All Reviews

Review: Wahl 2-Speed

Kate Sloan

The Wahl 2-Speed All-Body Massager is meant for sore muscles, not genitalia. But then again, so is one of the most famous vibrators of all time, the Hitachi Magic Wand. So even though the Wahl’s instruction pamphlet says specifically to avoid using the massager on your junk, I went ahead and did it anyway, because plenty of other reviewers told me it would be awesome.

It is awesome. The AC-powered Wahl is easily the strongest vibrator I’ve ever used – which makes sense, given that it’s designed to penetrate deeply into muscles.

In fact, I’m such a sensitive gal that I initially didn’t enjoy my Wahl all that much. I’d hold it on my clit on the low setting for a few seconds and then I’d get that tickly, too-sensitive feeling and have to remove it. For me, the solution was as simple as positioning the vibe a little higher up on my clitoral hood, closer to the vulval mound. Et voilà! Pleasure.

As its name suggests, the Wahl 2-Speed has… two speeds. The lower one is somewhat buzzy, and is comparable with the high settings on most standard vibrators. It’s a nice speed, but I find my clit wants more when I get close to coming. So I click up to the high speed, which is kind of insane. Every Wahl review I’ve read has made some comparison to a jackhammer or other power tool, and that’s apt. It’s extremely rumbly and very intense. It literally feels like someone very tiny is punching my clit repeatedly. I know that sounds unpleasant – and it would be, if I jumped right into it – but when I’m aroused enough, it’s exactly what I need.

My Wahl is an older one, so it came with seven different attachments, each with a different body part it’s supposed to service. The newer Wahls only come with four of the seven, but luckily, this includes the two most useful ones for sexytimes usage – the “spot application” attachment, which is perfect for clits and nipples, and the “facial massage” attachment, which can be used like a suction cup to make your favorite dildo vibrate. (Yes, I have tried this, and the vibrations are so strong that I actually enjoy it, despite the fact that I don’t generally like internal vibration. Yay!)

The obvious upside of the Wahl is that it will get you off. Much like the Hitachi, some people might have to use it through towels or underwear or what have you, but it will eventually give you an orgasm. But what about the downsides? Well, it’s kinda heavy. And it’s kinda bulky. It doesn’t fit so well between bodies for use during sex. It may be a bit numbing for some, especially on the buzzier lower setting. And my orgasms with the Wahl, while being very strong and reliable, are sometimes almost painful because the high speed is so aggressive.

This isn’t a vibe for folks who can get off easily from little stimulation. This is a vibe for those of us who enjoy serious power (indeed, clit-punching power) and aren’t afraid to put our genitals near a massager that resembles a gun or a hairdryer.

If that sounds like you, get the Wahl. It’s more focused than the Hitachi and some say it’s even stronger, so other than temporary clitoral sensitivity, what have you got to lose?

Porn Review: Crash Pad Series #83

Kate Sloan

I have a crush on Tina Horn and Roger Wood as a couple. Their scene in Live Sex Show stirred up some heat in my panties, but it wasn’t til I saw them in Jiz Lee’s birthday party orgy that I realized how much fondness I have for watching these two people have sex. There’s a shot in the orgy where Tina and Roger’s faces aren’t even visible, just their bodies, clothes, and the strap-on they’re using – and I recognized them from that alone. I saw the purple dildo, rough fucking, and juicy spankable ass, and I thought, “That’s gotta be Roger and Tina.” And of course, it was.

Their one-on-one scene for Crash Pad is even better. It’s pretty much what I’ve come to expect from these two: a relaxed but serious D/s dynamic and the authentic intimacy of two real-life lovers.

Things I don’t really like about this scene: Roger spitting on Tina’s pussy (spitting never does anything for me in porn) and the squeaking noises the bed makes (they actually broke the Crash Pad bed while filming this, though that part’s been edited out of the clip and put into the “behind the scenes” featurette instead).

Things I do really like about this scene: Tina’s perfect ass getting spanked until it reddens. Tina calling Roger “Daddy” and “baby.” The way Roger fucks the shit out of Tina and the noises she makes in response. The moment when Roger instructs Tina to remove her skirt and panties and get on the bed, and Tina says, “What about my socks?” and Roger tells her to leave them on, which makes her laugh. The way Roger stays mostly clothed while Tina is mostly naked. The genderfuckery. Roger’s hand wrapped around Tina’s throat. The way he still manages to be the Dom even while Tina’s on top, by saying “Come on, fuck me, come on.” And then when he says “You gonna come for Daddy?” and she does. The totally loving and worshipful cunnilingus that follows after the lengthy ravaging.

One of the really endearing things about Tina Horn is that she clearly loves being fucked, but also needs clitoral stimulation to get off (or so it would seem, anyway). She’s like most of us. And she doesn’t deny or downplay that need, unlike a lot of porn stars who will pretend they’re having wild orgasms from penetration alone. She rubs her clit during sex and neither partner has any issue with that. Brava!

And the most endearing thing about Roger, to me, is that he fucks like a wildman. Seriously, this is some of the fastest, hardest, roughest fucking I’ve ever seen, and yet it still manages to seem somewhat controlled and G-spot-focused. Every time I see Roger fuck, I think, “Damn, my pussy wants some of that.” And really, isn’t that what watching porn is all about?

This is just a very fucking sexy scene that makes me happy to have a Crash Pad membership. If all porn was like this, I think a lot more women would understand what the hype was about.

Review: Tantus Mark O2

Kate Sloan

When the Tantus Mark O2 showed up at my house and I took it out of its packaging, I was creeped out. Holding it in my hands, I couldn’t escape the feeling that I was holding my boyfriend’s disembodied cock. Because seriously, the Mark’s dimensions are almost identical to those of my favorite human dick. And that, actually, is why I requested this toy.

See, I have a small-to-average-sized vagina, and Mark is an average-sized dildo. Not “average” in dildo-land, you understand, but in the realm of actual, real-life cocks. With an insertable length of 5 ½" and a diameter of 1 3/8", this dildo is an homage to the Average Joes of the world, and for that, I have to applaud Tantus.

Mark is from Tantus’s O2 line, which means it’s made of dual-density silicone – firm on the inside, squishy on the outside. It’s tons o’ fun to squeeze and fondle, just like a real cock. I have two other O2 dildos, Adam and Flurry, and they’re all excellent quality. If you want a body-safe toy that actually feels somewhat real, it’s hard to go past O2 (though, to be fair, I haven’t had the chance to try VixSkin yet).

Mark’s head isn’t very pronounced, but there is a realistic coronal ridge running around the bottom edge of it. The veins on the shaft are more noticeable aesthetically than tactilely – I can barely feel them in use.

This isn’t a G-spotting dildo. If you want G-spot lovin’ in an O2 toy, I suggest you pick up the Adam because it does a much better job of that. Mark is more about creating a sensation of fullness (for those of us who can actually be filled up by a 5 ½" x 1 3/8" dick, anyhow) than it is about hitting magic spots. I can get it to reach my A-spot when I thrust deeply with my knees bent, just like my boyfriend’s actual dick does, and that’s nice but not anything to write home about.

This dildo surprised me and earned a spot in my top drawer, because it feels great and I can have blended orgasms with it easily… but I don’t know if that means other people will like it. I feel I have a particular affinity for it, because of how much it reminds me of my love, and that’s obviously not a good criterion if I’m going to recommend this toy to anyone else. You might like Mark if you have a smaller vagina that likes smaller toys, or if you’re a trans* guy, boi, and/or harness-user in search of a truly average member. But if you crave something bigger, or you need G-spot attention, look elsewhere – Mark ain’t your boy.

5 Books That Have Shaped My Sexuality

Kate Sloan

I don’t read as many books as I’d like to. This is partially due to the fact that I spend zillions of hours a day on the internet, reading blogs and articles and other web resources. Still, though, I owe a lot to the books that I’ve read on sexuality, and I wanted to profile some of them today.

1. Butch Is a Noun (S. Bear Bergman)

Bear is perhaps my all-time favorite queer author. At the time that he wrote Butch is a Noun, he still identified as a butch and used gender-neutral pronouns (he’s since started identifying as a trans man and uses male pronouns now, from what I’ve seen). Bear visited my high school at one point and read aloud from Butch at one of the first Queer-Straight Alliance meetings I ever attended, and I was immediately enthralled. His writing is richly descriptive and often hilarious. This book helped me refine my ideas and fantasies about what I, as a queer femme, am looking for in a partner: a chivalrous, old-fashioned gentleman (though not necessarily male-bodied or male-identifying), who is nonetheless well-versed in new and progressive ideas about gender and sex.

2. Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships (Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá)

The “polyamory bible” used to be The Ethical Slut, but ever since Sex at Dawn came along, it’s pretty much reigned supreme in poly circles. It presents countless fascinating arguments for the idea that monogamy doesn’t come naturally to humans, using plenty of evolutionary psychology and bonobo research to prove its central point. This one is definitely worth a read if you’re interested in delving into consensual non-monogamy or have already made that plunge.

3. The Vagina Monologues (Eve Ensler)

In a world that shames, commodifies, and minimizes vaginas, it’s unspeakably refreshing that a play like this could get so popular and be talked about so often in the public eye. This piece is a must-read if you, like so many of us, suffer from vagina shame, or just don’t think about your lady-parts all that often (although, if you’re reading this blog, I doubt that’s an issue of yours). I also encourage men to read this, if just to gain some perspective on the pussy.

4. O: The Intimate History of the Orgasm (Jonathan Margolis)

I’ve never heard another person talk about this book. It’s just not very well-known, which is a shame, because it’s brilliant and quite possibly my favorite book on the topic of sex. Margolis, with a surprisingly balanced and empathetic attitude for a straight cis guy, leads us through the history of the human orgasm. Of particular interest is his in-depth description of the Victorian era’s stuffy attitudes about sex, which hid all the suppressed, lascivious shit that was going on under the surface. His main hypothesis is that testosterone has been the most influential hormone in our history, and he may well be right.

5. Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation (Elissa Stein and Susan Kim)

As you might expect from a book about menstruation written by two women, this book has a serious feminist bent and leans heavily toward anti-establishment. Stein and Kim write about the male fear of menstrual blood, the various products that have been invented to make it disappear (often at the risk of women’s health), and alternatives to these sometimes crippling “solutions.” Definitely a book for the hippie-mama within, but still a great read if you’re tired of the world telling you to stuff a “dry wad of fuckin’ cotton”* up your vag every month.

*This is a quote from The Vagina Monologues about tampons. Yet another reason to read it.

Review: Njoy Pure Plug (Medium)

Kate Sloan

When it comes to butt plugs, I have a bit of a Goldilocks complex. The Pleasure Plug 1 and Ripple felt too small and slid out too easily. The Ryder and Dipper felt too big and required me to be warmed up before I could insert them. I’ve been searching for a plug that’s somewhere in the middle – large enough to stay in and be noticeable, but small enough to go in without a fuss. And I’ve finally found it in the gleaming, stainless steel, medium Njoy Pure Plug.

I chose the medium size because it measures 1 ¼" in diameter, exactly halfway between my too-small 1" toys and my too-large 1 ½" ones. I think the medium is an okay size for a beginner, especially considering how smooth and dragless steel is. If your ass is really tight and virginal, go for the small, but ambitious beginners should buy the medium right off the bat because they’ll be less likely to outgrow it in a snap.

As with all Njoy products, my Pure Plug arrived in a black wooden box covered by an elegant white slipcover that displays the company name and a silhouetted illustration of the toy inside. The wooden box contains a styrofoam cut-out of the toy, covered in hot pink satin, so that the toy fits perfectly in its allocated spot. Njoy’s packaging looks classy as hell, but it’s actually one of the few things that disappoints me about the brand – the satin is cheap and the styrofoam falls apart if you’re even a little bit rough with it. Sad trombone!

The plug itself is gorgeous, however. It’s made of high-quality stainless steel that won’t tarnish, even if you neglect to clean it for days. The steel is smooth and perfect all the way around (well, mine has a tiny bump on the inside of the handle, but that’s a fluke). It’s heavy for its size, as you’d expect from steel, so it feels totally luxe in the hand and in the butt.

Like glass, steel doesn’t need as much lube as a draggy material like silicone does. I prefer to use only a couple drops of lube (any kind – silicone-based is great for anal play) with my Pure Plug, because if I use too much, it warms up and drips out of me, making me feel like I’ve soiled myself. Not a pleasant experience. In fact, in a pinch, I can actually just spit on this plug and that’ll be enough lubrication to get it to go in, though I don’t recommend this!

Another benefit of steel over silicone is that it doesn’t retain any ass smell, the way silicone has been known to do. A quick wash with soap and water gets this plug very clean and makes it smell as good as new.

Once inserted, it feels fantastic. Weighty enough to be detectable at all times, without feeling like it’s going to slip out. Bulbous enough for me to feel sufficiently filled up, without preventing me from using another toy vaginally if I want to. The steel warms up to my body temperature and eventually gets to a point where it feels like it’s warmer than my body. It’s a very sexy sensation and I often find myself getting turned on while just wearing this plug around the house.

The plug’s handle is flawlessly designed, at least for me. Widthwise, it’s practically flat, so it sits between my cheeks obediently and comfortably – but lengthwise, it’s definitely long enough to assure me that it won’t slip inside. And there’s a finger hole which allows for easy insertion and removal.

I tried this plug during sex and found that it didn’t really work for me, mainly because I’m so small down there that there just isn’t enough room for an intermediate plug and my boyfriend’s cock. The plug kept wanting to turn sideways to make more room for the intrusion. But if you’ve got more space in your trunk, this would probably be a great plug to add to your partnered sexytimes.

So if you want a comfortable, high-quality plug for long-term wear, I can’t recommend the Pure Plug highly enough. Check out the measurements, choose the right size for you, and you won’t be disappointed: this is a wonderful, satisfying plug that’s just as nice to stare at as it is to clench around.