Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Pleasure Works Cadet

Kate Sloan

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Sometimes you meet someone who seems perfect on paper, but there’s just no spark in person. They’re smart, funny, sweet, ambitious, adventurous, creative, charming, and a genuine pleasure to be around – but you just can’t muster up a sexual attraction to them. It’s frustrating as hell, and sometimes it can keep you from firmly rejecting the person, because they deserve to be wanted and you want to want them but you just… don’t.

That’s how I feel about the Pleasure Works Cadet. It’s a perfectly fine dildo that deserves love, from somebody, someday. But it’s not getting any love from me, hard as I might try.

The Cadet is made of silicone that has a little squish: it’s bendier than O2 but significantly firmer than VixSkin. It has a mild, strange scent and taste that remind me of the chocolate from advent calendars (?!). Its base is substantial and makes it anal-safe and harness-compatible, and it’s long enough (6.5″) that you won’t render it too short by strapping it into a harness.

The 1.6″ diameter feels ideal to me. I don’t need to warm up or stretch myself open before I take it, but it’s girthy enough that squeezing around it feels satisfying.

imageThere’s some raised veins on the shaft, but they’re pretty mild so my vag barely registers them. The head has some weird ridgy texture on it, which Bex told me bothers her but which I can hardly feel. (I should note, however, that my vag has historically not been all that sensitive to texture. If you are, you might dislike this like Bex does.) The coronal ridge is definitely noticeable in use but it’s not exaggerated; mostly it just reminds me of an average penis… which unfortunately means that it barely hits my G-spot. In fact, I only seem to get decent G-spot stimulation with this toy if I thrust it very fast.

And that’s a problem I have with the Cadet: thrusting it fast takes effort. The textured shaft and draggy silicone create resistance, and I find the base hard to grip if I’m trying to pound myself at a decent clip. Adding more lube helps a little, but I hardly ever seem to gather the speed and momentum I want. And when I do manage it, usually my wrist hurts like hell afterward.

imageI thought I’d like the Cadet because it’s theoretically long enough to hit my A-spot – usually toys need to be about 6″ or longer to reach that deep inside me. But nope, it doesn’t even do that. The head is just slightly too wide and blunt to slide past my cervix into that pleasurable nook. When I push the Cadet all the way into me, it feels so close and yet so far. Dammit.

So, while I’ve had some pretty good orgasms with the Cadet, it’s never going to be a favorite of mine. It barely hits my favorite spots, even when I run myself ragged trying to thrust it at top speed. If you’re looking for an average-sized, realistic, silicone cock for strap-on purposes or otherwise, I’d recommend the Tantus Uncut #1, Vixen Leo or Mustang instead. They all make my vagina way happier than the Cadet.

Sorry, pal. I tried. But it’s not me, it’s you.

 

Thanks for sending me this toy, SheVibe!

Review: Doxy Wand

Kate Sloan

imageAround Christmastime, Carolyn from Betty’s Toy Box delivered me a Doxy Wand and some homemade holiday cookies, in a big gift bag with a kitten on the front. It was honestly one of the best Christmas gifts I’ve ever received – and not just because her cookies are off the chain. No, as good as those cookies were, the real star of the show was the vibrator. It turned out to be even better than I’d hoped.

See, I’d been hearing increasingly good things about the Doxy. JoEllen, Lilly, Potter and David all raved about this wand’s power and ease of use. Plenty of reviewers have said they prefer their Doxy over the Magic Wand, which is a bit like saying “This ketchup is better than Heinz” – I won’t entirely believe you, but I will at least listen to your reasoning.

The Hitachi Magic Wand kickstarted the entire wand genre of vibrators, and let’s be real: few of them even approach the excellence of the Hitachi. I like the adjustable dial on my Bodywand, but its ridged head annoys my clit and it’s louder than I prefer. The Lelo Smart Wand is elegant, ergonomic and rumbly, but mine died completely after about a year so it’s basically just a beautiful paperweight at this point. I like the small size and comfy handle of the Jimmyjane Iconic Wand, but its controls are in a weird spot and the rounded head makes pinpoint stimulation impossible.

As you can see, many companies have tried to improve upon the Magic Wand, but it never seems to go quite right. The Doxy, on the other hand, actually does feel like a better Magic Wand in many ways. That’s pretty remarkable.

A caveat: the Doxy’s never going to dethrone the Magic Wand Rechargeable as my go-to wand, simply because it’s not rechargeable. You’re chained to an outlet while you’re using the Doxy. The length of its cord is generous, but I still prefer the cordless experience of the MWR. That said, the Doxy’s fucking rad, and let me tell you why…

First off: it’s RUMBLY AS HELL. This is so, so, so important to me, and to many other vibrator users I know. My main complaint with the original Hitachi is its numbing buzziness – I like to be able to feel my genitals while I’m having an orgasm, thank you very much! – so I adore and appreciate rumblier wands. The Doxy’s vibrations stimulate my internal clitoris, not just the skin on the surface, and that results in deeper, stronger orgasms and less numbness. Yum, yay, yes please.

The buttons on the Doxy are huge, clearly labeled, and easy to press. They are like the “large-print books” of vibrator buttons. One turns the toy on and off, and the other two increase and decrease the speed. Occasionally my “+” button gets stuck if I press it too hard, which makes the vibe skip up a couple settings instead of just moving to the next one; this is mildly annoying but seems to happen less often the more that I’ve used the toy.

The head of the Doxy is made of a squishy PVC. It’s probably porous, so you should put a condom (or silicone attachment) on it if you want to share it with non-fluid-bonded partners. The head has a lot of give to it, so if you like to press vibrators hard against your body, you might find the squishiness annoying. I tend to hold my vibes very lightly against my clit so I haven’t run into this issue, but it’s something to keep in mind.

We need to talk about the various settings on the Doxy. The first one has been a particular source of fascination for me: it’s so low, it’s laughable. If you judged the wand’s value by this speed, you’d think it was poorly designed, because the toy’s handle conducts the vibrations waaay more than the head does. But that first speed is the only one for which that’s the case. (Don’t ask me why, I’m not a vibrator engineer!)

The second speed is the one that makes me come, 90% of the time. It’s a significant jump up from the first, which annoys me sometimes, but then I just hold it adjacent to my clit until I’m ready for more direct vibration and it works out fine.

I’m not typically a “power queen,” so the second speed is usually as much power as I need. But there are several stronger settings above it, and it’s good to know they’re there. Everyone should have a super-strong vibrator around, in case of those days when your genitals just aren’t very responsive and you want to blast yourself into orgasm.

The Doxy is basically what would happen if the Magic Wand and the Wahl had a baby together. It’s got the shape and controls of a standard wand, and the jackhammer-y rumbliness that I love about the Wahl. I still prefer vibrators with a more pinpointed shape, because my clit is an attention hog and would rather have all the vibration to itself than share it with my labia. But if you like broad stimulation and rumbly vibration, I think you would adore the Doxy Wand. It is the high-powered, effective, sleek, modern wand vibrator we need – nay, deserve – in 2016.

 

Thanks to Betty’s Toy Box for hooking me up with this toy!

Review: Tantus Pelt

Kate Sloan

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I once read about a French tradition in a fashion magazine, where you buy a red Chanel lipstick for a baby girl when she’s born and then give it to her when she’s old enough to rock it.

I was reminded of that custom when I got my Tantus Pelt paddle, because I want to buy one for every spanking enthusiast in my life. Top or bottom, dom or sub, casual dabbler or full-on kinkster: they all need one of these.

You might remember that I own a few Tantus paddles. I wasn’t a big fan of the Snap Strap – too long and stingy for my liking – so I gave it to a friend, and I hear she digs it. I was more partial to the Wham Bam, but even that was stingier than I typically prefer. And while the actual paddlin’ end of the Plunge works well for me, I was perplexed by the handle-that-doubles-as-a-dildo.

The Pelt, however, is my Goldilocks paddle.

I’m not the only one who feels this way about it. I used it on Bex, and Penny used it on me, live on Periscope right after I bought it, and we all adored it. When I brought it to Playground Prom and folks tried it out on each other on the dance floor, more than one person asked me where I had gotten it. I’ve brought it to my dom fuckbuddy’s house on multiple occasions and we’ve loved using it together. I even brought it to my first porn shoot and ended up with a tasty bruise.

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There is just so much about the Pelt that Tantus got perfectly right. For one thing: the material. All of Tantus’ paddles are made of matte black silicone. It looks and feels sexy and understated, and it can be boiled or bleached if you need to sanitize it between partners. The matte finish gives it enough grippiness that you probably won’t lose your grasp on it unless you get very sweaty or lube-y. The silicone is thick and firm enough to pack a real punch, but flexible enough that it gathers momentum with every stroke.

That momentum is the secret to the Pelt’s success. You don’t have to put much muscle into your swing to get a sizeable smack out of it. Its small size also makes it easier to manoeuver than the longer paddles Tantus makes, so I think this is the best paddle in the range for someone who has issues with strength or mobility: you don’t need a ton of brawn or co-ordination to use it. But if you do put some serious vigor into a Pelt wallop, you’ll get even more bang for your buck than you would with a rigid paddle.

As I mentioned, I’ve been on both sides of the Pelt, so I’ve come to appreciate its virtues both in the hand and on the butt. Aside from the aforementioned momentum awesomeness, I also like using it as a top because it’s just so damn comfortable to hold. The handle is slightly thicker and firmer than the business end, so it doesn’t flop or squish – Tantus’ designers are geniuses. The handle has squared-off edges but they don’t dig into my hand uncomfortably. Sometimes I like to pull the paddle’s end back toward me with one hand and then let it pop forward, like a slingshot, and that’s super fun and highly effective. And the Pelt makes some of the most satisfying impact sounds I have ever heard.

Bottom-wise, I get all swoony for the Pelt. It’s stingier and often more painful than traditional hand spankings or fist poundings, but if I’m properly warmed up, I can handle it. I sometimes like to have my skin stroked in between hits so I don’t get overstimulated, and the Pelt’s silky surface is lovely for that. This paddle warms and reddens my skin pretty quickly, which I totally dig. And while it can leave bruises and welts if used in the right way, it’s not so thuddy that marks are unavoidable.

In addition to all these great qualities, I also love that the Pelt is easy to wash, squishy enough that you can fold it up to fit it into a small bag, and (don’t make fun of me) has a sexy name. (I could never get down with the name of the Plunge. It reminded me of clogged toilets.)

The Pelt is my favorite paddle. My desert-island spanking implement. My interest in spanking has really ramped up over the past few months, and this wonderful tool has been my right-hand man during that journey. I own a lot of paddles but this is the one I most often tuck into my bag before sex-dates or pull out of my storage drawers for sex-visitors. It’s my one true paddle love, and I know it’s going to see me through plenty more adventures in my lifetime.

12 Days of Girly Juice: 1 Fantastic Toy Company

Kate Sloan

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2015 was the year of the Fucking Sculpture.

Though the company only really pinged on my radar this past year, they’ve been around for a good while. They crashed onto the scene in late 2012, instantly impressing bloggers with their dazzling toys and ballsy name. “These people just cut to the chase,” Epiphora wrote. “They called their company Fucking Sculptures.”

When I first looked at their designs, I agreed that the toys were beautiful – but none of them seemed like a particularly good fit for my anatomy. At the time, I was into bulbous G-spotting heads and drastic curves, ideally without a lot of texture. The ridges, bloops and gentle slopes in Fucking Sculpture’s designs were a treat to look at, but didn’t seem like they’d agree with my vagina.

Fast-forward a couple years, and a chain of events brought Fucking Sculptures to the forefront of my awareness again. I heard Aerie extol the bliss their G-Spoon gave them, including how it creates “mind-blowing A-spot orgasms.” Then I got to speak to the company’s co-founder, Maria, for the radio show I guest-hosted over the summer, and her passion for glass dildos made me even more curious about her products.

Maria was kind enough to send me a G-Spoon and I immediately fell in love with it. Not only is it a stunningly gorgeous piece of art, but it also hits my A-spot better than any other toy I’ve ever used. Friends and sex partners have half-jokingly accused me of being “addicted” to it. Sometimes I call it the “G-Swoon,” for obvious reasons. It is just a perfect chunk of glass.

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In the months since then, I’ve amassed two more Fucking Sculptures toys: the Double Trouble and the Pussywillow. (Reviews to come, eventually.) I wanted these so much that I actually paid for them with real money, which sex toy reviewers rarely do. They’re expensive, but they are worth it. And, you know, they’re not really that expensive, for what they are. Plenty of “luxury” toys are around the same price range or higher and aren’t hand-sculpted in the attentive and exquisite way that Fucking Sculptures are.

I’ve used my Fucking Sculptures with partners, in front of friends, and on camera. They always get oohs and aahs when I pull them out. Friends marvel at their beautiful colors and shapes; partners remark on how weighty they feel in the hand, and how much I writhe and wail when the glass makes contact with a perfect spot inside me. These toys are more than toys – they are pieces of art, conversation starters, prized possessions and treasured trophies.

As of right now, I think I own all the Fucking Sculptures creations I need… but who knows? As 2016 progresses, I might develop a craving for even more.

 

Which company made your favorite toys in 2015?

12 Days of Girly Juice: 9 Best New Sex Toys

Kate Sloan

Yes, it’s that time, folks… Time to reflect back on 2015 and choose the toys that most tickled my fancy and improved my life. If you’ve been following along closely, you can probably guess most of these in advance. Oh wellz – here they are!

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9. The Womanizer has a terrible name, costs a prohibitive amount of money, and is 100% the ugliest sex toy I’ve ever seen. But (she admitted with a sigh of resignation), it also produces a sensation that is certifiably unique and quite often orgasmic. So, while it needs a massive branding overhaul, it still snuck into this list because when I want it, I need it. (Available at SheVibe and Sex Toys Canada.)

8. Is it cheating if I put a toy on this list that I’ve only used one time? My one-of-a-kind, handmade Seaside Steamroller is too humongous for my vagina on all but the limberest of days, but it’s so beautiful that it works well as a display piece nonetheless.

7. I’ve wanted a Liberator Throe since this blog first launched; I’m so glad I finally got one. It keeps me from soaking through to my mattress on the rare occasions that I squirt, and it’s also surprisingly classy and discreet-looking when draped across my bed. Just as long as nobody sits on it and notices the crinkly texture, that is. (Available at SheVibe.)

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6. The Tantus Uncut #1 was my favorite realistic dildo of 2015. Pleasantly girthy, adorably realistic, and comfortably squishy – Tantus totally hit the mark with this one. As a sex toy reviewer, sometimes I get blasé about cocks, but this one was worth getting excited over. (Available at Tantus, SheVibe, Peepshow Toys and Sex Toys Canada.)

5. The Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble is incredible. My A-spot and G-spot are obsessed. Designed in a collaboration between porn maven Courtney Trouble and artisanal glass dildo geniuses Fucking Sculptures, it truly is “where art meets sex, then fucks itself.”

4. “Don’t call it a comeback…” Everyone’s favorite wand vibrator, ye olde Hitachi, got revamped and relaunched this year as the Magic Wand Rechargeable. It’s one of the most reliable vibrators I’ve ever owned. Maybe that sounds boring, but it’s not. It gets me off, easily, quickly, consistently, and often through my pajama pants. And that’s quite a feat. (Available at SheVibe, Peepshow Toys and Sex Toys Canada.)

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3. My G-spot kinda spasms in delight at the very thought of the NobEssence Seduction. It hits my spot so perfectly, so completely, so intensely that I often come in a couple minutes or less. It’s also freaking gorgeous and feels like a luxury item. Mmm, NobEssence. (Available at SheVibe.)

2. My acquisition of the Njoy Eleven was like a romance in a teen movie. People told me to stay away. I tried to resist, but then I gave in. Then I fell deeply, swiftly in love. And it was a love like no other. How can this toy hit my G-spot and A-spot simultaneously?! How can it leave me feeling as sated and breathless as if I’d just been fucked by a 6’2″ muscly dom dude in a leather jacket?! How can an object so perfect possibly exist in the real world?! (Available at SheVibe, Peepshow Toys and Sex Toys Canada.)

1. Bury me with my Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon in my vagina. If I’ve gotta die, I might as well get stellar A-spot stimulation from here to eternity. Seriously, this toy hits my deep spot better than any other I’ve ever owned, and it does it all while being stunningly beautiful. I will never stop fawning over the G-Spoon. It is my love, my everything, my addiction, my obsession. Blah, blah, blah, just buy one already! (Available at SheVibe.)

 

As you can see, it’s been a pretty good year for sex toys! What were some of your favorites in 2015?