Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Tantus Splish

Kate Sloan

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It makes me sad to have to write a negative review about a Tantus toy, since they’re usually so fantastic – but the Splish has been a total letdown for me.

It’s a good-lookin’ dual-color dildo, a smaller version of the formidable Splash. I waffled a lot about which toy to get, because the Splash is too wide for me at 1 ¾", and the Splish is too narrow for me at 1".

I went for the smaller one. I don’t know why.

The Splish feels good for about three minutes, assuming I haven’t been penetrated by anything else recently. But after that, my vagina widens with arousal and I practically can’t feel the damn thing anymore.

It’s not even long enough to reach my A-spot. And if a toy is too narrow to stroke my G-spot, it better be able to work some magic on my A-spot. The Splish can do neither.

While I might recommend the Splish for a beginner to anal play, or for someone suffering from vaginismus, I think just about everyone else would be happier with the larger Splash.

Review: California Exotics Silicone Jack Rabbit

Kate Sloan

When people ask me what I think about rabbit vibrators, I say, “It’s a brilliant idea, but it’s usually poorly executed.”

Many rabbits are made of disgusting materials – and the ones made of body-safe silicone basically fall into two categories: ridiculously expensive rechargeables, and cheaper, shittier vibes with power distribution issues.

I have pretty specific needs when it comes to rabbit vibes. First, the shaft needs to twirl, not vibrate, because my G-spot responds far better to motion and pressure than it does to vibration. Second, the clit stimulator needs to be strong enough and must have more than one speed. Thirdly, the shaft and clit stimulator need to be independently controllable, because sometimes my clit is momentarily hungrier than my G-spot or vice versa. And finally, the power distribution needs to work well – I can’t have a rabbit whose clit stimulator weakens considerably when you turn up the shaft speed.

To my great surprise, the California Exotics Silicone Jack Rabbit meets all of these criteria.

The Jack Rabbit is an updated version of the first rabbit I ever owned, which also happens to be the only jelly toy I purchased before I found out how awful jelly is. I loved that rabbit’s functionality, but after a few uses, it started to make my vagina burn, so I wistfully set it aside and haven’t used it since. Needless to say, I’m glad that CalEx decided to make a body-safe version, and that it rocks.

This rabbit’s spinning shaft is controlled with up and down buttons. It has three speeds: medium, fast, and very fast. Like most twirly rabbit shafts, it’s kind of loud and sounds like a kitchen appliance – and the sound level doesn’t seem to decrease even when the toy is buried in my vagina. Sorry, co-habitators.

The clit stimulator is basically the Goldilocks of bunny ears: not too floppy, not too firm. They stay put on my clit but don’t dig into it at all. The ears’ vibrations are controlled via one button; you can cycle through the three solid speeds, as well as a few patterns.

The shaft’s base also has those twirling beads embedded in it, which are apparently really popular. I’m not 100% convinced I can actually feel them, but it’s possible they’re contributing to my enjoyment anyway.

Real talk: this rabbit can get me off in two minutes flat. There are very, very few toys I can say that about. The combination of different types of stimulation is straight-up divine.

It’s apparently waterproof, but some other people who’ve reviewed it have noted that the silicone section started to separate from the plastic base, making it risky to take it in the bath. This hasn’t happened to mine, but I’m wary about putting it in water. If you really want a waterproof rabbit, it might be worth saving up for something by Jopen or Lelo.

The clit vibration is not the strongest in the world, and it’s pretty buzzy – but it gets me off, and I’d say I require a medium-to-high amount of stimulation depending on the day, so that’s something. The circling motion of the shaft causes the clit stimulator to gently and slightly move up and down on my clit on its own, which helps.

The Silicone Jack Rabbit costs $80, so if you want a luxe, high-quality rabbit, you could upgrade to the Lelo Ina for not that much more. But if, like me, you demand a spinning shaft and you don’t have the cash for a high-end Jopen rabbit, this one might be the way to go.

Review: SSA Glass Sweet Lola

Kate Sloan

I am an unabashed fan of SSA Glass, even though their toys are cheap and probably not great quality, and apparently they are actually a Chinese glassware company.

Whatever, bro. I don’t even care. I have several of their toys and they’re all made of lovely borosilicate glass. They have a wide variety of shapes and sizes. And, most amazingly of all, every single SSA Glass toy comes with a red velvet storage bag – which is more than bigwig companies like Pipedream seem to be able to manage.

This time around, I got to try the Sweet Lola, a G-spotting dildo with a long, thin, straight shaft, and a tilted bulb at the end.

The Lola will not impress those whose G-spots need a C-shaped curve to be pleased, but for those of us whose spots are more easily impressed, it’s pretty lovely.

Like all glass G-spotters, it can provide intense, firm, unrelenting pressure. The circular handle makes the amount of pressure easy to control, and also ensures that the dildo won’t slip out of your hand even when it’s lubed. The handle’s slimness also makes it easy to use the Lola on a partner during oral sex, which I love. And of course, the handle also acts as a flared base, making the toy anal-safe as well.

The Lola has an insertable length of 5 ½", which allows it to go deeper than most people’s G-spots actually are. I can stimulate my A-spot with this toy, and can actually switch back and forth between the two spots fairly effortlessly. This makes it a very versatile toy.

While the bulb is 1 ½" at its widest point, the shaft is only 1" wide – so don’t get this if you crave the feeling of being filled up. The toy’s slimness would make it ideal for women with smaller/tighter vaginas who still want some G-spot lovin’ – like me!

I don’t know if I would change anything about this toy, to be honest. That doesn’t mean it’s necessarily “the perfect dildo,” but what it does, it does very well: it accesses my G-spot easily, and takes zero effort to hold onto.

The Sweet Lola gets my recommendation for someone wanting to buy their first glass dildo or explore their G-spot for the first time. Hell, I’m no novice and I still enjoyed it!

Review: Jimmyjane Hello Touch

Kate Sloan

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I don’t know how to feel about Jimmyjane. Their Form 2 is one of my favorite vibrators ever, but I hated their Iconic Rabbit. I enjoy their elegant, minimalist designs and marketing, but at the same time, they can be really pretentious sometimes.

Their newest release is the Hello Touch, a duo of tiny vibrators that you strap onto your fingers and operate via a control panel embedded in an accompanying wristband. It pretty much straddles that line between Jimmyjane’s great qualities and its annoying ones.

This review is a hard one for me to write, because the Hello Touch is marketed as a couples’ toy, so both my opinion and my boyfriend’s should be reflected in the review – and we disagree on this toy.

I like the Hello Touch’s aesthetic – it reminds me of iPod earphones and those armbands that athletic folks tuck their iPods into – but my boyfriend says he thinks it’s ugly and tacky-looking.

The finger-bands fit my fingers fine, but on my boyfriend, they’re uncomfortably tight. His fingertips were literally purple after using the Hello Touch for 20 minutes or so, and I don’t think he has freakishly big hands for a man. (I don’t know what his ring size is, but mine is 6, if that helps you at all.)

Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but: the Hello Touch is not powerful. It’s marketed as being three times as strong as any other fingertip vibrator, and that may well be true, but fingertip vibrators are infamously weak. Furthermore, it has only one speed, which is a dealbreaker for many women – including me, usually.

The Hello Touch runs on two AAAA batteries (who the fuck has AAAA batteries just lying around their house, by the way? Not me!), but it’s not much stronger than your typical watch battery bullet. You have to keep in mind, though, that the Hello Touch is not the kind of vibrator you just set down on your clit and leave it there til you come; the vibrations are meant to enhance the stimulation already being provided by fingers, which explains why they’re not that strong on their own.

The wristband is comfortable, stretchy, and has a compartment for the vibrator’s battery pack, on which the on and off buttons are located. This would be a great design, except for the fact that the buttons are impossible to push through the fabric of the wristband. Seriously, you have to press down soooo hard to get the vibe to turn on – and I know it’s not just due to me being a weakling, because my boyfriend had the same trouble. Every time, we’ve had to take the battery pack out of the wristband compartment and turn it on that way, which ruins the intended convenience of the wristband system.

With all that said, though, I actually enjoy the way the Hello Touch feels. My boyfriend is great at fingering, but it’s not usually enough stimulation to get me off, so the vibrations are a welcome addition.

You can wear the little vibrators on your fingerpads for maximum power, or you can flip ‘em around to the backs of your fingers, so that your fingertips themselves will vibrate. I like that last way better, both when masturbating and when having my boyf use the toy on me. It just feels… cool.

My man feels very strongly that the Hello Touch messes up his fingering mojo. He says he can’t really feel what he’s doing when the vibrators are strapped to his fingers, both because of the physical presence of the vibrators and because his fingertips go numb within minutes. However, I never noticed his performance suffering from the Hello Touch getting in the way.

At $65, the Hello Touch is one of Jimmyjane’s cheaper offerings, but even that seems a bit steep for a one-speed fingertip vibrator. It offers some pleasant sensations and makes for fun partner play, but I don’t know if the pleasure it brings me is really worth that much.

Ask Girly Juice: Vibrator Recommendations

Kate Sloan

Anonymous asked: I’m writing to ask you to offer a suggestion that would have these attributes: cordless (preferably rechargeable), mostly clitoral, body-safe, variety of sensations and intensities, and design-conscious without breaking the bank. Thank you.

Okay, I think I can do that!

Lelo has a few that might work. The Mia 2 and Siri are both rechargeable, have a variety of modes and settings, and are not too pricey, particularly if you can find them on sale.

Vibratex makes the Mini Magic Wand, a rechargeable, multi-mode vibe that I haven’t tried but that gets pretty good reviews. I also know that masturbation guru Betty Dodson swears by the Mystic Wand, another massager-style vibe that has several different patterns and settings.

The We-Vibe Salsa and Tango might be on the upper end of your price range, but they are some of the best rechargeable clit vibes out there. Super rumbly, small, discreet, quiet, waterproof, and they have a few different modes.

If you want something that can also be inserted, the Fun Factory Little Paul is a good option (though, again, it might be at the top end of what you’re willing to spend if you’re on a budget). Fun Factory is known for its deep vibrations and adorable-looking toys.

Hope that helps!