Sex Toy Reviews

Review: We-Vibe Touch X

Kate Sloan

I actually shrieked at my screen when my sex toy reviewer pal Epiphora told our blogger group chat that We-Vibe was launching newly updated versions of the We-Vibe Tango and Touch. It was that exciting.

See, this duo of vibes has long been revered as some of the absolute best in the biz, but they’ve also always had problems that made them hard to recommend without reservations. Charging and battery life were the most egregious issues; I would get several emails a year from readers who loved their Tango but found that it kept dying prematurely, or wouldn’t charge right. As for me, I’ve owned at least 4 different Tangos over the years because mine kept biting the bullet (so to speak).

Those issues have been fixed now, and so have many others. Let’s dive in and talk about the We-Vibe Touch X, which my friends at TheVibed were kind enough to send me.

Of We-Vibe’s two legendary clit vibes, I’ve always preferred the Tango, because of the way its slim shape fits between my labia for super-easy clitoral shaft stimulation, and (even more importantly) the way its hard plastic body transmits its sharply rumbly vibrations so well. The Touch never really thrilled me as much, because – being made of silicone rather than plastic – its vibrations felt comparatively muted and softened. Many people consider this a feature rather than a bug, which is why I’ve often recommended the Touch to folks who find plastic vibes uncomfortably hard, or who have genital piercings, injuries, or other quirks that require a gentler approach. But in the past, I’ve pretty much never reached for my Touch unless my Tango’s battery was dead or I had misplaced it somewhere (probably at a Tinder hookup’s house). Those softened vibrations just don’t quite do it for me.

But that’s all different in the new iteration. We-Vibe retooled the Touch X’s motor so that the vibrations feel significantly closer to the surface now. They also feel specifically focused in the tip of the toy, so my fingers don’t get buzzed as much as they used to while I use it. Yay!!

The vibration quality now is a subcategory of “rumbly” that I think of as being like fast tapping. It’s similar to how the JeJoue bullet vibes feel: each individual “tap” can be discerned, at least on the lower speeds. It’s a satisfying sensation that makes the vibe feel less like a robot and more like a human being, at least in terms of how my clit responds to it. The vibrations get slightly buzzier as you move up through the toy’s 8 (!!) intensity levels, but they remain gratifyingly rumbly enough to get me off with ease. They also get pretty damn powerful – it’s possible that the Touch’s motor was always this strong, but the new redesign allows me to actually feel all those impressive vibrations transmitting through the silicone.

The shape of the Touch is a major selling point for its hardcore fans. It comes to a point at the tip, but it’s a point that has some squish, so you can press it hard into your clit without hurting yourself. It has a big “scoop” on the underside that would probably work great against a bigger clit or the frenulum of a penis, though I can’t really find a way to make it work with my particular genitals. More often than not, I end up doing with the Touch basically the same thing I do with the Tango: holding its slimmest edge against the side or top of my clit, so I get stimulation that is indirect but somewhat pinpointed. It works well for this, though I do find myself readjusting the Touch more than I need to with the Tango, and I find the Touch trickier to fit between bodies during penetrative sex (though it’s certainly better suited to this task than, say, any wand vibrator).

I love having 8 different speeds instead of 4; it makes it much less likely I’ll numb myself out by overstimulating my clit too soon in a session. I also adore the new addition of a “plus” and “minus” button so I can navigate between settings without having to loop back around to the beginning using one button, like the original Touch and Tango required. As a power user who loathes vibration patterns, I appreciate that they’re only accessible via a patterns button, which I never press, not even accidentally. If you do like patterns, I think you’ll dig the way their intensity can be turned up or down using the other buttons (all vibrators should have this feature!!). The buttons, blessedly, are all located in a place that feels intuitive for my hands, even when they’re hurting.

My one real complaint about the Touch X is that its “handle” end has some slightly abrupt edges that sometimes feel like they’re digging into my fingers a bit. This is a very minor issue, because they’re wrapped in silicone, which I think would cushion them plenty well enough for someone who doesn’t have chronically achy hands like I do. But it is enough of an issue that I’ll probably reach for the Tango X more often than the Touch X, for this reason in addition to some of the others previously mentioned.

I also don’t love that the silicone collects lint so quickly (as evidenced by the lint visible in the photos I took for this post, which persisted even after I spent a couple minutes trying to remove it all), but that’s basically par for the course with silicone.

Overall, though? Thank you, thank you, thank you to We-Vibe for updating these classic clit vibes in a way that will legit change people’s lives. Owning a vibrator that is rumbly and strong, yet ergonomic and accessible, is a game-changer – particularly at a reasonable price. The We-Vibe Touch X is a triumph, an instant classic, and a bedside staple. And when the pandemic is over, and we’re allowed to go places again, I’m sure it’ll accompany me on numerous trips in my handbag or suitcase, somehow even more charmingly versatile and useful than it was when I tried the original Touch so many years ago.

 

Thanks so much to my pals at TheVibed.com for sending me this product to try!

Lovense Toys Are Fucking Excellent

Kate Sloan

I wrote off Lovense for the longest time. I’m not really sure why. Maybe it’s the fact that they’re not carried by any of the online sex shops I work with, or the fact that almost none of my sex toy reviewer pals have written about them, to my knowledge. They’re not mentioned very often in the circles I run in – which is odd, because in the camming world, they’re hugely popular.

In fact, doing the work I do at my dayjob in adult-industry social media, I often have to pop into camgirls’ rooms to collect URLs and relevant personal descriptors while writing tweets to promote them – and I’ve noticed that the word “Lovense” is basically used interchangeably with “remote-controlled vibrator” on some of these platforms. Like the Kleenex of sex toys, Lovense has proven themselves so wildly good at what they do that they are thought of as the category itself, not just a part of that category.

I recently got my hands on some Lovense products because I was working on an article for the Insider about sex toys for long-distance couples (more on that soon). Here’s what all three of the Lovense toys I tried have in common:

  • Once they’re connected to the app on my phone, they stay connected for the entire duration of the session.
  • Controlling them with the Lovense Remote app is easy, fun, and (most importantly) fast. When I change a setting on the screen, it’s reflected immediately in the toy.
  • Their Bluetooth range is astonishing. The toys continued to respond pretty much instantaneously even when I was across the apartment from my phone, or in another room with the door closed.

You would think that these three qualities would be the most important ones in a Bluetooth-compatible sex toy, but actually, my experiences with We-Vibe and Lelo (among other brands) over the years have shown me that even top-tier companies can’t always get this right.

 

Let’s talk about some of the specific toys I tried:

The Lovense Lush 3 ($119) is an insertable vibrator made to stimulate the G-spot. It’s shaped to hit that spot really well, and has a wide variety of vibration intensities and patterns.

I’m not the biggest fan of G-spot vibration – it usually just feels mildly uncomfortable for me, and can only make me come in conjunction with clitoral stimulation, if at all – but the Lush still feels pretty good to me nonetheless. It’s a fun tease when my partner and I are watching porn together on the couch, and I imagine it’d work well for discreet public play once we’re able to go to restaurants and bars again. (The Lush is fairly quiet, but definitely audible in a silent room, so I wouldn’t wear it to, say, a museum.)

The Lush’s external arm, in which its powerful antenna is housed, could theoretically provide clitoral stimulation, depending on your anatomy – but for me, it just isn’t enough unless I’m physically pressing it against my clit. It’s too slim and floppy. If they fixed this issue, it’d work much much better for me and many other people – although at that point they’d basically be making a We-Vibe, which maybe they’d rather not do. In any case, the Lovense Lush 3 is a fantastic insertable vibrator for people who like a lot of G-spot sensation, and it’s the only vibe I’ve tried of its type that hasn’t had major connectivity issues.

The Lovense Max 2 ($99) is a high-tech stroker that incorporates vibration and suction-based “contractions,” both of which can be controlled using the Lovense app. The stroking itself can’t be controlled that way, and has to be done manually, but even without stroking the toy up and down at all, my partner found the other sensations it offers very satisfying. Specifically, they said that this toy feels the most like actual penetrative sex of any stroker they’ve tried (and, being married to a sex toy reviewer, they’ve tried more than their fair share!).

My one major complaint about this toy is that the internal sleeve is open-ended, so cum and lube inevitably get into the outer case, which then has to be cleaned. It’s also very loud, although that is usually par for the course with this type of toy, unfortunately. As a sometimes-voyeur, I don’t love that the exterior is opaque – I’d always prefer a clear view of the action, as with a see-through Fleshlight – but that’s really a small price to pay for the pleasure my partner gets from the Lovense Max 2.

Finally, probably my favorite of the three: The Lovense Edge 2 ($99) is a prostate vibrator that also has an external portion for stimulating the perineum at the same time. You can control each motor separately in the app.

At first my partner found that this toy kept slipping out during use, but then we learned that the toy’s angle is adjustable – so you can bend it to hit your prostate more effectively, and in the process, keep it anchored more securely inside you. I love this feature and wish more sex toys were this versatile, to account for differences in individual anatomy.

Orgasms from prostate stimulation alone are pretty rare for my partner – I think together we’d only previously achieved it via pegging – but this toy gave them one, and it wasn’t even that much work for me! I mostly just kept undulating the prostate vibration up and down in a wave-like pattern, which made them feel like I was fucking them. Their orgasm seemed super intense, and because of the toy’s app functionality, getting them off this way didn’t cause me anywhere near as much pain as thrusting a dildo for the equivalent amount of time would have. We will definitely be using the Lovense Edge 2 lots more in the future!

 

Have any of y’all tried Lovense toys? What did you think?

 

This post was not sponsored – I really do like these toys this much – but the links are affiliate links.

Review: Bestvibe Rhinoceros Horn Dildo

Kate Sloan

Bestvibe calls this dildo the Rhinoceros Horn, but I’ve looked at a bunch of pictures of rhinos in writing this review, and I feel I can definitively say: this thing is way closer to a tentacle than a rhino horn. But I know a lot of people are into that. (Is there a fetish subculture centered around horned animals being able to fuck people with their prehensile horns?! Almost certainly.)

This veiny, bumpy, blue and white silicone dildo caught my eye because it’s unlike anything else I’ve tried before. I’ve never been big into “fantasy dildos” the likes of which companies such as Bad Dragon make (in part because Bad Dragon is notoriously awful), but that’s for reasons more psychological than physical; many dildos of this type probably feel great, even if the thought of having sex with some kind of sentient sea creature (or rhinoceros) does nothing for me.

This dildo is a little over 7″ long. Its diameter gets as wide as 2.5″ toward the bottom, but the tip is a much more manageable size, so you can work your way up to its girthiest parts. The top side of the dildo is sparingly decorated with protruding “veins,” while the bottom side boasts three rows of super-stimulating bumps.

The silicone has a good amount of squish to it; I can bend the dildo in half with some effort. While this toy isn’t dual-density, the thickness of the silicone – especially toward the bottom – is such that it feels squishy on the surface and simultaneously firm enough to deliver a solid ramming. However, this silicone formulation also attracts lint and hairs constantly, and requires re-lubrication every so often during use.

While I wanted to like this dildo, it doesn’t quite work for my body. Theoretically it should be long enough to reach my A-spot – the main reason I use dildos these days – but even my seasoned vagina can’t comfortably take the girth toward the bottom of the toy’s shaft, so I have to choose between inserting it deeply enough to hit my spot or keeping it shallow enough to avoid irritating my vaginal opening. Using it on my G-spot is better, but it doesn’t have the firmness that spot craves, so the sensations are lacklustre.

If you’re a texture fiend, you’d probably enjoy this toy – but I find that the combination of extreme texture with extreme girth is just too much sensation for me. Getting pounded with this toy didn’t feel deliciously overwhelming like my partner fucking me with the Eleven or Double Trouble can; it just felt uncomfortable and slightly painful, unless they avoided thrusting the toy deep.

On the plus side, the base of this toy is a decently strong suction cup that also functions as a perfectly fist-sized concave cavity that makes it easy to thrust this toy by punching it, something my partner is very good at. They liked that the Rhinoceros Horn gave them enough leverage to fuck me hard and fast – I just wish my vagina could handle that much texture and girth so I could enjoy it more fully.

At $70, this dildo’s only gonna be a good investment for you if you really love thick dildos that have a lot of texture. I know there are a lot of people who want that kind of thing but don’t have $120+ to shell out on a huge Bad Dragon or Uberrime toy, in which case I think the Bestvibe Rhinoceros Horn could be a good substitute; the craftsmanship isn’t anywhere near as beautiful as those toymakers’, but with sex toys, usually you get what you pay for. As for me, this dildo didn’t quite make me feel… uh… horny.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning that I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this toy. As always, all writing and opinions are my own. Thanks to Bestvibe for supplying me with the toy!

Review: Osuga G-Spa

Kate Sloan

The Osuga G-Spa looks like a seal. But it’s a damn cute seal, one that can stand up on its own, like it’s looking out across the snow-dusted tundra, majestic and proud.

This toy isn’t just unique visually – it’s also pretty unusual mechanically. It’s a G-spot vibrator and pressure-wave clitoral stimulator in one, though unlike some other vibration/pressure-wave double-threats I’ve tried, you’re not meant to use both functions at once. (More on that later.) In fact, the Osuga website suggests you warm yourself up with vibration on your clit and then switch to the suction part once you’re ready. I love a multi-use toy that’s actually versatile and adaptable, rather than requiring you to employ all of its many uses at once!

 

My favorite thing about this toy is its clitoral stimulator portion – but then, I’m a clit girl at heart. The sonic pulses here feel different than some others I’ve tried – less like suction and more like deep, thrumming vibration. Osuga says this toy “stimulates every nerve from the surface to your very core,” and I have to agree – this is the kind of profound, rumbly pleasure that makes my clit pay attention.

It has three steady speeds, after which it loops back to the first one. I really appreciate this as someone who mostly hates patterns and usually skips over them. My favorite way to use the clitoral portion of this toy is hands-free, gripping the “seal’s” body between my thighs and gently undulating my hips to move my clit ever-so-slightly in and out of the “mouth.” The toy’s body has a shape and texture that allows for this, unlike some other pressure-wave toys I’ve tried, and it’s delightful.

 

Less delightful is the G-spot vibration portion. I like the shape – it’s flat with gently rounded edges, sort of like the Lelo Gigi, and very much the kind of thing my G-spot enjoys – but the vibrations themselves are only so-so: just slightly too buzzy for my tastes, and definitely not as satisfyingly rumbly as the clitoral part. I also don’t love that if you wanted to use a clit vibe in conjunction with this G-spot vibe, it’d have to be pretty small because the G-Spa is what my friend Epiphora refers to as a “vulva hog,” space-wise.

The size and shape of this toy make it best suited for solo play, in my view. Rear-entry penetrative sex positions would be fine, but front-to-front positions would be impossible if you were using this toy clitorally; it’s just too big. That said, I know I mentioned earlier that you’re not meant to use both the vibration and suction functions at once, but you actually could, depending on your anatomy and your partner’s anatomy. The suction part, theoretically, could go on one person’s clit while the vibrating part goes inside another person’s vagina or butt. It’d probably be unwieldy, but I appreciate that it’s an option, I guess!

The seal-esque shape of the G-Spa is surprisingly ergonomic for my achy hands. Both sides work decently well as handles, and the buttons are located in a place where I can reach them and discern between them easily but don’t often bump them by mistake. It’s also waterproof, in part because it charges magnetically, so I can take it into the tub any time for one of my beloved bathtime wanks.

 

The packaging of this toy is highly elegant and cute. It even comes with a super-soft, lint-free storage bag. The overall aesthetic is very millennial; it brings to mind words like “softboy” and “tenderqueer” and “twee.” Osuga’s other product won a Red Dot design award, and it’s obvious that they care about beauty as much as they care about pleasure.

In order to enjoy this toy, you’d have to adore both clitoral pressure-wave stimulation and G-spot vibration (but not at the same time). That’s a pretty specific set of needs – but if that description sounds like you, and you enjoy the G-Spa‘s adorable aesthetic, I think it’d be a good investment!

You can buy the Osuga G-Spa on their website. Right now, Osuga is offering my readers 10% off their order with the code GJ10 – just enter it at checkout!

 

This post was sponsored, which means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Guest Reviews for Penis-Havers: Fun Factory Manta, Satisfyer Men Vibration, Kink3D X-Lock Cobra

mb

Note from Kate: Here’s some sex toy reviews I asked Matt to write. Enjoy!

One of the benefits of dating (and then marrying) a sex toy reviewer like Kate, is that as her collection grows, so does mine. Sometimes it’s because brands send her toys that are designed for cocks, sometimes I buy them to use with her, and sometimes they’re gifts from my beloved! In this post, I want to highlight 3 toys that I’ve picked up recently that are useful if you’ve got a penis or access to one 😉

The Manta by Fun Factory ($140) is a rechargeable vibrating stroker that’s marketed as “a men’s toy for couples.” Welp, no men to speak of here, but this toy still works plenty well for me and my nonbinary dick.

The Manta has become my go-to vibrator since I purchased it as an upgrade to the Volta, which worked okay but wasn’t shaped quite as well for my particular penis. The Manta fits around the shaft of your dick (3 cm inner diameter), and it works just as well held stationary as it does as a stroker.

It’s a beautiful object and comes in 3 muted colors (I wish the black had been out when I purchased mine). The vibe is cleverly designed with two flexible wings that are ridged for stimulation and to distribute lube as you thrust, though they can take some work to clean.

Some of the most memorable blowjobs of my life have been enhanced by this toy thrumming against the base of my cock while Kate sucked the tip, but you can also use it solo, or to “turn your penis into a vibrator” during penetration. And if you prefer more pinpoint stimulation, you can gently pinch the wing tips around your frenulum for extra intensity.

The handle is looped, so it’s comfy to hold, the motor is powerful and rumbly, the controls are intuitive, the 6 speeds and 6 patterns can always get me off, it’s waterproof, and it’s got a travel lock. You love to see it. This is the perfect toy for someone who’s maybe tried a vibrator designed for clits and liked it, but wants something made with their body (if not gender) in mind.

A very different (but still unnecessarily gendered) take on the penis-vibrator is the Satisfyer Men Vibration ($50), which I won in the Smutathon. Satisfyer claims this enclosed, rechargeable vibrator “feels like a real blowjob,” which it most certainly does not. But that doesn’t mean it’s not pleasurable. The two motors in this toy and the tight black silicone sleeve work together to create powerful suction as the waves of vibration crash over the tip of your penis, occasionally making some hilarious noises in the process.

You can flip between the toy’s 3 speeds and 11 vibration patterns with the “+” and “−” buttons on the body, but as you increase the speed and intensity, you might find yourself wanting to thrust into the sheath as your erection grows. That’ll cause problems if you enjoy deeper stimulation like I do, because this toy only has an insertable length of 7 cm, so you’re limited to vibrating just the first few inches of your penis. Maybe that’s why Satisfyer calls this an “edging tool” rather than an orgasm tool, because that’s definitely what it’s best at.

The inside of the sleeve is wide, so it can easily accommodate a dick whether it’s erect or flaccid, but it also rapidly narrows toward the back to increase the stimulation on the most sensitive spots. With lots of lube, and some experimentation to figure out my preferred patterns, I’ve been able to reliably come with this toy, but the orgasms are never as satisfying as if my whole dick had been stimulated. So I tend to use this vibrator as it was intended: to tease and stimulate the tip of my cock for a while before I’m ready to come in something (or someone) else.

The Satisfyer Men Vibration is a good value if you’re especially into stimulation of the head of your penis, plus it’s waterproof, easy to clean, and carries a 15-year warranty. But if you’re looking for a toy that can quickly and consistently stimulate your entire cock to orgasm, you might not vibe with this one.

Not all the sex toys I own for my penis are about stimulating it; in fact, sometimes they’re about preventing stimulation altogether. Since reviewing the CB-6000 earlier this year, my chastity kink has only gotten bigger, as has my collection of cages. And if you spend even a few hours on chastity twitter, you’ll frequently see the same elegant black cock cage in photos. This cage is the Kink3D X-Lock Cobra ($155–$185), and it was generously sent to me by its maker, who’s an independent creator and active Redditor and Twitter user.

Kink3D cages are individually 3D-printed from hard nylon and nylon composites, so they‘re incredibly strong, light, and smooth. As with all chastity devices, sizing is particularly important, and there’s a detailed sizing guide here. I wear the size S+ cage with a size 2 ring, and it’s the best-fitting and most comfortable cage I own. Because of its open lattice design, it’s easy to wear the X-Lock long-term and maintain hygiene in the shower with just soap and water.

If you’re into tease and denial with your chastity play, the Kink3D cage also makes it easy for your keyholder to see and comment on your locked erections, touch or lick your penis through the cage’s bars, or hold a vibrator against the cage to stimulate you through it, though watch out for potential pinch points which can hurt in a bad way.

I still think the CB-6000 is the best chastity cage for beginners, because tons of sizing options come in a single box. But once you know your sizes and you’re interested in a gorgeous, custom-fit cage you can wear long-term that won’t break the bank, get an X-Lock. It’s been locked on my body for weeks at a time, and I’ve loved every second of it.