Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Pink + Gun Oil lubes

Kate Sloan

I am a lube snob. I use almost exclusively Sliquid. My lube collection is like an advertisement for glycerin-free, natural, vagina-safe products – and that’s the way I like it, of course.

I was sent some products to try from two lube lines, Pink and Gun Oil, both created by the same parent company, Empowered Products. They sent me full-size bottles of both the silicone-based and water-based versions of Pink lube (called Pink and Pink Water, respectively) and smaller samples of various other products they carry, including the basic silicone-based and water-based Gun Oil lubes.

So let’s get this out of the way: these products are highly gendered in their packaging and promotion. Pink lubes have soothing colors (mostly pink, of course), girly fonts, and the words “for women” (which bugs me, because anyone can use these lubes). My Gun Oil samples don’t say “for men,” but the packaging screams it with its military-style font and “masculine” colors. If gendered products irritate you or trigger you, etc., I think you’ll have to look elsewhere; some Sliquid lubes are less binarist in appearance.

But despite the differences in marketing, Gun Oil lubes are actually not different from Pink ones, formulation-wise. As this excellent Novelty Toy Meets Girl review points out, Pink Water and Gun Oil H2O contain the exact same ingredients, as do the silicone-based versions of each lube.

So you could say there’s no difference and that you therefore might as well buy whichever lube appeals to you most, visually, but that’s not exactly true either – there is a difference, and it’s price. As that same review explains (seriously, it’s a fantastic post), you can get greater quantities of Gun Oil lubes for lower prices. As is sadly the norm when it comes to gendered personal care products, women get shafted. So if value’s all you’re after, go for the Gun Oil.

What all of these lubes have in common is that they’re very liquidy and runny. That’s not something I personally like in a lube, because I always end up getting it all over myself and my bedsheets instead of on the toy I’m trying to use it on. But some people prefer that drippiness, because it can feel more “natural” and vaginal lubrication-like.

All the lubes are unscented, but the water-based ones have a sharp, sour taste that I would find really distracting if it got into my mouth at any point during sex. (If you want an oral sex-friendly lube, I can’t say enough good things about Sliquid Swirl.)

The lasting time of these lubes is okay, but not great. I would still tend to choose a thicker, more gel-like lube if I needed long-lasting slickness, like if I was going to use it for anal play. As with all water-based lubes, Pink Water and Gun Oil H2O can be perked up again with the addition of more water, though I don’t find that they get as slick upon reactivation as they initially were. Reapplication makes for a better result, so you might end up using a lot of product.

Lastly, both water-based lubes contain propylene glycol, which is a known irritant. Not everyone reacts badly to it, but if you’ve had problems with propylene glycol lubes before or if you know your orifices are sensitive to this sort of thing, you might want to give these a pass.

Overall, I can’t say that I’m in love with these lubes. I’m likely to stick with my old faithfuls because of their longer lasting times, more natural ingredients, and less aggressively gendered marketing. But, y’know, I’m always glad to have more lube options. Sometimes I even get into a girly mood and want to douse my genitals in something that says “Pink” in big letters.

Thanks, Empowered Products!

Review: Tantus Echo Handle

Kate Sloan

It’s been two years since I reviewed the Tantus Echo. They’ve changed the design a little since then, but it’s still great and I still recommend it. (What can I say? It is Tantus, after all.)

The Echo Handle is what it sounds like: Echo with an added handle. This addition fulfills two purposes: a) it makes it easier for people to use the toy if a big belly, short arms, or mobility issues cause them to have trouble using traditional dildos, and b) it makes it really, really fun to swing this toy around like a lightsaber.

(Marginally relevant side note: one time I posted a picture of myself to Facebook where I was holding two dildos, and my conservative grandfather left a comment asking what they were for – as if he didn’t know! – and I told him they were for swordfighting. But I digress…)

I found the original Echo’s base a bit flimsy. It worked fine, but sometimes I wanted something a bit more solid so I could thrust with more speed and strength. The added handle totally fixes this problem. I still hold it in roughly the same place as I would hold a regular dildo, because that’s what feels most natural to me, but the thickness and firmness of the handle makes thrusting a breeze no matter where you grip it.

The handle is also made of matte silicone, while the insertable part of the toy is glossy. I find that this helps me keep a better grip, even when the whole scene is smeared with lube.

The handle makes it so that this toy isn’t harness-compatible. If you like the look of the Echo but want to use it in a harness, try the original: the base has been redesigned so it doesn’t have the flimsiness issue anymore. Hooray!

The pricing on the Echos is a little weird. You can get a regular Echo for $72, an Echo Handle for $58, or the Grab Bag versions of each for $33 or $27 respectively. (Grab Bag toys, if you don’t know, are the same as regular ones except you don’t get to choose which color you want, and it may end up being a weird swirly combination of colors.) So if value is what you’re after, the Grab Bag handled version is the best in that department. I don’t know why a toy containing more silicone would be cheaper, but hey, I’m not going to argue about it.

So, how does the toy actually feel? Fantastic. If you like that “popping” sensation when a penis or realistic dildo’s coronal ridge slides in and out, you’ll freak out over the Echo, because it’s basically that, but multiplied by five. The Echo Handle’s ridges are a little less prominent than those on the original Echo (1.5" versus 1.55") and you should keep that in mind when deciding which one to get – but the Handle’s ridges certainly don’t feel wimpy. The handled version also has a little extra useable length – 7" as opposed to 6.5".

The silicone of my Echo Handle definitely feels firmer to me than the original, but it’s comfortable nonetheless. I also notice that it’s a little more uniform in color, compared to my original Echo which has more swirls and variations within its color. Not a big deal, but worth mentioning.

Both Echos provide killer A-spot (anterior fornix) stimulation for me. I can’t figure out how they do this. You would think that a big, swollen head like this one would just bump into my cervix instead of snaking delicately into the tucked-away anterior fornix – but nope, it rubs the fuck out of that spot. That’s exactly the kind of vaginal stimulation that makes me go “HOLY FUCK I LOVE THIS DILDO” so this one is definitely a keeper.

So if you love ridges, A-spot play, and swinging dildos around like swords, get the Echo Handle. It’s yet more evidence that Tantus is one of the best sex toy companies out there.

Thank you, Tantus!

Review: Lelo Luna Beads Noir

Kate Sloan

Someone please explain vaginal balls to me. I don’t understand.

I mean, I understand the theory behind them. They’re supposed to give you some weight, some resistance, with which to exercise your vagina. It’s supposed to be difficult to hold them inside you, forcing you to use your muscles and make your twat stronger. And some of them are also supposed to give you a fun bouncy sensation that’s sexually pleasurable, I guess as a motivator to exercise your vag more often.

But this is never how vaginal balls work for me. It’s never any effort to keep them inside. They never feel heavy or challenging. They just stay put. Am I an anomaly, with a freakishly tight and strong vagina? Or have vaginal balls, as a category of sex toys, just totally lost the plot of what they are supposed to do?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. Please feel free to answer and explain in the comments if you have any theories. For now, I’m going to talk about the latest I’ve tried in a string of perplexing vag balls: the Lelo Luna Beads Noir.

I was sent these balls last year, after having a chat with a lovely Lelo rep about the effect that the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon has had on the sex toy industry. Apparently (and I can’t vouch for this because I could only force myself through the first half of the first book), at some point in the trilogy, Christian Grey gives Ana Steele a set of vaginal balls to use, and it’s sexy, or whatever. So as a result, this type of product saw an uptick in sales, and Lelo decided to jump on the bandwagon and make a black/grey version of their Luna Beads Mini.

I will admit that the whole reason I ended up owning the Luna Beads Noir was that I told the Lelo rep how beautiful I thought they were. The smokey grey, the stark black… I dunno, man; I guess I’m a sucker for black sex toys.

Each ball weighs 37 grams and is 1 ¼" in diameter. So, yeah, these are small, but not so small that I can’t feel them. Lelo recommends this size for women who are under 30 years of age or who haven’t given birth. I don’t know how I feel about that type of recommendation, given how much variation there is among vaginas. Let’s just say, you should find out the diameter of your favorite dildo(s) and compare if you’re undecided about which size Luna Beads to get. (The regular size is 1.4" in diameter, which really isn’t that much bigger.)

Unlike the Luna Beads proper, the Noir version only comes with one set of balls, so you can’t swap them out if you want something heavier.

As I mentioned above, my vagina must be a Chinese finger trap because there is no moment during the usage of these balls when I ever feel like they might fall out. I suppose it might be a challenge to keep them in if I were to slather them in handfuls of lube before use, but like, who wants to do that? (Speaking of lube: you should use the water-based kind with these balls, due to their materials.)

The balls themselves are smooth plastic, and the removable girdle that houses them is slightly grippy silicone. This combination of textures feels sexy in the hand but I can’t really perceive it once they’re in my vagina.

The signature bouncy sensation provided by vaginal balls is just dandy with this set. Minimal movement sets them off, which is a plus as far as I’m concerned. I am always very aware of their presence, and they make me want to move my hips around and run up and down staircases.

The looped retrieval cord on these is one of the best things about them: it’s very sturdy and has no stretch whatsoever. Many a good pair of balls have been ruined by an insubstantial or overly stretchy string. When I want to remove my Luna Beads Noir, I just pull the cord – no finagling or fretting required. These will never get stuck in my vagina.

So, as far as vaginal balls are concerned, the Lelo Luna Beads Noir are some of the best I’ve tried. If you want a pair, and like the dark aesthetic of these ones, you should get them – especially since they’re just $23.20 with the code “LELO” on PinkCherry. For a high-quality, body-safe, comfortable and functional pair of vag balls, you won’t find a much better price than that.

But I still don’t really “get” vaginal balls. Maybe it’s my body. Maybe it’s the way they’re made. I don’t know. They confuse me. Oh well…

Thank you, Lelo!

Review: Tantus Flirt

Kate Sloan

Lately I haven’t been in the mood for anal stimulation, like, ever. My butt’s been highly resistant to poking and prodding. Which is why it’s taken me so damn long to get this review written.

Tantus sent me the Flirt months ago. I had actually requested a smaller plug, the Little Flirt, but I was nonetheless happy to see the regular-sized Flirt when it arrived in my mailbox – because it looks sexy as hell. Glossy, black, curvy, flexible. Mmm.

If you ask me (and you’re reading my blog, so I assume you’re asking me), Tantus is one of the few companies that really gets anal toys right. They don’t cause my butt pain or discomfort. They just feel good.

The Flirt is no exception. Its gently swelling curves slip inside me with minimal warm-up, even though the toy is 1.4 inches across its widest point. The curve from the head to the middle of the shaft is just delicious, and feels gooooood going in and out of my ass. Combined with clit stimulation, it’s a knockout. As with many other Tantus butt toys, the sentence that comes to mind is, “This is what anal play should always feel like.”

My only issue with the Flirt is the base. I think it’s due for a redesign. It’s roughly the same width as the widest part of the plug, so it doesn’t feel completely secure; I get the sense that I have to hold onto it or it might drift inside me (though I don’t know if this is actually possible or if it’s just a feeling I have). It’s also circular and wide, so the Flirt isn’t really “wearable” as a plug; it’s more of an active toy, to be used during fucking, than it is one to be worn inside your underwear for hours at a time. (I have other plugs for that.)

If Tantus gave the Flirt a wide, crescent moon-shaped base like their Juice plug has, it would be useable as an all-purpose butt plug. For now, I’ll only be using it for in-and-out-fucking. But it does that very, very well.

Merci, Tantus!

Review: Lelo Ida

Kate Sloan

I never knew a toy could make me scream in pain until I tried the Lelo Ida.

I didn’t see it coming, and neither did my boyfriend. So we were both pretty horrified, since pain wasn’t supposed to be on the agenda that night (and vaginal pain isn’t the kind I find hot, anyway).

The Ida is an overhaul of Lelo’s previous couples’ vibes, the Tiani and Noa, meant to be worn inside the vagina alongside the penis during PIV sex. Incase you didn’t know, Lelo got into a legal tussle with We-Vibe when the latter accused the former of stealing their unique toy design, and We-Vibe won, so Lelo had to scrap everything and start from scratch.

I assumed the Ida would be like a poor man’s We-Vibe, and it is, but it’s worse than that: it’s an assault on the genitals. It’s like trying to fit a square peg into my round hole.

I think my major problem with it is that the internal portion is SO BIG. No, it’s not big by dildo standards, but when you try to shove a penis in underneath it, it digs into the vaginal wall and feels appallingly out of place. It reminds me of those occasional awkward moments when my boyfriend’s penis jams my NuvaRing into an odd position and it hurts, except the Ida is so much worse than that, because it’s firm and it’s rotating.

Yep, the internal portion rotates. I thought this would be my favorite feature, because historically I enjoy internal rotation, but actually I can barely feel it. When my boyfriend’s penis is inside me, I can’t tell if the added girth is stopping the rotation entirely or if I just can’t feel the silicone arm’s slow stroking over the wave of pain I’m experiencing. Either way, it doesn’t do a damn thing for me.

The external part of the toy doesn’t cause me pain like the internal part, but it’s still a pretty massive failure. Traditional couples’ vibes have a slim external part, made to tuck neatly between the labia so it can access the clitoris easily and directly. The Ida, instead, has a large round disc, almost as big as my palm. Ain’t no way a disc is fitting in between my labia, so it just sits on the outside of my vulva, the vibrations ever-so-slightly reaching my clit but certainly not enough to induce an orgasm. I would imagine this problem would be even worse for people with thick outer labia.

I had an orgasm from the Ida once – once – and here is what I had to do to make it happen: I had to use it by itself (no penis, no dildo), I had to turn it up to the highest setting so my clit could perceive the vibrations, and when I got close to orgasm, I had to physically press the disc against my clit to give it enough sensation. When the ordeal was over, I felt so drained and disappointed that the orgasm hardly felt worth it. And that was the best session I’ve had with my Ida.

With my partner, no amount of lube and warm-up and patience can make the Ida pleasurable or even comfortable. It just feels like I’m getting stabbed in the vaginal wall. I scream into the pillow and push my boyfriend away. He gets upset and distressed that he has hurt me. And then we give up on the Ida and have sex normally, which still kind of hurts after the Ida’s onslaught on my vagina. This happens every time we use it. I have had enough.

Did I mention that you have to pay $200 for the luxury of getting poked in the vaginal wall with a piece of rotating silicone?

There are other details I could mention in this review – the Ida has a remote, it’s waterproof, it has two high-tech motion-sensitive settings, it’s made of smooth body-safe materials – but really, none of that matters, because I cannot recommend this toy to anyone. I refuse to.

If you want a comfortable couples’ vibe to wear during PIV sex, try the Noa – it’s the only one I’ve ever liked, and it’s half the price of the Ida. If you want to have more control of your experience, try holding a long-handled or small vibe against your clit during PIV: I recommend the Eroscillator, Mia 2, or Tango.

But please, don’t get the Ida. Or if you really want the Ida experience, try putting a sharp rock in your vag next time your partner’s about to penetrate you.

This toy was sent to me for review by Lelo. Dear Lelo: I still love you, even though I hate the Ida.