Behind the Seams: Solo Dinners, Writing Adventures, & Barbie

June 17, 2023

After recording my song video for the week, I changed into this for the rest of the day. (Not really sure why I almost always pick an outfit/”costume” for my weekly song videos; it’s just become part of the process for me at this point. That week’s song was a sardonic post-breakup anthem so I wore all black with a big red heart necklace.)

I wore this outfit to go to the park and write fanfiction while sitting on a bench. This has been one of my favorite pastimes these past few months – not just writing fanfic but specifically doing it while sitting outside, surrounded by people and birds and grass. The bustle of it seems to help with my creative flow, kind of like sitting in a café, only more summery. (Incase you’re wondering, the chapter I wrote on this day was a CBT-infused BJ scene.)

What I’m wearing:

• Dark green cropped T-shirt – Calvin Klein (it’s surprised me how often I’ve worn this since buying it – it’s just sooo comfy because it’s made of a modal blend)
• Dark blue plaid schoolgirl skirt – H&M; bought a size up from my usual size because I wanted it to sit at my hips and not my waist, so it wouldn’t be obscenely short on me (and honestly it’s still pretty obscenely short)
Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star sneakers
• Tiffany & Co. dog collar
• Blue leather briefcase – Coach Outlet (it’s exactly the right size for me to slip my laptop, wallet, keys, phone, and headphones into it for jaunts to the park to write)


July 15, 2023

I wore this to go see a one-person show, starring and written by one of the kids who was on the high school improv team I coached in 2011-2012. I say “kid” but that was actually so long ago that they’re all adults now, doing amazing stuff out in the world.

I pretty much always have a great time when I go see theatre by myself. This particular theatre was enforcing a mask requirement so I didn’t feel too nervous about it COVID-wise. I laughed and cried and marvelled and it was a lovely night.

What I’m wearing:

Hippo Campus T-shirt – a gift from my brother
• Navy A-line skirt – Old Navy like a decade ago
Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star sneakers
Coach Rambler crossbody bag
• Custom-engraved “Daddy’s” heart-shaped lock from L’Amour-Propre worn on a chain


July 21, 2023

All the Barbie fever had me feeling hype about the color pink, so here’s what I wore a couple days before going to see the movie.

My partner and I have developed a protocol for my current ~secret project~ where, when I hit certain milestones, they pay for me to have a nice solo dinner out somewhere. So on this night I got dressed up and went for a luxuriant meal at my local fancy steakhouse. I was reading a long Sherlock fanfic on my Kindle, and sipped cocktails while eating scallops, steak, and mashed potatoes. Perfect self-date, if you ask me!

What I’m wearing:

Black dress – Grace Karin (bought when I dressed up as Bettie Page for Halloween a couple years back)
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell, a findom gift from my love
• Pink and blue silk headscarf – a gift from my friend Sarah
• Tiffany & Co. dog collar
• Coach Rambler crossbody bag
• Prescription sunglasses – Zenni


July 23, 2023

My outfit to go see Barbie with some pals!

Dressing to a theme is so much fun. Some people on my Twitter timeline observed that we should all dress up for movies more often (those of us who like doing that, anyway) and I agree. Sometimes choosing a theme or goal aesthetic is the best way for me to motivate myself to get dressed and get out of the house, because I relish the femme challenge of it.

The movie was great! I only wished there was more Michael Cera, but, y’know. We can’t always get what we want.

What I’m wearing:

Pink sequinned dress – Grace Karin
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell
• Coach Rambler crossbody bag
• Pink sparkly heart necklace – Tarina Tarantino
• Pink KN95 mask – MaskC (I’m not wearing it in these photos but you can see it in my hand, and it was an important part of the overall look)


July 31, 2023

Another outfit for a cute solo date, this one a little more low-key – I went to my local British pub and had a delicious and indulgent meal while, again, reading Sherlock fic on my Kindle. I am a creature of habit.

The tote bag was a gift from the folks at Vibratex, the current makers and distributors of the legendary Magic Wand, and I love it. I’ve been putting various enamel pins on it, most of them Magic Wand-themed, to liven it up a little. I like that the message written on it is subtle enough that people don’t stare at me weirdly in public, but is a bit of a wink-wink-nudge-nudge to anyone who happens to know about the Magic Wand.

What I’m wearing:

Navy T-shirt – Wythe Hotel (worn about a zillion times since I acquired it shortly after having my very meaningful 3rd date with my partner at said hotel)
• Black ruffly skirt – thrifted in 2007-ish; it’s been a loyal fave for many years
Black leather Frye harness boots
• “I make magic happen” tote bag – gift from Vibratex
• My sub’s chastity key on a chain


August 1, 2023

A little androgynous flavor for ya!

I wore this to go have drinks with an old friend/FWB who I met when we both worked at the same sex shop. We had a lively discussion over dinner and drinks, and then drunkenly made out in front of a subway station for a while. Ideal.

Then I wandered over to my parents’ house and hung out with my mama for a bit, catching up on what’s going on with her.

What I’m wearing:

• White V-neck men’s T-shirt – Hanes
• Black high-waisted straight-leg jeans – Madewell
Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star sneakers
• Hair styled in a way I’ve been doing it a lot lately, which involves applying pomade when it’s wet, combing it all back so it dries perfectly straight/flat, and then flat-ironing it to give it some extra polish