Sex Toy Reviews

A Dildo Made to My Exact Specifications? Yes Please!

Kate Sloan
Triarx on the left, customized version on the right

There have been several exciting landmarks in my career as a sex toy reviewer. The first time I made my own dildo was one. The first time I got sent to an industry trade show was another. More recently, I got an email from West at the Pleasure Tailor, asking me if I wanted to try a version of their Triarx dildo… that was modified to my exact specifications. Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse!

You might remember the Pleasure Tailor from the time I designed my own dildo for them, which you can buy here. It’s called the Easy A and is designed to hit the A-spot – my favorite internal erogenous zone – while also being easy to hold and thrust with, even if you have strength/mobility issues in your hands, as I do.

A really wonderful thing about the Pleasure Tailor is that they let you customize any of their toys to suit your exact needs. Among the alterations they offer are size, color, firmness, finish, and how rigid or thick the core of the dildo is. So if, for instance, you liked my Easy A design but wanted one that was shorter, matte, or bright red instead, they could do that for you. Their company is aptly named because it reminds me of all the best experiences I’ve had with actual tailors. I went in with a garment that was ill-fitting and made me feel bad-to-meh about myself, and when I picked up the altered design a week or two later, it inevitably made me look and feel like a new woman – a hot woman, to be exact!

Likewise, the Pleasure Tailor can make you the dildo of your dreams. Let me tell you about the most recent thing they made for me.

Image via the Pleasure Tailor – standard Triarx on the right, modified version on the left

What is the Triarx and what modifications were made to it for me?

The Triarx is a realistic dildo designed by Felicity of Phallophile Reviews. Felicity has been reviewing toys for years, and her write-ups are so thorough and informative that I often reference them when I’m writing about particular toys or deciding whether I want to try a new toy that’s just been released.

As the name of her blog would suggest, she’s really into dildos – so of course, the one she designed with the Pleasure Tailor is a beaut. It’s made to be hyper-realistic, with lifelike veins and ridges that any cock aficionado can appreciate. It’s made of triple-density silicone, which means that it has a firm core and two progressively squishier layers of silicone around that, for a feeling that’s remarkably close to a flesh-and-blood dick. It’s got a suction-cup base for hands-free use, and even has a prominent “vein” running along the top of the shaft that’s designed to hit your clit while you thrust.

I adore realistic dildos, when I’m in the mood for them (which is often), and this one is on par with my faves from Vixen Creations and Tantus in terms of quality, realism and pleasure.

West at the Pleasure Tailor had the brilliant idea to send me a Triarx as well as a custom-modified version of the same toy, so I could compare the two. He made the following changes for my modded Triarx:

  • Lengthened the toy from 6.5 to 7 inches of insertable length, to enable it to hit the A-spot
  • Made the head slightly slimmer/more tapered so it can nestle into the A-spot more easily without bumping my cervix uncomfortably
  • Intensified the curve at the tip for more targeted A-spot action
  • Removed the veins (I’ve got nothing against texture on a dildo, necessarily; it’s just not something I crave or get much additional pleasure from)
  • Decreased the dragginess of the silicone by making it smoother
  • Made the firm core thicker so the whole dildo feels more rigid
  • Added a small tab of silicone to the base that lines up with the top side of the toy, so I’ll always know if it’s oriented correctly while it’s inside me

I hope this gives you an idea of the types of modifications you can request from the Pleasure Tailor, because they really are terrific. They can turn a dildo that’d work okay for you into one that might just become your new fave.

Triarx on the left, customized version on the right

My experience with the Triarx

The original Triarx, I have to say, is pretty great. It’s not entirely my cup of tea, for reasons I’ll get into, but I think a lot of people would enjoy it. Its diameter is 1.75″ – midway between the formidable VixSkin Mustang (1.5″) and Maverick (2″) – so it gives me a pleasantly “filled-up” feeling without requiring several minutes of warm-up.

It’s a very G-spot-focused dildo, as it was designed to be. I could definitely squirt with it if I thrusted it hard and fast enough, for long enough. I can push it deeper inside me and it will hit my A-spot to some extent, but it feels a bit awkward trying to jam something so thick into that petite nook in front of my cervix.

The triple-density silicone is incredibly fun to squeeze on; it feels like a stress ball. This dildo’s squishiness-to-rigidity ratio is perfect for intensifying my orgasms; I can distinctly feel every orgasmic contraction but they never feel like pain mixed with pleasure, as they can sometimes if I’m using a super-firm dildo.

The vein meant to hit the clit stands no chance of hitting mine, though. I would have to bend the dildo so far in that direction that its tip would be poking the wall between my vag and butt, which isn’t a sexy sensation for me. But it’s a cool idea and I imagine it’d work for some people, especially those whose clit is closer to their vaginal opening than mine is. And the vein does help me orient the dildo/keep it upright inside me, because it’s visually evident even while most of the toy is inside me.

Speaking of veins, the overall texture of this dildo – while I’m sure it would make some people very happy – doesn’t really work for me. No matter how much lube I drizzle on, it overstimulates my vaginal walls and gives me a slightly uncomfortable “been fucked hard” feeling. I know some people are into that, though.

Triarx on the left, customized version on the right

My experience with my modified Triarx

As soon as I inserted this custom-modified version of the Triarx into my vag, I noticed how much better it felt for me. The smooth silicone felt like heaven against my vaginal walls compared to the roughness of the original Triarx’s veins. The tip slid easily into my A-spot right away, with minimal effort on my part. I could tell that my spot was being hit more directly because I felt that familiar “oh yes” rightness that always accompanies the moment of a partner touching my A-spot for the first time in a session.

Because the shaft gets slightly thicker the more you insert it, this modded version still feels very filling and satisfying, and is a delight to come on. The orgasms with this toy are no better and no worse than those with the original Triarx, just different: they feel like they happen deeper inside me, because of all the A-spot stimulation going on, but it’s also not quite as pleasurable to squeeze on the modded version because it’s less squishy. You win some, you lose some. (A dildo this long would be hard to maneuver if it was squishier.)

I can hit my G-spot with the modified Triarx too, if I thrust it more shallowly. But I tend to prefer firmer G-spot stimulation, so I don’t often reach for realistic dildos for this purpose anyway.

Overall this is one of the better A-spot dildos I’ve tried, which is funny because the dildo it’s based on wasn’t an A-spot dildo at all! That just goes to show how clever the folks at the Pleasure Tailor are at making your erogenous zones’ dreams come true.

 

Final thoughts

The original Triarx is good, but my modified version – for my particular body, anyway – is spectacular. It’s optimized for A-spot stimulation while retaining all the qualities I loved in the original.

It’s also a testament to the wonders of human creativity – and a love letter to A-spotty dicks. Basically, I adore it – and I think that if you want a dildo to be modified to suit your anatomy and preferences as closely as possible, you’ve absolutely gotta check out the Pleasure Tailor.

 

This review was not sponsored; I just genuinely think the Pleasure Tailor is doing cool shit and deserves to be hyped up. Of course, the dildos were sent to me free of charge, but as ever, all writing and opinions in this post are my own.

Review: Bombex Butterfly Desire Vibe Pro

Kate Sloan

Does anyone else remember when butterflies were all the rage in the sex toy industry, circa 2008-2009? First there were rabbits; then, suddenly, everyone was talking about butterflies.

The main one I remember was a wearable, remote-control butterfly-shaped vibrator that my friend-with-benefits owned around that time, but there were also dual-stimulation vibes and even cock rings made to look like butterflies. Not really sure what made this particular insect a sudden sex symbol. I do know that Jason Mraz has a whole song where he keeps referring to a vulva as a butterfly, though, and that my own vulva kinda resembles one when my labia are spread apart, so maybe that has something to do with it…

Anyway, today I’m reviewing the Bombex Butterfly Desire Vibe Pro, another beautiful butterfly-shaped product. It’s a dual-stimulation toy: the outer portion (the “butterfly” itself) uses pressure-wave technology to stimulate your clit, while the inner arm, when inserted vaginally, transmits vibration into your G-spot. Let’s talk about some of the benefits and drawbacks of this little bug…

 

Things I like about this toy:

  • The vibration of the internal arm is decently rumbly and strong, even on the first setting. There are three steady speeds and I’ve gotten off on the first one before, which is pretty impressive. The vibrations stay rumbly through all three speeds. I feel like I should have more to say about this, because it’s one of the most important qualities of any vibrator and Bombex got it very right here – but all I really have to say is that it’s rumbly and good and I like it!
  • The shape of the internal arm is such that it can hit my G-spot fairly easily, and feels great doing so. I love that it’s got a swollen head and a slightly slimmer shaft, because this makes its sensations more discernible to my G-spot and also makes it so that I can sort of fuck myself hands-free with the toy by clenching and unclenching my PC muscles rhythmically.
  • That last point is worth expounding upon more: this is a toy that stays inside me pretty well, even when I’m using it hands-free, but nonetheless will gently move back and forth against my body if I rhythmically squeeze my pelvic muscles. For me, this quality makes it way easier for me to orgasm with a dual-stimulation toy, because the additional motion on top of the vibration (+ in this case, pressure waves) makes the whole toy feel more stimulating.
  • The shape and size of the clitoral stimulator work well for me. It can’t stimulate as much of my clit as the large-mouthed Lelo Sila, but at least it doesn’t focus uncomfortably on the exposed tip of my clit like so many other toys of this kind. There’s a soft rim of silicone around the opening that makes the sensation feel gentler but no less pleasurable.
  • It’s made of body-safe silicone and ABS plastic!
  • It’s waterproof!
  • It has a remote control! Unfortunately I could not test this component because I had to fly to New York midway through working on this review and forgot the remote at home, but in theory I think it’s a great idea for a toy like this to have a remote. It makes it so that you can control the intensity without needing to reach into your pants/underwear every time (should you be wearing any), which could make this toy useful for public play.

Things I don’t like about this toy:

  • You can’t control the toy’s two functions separately. I know I complain about this in almost every dual-stimulation toy review I write, but if a toy does two different things to two different body parts, you should really be able to control each component individually, since different body parts don’t always want the same kinds of stimulation at the same time. On this toy, both functions are controlled in tandem by one button.
  • The outer portion of the toy has very little flexibility, which makes it so that if you have a particularly long or particularly short distance between your clit and vaginal opening, you might not be able to comfortably use both parts of the toy at the same time. (The distance from the middle of the clit stimulator to the top of the vaginal shaft is about 1.25″.)
  • Three steady speeds is not really enough. Granted, I’m generally not a fan of vibration patterns – but setting that aside, the fewer steady speeds a toy has, the bigger the jumps between each speed are likelier to be. Moving up to the next speed often feels jarring and takes me out of the moment a little, rather than encouraging higher and higher levels of arousal.
  • Having only one button means you have to scroll through all 10 settings to get back to a previous one. This is bad news for anyone who, like me, tends to turn the vibrations up and down a lot during any given session to help prevent overstimulation.
  • The vibrations feel stronger/rumblier/more impactful than the clitoral pressure waves, so sometimes all I can really feel is the vibration. However, I still get enough clit stimulation that I can come with this toy easily if I’m watching porn or otherwise engaging my brain in some sexy stuff.
  • As with most other pressure-wave toys, this one can make me orgasm easily but the orgasms aren’t always the most satisfying, and are sometimes immediately overtaken by discomfort as the toy keeps sucking my clit while I get hypersensitive post-orgasm.

Final thoughts:

There’s a lot I don’t understand about this toy. Why is it a butterfly? What are the wings and antennae supposed to do?* Why is there an illustration in the instructions that seems to indicate you can use the pressure-wave component on a partner’s penis while they’re fucking you?!

Overall though, I think the Bombex Butterfly Desire Vibe Pro is a good value for its price point ($60), assuming you want a dual-stimulation toy with pressure waves and the distance between your clit and vaginal opening is in range for this one to work for you.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

*When reached for comment, a representative at Bombex told me, in response to these questions: “Women are like butterflies, representing beauty, freedom, rebirth and goddess. Women are like a butterfly, her wings unfolded. Sucking and vibrating at the same time. Stimulating the clitoris and G-spot to give you out-of-this-world orgasms. Women like butterflies. The color of the red rose symbolizes romance, love, beauty and courage. The antenna flirts with your secret desire. The two eyes turn into usb port for long-lasting pleasure and can be quickly recharged. They shimmer and glow in the moonlight and almost seem to come alive. Women are like butterflies. People say a butterfly cannot see the color of its own wings. Cannot see how beautiful they really are. We are butterflies. Even if you can not see it. Even if you can not see how beautiful you really are. Just know that BOMBEX MAKES YOU FEEL BOMB AF!” [sic]

Review: Magic Wand Mini

Kate Sloan

The Magic Wand franchise turns 54 this month. Yep! Can you believe it? In 1968, around this time, a vibrator was being launched that no one knew was going to change the world. In fact, it seems that no one knew it was even a vibrator; for decades after its launch, the toy’s makers, Hitachi, still insisted it was merely a “body massager.”

Brief primer on Hitachi Magic Wand history (which someone should really pay me to write a book about one of these days – don’t think I haven’t pitched it!): While officially billed as a non-sexual device, the Magic Wand’s popularity for pleasure first picked up steam in the late great Betty Dodson’s legendary masturbation workshops, so I’ve been told. The story goes (and I believe it to be true) that she would hand out wands to each workshop participant when the time came, and that many of them had their lives changed in an instant by their first taste of genital vibration. In the years since, the Magic Wand has gained nicknames like “the Cadillac of vibrators,” has showed up in countless porn videos (especially those featuring queer performers), and has become one of the most instantly recognizable vibrators in the world.

There was some drama around 2015 when Hitachi almost pulled the plug (so to speak) on producing the wand anymore. I don’t know why for certain, but I’ve been told by sources in the know that the company is relatively conservative and didn’t like having their name associated with a world-famous sex toy. An American sex toy distributor called Vibratex, then best known for their Rabbit Habit vibrator which was featured in a memorable episode of Sex & the City, stepped in and offered to take over marketing and distribution of the wand. They also overhauled the mechanics, making the toy safer (it had previously been known to overheat or even burst into flames) and adding a rechargeable version to the lineup but otherwise leaving it as close to the original as possible. As far as I’m aware, still to this day, the wand is physically produced by Hitachi but officially it is a Vibratex product.

(If you’re wondering why I know all this, it’s because in my last year of journalism school, they let me spend a semester writing a feature story on anything I wanted, and I wrote it on the Magic Wand. In the process, I interviewed, among other people, Vibratex’s VP and several people who had owned multiple wands, having immediately bought a new one when their old one died. Some interviewees even allowed me to sit in on real-life sex or masturbation sessions where they used their wands; I sat in the corner fully clothed with a notebook and pen, rapt. Truly don’t know why my professors let me do this but hey, it led me here.)

Anyway, I bring this up because there’s a new member of the Magic Wand family: the Magic Wand Mini. And it’s fucking ADORABLE.

Before we get into pros and cons, let’s briefly go over the basic differences between the Mini and the other versions, so we know what we’re talking about here.

  • The Magic Wand Mini is rechargeable, like the Magic Wand Rechargeable. It does not plug into the wall like the Magic Wand Original or Magic Wand Plus (except when it’s charging, obviously).
  • The original wand is around 12″ long; the Mini is only 9.6″ long.
  • Of course, it’s also lighter – 9.7 oz, which is less than half of what the other wands weigh.
  • The Magic Wand Mini’s head is made of silicone, like that of the Magic Wand Rechargeable and Magic Wand Plus – as opposed to being made of porous vinyl (which is a health hazard and also just gross), like that of the Magic Wand Original.
  • The Mini uses a different charger than the Magic Wand Rechargeable.
  • The Mini does not have vibration patterns, as the Magic Wand Rechargeable does – it only has steady speeds.
  • The Mini has 3 different vibration speeds, as opposed to the Original which has 2, and the Rechargeable and Plus, which both have 4.
  • Unlike the Rechargeable, the Mini cannot be used while it’s charging – so if your wand dies mid-session, you’re out of luck. It has battery life indicators though.

Okay, now let’s talk about what I actually think of this vibrator, shall we?

 

Things I like about this vibrator

  • First of all, I have to commend Vibratex for keeping the exact same aesthetic and basic proportions as the original wand, just in miniaturized form. I truly cannot overstate how cute this toy is. It’s like if someone made a Magic Wand for a doll. (Uhhh, that actually sounds like a very kinky dollification scene I need to do, like, yesterday.) It might not have quite the same appeal if you’ve never seen an original Magic Wand in person, but every sex toy nerd to whom I’ve showed this toy has shouted “IT’S SO CUUUUUTE!!” because it really fucking is.
  • The first speed of this toy rules. Vibratex should be very proud of this speed; as far as vibration speeds go, it is primo. It’s got a lot of rumble to it, and is strong enough to get me off easily on an average day, provided I use it in ways that work for me (more on that below). There are very few vibrators that can comfortably make me come on their lowest speed; one of the only other ones is the Magic Wand Rechargeable. So, at least on this one speed, Vibratex has succeeded in evoking a full-size wand experience in a smaller package. The rumbliness is such that I can definitely feel it in my internal clit, whether I’m holding it on the external part or even just my outer labia. This leads to orgasms every bit as intense – and almost as reliable and easy to achieve – as those I expect from other Magic Wands. I should note here, though, that I’m not a person who commonly uses wildly strong vibrators on high settings to get off. I think diehard fans of true power would be vastly disappointed by this toy (more on that in the “things I dislike” section).
  • One of my fundamental problems with full-size Magic Wands is that they cause some temporary numbness if I leave them in one place for a while. I prefer to move them around my vulva, staying in one spot for a minute or two and then packing up and moving on like a circus runaway. Granted, this is true of most vibrators, but it becomes more obvious with big wands because they’re so heavy that moving them around becomes a chore. But the Magic Wand Mini is much more nimble, and it makes a noticeable difference: I can move it around my inner and outer labia, come at my clit from various different angles, use it to stimulate my vaginal opening or perineum, etc. and my arm doesn’t get tired. As a person with chronic pain and strength issues in my hands/arms, I really appreciate that the wand is less than half the weight of the original.
  • When I use a regular-size Magic Wand, I usually tilt it so that only the corner/edge of the head is against my bits. This is because I like more pinpointed clit stimulation than the full width of the head can offer. The Magic Wand Mini is sufficiently small that I don’t really have to do this, and can target specific areas of my vulva as needed.
  • The smaller form factor would also make this toy better for using during PIV, I suspect. (Tragically, I cannot find out at the moment because my partner is 500 miles away from me.) I do notice that the vibrations are slightly dampened when pressure is applied to the head of the toy – which, incidentally, may also be an issue for people who like to push vibrators very firmly against their body – but it’s not so much as to cause problems for me. I’d still be likelier to use this in rear-entry positions, though, because wands – however petite and adorable – are just not well-suited for missionary.
  • Speaking of my partner being 500 miles away from me – I do a fair amount of travel (or did, when there wasn’t a pandemic happening), so I appreciate a wand I can comfortably fit in a purse or small suitcase. I think this would be a terrific vibe for hotel sex.
  • The buttons are super intuitive. There’s a power button and “plus” and “minus” buttons, which all do what you’d expect them to do. They make a satisfying click when pressed, but require just enough force to do so that I never press one accidentally. Kudos, Vibratex.
  • There’s some flexibility in the neck, similar to the amount offered by the Rechargeable. I’d still be worried I’d break it if I bent it too far, but it flexes enough to be comfortable when you’re applying pressure. This isn’t super important to me because I don’t apply much pressure when I use vibrators, but I know a lot of people feel strongly about this.

Things I don’t like about this vibrator

  • It has to be said: the vibrations are not as powerful or as rumbly as you may be used to if you’re a Magic Wand fan. The first setting is excellent, but the other two are pretty disappointingly buzzy – so, even though they supposedly have the same RPM (revolutions per minute) as the original wand, they just don’t feel as impactful and can cause temporary numbness. I think this probably has a lot to do with the smaller size of the toy, not just the motor.
  • Like all the Magic Wands, it’s kind of loud. It’s certainly quieter than the high settings of any other Magic Wand, but it has a shrillness to its tone that makes the noise seem louder somehow, even if, decibels-wise, it’s not. I don’t like using this vibe late at night, for example, lest it disturb my roommate… through a wall. (I have anxiety and some past trauma around being punished for being disruptively noisy, though, so take this with a big ol’ grain of salt.)
  • This wand won’t work with most classic Magic Wand accessories/attachments, because of its smaller size. Some companies do make attachments for smaller wands, though. Those made for the Le Wand Petite or the Mystic Wand, for example, should fit the Magic Wand Mini, albeit maybe slightly tightly or loosely.
  • I miss being able to use the toy while it’s charging, like you can with the Magic Wand Rechargeable.

 

Final thoughts

I’ve tried a bunch of smaller wands – including the buzzy-AF Le Wand Petite and the gorgeous Bodywand Midnight – and the Magic Wand Mini certainly ranks as one of the best. Vibratex and Hitachi clearly both care about vibration quality and have tried to make a smaller toy that still does the Magic Wand name proud, by prioritizing motor quality and strength above any extraneous bells and whistles.

It just seems that the smaller size and lighter weight of the Mini make its vibrations feel too buzzy on the higher end of the speed spectrum. I might use one of those two higher speeds as a “finisher” – there are times when it takes a dash of buzz to push me over the edge – but the first speed is really the only one that satisfies me in the way that Magic Wands usually do. It’s a damn good speed, but it wouldn’t be strong enough for true power aficionados, who’d be better off sticking with full-size wands.

I would pick up the Magic Wand Mini instead of a larger wand if I was having a pain flare-up or just feeling lazy, because it’s much easier to maneuver around my vulva. I’d also reach for it if I wanted a wand to use during penetrative sex. I would not, however, use it if I was craving a lot of power or a lot of rumble – the Magic Wand Rechargeable is still king for that. But, I mean, look at this cute little wand. It’s doing its best. And I think its best is pretty decent.

 

Thanks to LuxuryVibrators.ca for sending me this product to review! This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Bubblefunny Bubble Flower Beauty

Kate Sloan

As a big fan of receiving cunnilingus (what a great way to start a blog post), I have tried many an oral sex simulator in my time.

They have licked and flapped and sucked, some skilfully, some less so. But I never give up hope that the next one will be the one that really does feel like getting head from a talented and enthusiastic lover. It hasn’t happened yet, but hey, tomorrow is a new day.

That said, this latest addition to my collection of cunnilingus simulators – the Bubblefunny Bubble Flower Beauty – actually surprised me with how close it got to feeling like the real thing.

(There’s a coupon code at the end of this post incase you want to buy your own, FYI!)

 

What is the Bubble Flower Beauty and what does it do?

The whimsically-named Bubble Flower Beauty is a dual-stimulation toy: there’s a mechanized silicone tongue on one end, and a phallus on the other end that thrusts and vibrates; between the two is a flexible silicone cord.

Bubblefunny recommends various different uses for it, including slipping the thruster into your vag while the tongue teases your butthole, but I think the main usage the toy designers had in mind was probably having the tongue stimulate the user’s clit while the thruster pleasures their G-spot. (That’s the only way I chose to test this toy, anyway. I’ve got nothing against rimjobs, I just didn’t want one from a robot.)

 

Things I like about this toy:

  • Firstly and most importantly, I actually love the tongue. It’s made of soft silicone with just enough flexibility to feel comfortable and just enough firmness to feel impactful. (Cunnilinguists-in-training, take note.) I won’t say it feels like a real human’s tongue, both texturally and size-wise, but it is in that general neighborhood of sensations. It starts at a pretty fast speed – like, way faster than any partner of mine would ever start licking me – but it slows down slightly with pressure, which I found actually felt better for me.
  • The design of the toy allows you to move the tongue around your clit while you’re using it, so you can stimulate the tip, the sides, the hood, etc. as your whims dictate. I strongly prefer indirect clitoral stimulation, so I love being able to switch up the toy’s location, turn it upside-down, and so on, to get the type of stimulation I’m craving. In some ways, I think that more advanced cunnilingus simulators have failed by trying to replicate the dynamic motions of a human; being able to hit the exact right spots yourself, exactly when you need to, can be better than having a machine try to guess where they are.
  • The orgasms actually remind me a lot of the orgasms I have from real oral sex. There’s a similar slow build, and a similar sense of teetering on the precipice of coming for longer than usual before going over the edge. However, as with real cunnilingus, I find that this toy works best if I maximize my sensitivity before I use it, by taking a break from vibrators and/or orgasms for at least a day, shaving my pubes, holding my outer labia open, smoking weed, or some combination thereof. It’s not quite enough to get me off if I’ve had an orgasm recently or if I’ve used strong vibes in the past day or so.
  • Although there are only three steady speeds (more on that below), the tongue’s motions do get noticeably faster and harder when I click up to the next speed.
  • This toy is waterproof! Hooray!
  • It comes with a cute black velvet storage bag that doesn’t shed lint all over the toy, like cheap storage bags tend to do. Nice touch.

 

Things I don’t like about this toy:

  • The tongue often doesn’t quite feel powerful enough to get me off, especially since it slows down when pressure is applied to it. I find that I always have to either thrust against the toy or rub it up and down or in circles against my clit, or I won’t be able to get off. That said, sometimes I thrust my hips during actual cunnilingus for the same reason, so maybe it’s just authentic like that.
  • Both the tongue and the thruster only have three steady speeds, followed by seven patterns. As someone who uses steady speeds almost exclusively, I find this disappointing. And sometimes orgasm-ruining, if I hit a button by accident while already on the third steady speed.
  • Speaking of buttons, there are only two of them. Two is better than one in this case, certainly, but it’d be really great if it had four: an “increase intensity” button and a “decrease intensity” button for each part of the toy. I hate having to cycle through all the patterns to get back to the speed I was using before.
  • My preferred way to use the tongue is upside-down, because that way it’s licking downward on my clitoral hood, rather than flicking upward against the hypersensitive head of my clit. However, when used this way, the buttons are on the opposite side of the toy from you, which makes it tricky to hit the right one in the heat of the moment.
  • The thruster tends to slip out of me during use, especially if things are especially lubed-up down there. I would actually recommend using less lube than you normally would, or perhaps even none at all, on the thruster part of the toy, to give it a better shot at staying inside you.
  • The cord is just slightly too short (for my anatomy, anyway), so I often find myself accidentally tugging the thruster out of my vag while I’m adjusting the tongue.
  • The vibration of the thruster is pretty damn buzzy. I actually think I’d like the thruster better if it was just thrusting and not vibrating, since the buzzy-as-fuck vibration kind of mutes the sensation of thrusting. But you can’t separate the two in this toy; they’re a package deal.
  • So far as I can tell, once you’ve activated either part of the toy, there’s no way to turn it off without turning off the whole toy, which takes a few seconds. So, for example, if you decided mid-session that you wanted to shut off the thruster and just focus on the tongue, there would be no quick and easy way to do that.
  • You have to put a fuckton of lube on your vulva before you use the tongue, or it’ll feel like receiving head from a Tinder boy who’s baffled by vulvas and has a dry mouth from smoking too much weed. (Can neither confirm nor deny that this has happened to me.) When testing this toy, I’ve mostly used a coconut oil-based lube I’ve been loving lately, and I actually think natural oil-based lubes (if you’re not too prone to getting infections from them) are the best pick for this type of toy, because they won’t react poorly with silicone toys like silicone-based lubes do, and they won’t dry up every few minutes like water-based lubes do.
  • The product page says that this toy sucks and licks, but there is no sucking to speak of. I tried pressing the toy firmly enough against my vulva that it would have created a seal if any suction was indeed happening, and all it did was slow down the tongue enormously.

 

Final thoughts:

I know I had a lot of critical things to say about the Bubblefunny Bubble Flower Beauty, but it actually is one of the better oral sex simulators I’ve tried. It gets me off (usually), and the orgasms feel, if not as good as those that happen in my partner’s mouth, at least somewhere in that direction.

I wish the thruster portion of the toy had been executed better – it feels like an afterthought, with its buzzy vibrations and tendency to shimmy out of my vagina – but the tongue part of this toy is really the star of the show anyway. I would happily use a version of this toy that was just the tongue. Sometimes you just need a little oral action, and head from a silicone gadget is better than no head at all.

 

Thanks to Bubblefunny for sending me this toy to review! You can use the code “GJ20” to get 20% off anything on their website. Maybe you want a wand vibrator shaped like a person? Or perhaps a clitoral stimulator that looks like a moon? This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

The Lelo Sila is My Favorite Clit Pulsator Toy; the Lelo Sila Cruise is Not

Kate Sloan

I’m enamored with the Lelo Sila. It bears the label of “my favorite clit pulsator toy,” which is a tough label to earn. It’s also earned a spot in the top drawer of my nightstand. I mentioned it in an interview just today, actually, when someone asked me what toys I’ve been loving lately. This luxe stimulator is top-tier, as far as I’m concerned.

But Lelo is a company known for their terrible, gimmicky “innovations,” and in keeping with that, they recently introduced a new version of the Sila called the Sila Cruise. I dislike it so much that I’m not even gonna link to it. Buy the original Sila instead.

What’s so great about the Lelo Sila?

Most clit pulsators – think Womanizers and Satisfyers – focus predominantly on the tip of the clit. The Sila is the only one I’ve found that stimulates my entire external clit: the tip, the shaft, and the hood. This makes it an especially good pick for folks with larger clits and/or transmasculine folks with bottom growth, or just folks who like a roomier fit.

The Sila’s wide, flat “lips” help create a better seal around the clit than almost any other pressure-wave stimulator I’ve tried. They also conduct the Sila’s sensations through the skin and into the buried “legs” of the internal clit.

As a result of all this, the Sila provides more full-bodied clitoral sensations than any other toy I’ve tried of this type. It is a toy that puts all of its focus – and it has a lot of focus – on the clit. So, as a big fan of clitoral stimulation – especially the kinds that go past just the sensitive tip of my clit – I love this toy.

It also has a “rumblier” feel than many other pressure-wave toys, meaning each little airwave feels lower-pitched and more impactful. This significantly reduces any numbness or desensitization I might experience from using a clitoral toy for a while. Its stimulation is so rumbly, and yet so indirect, that I can have multiple orgasms with this toy – not something I’m usually capable of, at least not this easily.

The quality of the orgasms is much improved for me as well, because this toy stimulates much more of my clit than any other pressure-wave toy. Other toys of this type have sometimes given me ruined half-orgasms, or have stimulated me so intensely during orgasm that the experience was more painful than pleasurable; not so with this toy. The Lelo Sila gives me deep, intense, long-lasting, and often quite sudden orgasms that leave me speechless and panting.

What’s the difference between the Sila and the Sila Cruise?

So far as I can tell, the only addition to the Cruise is a “feature” known as Cruise Control. Lelo says that Cruise Control “reserves 20% of SILA™ Cruise’s full power during normal use, so that when SILA™ Cruise is pressed hard against the body and the motor begins to drop power, that extra 20% is unleashed so that there’s no reduction of intensity” before and during your orgasm.

There are… multiple issues with this. One is that I have never personally experienced my Sila slowing down or fading in power from the amount of pressure I’ve applied to it. It’s just not an issue I’ve encountered. So it’s kind of confusing that Lelo went to the trouble of launching a new version of their own toy, to solve a problem that (in my experience, anyway) the toy doesn’t even have.

Another issue is that not everyone wants maximal power right before or during their orgasm, and it’s weird to assume that they would. One of the beautiful things about Lelo toys is that they always have at least 8 different speeds, so they can satisfy a broad range of users, from super-sensitive folks to those who need more stimulation to get them off. The freedom to adjust sex toys to my own preferred intensity at any given moment is key to my pleasure. In fact, I would say it’s a mandatory feature of any vibe I’ll enjoy, and certainly a standard feature to expect on any toy that costs more than $15. Lelo has taken that freedom away from me with the Cruise – as they say, “it’s not a setting, it’s completely automatic,” so I can’t even turn it off and use the Sila Cruise normally without Cruise Control.

The third and most pressing issue I have with Cruise Control is that it doesn’t even do what it’s supposed to do. The boost in intensity doesn’t kick in when I press the toy harder against my body. No, instead it kicks in… whenever the hell it wants to. Often at a moment in my arousal process when I really, really wish my clit stimulator would stay at the exact same intensity so that I can, y’know, continue to feel good and build toward an orgasm, rather than having said orgasm be thwarted by an inconsistent toy.

It’s really a boner-killer when this happens, because the intensity that Cruise Control brings to the table is aggressive, especially if you’re accustomed to a lower speed – so my clit can get overstimulated to the point that a bruisey, ouchy sensation will linger for several minutes afterward. This is antithetical to the gentle, slow build that I appreciated about the original Sila.

The Sila Cruise is $189, whereas the original Lelo Sila is $169. They’re both definitely in the “luxury sex toy” price range, but the Sila Cruise is absolutely not worth that amount of money, because you can’t even control the damn intensity of it. It just jumps around randomly. It might as well be a poorly-wired $6.99 body massager from the Walmart bargain bin for how unreliable it is. I truly have no idea what on earth made Lelo think it was a good idea to not only make this toy but also to charge twenty extra dollars for it.

Final words

If you want full-bodied clitoral sensations that encompass your entire external clit and even stimulate some of the inner portions, you want the Lelo Sila. But you do not want the Lelo Sila Cruise, because you, presumably, do not want your orgasms ruined or your clit pummelled.

The Sila Cruise is not a “new and improved” version of the Sila. If anything, it is a “new and worsened” version of the Sila. It is “new and useless.” It is “new and painful.” It is “new and what the actual fuck.” But it is certainly not “new and improved.”

 

Thanks to Lelo for sending me these products to try! I really do mean it when I say that I love the original Sila and highly recommend it. But don’t get the Cruise. Just don’t.