Ask Girly Juice: The Best of the Best (So Far)

Julie asked: Do you actually use all/most of the toys in your collection? It seems like a lot to have to keep in constant rotation.

Oh boy! No, I definitely don’t use every toy I own on a regular basis. Some of them sucked right off the bat, so I retired them immediately after finishing my review; some were okay, but not remarkable, so they only get used when I’m in an eccentric mood; some I have given away to friends because I disliked them or just felt ambivalent about them.

Out of my collection of 80+ toys, only a few really get used more than once a month.

My most-used toy is indubitably the Eroscillator. It lives on my bedside table and is plugged in at all times, because it’s my go-to toy for masturbation and for when I want to reach orgasm while my partner is fucking me. It’s perfect and always gets the job done.

Some other favorite vibrators of mine are the We-Vibe Tango and Jimmyjane Form 2. These tend to hang out on my nightstand as well, or in my top drawer. And lately I’ve fallen in love with the Wahl all over again – it provides the most intense clitoral orgasms I’ve ever experienced from a toy. Hot damn!

As for dildos… The one I reach for the most is the Tantus Acute. I like it because it’s a surprisingly great G-spot toy and it’s also small enough that I don’t have to warm up to it. Last night I actually seriously considered buying a second Acute incase something ever happens to mine, heaven forbid.

Some other oft-used dildos of mine are the Pure Wand (of course), the VixSkin Mustang, and the Ophoria Beyond 3 (it’s discontinued! Boooo!). Lately I’ve also been enjoying the absurdly satisfying Jopen Comet Wand, though I think it might be a bit too girthy and firm to become a toy I use all the time.

And as far as anal toys go, the Pure Plugs definitely reign supreme. I started with the medium and recently upgraded to the large, and both are top-notch plugs that I wear at least once every couple of weeks.

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Review: Lelo Gigi

Many times over the years, I’ve accompanied various friends to sex shops to help them pick out a vibrator. And many times, I’ve fawned over the Lelo Gigi, explaining the wonders of its rechargeability, G-spot curve, and elegant appearance. As a result, several of my friends have a Gigi of their own now – but I didn’t get one until just recently. (And yes, I did call up my friends and say, “We’re twins!”)

The Gigi is from Lelo’s first line of toys, and they’ve come a long way since then. The now-antiquated Gigi feels weak and buzzy compared to some of my other Lelo treasures, like the Siri and Mona. If you’re looking for power, this toy will disappoint you.

But it does have some redeeming qualities. For one thing, it’s incredibly beautiful. I don’t know if Lelo has gone in a less glamorous direction in recent years or if I just glamorize their original collection in my mind, but the Gigi is a stunner. It oozes femininity, feels amazingly smooth to the touch, and fits in my hand perfectly.

The G-spotting aspect is pretty good too, though I feel Mona does a better job of that. Gigi is shaped much like the Ella, Lelo’s G-spot dildo, which – although I like it – can’t provide the pressure that I need, because of its slightly bendy neck. The Gigi doesn’t have this problem, since it’s completely firm from tip to tail. However, it’s short – only about 4 ½” insertable – so it’ll only work for you if you have a fairly shallow G-spot (and, ideally, small hands so you can grip that little handle).

I can get off with the Gigi if I use its flat head on my clit, but it’s never anything spectacular. The vibrations are so surface-level that they start to desensitize me after just a few minutes, and they’re not even very strong – the highest speed always feels like not quite enough for me.

If you don’t mind a weak-ish, buzzy vibe as long as it’s beautiful, then you’ll be happy with the Gigi. But otherwise, I’d advise waiting around til Lelo inevitably releases a second version of this toy, with a stronger, rumblier motor.

Review: Vibratex G-Spotter attachment

The Vibratex G-Spotter attachment is designed to slip over the head of your Hitachi to make it more versatile. I wasn’t a fan of my Hitachi, so I gave it away to a friend, and as a result, I’ve been testing out my new G-Spotter on the Bodywand. It fits perfectly, because the two wands are almost identical in shape and size.

The G-Spotter is made of vinyl, which is porous and may or may not contain phthalates. It’s probably unreasonable for me to expect a $15 toy to have some semblance of safety and health-consciousness, but I’m still kind of annoyed that this attachment has a strong rubbery smell and can never be fully sanitized.

This dude tells me my G-spot should like “firm pressure with mild vibration,” and he’s half-right. I don’t typically like internal vibration, though sometimes I can be swayed to enjoy it if it’s very strong and I’m very turned on.

However, this attachment totally misses my G-spot every time. The curve isn’t extreme enough. I’m sure it would work for some folks vaginally, but it sure didn’t work for me.

Clitorally, though, it’s much better. It focuses the broad power of my Bodywand into an inch-wide tip that my clit really digs. And when I have the patience and arm strength to hold the wand in one hand and a dildo in the other, it can be a very satisfying experience.

There’s another way to use this attachment: you can insert the vaginal part all the way, so that the wand’s head is mashed up against your clit. I tried this and found that the G-spot stimulation was too indirect and the clit vibration was too broad and numbing, but someone out there would surely love this sensation.

You could also insert it anally, but I wouldn’t recommend that unless you don’t plan on using it any other way. Once you get ass bacteria into the pores of this vinyl attachment, that bacteria’s not going anywhere – it’s there for life, so think wisely (or buy two, and label them clearly).

In the end, while the G-Spotter attachment certainly isn’t the fanciest toy out there, it fulfills a pretty useful purpose: it focuses the brute strength of my Bodywand into a slim, clit-approved point. I’d like to upgrade to a silicone version eventually, so I won’t have to worry about sanitary issues, but for now, this’ll do.

Many thanks, Sex Toys Canada!

Review: Icicles No. 26

Last week I went to an introductory anal play workshop at my local sex toy store. The instructor warned, “The rectum curves, so toys made of hard materials like glass are not ideal if they’re longer than a couple of inches or so.” I nodded my agreement, but then, at the end of the workshop, I totally ignored her advice and bought an Icicles No. 26 butt plug. It was just so pretty. And, I rationalized, I had never tried a glass plug before.

I should have listened to the instructor. This plug has 4″ of insertable length, which is longer than a firm plug can comfortably be (at least, for my body) – and to make matters worse, the tip of it is pointy and pokes me in the rectal wall. Lovely.

The tapered tip makes insertion a lot easier, which is why it’s such a staple of anal toys everywhere, but in a toy this long and this hard, it’s just not a practical feature once the plug has been inserted. I can’t sit down while wearing this plug, because it feels like I’m going to puncture something.

The base is also annoying, as circular butt plug bases tend to be. It cuts into my asscheeks unrelentingly. Will anal toy designers (other than Tantus, Fun Factory, and Njoy) ever learn that cheeks exist?

On top of all those other complaints, I also found this plug too girthy at 1 ½”, but that’s a matter of personal preference. Just be aware that a glass plug will always feel thicker than a silicone one, even if it’s the exact same size, because glass does not squish to accommodate your body. Yet another reason why silicone is the best material for anal toys.

One of the only things that makes a glass butt toy worthwhile is that, if it’s clear, it allows a partner to look up your butt. For reasons I cannot personally empathize with, some people find this sexy. If you do, this is a good plug for that.

Aside from being a butt-o-scope, though, the Icicles No. 26 is really kind of awful. Pipedream makes another glass plug which looks plenty more manageable, so maybe I’ll try it once my ass recovers from its recent trials.

Review: Fun Factory G4 Patchy Paul

Vibrators don’t really excite me that much anymore. I’ve tried so many, and sometimes it feels like they’re all the same. Y’know?

But the Patchy Paul definitely excited me. After it spent months languishing in my wishlist, I finally decided to snap it up… and it delivered.

Fun Factory, particularly their line of G4 vibrators, is known for reeeeally intense and rumbly vibrations. This is not your mama’s vibrator (well, maybe it should be, because she would probably like it too!). This is a badass creation filled with pleasure potential.

Sometimes people ask me, “What can I get that has the power of a Hitachi without the dependence on an electrical outlet?” That’s a very tall order, and I’m not convinced that anything really fits the bill, but probably the closest is either a large Smart Wand or a G4 vibe. If your favorite masturbation accoutrements are slightly reminiscent of a jackhammer, you’ll love the motor in any G4 toy.

But why specifically the Patchy Paul? I chose it because I like texture, but not an insane amount of texture, and I also appreciate some G-spot lovin’. The Paul looks like a caterpillar, with a body that strokes your vaginal walls and a head that nuzzles your G-spot. It even has a little face – perfect for all you caterpillar fetishists out there. (Kidding. Those people aren’t reading this; they’re off looking at a nature blog somewhere. Duh.)

The Patchy Paul is rechargeable, 100% waterproof, and made of body-safe plastic and silicone. The only thing I don’t dig about it is that the vibrations are focused toward the middle of the shaft, not the tip of the toy where they ought to be… but they’re so strong that it doesn’t really affect my experience. I can use this toy vaginally or clitorally and either way, it rocks my ladyparts’ world.

The Patchy Paul has now officially become my favorite G-spot vibrator, right up there with the Lelo Mona. If you can get past its creepy caterpillar face, the two of you might end up being very happy together.