Monthly Faves

Monthly Faves: Corona Coping with Comedy & Coach

Kate Sloan

Hope you’re holding up okay, loves. Here are some things that made my May more bearable…

Media

• First and foremost, I must direct you to watch all 3 episodes of Middleditch & Schwartz, a Netflix original miniseries of live longform improv shows. These two boys are some of the most skilled improvisors I’ve ever seen, and I say that as someone who used to improvise competitively and has been an improv fangirl/groupie her entire life! These specials gave me some much-needed laughs this month.

• Speaking of laughs, I also really enjoyed Bobby Knauff’s debut stand-up album Rock Bottom. I once saw Bobby perform comedy naked at the Oasis Aqualounge and have understandably liked him ever since!

• Have y’all seen These Thems?! It’s an adorable webseries about a bunch of queerdos flirting and fucking and learning about themselves. I think a lot of you would like it.

• I’ll probably write about this in more detail at some point – it’s still very fresh and I’m still processing it – but I recently took Clementine Morrigan’s online Trauma-Informed Polyamory workshop and it contains honestly potentially life-saving information for trauma survivors trying to do poly. If you struggle with “jealousy” in polyamory that manifests moreso as massive nervous-system distress, and you’ve endured traumas and/or attachment injuries, you really need this class.

• I’m slowly working my way through an advance copy of Emily Willingham’s forthcoming book Phallacy, a seemingly exhaustive and hugely amusing history of the evolution of the penis in humans and other animals. If you like dicks, to a nerdy and/or fetishistic degree, you’d probably dig this.

• Mae Martin’s 2017 stand-up special is full of laughs and truth-bombs about family, queerness, gender, unchillness, and summer camp.

Products

• Hot Octopuss sent me their new-ish bullet vibe, the Amo, and it’s… very fucking good. Powerful and rumbly, easy-to-understand controls scheme, and only $49!! I’ll write a full review eventually…

• Wearing makeup can be a major boon for my mood, but what with all the mask-wearing we’re doing these days, no one can ever see my lipstick (and it ends up getting all over my masks anyway!) so I bought some new eyeshadows from MAC. Hoping they’ll put a little femme spring in my step, despite the circumstances.

• I found a vintage black leather Coach Willis bag from the early oughts on eBay and it is stunning. Looking forward to the day I get to pack it full of books for a solo jaunt to a cocktail bar in a post-pandemic world.

• My partner and I are still making/drinking fancy cocktails on the regular. My current fave ingredients include sherries (fino and amontillado are both so yummy in different ways) and homemade ginger syrup. So many possibilities!

• I bought a pair of black leather flats on deep discount from J. Crew and they are sooo comfy and cute. I seem to go through at least one pair of black flats every summer; hopefully these ones will hold up for a while!

• My current handbag obsession is this silver Coach Poppy pushlock satchel. I don’t own one yet, because, well, as we discussed recently, there isn’t much need for handbags in the age of coronavirus. But I sure do like to stare at this one. Wish I could carry it to a black-tie gala right about now.

• For the first time in my life, I got fucked with a cucumber this month. Um… do you want a blog post about that experience?!

Work & Appearances

• I was so excited when local queer publication Xtra asked me to write them some pieces for Masturbation Month, because I always love working with them. Check out my recs for the best partner-play toys and the best masturbation toys for folks with chronic pain.

• My latest column for Herizons magazine was about a major media pet peeve of mine: when people verbify the MeToo movement to say that particular high-profile rapists have “been MeToo’d” when someone comes forward to allege their wrongdoing, as if it’s the perpetrator’s life who’s been ruined and not the victim’s. Yuck.

• The good folks at LoveLustSecrets asked me to write a series of short erotica stories for them, and I decided to have it center around a plucky redheaded sex shop saleswoman named Ava. Some of my favorite instalments: a welcome-back blowjob, a Clone-a-Willy fuck, some fisting flirtation, and an alleyway wank.

• We had some great guests on the Dildorks this month: first, the author and theologian Tara Isabella Burton came to chat with us about how ethics and religion intersect with kink and non-monogamy, and then we had polyamory experts Kevin Patterson and Dr. Liz Powell on to discuss solutions to common polyam problems during the pandemic. We also addressed a bunch of listener questions about masturbation.

• I wrote some good newsletters this month about 5 kinks I wish I had, happiness during a crisis, my obsession du jour with barbershop quartets, and autofellatio.

Good Causes

• Police violence against Black folks, along with their disproportionate and unfair imprisonment rates, continue to be a rampant problem. The Minnesota Freedom Fund‘s mission is to “pay criminal bail and immigration bond for those who cannot afford to as we seek to end discriminatory, coercive, and oppressive jailing.” A similar organization in New York is the Brooklyn Community Bail Fund.

• Help support street medics’ vitally important work by donating to the North Star Health Collective.

• The family of Regis Korchinski-Paquet is raising funds toward seeking justice for her death (which some are reporting was another incidence of racist police violence, right here in Toronto).

• Food Banks Canada could really use your help getting more food into the hands of those who need it.

• Queer porn legend and superstar stripper Andre Shakti is raising money for protection and housing in the wake of a domestic abuse situation.

Monthly Faves: Sketches, Netflix, & Swizzle Sticks

Kate Sloan

Hello! This month I’m going to stray from my usual Monthly Faves format, because – honestly, y’all? – sex toys and sexual fantasies have not exactly topped my list of priorities since the whole COVID thing started. (I’m sure many of you can relate.) So without further ado, here are some of the things that got me through April…

Media

• I randomly remembered that the movie Oceans 8 existed and that I’d wanted to see it since it came out, so my partner and I watched it together. If you don’t know, it’s a heist movie starring a shocking number of powerful and beautiful Hollywood women: Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, et al. Also Rihanna plays a brilliant stoner/hacker. Basically it’s a must-watch, especially if (like me) you love movies about con artists, thieves, and scammers.

• Queer Canadian comedian Mae Martin (whew, try saying that 5 times fast!) created and starred in a new Netflix series called Feel Good, which is both very funny and very devastating. It’s about queerness, drug addiction, love addiction, coming out of the closet (or not), figuring out your gender (or not), and repairing broken relationships (or not). I adored it, though if you struggle with addiction, it might be a tough watch for you.

• Reading pandemic-related fiction is a bit of an emotional gamble these days, to say the least, but I gave it a shot anyway and really enjoyed Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel. It’s set in a post-apocalyptic world where survivors are trying to pick up the pieces after a swine flu mutation suddenly kills 99.99% of the earth’s population and society as we know it completely crumbles. While that sounds pretty horrific – and at times, it is – the ending, and the conclusions to be drawn from the story, are (I think) ultimately hopeful and encouraging. Along similar lines, Severance by Ling Ma is also about a civilization-destroying pandemic, but deals more with the racism, classism, and capitalist bullshit that can be exacerbated by disasters like this.

• I celebrated my 28th birthday this month, and it was one of the strangest birthdays I’ve ever had, for obvious reasons! However, I put together a little Zoom party with a bunch of friends and we played Use Your Words, my friend Brent’s party game “for funny people and their unfunny friends.” I’ve been playing it for years and it still always makes me laugh!

• One of my fave local comedy troupes, the Sketchersons, have been continuing their weekly sketch show Sunday Night Live from the comfort of their own individual homes. They’re performing topical humor LIVE every week over Zoom (or some Zoom-like service). It is one of the most innovative and creative things I’ve seen during all of this, and I would highly recommend you tune in sometime!

• Another fave livestreamed event of mine this month was Broadway.com’s tribute to Stephen Sondheim for his 90th birthday. It got off to a rocky start due to technical problems – I still feel so bad for host Raúl Esparza that we didn’t get to see as much of him as planned – but the musical performances were top-notch. Someone please cast Beanie Feldstein as the Baker’s Wife in a new production of Into the Woods ASAP when this is all over!

Products

• Fed up with my constantly overcrowded nightstand, I ordered a felt storage pocket that attaches to the side of your bed, and have been stashing all my various devices and must-haves in there (Kindle, Switch, 3DS, notebook and pen, earbuds). It has weirdly made me feel much more sane and calm in these trying times. Hey, whatever works!

• I also bought a pink organizer for all my sex toy charging cables. They formerly were just shoved into a small drawer willy-nilly, which obviously wasn’t working, so it was nice to finally get to organize them. Ahh, I love orderliness!

• I am still living in my MeUndies lounge pants. My partner and I each ordered a new pair this month – a quarantine-appropriate splurge, if you will – and they are a godsend. Comfy! Cute! Pockets!

• In the past month I have bought reusable fabric face masks from four different shops: Pacha Indigenous Art Collection, Peace Collective, FickleFaerie and DinkyBums. Really appreciating all these independent creators making beautiful masks, and often also donating masks or money to frontline workers as part of their operations. (Side note: I’m definitely also lusting after a sequinned mask like Rachel Syme has.)

• My partner and I have been beefing up my home bar situation since they arrived here last month, because good-quality cocktails sure make staying at home more bearable. Some of my favorite acquisitions: pre-batched tiki cocktails from the Shameful Tiki Room, olive brine from the Cocktail Emporium (I love me a dirty martini), ornate martini glasses my mom gave me for my birthday, and an assortment of weird liquors and liqueurs from Civil Liberties.

Work & Appearances

• PinkCherry asked me to write a piece about sexual empowerment for them, so I wrote this essay about breaking the habit of apologizing during sex. This problem is so real!

• Wanna hear me wax poetic about kink, power, and systemic oppression? Good thing I discussed those very topics with Leela Sinha on zir podcast Power Pivot this month!

• We’ve been doing lots of great stuff on my podcasts The Dildorks and Question Box lately, but I particularly want to draw your attention to our recent 4/20 episodes. In both of them, we got super high and answered strange questions. They’re a hoot!

• In my newsletter this month, I wrote about libido in the time of coronavirus, merciful silence toward the men in my DMs, what Animal Crossing taught me about my gender presentation, and why you should wear your nicest underwear now.

Good Causes

• The Glad Day Emergency Survival Fund is putting money into the pockets of LGBTQ+ artists, performers, and tip-based workers, as well as keeping the Glad Day Bookshop (an institution in Toronto’s queer scene) from going under.

• Here’s a mutual aid fund for “trans and queer Black and Indigenous people and other trans and queer people of color, ESPECIALLY those who are sex workers, undocumented, disabled, and/or incarcerated.” These groups are especially struggling right now.

• Tuck Woodstock, who hosts the incredible Gender Reveal podcast, is raising money for trans and non-binary people who need it in this unprecedented time.

• If you’ve been reading a lot lately, like me, I would strongly recommend shopping for new books through Bookshop.org. Purchases help financially support local, independent bookstores, which could really use the boost, especially right now.

• From what I’ve been reading, a lot of food banks need money more than they need food donations right now, for various reasons. If you’re able, Google around for your local food bank and send them some cash so the folks who rely on them can keep food on the table. I gave some to FoodShare this month, in memory of my grandmother Jean, who believed in feeding someone as a way of taking care of them. 💙

 

What’s been getting you through these difficult times? Let me know in the comments!

Monthly Faves: Robots, Doctors, & Hearts

Kate Sloan

Wow, what a wild month. I hope you’re keeping well in this unprecedented time, my loves. In an attempt at recapturing normalcy, here’s a list of sexy and sexy-adjacent things I enjoyed this month…

Sex toys

• My favorite sex-related acquisition of the month was my hot pink Clone-a-Willy. I mean, of course it’s my favorite – it’s my partner’s dick, immortalized in silicone. Getting fucked with it has been a delight.

• When we did a Dildorks episode wherein I hypnotized Bex (you can watch the video here if you’re a Patreon supporter of ours, or if you choose to become one), I used my trusty pink Tarina Tarantino heart necklace as a pendulum for the inductions. I really can’t think of an object I’d like better for this purpose. #HypnoFemme

• Sutil has become my favorite lube brand, and this month they sent me a care package containing enough lube to last me the rest of the year, at least. Their “Rich” lube is a must-have for me these days – it’s thick and long-lasting enough for just about any sexual activity I get up to.

Fantasy fodder

• I asked my partner a while ago what kind of content I should write about COVID-19 and one of the things they suggested was medical roleplay… At first I was like “TOO SOON!” but honestly, turning my anxiety-fuelled daymares into over-the-top sexual fantasies about doctors and masks, etc. has been a helpful coping mechanism for me! If you have coronavirus-related sexual fantasies (and don’t think it’s gauche to discuss them), feel free to sound off in the comments…

• Lately my partner has been coming fairly regularly while giving me oral sex – through a combination of grinding against the sheets and just finding my vulva/sounds/wetness really hot, apparently – and it really brings new meaning to the whole interaction. I’m much more able to relax into receiving sensation, even for a long time, if I feel like my pleasure is hugely pleasurable for my partner as well!

• My partner and I have been working our way through Westworld (more on that in the Media section) and it’s full of delicious perviness. The idea of being a sex robot built specifically to give pleasure – and of not even knowing that that’s what you’re for – is immensely hot to me… not to mention the low-key hypnokink stuff that’s all over that show!

Sexcetera

• Some of my work elsewhere this month: In my newsletter, I wrote about sex when you’re sick, pandemic anxiety coping methods, and why bars are the places I miss most at this time. On The Dildorks, we interviewed JoEllen Notte about sex and depression, did a hypno scene, and talked about solo kink and sex and dating in the time of coronavirus. Our guests on Question Box included sex writer Ana Valens, voiceover artist Sarah Sumeray, and my brother Max – and we also did a St. Patrick’s Day special where Brent and I got extremely drunk (go look it up in your podcatcher of choice; it’s a hoot). I also guested on the Sofia Gray podcast to talk about pubic hair, and my pal Erin Pim invited me back onto the Bed Post podcast for an enlightening discussion about keeping long-distance relationships fun and sexy (very relevant right now!).

• Ever wanted to see my partner give me a spanking? Good news: now you can rent a scene on MakeLoveNotPorn depicting just that! It’s a video of our traditional New Year’s spanking (yes, it’s a few months old now), where my Sir makes me list my achievements and goals between hits. I think you’ll dig it!

• Sextistics: This month I had phone sex 12 times, and then my partner came to stay with me and we had in-person sex 13+ times (it isn’t quite the end of the month yet at time of writing so I’m not sure of the total). Look, you gotta fill those quarantine hours somehow!

Fashion & beauty

• The great Rachel Syme started a hashtag called #DistanceButMakeItFashion wherein people are encouraged to dress up despite the lack of anywhere to go, and post pictures of their fancy outfits. It’s become a Sunday tradition but you can really do it any time. I enjoyed getting dolled up in shades of blue, and (on another occasion) swathing myself in velvet and doing a sharp cut crease.

• Did you know Zenni makes PRESCRIPTION heart-shaped glasses?! I got myself a pair in red, and I absolutely love them. When I bought them, I figured I’d only bust them out on special occasions, but I’ve actually been wearing them almost every time I leave the house for a socially-distanced walk or a rare trip to the store – I feel that I might as well brighten people’s days in these bleak times if I can, and they make me feel cute as hell, too!

• My pal Clementine Morrigan has a new T-shirt available featuring gorgeous art from one of their zines. I am loving mine!

Media

• I’m late to the party but I finally started watching Westworld, HBO’s dark thriller about an Old West-themed amusement park staffed with sentient robots who slowly start to realize that their world and their very existence are a contrivance. Lots of people recommended this show to me back when I was working on a piece about how sex robots could shape our sexual culture, and they were right to do so: it’s full of tricky ethical questions about sadism, solipsism, and the nature of artificial intelligence.

• Like seemingly everyone on Twitter right now, I am obsessed with the new Animal Crossing game, New Horizons. It’s an extremely relaxing and adorable life simulation game. I’ve been fishing and crafting my troubles away!

• One of my favorite distractions these days is the YouTube channel How to Drink, which my partner introduced me to a while ago. Greg, the affable host, makes excellent cocktails while jovially explaining how you can make them too. His 4-hour-long “quarantine special” livestream was a breath of fresh air – he taught us all how to make a “quarantini” while being good-natured and sweet and cute. Thanks for the escapism (and the drink ideas), Greg.

Little things

My therapist being excited to hear that I did shrooms. A flower from Zoe as an “It’s almost your birthday!” gift. Getting overly dressed up for karaoke. Kale salad at Insomnia. Watching Cats with the rowdy Drunk Feminist Films crew and my mom. Taking socially-distanced walks through parks and down to the harbor. FaceTiming with the fam. My surprisingly awesome tax advisor (and the relief of getting my taxes paid on time). At-home cocktails lovingly prepared by my sweetheart. Wearing bright colors to combat the gloominess of the weather and just, y’know, the world right now. Use Your Words nights with Dan and Sarah. Owning an embarrassment of peanut butter. Livestreams from Civil Liberties. Being with my love, who makes me feel safe even when the world is scary.

Monthly Faves: Silk Slips & Sex Ed

Kate Sloan

I spent most of February with my sweetheart in New York so I had a lot of comfy-cozy, dependably good sex this month. Here are some highlights…

Sex toys

• Fun Factory sent me their Stronic G pulsator this month and, as I noted in my review, it’s quite unique and wonderful. My partner did a good job of fucking me with it, and on one occasion, I even fucked them with it! Aww, romantic.

• One of my Valentine’s Day gifts from my very sweet partner was a Carter dildo from New York Toy Collective. I’ve wanted this bendable realistic dildo for a looong time, especially because it comes in a pink and blue colorway that makes me deliriously happy. While I haven’t gotten to try it for pegging yet, I’ve enjoyed getting fucked with it (and walking around with it strapped on!).

• I got zapped a whole bunch with the Neon Wand and Power Tripper combo this month, which – if you don’t know – allows the user to conduct electricity through their body so they can zap a partner with just their touch. It’s really a sadomasochist’s wet dream, and has become a fixture on our regular rotation of pain-play items (along with candles for wax play, the weird scratchy thing, and various impact implements).

Fantasy fodder

• Many of my most recurrent fantasies are just convoluted setups for receiving exceptionally good cunnilingus… This month I often found my mind drifting to the idea of an American Idol-esque oral sex competition where I am a discerning judge.

• I enjoyed live-tweeting a new Crash Pad Series scene where a very pregnant Dylan Ryan has raucously queer sex with her real-life partner. Most notably, I loved how good Dylan is at advocating for her own pleasure and comfort. #SexGoals!

• Watching Sex Education on Netflix has made me reflect on how exciting it can be to embark on your first (fumbling, imperfect) sexual adventures… As a result, I’ve been fantasizing a lot about surreptitious “first times” in hushed bedrooms or school supply closets!

Sexcetera

• I recently guested on Trends Like These again to discuss a number of complex issues with my friend Brent, like the cultural legacy of South Park, the ethics of reading your partner’s texts, and the ubiquity of domestic violence. Always a pleasure to get to have such smart conversations with such a smart person!

• In other podcast news: we had amazing guests like Kevin Allison and Dick Wound on Question Box this month, and on the Dildorks we talked about play parties, collars, and photography. My newsletter touched on well-worn kinky relationships, the ways in which hearts and clits are similar, the worst Valentine’s Day of my life, and how damn good it can feel to unfollow people you dislike.

• Sextistics: in February I had in-person sex 20 times and phone sex a scant 5 times, for a total of 25 sessions in 29 days. Pretty great 😎

Fashion & beauty

• After years of occasionally combing eBay for the infamous American Apparel figure skater dress in my size and in colors I didn’t already have, I finally scored one in bright red for a reasonable price and wore it on Valentine’s Day, along with a pink cardigan and pink heart necklace. I am nothing if not festive.

• I bought some new glasses for the first time in ~3 years and I love them all. In the past few months I’ve cut my hair short, gotten new glasses, and amped up my skincare, and I feel like a new woman!

• A couple months ago, I bought a pink and purple hand-dyed vintage nightgown at a vintage shop in Kensington Market, thinking I might later wear it on an anniversary date – but then I ended up wearing something else instead. I was glad, then, to be able to bust out the gown for a fancy-dress house party my partner and I got invited to when I was in New York. I paired it with black tights and my sky-blue Manolos and felt like a stunner all night.

Media

• I’ve been reading all the Oliver Sacks books I can get my hands on lately. If you don’t know, Sacks was a neurologist who documented unusual medical cases in beautifully written anthologies of case histories. I think my favorite ones I’ve read so far are The Mind’s Eye and Seeing Voices (on optical problems and deafness, respectively).

• I finally got around to watching Parasite, and like seemingly most people who’ve seen it, I adored it. What a striking portrait of class and privilege, told in a way that is somehow both hilarious and harrowing.

• Like many others in my field, I’ve been watching and loving Sex Education on Netflix. It’s a charming and sweet show about a sex-nerdy high-schooler and his diverse array of horny friends and classmates. I’m sad I’ve run out of episodes to watch!

Little things

Heart-shaped donuts. Queer bars. Being paid to write erotica. Hilariously bad customs photos. Helping a friend execute a romantic plan for her partner. Perfectly-phrased sentences. Sitting in the front row at improv shows with my love. Reading about psychology in the bath. Getting complimented on our matching outfits. Omakase sushi. Doing shrooms for the first time (!!) with a close pal watching over me. The Producers and Roger Bart. Listening to Andy Shauf on the bus. Lounging around in Matt’s plush floor-length bathrobe. Late-night meals at L’Express. Hypnotizing Bex. Receiving the compliment “That’s a great question!”

Monthly Faves: Creeps, Couture, & California

Kate Sloan

This month was a wacky one: I traveled too much, worked too much, and had too much sex (okay, actually, maybe not enough). Here are some January highlights…

Sex toys

• I was so excited when I saw that We-Vibe has launched a new wand vibe, and when they offered me one to review. It does not disappoint: it’s waterproof and rechargeable, the vibrations are rumbly and strong, and you can use standard-sized wand attachments with it but it’s more ergonomic and sleek than your average wand. There are some problems with the controls scheme on mine (I’ll say more about that when I do a full review), but overall I’m quite pleased with this toy. Thanks, We-Vibe!

• Another We-Vibe thing: they sent me their new Chorus vibe in a vibrant, glittery pink (eee!) and my partner controlled it via the We-Connect app during a phone sex session. I’m very impressed with the motor, and with the way this toy stays connected to the app way more consistently than previous iterations. My partner still finds that the app is too buggy and imprecise for their style of dominance; hopefully We-Vibe will update it and smooth things out.

• I revisited the Zumio S this month after chatting with a Zumio employee at ANME and thinking, “Huh, I haven’t used that thing in a while.” The slightly wider tip really does help to diffuse this toy’s intense oscillations so they’re more tolerable for folks with sensitive clits like moi. Orgasms with this toy are always zanily intense!

Fantasy fodder

• I’ve dug into season 2 of Netflix’s You, a quirky dramedy about a pathological stalker and murderer who’s also a mega-romantic. It has been described as “Dawson’s Creek meets Dexter” and that’s pretty spot-on. There are a few sex scenes in this show, but my favorite and most-fantasized-about one will always be the first one with Beck from season 1, where (spoiler alert) our deranged hero Joe finally gets to bang the girl he’s been crushing on, and… comes, instantly. (As we’ve discussed, I definitely have a premature ejaculation kink!) That sense of desperation, of “I’m so lucky to be here” and “I can’t believe this is really happening,” gives me alllll sorts of kink feelings about Joe – and it’s especially interesting juxtaposed with the way he also seems to want to be a dom and/or a vaguely daddy-esque figure to the women he dates.

• One of my frequent fantasies while receiving oral sex lately has been about a sexual dystopia where clitoral suction – as opposed to a more licking-centric style of cunnilingus – is so stigmatized that you have to seek it out in secret from skilled underground practitioners. Why is my brain like this? I don’t know.

Sexcetera

• The deadline for my book was on the 17th, and I managed to get my draft submitted 2 days early! I’m still acclimatizing myself to having so much extra time and brain-space after working so hard on this project for months upon months… It’s supposed to come out in March 2021, so sit tight!

• It was lovely to be able to attend ANME Founders in Burbank this year – although admittedly, my body was not thrilled about the jet lag and long flights! In any case, I got to hang out with my best friend, see what’s new in the sex toy industry, and chat with some industry pals – all under the California sun. ☀️

• Sextistics: this month I had in-person sex 21 times and phone sex 9 times, totaling 30 sessions.

Fashion & beauty

• I was traveling for more than half of this month, so skincare became extra important to me – planes and stress turn my skin to garbage which, in turn, makes me feel like garbage! I’ve been enjoying Kate Somerville exfoliation products, and serums by The Ordinary.

• Been kinda obsessed with designer shoes lately. First there was the royal blue Loubs. Then there was the sky blue Manolos. Then there was the simple, pointy black Cole Haans. I think that’s all I need for now, but staring at fancy shoes online sure calms me down when I feel overwrought.

• In December, I cut my hair short! I love it. Products by DevaCurl have become must-haves for me now. Scrunch, scrunch, scrunch!

Media

• Did you know John Mulaney made a kids’ special called John Mulaney & the Sack Lunch Bunch? I expected it to be fairly silly, and it is, but it’s also stuck with me a lot since I watched it. Jake Gyllenhaal’s guest appearance as an unhinged music teacher is a highlight – but I gotta say, my favorite song in the show is definitely “I Saw A White Lady Standing On The Street Just Sobbing (And I Think About It Once A Week).”

• If you’re not listening to You’re Wrong About yet, you are MISSING OUT. I’m usually not much for podcasts that discuss historical or news events in painstaking detail, but this one is exceptional, not least because the two hosts are some of the most empathetic, thoughtful humans ever to sit in front of a microphone. Their current multi-part series on the O.J. Simpson trial is magnificent.

• Andy Shauf’s new album The Neon Skyline is the fictional, musicalized story of one drunken, heartbroken night at a Toronto dive bar. As with everything Andy writes, it’s lovely and occasionally devastating.

Little things

Ringing in the new year with kisses and eggnog in New Jersey. Being overdressed for Starbucks. Obliging doormen. Matt reading my book chapters aloud to me every night during the writing process. A big night out for family-style Italian food and Hamilton. Dirty gin martinis. Getting ridiculously dressed up for a very fancy party. Matt taking my heels off me and putting my flats on me in the lobby of a luxury hotel. Lovably persnickety bartenders. Getting to write about Tegan and Sara for Herizons mag (it’ll be in the next issue, I think). Surprising Matt with tickets to Little Shop for their birthday (it greatly surpassed my already-high expectations). John from Uberlube announcing “Who wants lube?!” and handing out bottles of the stuff. Strategizing over fast food lunches. Bex domming me back to our hotel room when I accidentally got way too high on California weed. Editing my book for 5 hours in the Burbank Marriott lobby, and then getting veggie pasta and Southsides while reading Oliver Sacks. Cashing big checks. Buying new glasses (much-needed). Jazz and cocktails at the Flatiron Room. Watching Jacqueline Novak rant about blowjobs for an hour. Meeting cool people from Twitter for good drinks and good conversation. A sweet needlepoint gift from Eric. Complimenting hospitality staff on being excellent at their jobs. Incredible seafood platters. Belgian waffles at Café Landwer. Rhea Butcher saying they bought “women’s vitamins” because no one makes non-binary vitamins yet. Getting the “couples’ seat” at the Bad Dog Theatre and laughing so hard my glasses fog up. One of our favorite bartenders announcing “Bubbles!!” and bringing us champagne. Watching Jeremy & Elsie Larson’s daughters grow up. Penn Badgley’s feminism. Microwaveable heating pads. Reliable vibrators. Long-term love.