All Reviews

Review: Jimmyjane Intro 2

Kate Sloan

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I don’t think you quite understand the incongruity of shitty sex toy company Pipedream having bought out luxury sex toy company Jimmyjane. This is like if McDonalds bought out the Rainbow Room and started selling a deep-fried, mystery-meat bastardization of their filet mignon. This is a strange thing. This is a thing that should not have been allowed. And yet, it happened.

The Jimmyjane Intro 2 is, essentially, a deep-fried mystery-meat filet mignon of a sex toy. Pipedream took the bare bones of one of my favorite clitoral vibrators – the Form 2 – and made it cheap, battery-powered, awkwardly large, and even buzzier than before.

The Form 2 fit in my hand perfectly: small, smart and spartan. The Intro 2 is like the large-print version of the same toy – it feels unnecessarily big, to the point that I am always aware I am holding a sex toy and the vibrations can’t just melt into the periphery of my perception. This might make it a better choice than the Form 2 for people who struggle with hand dexterity – but for me, it’s just annoying.

But my main issue with the Intro 2 is the vibrations. I mean, it’s a vibrator; that’s always going to be the make-or-break factor. The Form 2 was buzzy-ish to begin with – moreso, certainly, than other blogger-revered clit vibes like the Tango and Siri 2 – but it had a rumbly base note that endeared it to my clit. The Intro 2 lacks that rumbly foundation, and is all buzz. That’s great if you like that, but I don’t. It numbs me out within a couple of minutes, leaving me to grumble gripes like “My kingdom for an Eroscillator!” and “Nah, that’s cool, I didn’t want to be able to feel my genitals or anything.”

imageThe Intro 2 also lacks my absolute favorite thing about the Form 2: a setting where the vibrations moved quickly back and forth between the toy’s two “ears,” creating what Jimmyjane termed “sensation in stereo.” To me, this setting felt more like oral sex than other toys that actually try to mimic oral sex; the vibrations flippity-flopping from one ear to the other were like the side-to-side flicking of a firm tongue. This setting’s been phased out in the Intro 2, and it really bums me out.

And we need to talk about the one button on the Intro 2, because it makes me want to throw this vibrator into a fire. Whereas the Form 2 had an elegant three-button control system (up, down, and change mode), the Intro 2 only has one button, via which you are forced to cycle through its multiple modes and speeds one by one. If there’s a particular setting or speed you love and want to get back to, you have to get through all the other ones first. No vibrator should be designed this way. Give me intuitive vibrator design or give me death.

It is, in some sense, exciting that Pipedream is trying to make fancy-ass Jimmyjane toys more accessible to lower-income folks. Not everyone can afford to spend $80+ on a luxury vibrator, and I get that. But even at a low price point, there are options that far outperform this buzzy, cumbersome facsimile. If you want a decent, rumbly clit vibe for under $50, try the Jopen L2 or Sensuelle Point. If you can afford to save up for something pricier but really excellent, grab the Tango for $79 ($71 with my discount code GIRLY10); it’s rumblier and more intuitive than anything Jimmyjane’s ever made, pre- or post-Pipedream buyout.

Babes, your clit deserves better than the Intro 2. Just like Jimmyjane deserved better than to be bought and rebranded by a company like Pipedream. Give your clit a happier ending than Jimmyjane got, please.

Thanks to Peepshow for sending me this toy to try!

Review: Grey Knight Erotica

Kate Sloan

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I’ve gotten into erotic audio in a big way over the past year. It fills a need I didn’t even know I had. When I watch porn, the sounds are vitally important to me: moaning, dirty talk, even the ambience of wetness on skin. It’s such a crucial part of my experience that if a porn scene is muted or the background music is too loud, I’ll turn it off; it has no hope of getting me off.

So of course audio porn is the ideal erotic medium for me. And I’m a tad obsessed.

My tastes in erotic audio are diverse, encompassing multiple creators in multiple styles – but today I’m gonna talk to you about the Grey Knight. He’s one of the more popular creators in this genre, at least in my social spheres: fawning links to his audios show up pretty frequently in my Twitter stream and on my Tumblr dashboard. He’s all over Spotify and YouTube, he’s got a podcast, and his Patreon community is thriving. Dude’s branding and output are off the damn charts.

That’d be impressive enough to me, but the audios he creates are worthy of all that attention, and that’s even more impressive. His work spans several different styles, kinks, and approaches, so if you’re attracted to men (in reality or even just in fantasy), you’ll probably be able to find something in his catalogue that excites your ears and your junk.

A current favorite of mine is “You’ve Got a Mouth On You.” It combines several of my biggest kinks: giving head, being instructed in how to please a partner, and Daddy Dom/little girl roleplay. Throughout this audio, the Knight gives the listener (his “little girl”) moment-by-moment directions on how to suck him off, all from the perspective of a kind, nurturing Daddy. There’s a lot of growling and moaning, but those instructions and encouragements take center stage in this one. Unf.

I also really enjoy “Treat,” a sweet, vaguely Halloween-themed (as in “trick or treat”) cunnilingus-based audio with a DD/lg dynamic. It’s really hard to pull off oral sex in audio form without sounding like a pig at the trough, but the Grey Knight manages it. This one’s peppered with verbal encouragement, some mild chastising for wearing a skirt that’s too short (!), and satisfying moans.

Beyond your standard sex and kink fare, the Knight also does some more out-there fantasy roleplays: vampires, impregnation, police interrogation, even pirates. I’ve mostly been listening to these audios on Spotify, where there’s very little room for keywords and trigger warnings, and I wish that wasn’t so. It would be easier to choose the perfect audio for my current mood if I could know in advance what tone and potential triggers each one contained. Most of the time lately, I’ve felt like being dominated in a sweet, nurturing, coddling way, and while the Grey Knight has a lot of DD/lg audios along those lines, it’s not always easy to find one in a hurry.

I like the Knight’s voice, but I do think he comes across as a little smarmy and even dorky sometimes. That’s kinda my jam – think nerdy, domly math professor – but it might not be yours. If you like his voice, though, you’re in luck: there are hours upon hours of it available online. Sometimes he switches up his timbre or accent to achieve a particular character or archetype, often to great effect. (Y’all know I’m a sucker for voices and impressions.)

Unlike some erotic audio creators, the Knight’s recordings rarely feel too scripted or too loose – they strike a good balance between those two extremes, maybe due to his experience working in radio. The yarns he spins feel structured and well-paced enough that I don’t lose interest, but there’s still usually an improvisational feel to the things he says. Just like real dirty-talk during real sex with a real dom, you get the sense that he knows what he wants to achieve and where he wants to take the scene, but he’s also going to go with the flow and do what feels right in the moment.

To say the least, I have jerked off many times while working on this review. And that’s the highest compliment I can give to a maker of erotic media. Check out the Grey Knight’s audios if you want to try something new, enjoy an ambient fantasy, or just walk around the city with a slutty secret in your headphones.

 

Heads up: this review was sponsored, but as always, all words and opinions are my own!

Review: Liberator Jaz

Kate Sloan

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“Hang on, stop for a second, I wanna put something under my hips,” I told my beau when he’d been fucking me for a few minutes. It felt pretty good, but I wanted to feel him more: deeper, harder, more insistent. I grabbed my Liberator Jaz from beside the bed and slid it underneath me. When he pushed back inside me, everything felt instantly better for both of us. The intimacy and pleasure had both been cranked up in one fell swoop.

I used to think it was silly to spend exorbitant amounts of money on “sexual positioning aids,” when you could so easily just use pillows to achieve the same ends. However, that was before I actually tried some of these positioning aids. Sure, they’re a luxury, and regular ol’ pillows approximate the effect. But Liberator products feel effortless and exact in a way that pillows don’t. There’s no shuffling them around, fluffing them up, or stacking them on top of each other to achieve the ideal height. You just stick one where you want it and it does what it’s supposed to.

13385668_1603315256648799_542192948_nI already own a Liberator Wedge, and it’s huge. I appreciate its support when I’m reading (or blogging) in bed, but I don’t pull it out during sex that much, because it’s just awkwardly wide for my purposes. It’s great for leaning on when I’m getting fucked from behind, but I almost never use it during missionary PIV sex or masturbation because I find it takes me too long to get into position on it, due to how big and bulky it is.

The Jaz, by contrast, is about 15 inches wide to the Wedge’s 24. It’s like the difference between tongs and tweezers when you’re trying to tame your eyebrows. I certainly don’t mean to throw shade at the Wedge or folks who use it, but the Jaz is just soooo much better suited to how I tend to have sex. It’s small and convenient enough that I actually use it, instead of thinking, “Nah, that’d be too much work and take too long, so I’ll just keep getting fucked flat on the bed even though I want a better angle.”

Speaking of angles… There is a difference between the Wedge and the Jaz in that category too, and it’s subtle but important. The Wedge’s angle is supposedly 27 degrees, and the Jaz’s is slightly less steep than that. For my particular body, the Wedge feels a leeeetle bit too high, tipping my hips so my belly and ribs feel squished. The Jaz’s angle is marginally gentler and I love it.

The Jaz also has the benefit of being substantially cheaper ($59) than the Wedge ($90). It has one of the most reasonable price tags in the whole Liberator catalogue. Yay!

As with most Liberator products, the outer fabric casing of the Jaz can be zipped off and laundered. It has a moisture-resistant liner so it can contend with your squirt and lube, but if you tend to really soak the bed, you might wanna toss a Throe over top for convenience’s sake. My Jaz’s microsuede material is soft and comfortable to the touch, but grippy enough that it doesn’t slide around when I’m getting fucked on it.

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Here, ranked, are my favorite uses for the Jaz:

  1. Under my butt while getting fucked in missionary. This is truly primo. It allows my partner to get super deep inside me, pressing deliciously against my G-spot and A-spot as he does so. It also makes it easier for him to leave a little room between us, so I can use my fingers or a vibe on my clit to get myself off. But if he does drop his body down onto mine so we’re pressed together, it feels like we get even closer and more intertwined than we do without the Jaz. My hips push up against his with no effort on my part, and everything feels better and more intense.
  2. Under my butt while a partner goes down on me. It’s like my vulva is being served to him on a silver platter, except the platter is made of hot pink microsuede. Some partners have also told me there’s less of a strain on their neck or jaw when I use a positioning aid during oral sex.
  3. Under my hips and lower belly while getting fucked from behind. My partner can stand at the edge of the bed to fuck me this way, or just lie on top of me. These positions create intense G-spot sensations on their own, but the addition of the Jaz makes them even more mindblowing. Elevating my hips also allows my partner to get in there deeper – always a plus for me, what with my love of A-spot stimulation.
  4. Under my hips and lower belly while getting spanked. This creates a butt-exhibiting elevation similar to when I’m draped over a partner’s knees. There is something so vulnerable and hot about having your ass in the air and ripe for a smackin’.
  5. Under my butt while getting fingerbanged or pounded with a toy. Angling is less of a struggle with fingers and toys than it is with a penis, but somehow the Jaz still manages to make these acts feel more intense to me.
  6. Under my butt while masturbating. My hips get tilted toward me so I have easier access to my clit and vag, even with my chubby belly in the way. I particularly like to use the Jaz for masturbation sessions I know will be marathons, involving lots of hard and fast thrusting. I can go for much longer when I don’t have to strain to reach the toy I’m fucking myself with.

I haven’t yet had the opportunity to use the Jaz during blowjobs or anal sex, but I’d imagine it would help with those things too. Basically it’s a genius invention, so simple and yet infinitely useful. I adore my Liberator Jaz and I know I’ll use it for many years to come!

 

No one sent me this product to review. I bought one my own damn self because I wanted it that much!

Review: Rouge Garments Red Padded Collar

Kate Sloan

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If there’s one thing I’ve learned from practicing kink, it’s that there’s no such thing as objectively good or objectively bad.

What I like might gross you out. What you like might hurt me too much. What I hate might make you laugh. What you hate might turn me on. When it comes to kink, one man’s trash is another man’s pleasure.

I thought about that a lot while trying the Rouge Garments red padded collar I was sent by Bondage Bunnies. It’s awkwardly wide (2.75 inches, to be precise), making it feel like a neck brace when I wear it. The thick padding seems like it would increase comfort, but it actually makes the collar bulkier and more restrictive. The collar’s thickness and rigidness make it difficult to turn my head while it’s on me. Its clasp is difficult to undo on my own, often taking several minutes of pushing, pulling, sweating and swearing before it’ll pop free.

imageBut look at that list of defects again, and you’ll see that this collar is surely exactly what some people are looking for. Bondage toys are, by their nature, meant to be restrictive and uncomfortable; it’s just that some people like more extreme levels of restriction and discomfort than others. For me, this collar was too much; for some folks, it’d be ideal.

My relationship to collars is, I will admit, somewhat frivolous. Aside from this one, I also own a pink and black Aslan Leather collar and one from Ardene that is technically a dog collar. For the most part, I consider them fashion accessories – but in a deeper sense, I do think of the Aslan one as “my collar.” I put it on when I’m feeling subby and want the sense of calm I get from wearing it – or when a dom partner tells me to.

My Aslan collar is suitable for both everyday wear and kink play, because it’s unobtrusive and not especially over-the-top. Wearing it in public makes me look more like a goth babe or a fashion-forward scene kid than a full-on kinkster. Its 1.5″ width is noticeable without being annoying, and it’s made of leather so soft and pliable that it’s always comfortable.

None of that is true for the Rouge Garments collar – but I know some people want to notice their collar when it’s on, want to be aware of it at every moment, want to be constricted by its insistent bulk. And to those people, I say: I will not yuck your yum, although it isn’t mine.

 

Thanks to Bondage Bunnies for sending me this product to review!

Babes, Bards, and Batterers: 3 Brief Book Recommendations

Kate Sloan

Tina Horn has one of my favorite brains in the world, as I’ve told you before. When I heard she was writing a book about sexting, I texted my best friend a mangled string of all-caps words followed by a glut of exclamation points. I can’t help it: a favorite writer of mine writing about a favorite activity of mine? Sign me up.

Simply called Sexting, the book is as straightforward and to-the-point as its title would indicate. It contains practical advice on all things sexting and sexting-adjacent, from online dating to selfie-taking to vocabulary choice to sextual aftercare.

Tina’s book is written such that a beginner to the world of sexting can pick it up and learn, but you’ll come away with some fresh tips even if you’re a seasoned sexter. I love this book and find myself referring to it time and time again!

Incidentally, it was on Tina Horn’s podcast that I first heard about this next book, Sex with Shakespeare by Jillian Keenan. Jillian is a lifelong spanking fetishist – in the true sense of the word “fetishist,” i.e. she has never had an orgasm thinking about anything but spanking. This would be interesting grounds for a memoir in and of itself, but Jillian’s also a Shakespeare nerd, so she’s interwoven her personal story with kinky analysis of the Shakespeare plays that helped her process her emotions as she came to terms with her fetish.

Prior to reading this book, I liked spanking and kinda-sorta liked Shakespeare; now that I’ve read it, I like (and understand) both a whole lot more. Jillian’s writing transports you around the world and throughout history, and you learn a whole lot about her kink and any kinks of your own on the way. Now I’m hungry for more memoirs by clever fetishists like Ms. Keenan!

I read Sex with Shakespeare on my Kindle, but there are good reasons to go analog with this tome. When I gifted Georgia a hardcover copy, she proceeded to (consensually) spank me real fuckin’ hard with it while I was bent over the arm of her sofa. Be still, my li’l kinkster heart!

I recently found out a friend of mine is chronically abusive, and cut him out of my life entirely. I’m very lucky to have been spared the majority of his abuse, but nonetheless, it was a difficult experience to process. I kept wondering: what made him do those things? Was he aware of what he did to those women, or was it inadvertent? How could I have been so blind to his tactics? Or, to put it how author and domestic abuse counselor Lundy Bancroft puts it: Why Does He Do That?

I picked up this book as research for a writing project, but it quickly became clear that I needed to read it for personal reasons, too. Learning about the mindset of abusive men helped me understand what I’ve been through, and gave me tools to analyze potential red flags I see in the behaviors of other men as well. This book is written specifically for women currently mired in relationships with abusive men, but you’ll find it interesting and affirming if abusers have ever confused or frightened you in any capacity.

 

What books have you read and loved recently? Lay ’em on me!