Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Lelo Adore Me Pleasure Set

Kate Sloan

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Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Lelo’s new Adore Me Pleasure Set is yet another addition to the giant pile of Fifty Shades-inspired products – but I would argue that if you’re going to succumb to the trend, this set is a fantastic way to do it.

The set contains three items: the Sutra chainlink cuffs, Intima silk blindfold, and Mia 2. All are lovely, high-quality pieces.

The handcuffs are made of suede and silk, with a metal chain connecting the two. They are supremely comfortable and luxurious. On each cuff, there’s a small metal clamp, so you can attach your hands together. You could also theoretically clamp yourself to your bed if there was a part of it that was slim enough to get the clamps around.

These cuffs are beautiful but I don’t think of them as serious tools of bondage, mainly because I can wriggle my wrists out of them fairly easily, what with them being made of soft materials. Folks with bigger hands may have a harder time getting free, though.

The blindfold is also beautiful. It’s made of silk, blocks out light very well, and has an elastic portion at the back for a comfortable fit.

However, I think it would be too small for many people. It feels a little tight on both me and my boyfriend and starts to feel a little uncomfortable after a few minutes.

The real star of this set is the gorgeous Mia 2, which ordinarily comes in pink, purple, or black, but can be acquired in red only through this set. I used to have an original Mia and liked it but didn’t love it; this update, I truly love.

The Mia 2 is noticeably stronger than its predecessor, and it’s now waterproof – but Lelo kept all the things that made the original Mia great, including its USB rechargeability, amazingly low noise level, elegant shape, and easy-to-press buttons.

The vibrations are sort of on the cusp between buzzy and rumbly. As someone who struggles with quick numbness from overly-buzzy vibes, I love love love the Mia 2. Clits-o’-steel will have trouble getting off with this, but I think it’s more than strong enough for the average user.

The Mia 2 is also, arguably, the perfect travel vibe. It’s lockable, quiet, can be charged anywhere there’s a computer with a USB port, and looks like a lipstick or a memory key. Really, I can’t think of a better vibrator for taking on a trip or tucking into your purse.

At $140, the Adore Me set isn’t cheap, but I think it’s a good value for what it is. You get two stunning soft bondage items and one swell clit vibe. If you need a Valentine’s gift for someone who’s a bit kinky and appreciates fine pleasure objects, it’s hard to go past Lelo.

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Merci, Lelo!

Review: Doc Johnson Reflections Serenity

Kate Sloan

The Doc Johnson Reflections Serenity is a glass G-spotting dildo that comes in either black or pink.

Because of its curve, firmness, and two differently-sized bulbs, it often gets characterized as a cheaper ($35) alternative to the Pure Wand. And while it is an okay dildo, there is nothing which can truly rival the Pure Wand. If you’re deadbent on getting a good G-spot toy, let me tell you right now that it is worth saving up the extra money for.

The main reason the Serenity doesn’t live up to its hype is that its curve is totally wimpy. All the promotional photos I’ve seen of the Serenity seem to be taken at a slight angle, making the toy’s curve look more extreme than it is. Next to many other G-spot toys, it may as well be a straight line.

That big bulb isn’t doing it any favors, either. It’s wider than the Pure Wand’s bigger bulb, at maybe 1.6" across, and it’s also wider than it is long, meaning that it feels really awkward and sometimes even painful during insertion and removal.

Plus, once it’s finally in me, I find that it doesn’t even stimulate my G-spot that well unless I tilt the handle way down toward my butt.

The smaller end, though, is weirdly kind of nice. I have difficulty explaining why, but it does a good job of finding and rubbing my G-spot. Not good enough to make the toy worthwhile overall, mind you, but at least I was able to get some enjoyment out of it.

If you’re looking for a G-spot toy that won’t seriously injure your bank account, there are way better ones out there. The Lelo Ella is $30, the Amethyst is $25, and the Acute is $32, for example. You don’t have to shell out for the Pure Wand, but you also don’t have to settle for the Serenity.

Thanks, Sex Toys Canada!

Review: Jopen Key Comet Wand

Kate Sloan

The Jopen Key Comet Wand is the must-have sex toy of 2013.

Yeah, I said it.

In previous years, everyone clamored over intriguing G-spot treasures like the Njoy Pure Wand, VixSkin Mustang, and Lelo Ella. And while I still love those toys, their time in the limelight is more-or-less over. The Comet Wand is the hot new star on the scene.

It has what is widely considered the holy trifecta of epic G-spot stimulation: a severe curve, a big bulbous head, and unrelenting firmness. This combination works for many people but you’ll want to look at your past experiences with G-spot toys to figure out if the Comet Wand is right for you. Some people have issues with curved toys catching on their pubic bone during thrusting, for example.

The Comet Wand is also too girthy for beginners, and even sometimes for me. It’s 1 ½" across at the widest point, and is 100% firm with no give whatsoever, so it’s certainly not a wimp, size-wise (but it’s not huge either).

That said, if your anatomy can contend with the Comet Wand’s size and curve, and if you like G-spot stimulation, you will freak the fuck out over this toy, guaranteed.

It provides some of the most intense G-spot sensations I’ve ever, ever encountered. I don’t squirt, but I can tell that if I did, this toy would be the catalyst of some very messy adventures. It feels so astonishingly good that sometimes I set down my clitoral vibe mid-session and just luxuriate in the sensations emanating from my vagina. That is not something that happens often for me.

The Comet Wand is made of glass dipped in smooth silicone. The glass gives it its firmness, while the silicone stops it from feeling deathly cold when you first touch it to your body. I love this combination of materials, though I will say that this particular formulation of silicone seems to eat lube like nobody’s business. I typically have to reapply at least 2 or 3 times per session. It’s worth it for me, but if you’re stingy with your lube, stay away from this dildo.

The only other real concern I have about the Comet Wand is the seam where the glass part meets the silicone. There’s a small dip that goes all the way around the toy and seems a likely culprit for collecting lube and juices. My G-spot is shallow enough that I haven’t ever needed to insert the Comet Wand that far, but liquids could still conceivably drip down into that crack, so get out your old toothbrush when it’s time for cleaning.

Other than those few issues, though… the Comet Wand is pretty close to perfect. It effortlessly strokes the fuck out of my G-spot and makes me thank my lucky stars I was born with a vagina. When sex toy reviewers look back on 2013 in a few years, they’ll think of the Comet.

Review: Leaf Spirit

Kate Sloan

Leaf is a company that tries desperately to market their toys as eco-friendly. First of all, they’re green, which looks cute as hell but doesn’t actually change their ecological footprint as far as I’m aware. Secondly, they’re rechargeable… like many, many other toys out there. And thirdly, they have a couple of other nice environmentally-conscious touches, like post-consumer recycled packaging and a natural canvas storage bag. If you’re eco-conscious, these vibes might appeal to you, but there’s really not that much setting them apart from any other rechargeable vibrator.

The one I chose, the Leaf Spirit, has a divine shape, which is what drew me to it. It’s tiny, curves to fit easily against my vulval mound, and has a gently pointed tip that my clit loves. It’s the kind of vibe that works well for use during missionary-style sex, because it fits so perfectly between bodies.

Aside from that, though, there isn’t much to love about the Spirit. Its motor, in particular, is hugely disappointing to me. At its highest speed, I’d say it’s comparable with the middle speeds of the Lelo Siri or maybe the lowest speed of the We-Vibe Tango. Translation: this is not for clits-o’-steel or even clits-o’-calcite.

Don’t get me wrong – the vibrations of the Spirit are nice (not so buzzy as to be numbing, yay!), they’re just not quite strong enough for me. If you find yourself staying on the low-to-middling speeds of your current vibrator (assuming it’s not the Hitachi or the Wahl, of course) then you might enjoy Leaf toys. I was able to reach orgasm with my Spirit once, but it took a long time and I had to pair it with a great G-spot dildo, which wouldn’t have been necessary with a vibe of passable strength.

The way the Spirit’s speed-changing mechanism works is kind of cool, if perhaps foreign to most toy users. You press its one button once to turn it on, and then hold it down any time you want to turn up the power. At any time, you can press it once to turn it off. This can be frustrating if you’re extremely accustomed to a different system, but I found it wasn’t that hard to get used to.

The Spirit has the added benefits of being waterproof and quiet, though I have to qualify that even if those are important criteria for you, the We-Vibe Tango is still better.

At about $120 depending on the store, the Leaf Spirit is ridiculously overpriced for a toy that really doesn’t deliver in the vibrations department. But if your clit is ultra-sensitive and you dig the sweet green aesthetic of Leaf toys, you might not be as disappointed as I was.

Review: Power VIP

Kate Sloan

Little information is available on the internet about the Power VIP vibrator. I got mine for $13 in JT’s Stockroom’s clearance section, where it’s known as the “Power Oscillator” – obviously intended to evoke my all-time favorite sex toy, the Eroscillator.

The toy arrived in an excessively large box which contained only the base unit and four attachments – no instructions. I looked up the toy’s distributor, Miko Exoticwear, hoping to get some information from them about the product’s origins and uses, but apparently Miko closed in 2008. I guess this explains why the Power VIP is listed as discontinued on many sites, and has ended up in the Stockroom clearance bin.

If you know a little about sex toys, you probably know that the Eroscillator is unparalleled. I don’t mean that it’s necessarily the greatest toy in the world – some people just don’t like it and don’t understand what the hype is about – but that there is truly no other toy like it. A few companies have attempted to make similar oscillating toys (oscillations, unlike vibrations, don’t cause numbness and tend to feel deeper), but these competitors have been massive failures. Naturally, the Power VIP is no different.

First off, the attachments. The box the toy came in (which is my only source of information about this product, given the lack of an instruction manual) says that they are made of a “hygienic fully washable material.” I have to wonder if this copywriter thought the only criteria for being hygienic is being washable; this is obviously a dysfunctional criteria, as even a rabid raccoon could be considered “hygienic” by these standards.

The attachments smell like horse manure. They seem to be made of some sort of rubber but I’m not sure. The strangest thing, though, is that none of the attachments are purportedly designed to be used on the clitoris. One of them is a “tongue” made for “all-over body massage,” one is a “plug” made for “vaginal and anal stimulation,” one is a “breast stimulator with nipple cup,” and one is intended for the G-spot. Surely this toy was designed by a man, one who is so out of touch with female anatomy and the sex toy world that he managed to completely forget about the clit.

My favorite attachment is the “plug.” It’s cylindrical and has little nubs all over it. I like it because it stimulates my entire clitoral shaft, and it seems to conduct the vibrations the best.

Did I say “vibrations”? Yes, I did. There’s no evidence that this toy actually oscillates. But, to its credit, it doesn’t actually claim to be an oscillator – only JT’s Stockroom slapped that label on it. The VIP’s box calls the toy a vibrator, so don’t be too disappointed that that’s exactly what it is.

The vibrations are, surprisingly, passable. There are only two settings, high and low. Low is laughably weak, but high is actually a nice speed that can bring me to orgasm in just a few minutes, rumbly enough that it doesn’t leave me numb.

The VIP is rechargeable, so you can’t expect the power of a plug-in vibrator, but it’s okay for what it is. But speaking of rechargeability… The VIP has a green light which turns on when it’s charging, but never seems to turn off. Even when I charge the damn thing for over 12 hours, that light remains on, so I never know if the toy is done charging or not. Needless to say, this is aggravating.

What little promotional material I’ve been able to find online about the Power VIP has claimed that it can last for up to 90 minutes on a charge (45 minutes on the high setting, which is the one I use 99% of the time). It’s certainly not going to break any records for best battery life, but it holds its charge pretty well when not in use.

While the Power VIP isn’t the worst vibrator I’ve ever used, I’m pissed that it’s advertised as an “oscillator” when it obviously can’t even live up to my love, let alone actually oscillate. Let this be a lesson to you, as if you didn’t already know: the clearance bin isn’t a good place to find the next toy that’ll rock your world.