Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Tantus Snap Strap paddle

Kate Sloan

I don’t think I really believed Tantus when they first came out with their line of paddles and said that the collection “can give you an entire spectrum of colors during use, from rosy pink, all the way to black & blue.” I guess I just didn’t think there could be that much variety from one plain-looking silicone paddle to another. But now I’m converted. Now I understand.

I have two paddles from the collection now, the Snap Strap, which I’m reviewing today, and the Wham Bam, which I’ve had for a few months already. Both are excellent, but I have a strong preference for the Wham Bam and I’ll tell you why.

In kink-speak, there are basically two ends of the spectrum when it comes to the sensations of impact play: “stingy” (pronounced sting-ee, not stin-jee) and “thuddy.” In a way, I think of them as being akin to the distinction between “buzzy” and “rumbly” in vibrators. If a paddle, flogger, or crop is stingy, its impact is basically surface-level, whereas a thuddy implement packs a deeper punch. Think of it as the difference between someone slapping your ass and punching it, maybe.

My boyfriend and I spent a good while testing both the Snap Strap and the Wham Bam on one another, and we both concluded that we prefer the Wham Bam – because it’s thuddier. Its sensation is fuller and more impactful. It’s more painful, but in a good way.

Of course, others will prefer the Snap Strap for its distinctly stingy sensation. Everyone has preferences and those preferences inform what kind of paddle you should buy.

As for the wielding end of the experience, the Wham Bam is definitely easier to manoeuver. The business end is thicker and shorter, so it doesn’t flop around as much. Both my partner and I found the Snap Strap so long and floppy that it was tricky to aim with. It truly behaves more like a strap, a belt, or a whip than a paddle – so if you already like that type of toy and want a sturdier version, the Snap Strap might be a good option.

By the way, if you’re wondering why someone would want a silicone paddle over more traditional materials like leather, here’s why: silicone is sterilizable. Say you’re playing with one of your partners and you happen to get some of her bodily fluids onto the paddle, but you have a date with your other partner later that day for some spanking (you minx, you!). With Tantus toys, that’s no problem – just stick it in some boiling water for a few minutes and you’re good to go.

So which paddle should you buy? If you’re a spankee, ask yourself whether your favorite part of a spanking is the sharp feeling on your skin (Snap Strap!) or the deep, reverberating sensation of a strong smack (Wham Bam!). If you’re a spanker, ask yourself if you feel more comfortable wielding a traditional paddle (Wham Bam!) or something closer to a whip (Snap Strap!).

Or you could just get both and call it a day.

Many thanks to PinkCherry for providing me with this toy!

Review: Something Forbidden Butt Plug

Kate Sloan

I’ve tried a lot of butt plugs in my day, but the Something Forbidden is easily the worst-designed of all of them.

It’s from the official Fifty Shades of Grey collection, meaning it was co-designed by E. L. James, so really, I should’ve guessed it would suck. But I thought that the other co-designer, Lovehoney, would know better, given that they actually make and sell sex toys (including the Sqweel, which I like). But nope. This butt plug is straight-up terrible.

Let’s go through the concerns I have with it, from most horrifying to least:

First off, the base is the WORST base I have ever encountered. It’s ring-shaped, and it is made of incredibly floppy, squishy, thin silicone. I can squish the base completely flat between two fingers with minimal effort. This means that whenever I wear the plug, I am constantly terrified that the base is going to smush together and the whole toy is going to slip inside me, necessitating a mad dash to the emergency room. Not fun.

Secondly, the words “Fifty Shades of Grey” are carved into the side of the plug. Not only is that a lot of tiny text to have to scrub with an old toothbrush during the cleaning process, but also – the text is engraved on the plug itself, not the base. So you’ve got a shit ton of text that can easily become encrusted with, you guessed it, actual shit. And lube, and whatever else. And it’s not that easy to clean. Gross. Major, major design flaw.

Thirdly, there’s a big seam running all the way around the plug. This isn’t the kind of thing I usually notice on sex toys (maybe my butt just isn’t that sensitive?) but I know it drives other people nuts, so it’s worth noting.

If the Something Forbidden were overhauled and those three glaring problems were fixed, I could see it being a decent plug for the kind of audience the Fifty Shades collection is aiming for: vanilla folks who have never or seldom tried kink before (including anal play). This plug is a good size for beginners, at 1″ in diameter, and it has a nicely tapered tip that makes it easy to insert. It also plays well with my favorite lube; I didn’t find I needed to reapply, even after an hour of wear.

The plug comes with a lovely silver-grey storage bag with the words Fifty Shades of Grey printed on it. While it’s obviously not the most discreet storage solution in the world, I still appreciate it. Too many companies forget the importance of including a storage bag, especially with lint-happy silicone toys like this one.

But overall? Please, please, please, don’t buy this plug. It’s a Colossal Butt Hazard. If you want something similarly sized and shaped, but 100% more safe, I highly recommend Tantus’s Meteorite, Slim, or Little Flirt. Or you could pay $60 for the best butt plug ever and never have to worry about your butt’s needs again.

Just stay the fuck away from the Something Forbidden. I do, indeed, forbid you to put it in your butt.

Thanks so much to PinkCherry for providing me with this toy!

Review: Lelo Gigi 2

Kate Sloan

Lelo really cares about making excellent products. Some companies churn out crappy toy after crappy toy, seeking only to pad their bottom line and not to make anyone really happy in the pants – but others, like Lelo, give a shit. They want to contribute something meaningful to the sex toy industry.

That’s why Lelo has been gradually producing updated versions of their best-selling toys for a while now. Usually their updates make only two big changes – more power, and waterproof – but those two changes make all the difference, and can take a toy from “okay” to “excellent.”

The Gigi 2 is a great example of this. I tried the original Gigi and didn’t like it much; my review complained, “Gigi feels weak and buzzy… If you’re looking for power, this toy will disappoint you.”

If you need a primer on the difference between buzzy and rumbly when it comes to vibrators, I welcome you to read Epiphora’s thoughts on it. To sum up: buzzy vibes feel surface-level and can lead to fast numbness, while rumbly vibes shake the entire internal clitoris and therefore lead to stronger, deeper orgasms for many folks – myself included.

This is important info to understand when you’re talking about the Gigi and its update, because the difference between the two – at least as far as my clit can tell – is more about vibration quality than vibration strength. Pressed against my hand or held up to my ear, I can barely tell the difference between them – but one gives me orgasms, and the other doesn’t.

Gigi 2 is the same as its predecessor in terms of shape and size. Gigi is one of Lelo’s all-time best-selling toys so it makes sense that they wouldn’t want to mess with a functional formula. My new Gigi has a white ring around the button panel that was grey on the old one, and it doesn’t have a little piece of silicone covering the charging port like the old one did, because Gigi 2 is waterproof. Other than that, they look identical (though I did choose a different color for my Gigi 2, to avoid confusion!).

It continues to make me feel weird that there is no silicone covering over the charging port. I know the toy is waterproof – I have even taken my Gigi 2 into the bath and had orgasms there without issue – but it is still strange to see water traveling into a hole on my expensive sex toy. Doesn’t mess with my overall enjoyment of the toy, really; just weirds me out. I might prefer a little slit that you pierce with the charger when the toy needs some juice, like what’s on Leaf toys.

The other issue with taking Gigi in the bath is that the smooth plastic handle gets very slippery when wet. Whether it’s water, bodily fluids, or lube, this can be a problem. You might want to keep a towel or washcloth handy. Or Lelo might want to think about making their handles grippier.

A problem I have with many Lelo toys, which seems (but maybe isn’t actually) more prominent on the Gigi 2, is the way you have to press the buttons to get them to work. Apparently in attempt to fix reviewers’ past complaints about pressing buttons by accident while maneuvering the toy, newer Lelo vibes’ buttons need a good, solid press before they’ll respond. When I push a button for a shorter length of time – say, half a second instead of the full second – the control panel still lights up momentarily like it usually does, but the setting doesn’t change. I have to press it again, properly. And while I’m sure there are people who appreciate this feature, I mostly just get annoyed by it. When I change my vibrator’s settings, I’m often on the brink of orgasm, needing just a little more power – and a failed button-press can mess that up for me.

Other than that issue, I really enjoy Gigi 2 as a clit vibe. The handle is comfortable to hold, my clit loves the flat, broad-but-not-too-broad head of the toy, and it has enough power to get me off.

Sometimes I get up to the highest setting and wish there was just one or two more beyond that – just a little more power. But the vibrations are fairly rumbly (at least, rumblier than older Lelo toys) so I will eventually have an orgasm if I keep at it. I won’t just go numb and have to stop.

As a G-spot toy, Gigi doesn’t do much for me and never has. It’s too short to reach my G-spot without me having to awkwardly grasp it by the very end of the handle. It’s also just not strong enough to please my G-spot, which feels very buried in my vaginal wall and so needs a lot of vibration. Something like the Fun Factory Patchy Paul, with its insanely strong and low-pitched motor. Gigi just feels like gentle buzzing inside my vagina, and it doesn’t even really find the right spot most of the time.

Someone wanting better G-spot stimulation in a Lelo toy should look at the Mona 2. I find Mona’s shape and size – especially its length – waaaay superior to the Gigi when trying to locate my G-spot.

That said, I do hope Lelo eventually comes out with a super-curved G-spot toy – something like the Jopen Comet II, but with that classic Lelo elegance. I think they could knock it out of the park.

I’m overall pretty pleased with my Gigi 2. It’s become one of my go-to clit vibes, even though that’s not what it’s designed for. It’s versatile, and small enough to slip into a purse or maybe a pocket. But if you want real G-spot stimulation, spend a little more and get the Mona; it’ll do a better job.

Thanks so much to the wonderful people at Lelo for sending me this toy to try out!

My Top 5 Favorite Lubes

Kate Sloan

I don’t write about lubes a whole lot here, because, well, they’re not that interesting, frankly. Much like a pair of scissors or a pair of socks, lube is something you hardly notice unless you’ve got a particularly shitty one.

That said, I do have my lube preferences. Like most sexually well-informed people with vaginas, I am picky about what I will slather all over my sex toys. Here are my top 5 picks, in no particular order.

1. Sliquid Organics Gel is my number-one, tried-and-true, go-to lube. As its name suggests, it has a thick, gel-like consistency, making it ideal for anal play or marathon vaginal sex sessions. It lasts way longer than most other water-based lubes I’ve tried, it’s paraben- and glycerin-free, it’s organic, and its smell and taste are unnoticeable. Truly a perfect lube.

2. Sliquid Sassy feels pretty much identical to the Organics Gel in texture and consistency. As far as I can tell, the only difference is that Sassy isn’t organic, and is usually a bit cheaper, depending on where you shop. I recommend Sassy to everyone, especially for anal play.

3. Sliquid Swirl in “Pink Lemonade.” Another Sliquid lube? Yep. Swirl is the only vagina-safe flavored lube I’ve ever encountered (it’s sweetened with aspartame instead of any kind of sugar), making it a godsend for those of us who like to experiment with nifty flavors during sex. The only one I’ve tried is the Pink Lemonade, though I hear that the other varieties are equally delicious.

4. Pjur Original Bodyglide is silicone-based, so it’s not as versatile as the aforementioned lubes – it can’t be used with most silicone toys. However, it lasts longer than its water-based counterparts, and it feels nicer to the touch. I use Pjur for handjobs, and sometimes on toys made of glass or steel. They don’t call it “Bodyglide” for nothin’.

5. Blossom Organics Natural Moisturizing Lubricant feels almost exactly like my natural vaginal fluids, which is why my boyfriend and I made the mutual decision to buy it after sampling all the lubes at Red Tent Sisters back in the day. Blossom is reasonably long-lasting, water-based, free of gross chemicals, and has a mild sweet taste. It remains my favorite lube for vaginal intercourse, though it is harder to find than the other lubes I’ve mentioned.

What’s your favorite lube and why? Do you use different lubes depending on what activities you’re doing?

Ask Girly Juice: Implements of Kink!

Kate Sloan

Anonymous asked: Do you have any recommendations for whips/cuffs/other kinky stuff?

I know you sent me this question a while ago, dear anon, and I’ve been mulling it over. After seeing Tristan Taormino’s new film about kink for couples (review coming soon!), I feel newly inspired to answer this question.

The first place you should look is Tantus’ sensation section. While known more for their dildos than their sensation-play toys, Tantus recently came out with a line of paddles that deserve your attention.

I have the Wham Bam and it is divine. It flops around a little bit, but not too much, and it delivers a hell of a thwack. If you want something smaller and more concentrated, I’d recommend the Pelt. Best of all, each Tantus paddle is made out of 100% body-safe silicone, so it can be boiled to sterilize, meaning you can share it between multiple partners without fear or risk.

If you want something less intense (and less pricey), a bamboo paddle could be pretty good, though I think that’s more for beginners than the Tantus ones.

I only have one pair of nipple clamps, these Spartacus ones, and they are very painful. I am too much of a wimp to even fully affix them to my nipples, in fact. But if you have tougher nipples than mine and/or are experienced with clamps, you might enjoy ‘em.

Lelo makes a beautiful Sensua flogger with a substantial, grippy handle and a suede business end. It’s small, so it’s probably best for beginner masochists (or for tucking into your purse in case you suddenly crave a good whipping while out in public somewhere!). If you want a whip that’s longer and more functional, Pipedream makes one that doubles as a glass dildo. Amazing.

For cuffs, I generally recommend leather ones because I find they’re the most comfortable (and the sexiest!). There are some nice ones by Allure. Also check out anything and everything by Aslan Leather – some of their products are even vegan (faux leather)!

If you want to restrain someone without spending a lot, it’s hard to go wrong with bondage tape.

A Wartenburg wheel is a cool way to ease into pain play if it’s something you haven’t tried much before. My friend used one of these things on my arm today and I just thought it felt prickly and strange, but I know lots of folks are into ’em. They have a kind of a medical fetish vibe.

Finally, if you’re looking for a ball gag, I gotta recommend Tantus again. Many ball gags are made of rubber, the smell and taste of which I find disgusting; I can only imagine this effect would be compounded if I was being gagged by a big rubber ball. For that reason, I think silicone ball gags are the way to go. Tantus has a non-representational gag in a few different colors, or you can get a gag shaped like the head of a penis.

This isn’t advanced kinkster stuff, for the most part, but I think it’s a pretty good starter kit for anyone who wants to explore BDSM! (Don’t get the Fifty Shades collection, please, for heaven’s sake.)

Got a question you want me to answer on my blog? Get in touch!