I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that loneliness has been a serious problem for many of us during the pandemic. As a hardcore introvert who doesn’t live alone, I’ve been spared the worst of it, but it still sneaks up on me sometimes. Here are 31 things I do regularly that help ease the pain of loneliness:
- Have long phone calls with my spouse nearly every night.
- While on those phone calls, sync up shows/movies to watch together, so it’s almost like we’re cuddled up on the couch enjoying entertainment together like a non-long-distance couple could do.
- Look at real estate websites and imagine the parties I would throw, post-COVID, if I owned this brick-walled loft or that Grecian mansion.
- Skype with my best friend once a week to catch up and record our podcast.
- Watch live improv shows online (the Bad Dog Comedy channel on YouTube, and the usually-weekly performance of RaaatScraps, are my faves). It almost feels like being in an actual comedy venue again.
- Read books containing loveable characters. Literature, I think, is one of humanity’s best ways for mentally communing with other people when we can’t physically be around other people.
- Drink wine and play Jackbox games with my roommate and her boyfriend once a week or so.
- Occasionally lurk around online dating sites fantasizing about what my life would be like if I was dating this person or that. (Turns out that a tendency to visit site after site into the wee hours is maybe not the healthiest thing for me, but hey, life is a journey of self-discovery!)
- Flirt with people on social media.
- Argue with people on Reddit. (Would not recommend.)
- Learn to deeply enjoy my own company. This is a lifelong process, I suspect.
- Watch old videos of fun times with friends.
- Play songs on my piano and ukulele, close my eyes, and imagine I’m performing them for a massive crowd (in a post-pandemic world in which that would not be at all concerning for any of us).
- Chat with my therapist on the phone twice a month.
- Cuddle with cats.
- Cultivate obsessions with YouTubers – gorgeous women doing beauty tutorials, clever men making cocktails, etc.
- Use realistic sex toys and fantasize about various hot people.
- Learn to cook new meals and make new drinks, in the hopes of one day being able to serve them to people I love.
- Leave my favorite Twitch streamer’s videos playing on my iPad when I go to sleep, just to hear the comforting sound of a familiar voice (even if he happens to be battling the Elite Four or trying to catch a shiny Rayquaza or whatever).
- Have one-person dance parties in my room, and imagine I’m surrounded by sweaty bodies writhing in tandem at a club.
- Make a gratitude list.
- Go for (masked) walks down to the waterfront, to be with the wind and the waves and the other wandering souls who’ve found their way there.
- Send out compliments as often as it occurs to me to do so.
- Create families in The Sims and have them throw parties, go on adventures, etc.
- Listen to music that seems to “get” how I’m feeling, like that of Ben Hopkins, Paul Cook & the Chronicles, Sarah Vaughan, Ski Lift, Blossom Dearie, Hippo Campus, Fleet Foxes, and Nick Jonas (his most recent album Spaceman is full of COVID vibes!).
- Reflect on memories of wonderful social experiences, like being part of a competitive improv team, attending sex-positive mixers, and chatting with the folks who came to my book launch event.
- Add more lamps to my room. I don’t know why, but they make the space feel cozier.
- Be proactive about my own self-care, including stuff like taking my meds + vitamins every day and using my SAD lamp every day, because taking good care of myself is extra important when no one is physically around to take care of me.
- Step away from the internet sometimes. Being online may seem like a solution to loneliness, because there are so many people buzzing around on there, but often it just exacerbates the problem. “Touch grass,” as the kids say.
- Look out my window at all the lit-up windows of other people who are stuck inside.
- Remember, always, that this too shall pass.
This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.