for some reason, on this particular day, my G-spot was very responsive. I moaned and writhed wildly as he stroked it. Eventually, the pleasure got so great that I pushed his head away to stop him from tonguing my clit – I wanted to focus on the G-spot stimulation alone.

Over the next 40 minutes or so, we experimented with my spot. There was plenty of lube, and very fast thrusting, and vigorous “come-hithering,” and lots and lots and lots of moaning. It was a pleasure unlike any I had ever felt during my own masturbatory adventures – I could never reach my spot like he could, nor could I rub it as firmly or speedily as he could. (My boyfriend attributes his dexterity to a lifetime of playing video games.)

When we paused to rest and re-hydrate, I reached inside myself with a couple of fingers and found that my G-spot was more swollen than I had ever felt it before. It was bulbous and ridgy and surprising. I was elated: new sexual territory to explore!

Since then, I’ve taken matters into my own hands. I’ve used various curved toys to hit the spot, thrusting faster than I thought my arms could handle – and that insane pleasure has returned on a few occasions. It’s deeper and really does feel like I’m stimulating the back end of my clitoris – a new angle on the orgasmic pleasure I’ve been experiencing all these years.

I still haven’t been able to orgasm from my G-spot alone, nor have I squirted (as far as I can tell), but it’s been very fun to try. I’m going to keep working on it and I’ll report back, if and when I become a multiorgasmic sex goddess with a deliciously swollen and satisfied G-spot.

Review: Eroscillator

Kate Sloan

Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found you!

The folks at SexToysCanada were very generous this month. They let me choose any toy I wanted to review. I chose the Eroscillator, and I’m damn glad I did.

This thing is the best clit stimulator I have ever tried. Period. No other sex toy has ever made my clit as happy as the Eroscillator does. And I’ll tell you why.

1. The oscillations don’t numb me out. The Eroscillator doesn’t pound against your body like a regular vibrator – instead, it oscillates (picture an oscillating fan). I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with vibrators because they desensitize me so quickly – I usually only have about 10 minutes before I go mostly numb and find it difficult to reach orgasm with the toy. Not so with the Eroscillator. The Eros allows me to retain all the sensation from my clit’s 8,000 nerve endings for the entire duration of my solo sexytime, so every moment of oscillation is felt and enjoyed. And I can play as long as I want, without worrying about trying to race my clit to the finish line. Hallelujah!

2. Multiple attachments. The Eroscillator 2 Plus package comes with three dual-headed attachments: the Grapes and Cockscomb, Golden Spoon, and Ball and Cup.

The Grapes head is suuuper textured. It’s covered in ten bulbous balls that all massage the clit at once. I find it’s very intense and ideal for when I’m already warmed up and getting close to orgasm. Its flipside, the Cockscomb, is a thin semicircle whose edge provides the most direct, undiluted access to the oscillations of any of the attachment heads; I find this head is great for pushing me over the edge, though I can’t handle it at a lower arousal level.

The Golden Spoon doesn’t do much for me. It’s too shallow to properly cup my clit, and even when it does, the little ball at the top of the spoon is too harsh for my little clit. On the flipside are eight small balls, with a space in the middle where my clit can fit, but I don’t particularly enjoy this attachment.

The Ball side of the Ball and Cup is nice for warm-up but doesn’t do much for me. The Cup side, on the other hand, fits perfectly over my clit. It was the first one I tried, and it was the one that made me go, “Oh my god, how can this possibly feel as good as it does?!”

I also bought the Ultra-Soft Fingertip attachment, because Betty Dodson says it’s the only one you need. Some people find this attachment too gentle, but I think it’s perfect. The Eroscillator’s oscillations are a tiny bit too intense for me, but the Fingertip calms them down to a level that is absolutely optimum for my purposes. Plus, it’s got no texture, so if the other attachments are too rough on your clit, this is the one to get.

3. High power. The Eroscillator is a plug-in toy. No batteries, no recharging, nothing. And the power cord is 12 feet long, so I can jerk off across the room from my outlet if that’s what I feel like doing. Because the Eros is electric, it never loses power. It always performs to the best of its ability.

It has three speeds, and all of them are lovely. I could probably reach orgasm using only the first setting, but it’s more fun to click up to medium, and then finally to high when I get close to coming. (The high setting may not be comparable with the Hitachi, but because oscillations are so different from vibrations, it’s still every bit as satisfying and functional as a high-powered vibrator.)

4. Quiet. The attachments rattle around a fair bit when the Eros is turned on, but as soon as I touch it to my body, the noise practically goes silent. It can barely be heard at all through my duvet, and definitely can’t be heard at all through my door.

5. Fast orgasms. Because the Eros’ movement basically mimics a finger moving back and forth, but much much faster, it can bring me the same kind of awesome orgasms I get from rubbing my clit, but in a much shorter time. I’m normally the type of girl who needs lots of warm-up and build-up, but with the Eros, I can go from “zero” to “orgasm” in under five minutes if need be.

That said, there are some issues with the Eroscillator that you’ll want to keep in mind if you’re considering buying it…

1. It’s overpriced. Especially considering that it’s made of plastic and you may not like the attachments it comes with. The Fingertip attachment I bought, which some reviewers have said is the only one they enjoy at all, is $40 extra on top of the $140 Eroscillator. I doubt I even would have sprung for the Fingertip if I hadn’t had a reviewers’ discount and some reward points saved up, because I really think the price is ridiculous.

2. The attachments aren’t silicone, but Eroscillator says that’s because their material is “a better alternative to silicone’s poor mechanical properties.” I dunno about that, but the materials are apparently non-porous, phthalate-free, boilable and bleachable. I still wish they were silicone because I just trust it more, but then, I’m a sex toy snob.

3. It doesn’t come with any storage solutions. Not even a bag to keep the attachments in. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by the likes of Lelo and Njoy, but I’ve come to expect that if I shell out over $100 for a toy, it generally comes with a box, or at the very least, a drawstring bag. The Eroscillator comes in a cardboard box that’s difficult to use for storage. I keep my base unit on my bedside table and my attachments in a small plastic bag.

4. It’s ugly. I wasn’t sure whether to even include this point, because a) I don’t think the Eroscillator is that ugly and b) it doesn’t really matter to me anyway, because it’s still the best toy I’ve tried. But some people get hung up on the Eros’ appearance, saying it looks like an electric toothbrush or a medieval torture device. Whatever, man – if you turn it down because it doesn’t fit with your decor, you’re just missing out on some epic orgasms.

Overall, I’d highly recommend the Eroscillator to anyone with a clit. It’s strong, efficient, variable, thin enough to slide between two bodies during sex, and it produces some stellar orgasms. But if you need Hitachi-level vibration, or you don’t feel it’s worth the hefty investment, or you can’t get past its modest looks, maybe it’s not the toy for you.

I can tell you, though, that my clit is pretty damn enamored with this contraption, and I think yours would be too!

Thank you so much to the people at SexToysCanada for making my clit sing with pleasure!

Review: Tantus Ripple (small)

Kate Sloan

When PinkCherry.ca told me they were going to send me a small Tantus Ripple, I knew I was in for an adventure. I’ve done some anal play before, but the two anal toys I already have – a small tapered beginners’ piece, and the Ryder – are both plugs, designed to be worn for periods of time. This is quite different from the Ripple, which is a probe – it’s not meant to be worn, it’s meant to be used.

I was sent the Ripple in black, and it’s a great black – deep, badass, sexy. It looks like something a dominatrix would brandish at a client as a “punishment” – one part menacing, two parts delicious.

The Ripple boasts four beads, graduated in size from ¼" to 1". The two smallest beads are flimsy, due to their size, and like to flop around, which can pose a problem during insertion. It takes some finagling, but it’s never a problem getting the Ripple to slide in. Its size is perfect for a beginner – the smallest bead is about the size of a little finger, and the largest bead is closer to two of my fingers. This makes it great for warming up to a larger anal toy, if that’s what you want to do.

As I said, my other experiences with anal toys have been with plugs, so my first inclination with the Ripple was to leave it stationary inside me while masturbating… but that’s really not the best use of this toy. Its 5" length makes it feel slightly uncomfortable for me when it’s slid all the way in (am I hitting an inner sphincter?), so I don’t leave it there for long. Slowly sliding it in and out, however, is bliss. The beads create a satisfying, smooth “pop” without any pain or discomfort; it feels like my anus is being massaged, manipulated, in a wonderful way. It’s a great accompaniment to clitoral stimulation – I love holding my Eroscillator (review coming soon!) on my clit while stroking the Ripple in and out of my ass.

One thing that’s slightly sad about the Ripple is how quickly it makes me want something larger. I don’t know if it’s the graduated beads working their magic, or if this size of the Ripple really is very small, but I almost always crave a bigger toy after only a few minutes of playing with this one. Of course, I can always switch over to my Ryder, but the jump in size is still pretty wide. I wonder if the Ripple’s large size might be the next logical step for me, since it’s only a half-inch wider than the small one.

I also find it slightly annoying that I can’t leave the Ripple inside me without touching it or it’ll generally slide out. This is in part due to its slender shape, and in part due to its circular base (clearly not made to nestle between buttcheeks). I can’t fault the Ripple for not doing something it’s not made to do, but it would be cool to have a truly dual-purpose probe/plug.

Even though this toy hasn’t been a perfect match with my anatomy, I still believe Tantus reigns as the best source for high-quality silicone sex toys, both anal and vaginal. This experience has made me curious to try out some of Tantus’s other anal toys, like the Little Flirt, the small Silk, or the B-bomb.

Thanks so much, PinkCherry.ca, for putting a spring in my step and a Ripple in my butt!

That Time I Went to a Handjob Workshop

Kate Sloan

After I grew to like penises, I quickly grew to love handjobs. The closeness, the intimacy, the ability to completely control my boyfriend with a flick of my wrist or a quick adjustment of finger positioning. I love everything about giving pleasure with my hands.

By a stroke (ha!) of luck, I happened to win a free ticket to a handjob workshop, around the same time that I was just getting into them. I felt very much like the universe was taking care of me; like it knew what I wanted.

The workshop was held in the upstairs room of my favorite feminist sex shop. I signed in, climbed the stairs, and chose an empty seat directly facing the instructor. I got out a pen and my little notebook, ready to record anything important.

The instructor began by telling us about herself – her sexual and professional history, and why she felt qualified to be giving this workshop. She came across as very smart and savvy, and I felt I was in good hands, so to speak.

Then we went around the circle and each told the group our name, our reason for attending the workshop, and our favorite part of the male physique. Some people had very little experience dealing with penises (like me) and wanted to learn from the ground up; others had been giving handjobs for literally decades and just wanted to pick up a few tricks. As for our favorite feature of the male body, many people said they like men’s warmth, arms, and butt; I professed my passion for the foreskin. (This proved to be a great idea because it meant that the instructor addressed me all evening with tips specifically for uncut guys.)

It was around this time that I began to feel really comfortable. These things are always awkward at first, but you quickly realize that you’re in good company. Everyone around me was non-judgmental and passionate about penises – the perfect crowd for such an event.

The workshop progressed into a lesson on penile anatomy. Most of the stuff, I already knew – the head of the penis, the shaft, balls, frenulum, perineum, prostate – but the instructor mentioned that the entire underside of the penis is sensitive, compared to the top side, which I’d never really pondered before. I’d spend most of my time focusing on my boyfriend’s frenulum, never knowing that the rest of that side was very receptive too.

The instructor passed out a two-page handout for us to take notes on, and began to walk us through what she considers the three most important elements of a handjob: variety, lube, and pressure. We discussed “mixing it up,” and which lubes are best for giving HJs (silicone-based, or an oil if you’re not going to use condoms afterward). Some people had questions, which the instructor answered thoughtfully and insightfully.

Then we had a 15-minute break. I wandered downstairs and bought a little bottle of Pjur, convinced of the wonders of silicone-based lube, and a few flavored condoms just for fun.

When we started up again, we dove straight into techniques. A basket of realistic silicone dildos was passed around, and we each took one. Then the lube circulated; we rubbed it onto our dildos, and only the occasional participant seemed at all embarrassed. We referred to the list of technique names on our handout, and the instructor demonstrated each of them, moving slowly and purposefully from move to move. Sometimes she’d show us a video of a particular technique in action, to help us understand. She walked around the room and watched people’s hands, adjusting us when we got something wrong.

We went through each technique twice, to make sure they were truly drilled into our muscle memory. After taking a few questions, the instructor had us go around the room and each say one technique that we were most looking forward to trying out. I honestly don’t remember what I said, because I ended up going home and trying out all of them on my very lucky boyfriend.

I’d definitely recommend sex workshops to anyone who feels brave enough to go, provided that they’re held in a reputable venue (don’t go to your local skeezy adult video shop to be taught proper sexual technique!). They can be very empowering and may enliven your sex life with some much-needed confidence. Maybe I’ll even drag my boyfriend to a couples’ workshop someday.