Blogging & Writing

5 Ways I Make Money As a Blogger

Kate Sloan

This is one of the questions I get asked most often about blogging, so I figured it was time to address it in more detail!

While I don’t know that I’d consider blogging my full-time job, for the past few years years it’s brought in about 45-65% of my total income. Here are the main avenues through which I make money from running this blog…

 

Sponsored content

This is the biggest aspect of what I do here, income generation-wise; sponsored posts brought in 44% of my total blog income in 2020. For the first couple years that I blogged here, I was very resistant to taking on sponsored post assignments – but then I started learning from the lovely ladies of the Blogcademy about what a good sponsored post can be. The best ones, IMO, are entertaining, valuable for readers, and written in your blog’s usual style/voice. After all, that’s what your readers are there for!

Usually, I get a fair amount of freedom to pick the topics and details of my sponsored posts – in part because I basically require this when negotiating deals with potential clients – so all I have to do that’s out of the ordinary is find a way to incorporate 1-3 specific links, with specific keywords, as per the client’s request. I love doing sponsored posts because they allow me to get paid for doing what I like best: writing for my audience, about (mostly) whatever the hell I feel like writing about!

(By the way, a lot of companies seem to think “sponsored post” and “guest post” are synonymous. I get many requests per week to repost someone else’s writing here, in exchange for a fee – but I started this blog because I love to write, not because I love to get paid to post other people’s content! So if someone refuses to let me write the post myself, I tell them we’re not a good fit and bid them adieu.)

 

Advertising

You might notice that there are some banner ads over there in my sidebar, and some text links toward the bottom. These aren’t huge moneymakers – mine made up about 20% of my total blog income last year – but that’s still nothing to sneeze at.

I have similar policies for ads as I do for sponsored content: they have to be relevant to my readership and in line with my ethics. I reserve the right to refuse ads that I consider sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc., which thankfully hasn’t been much of a problem in the time that I’ve been blogging.

 

Affiliate commissions

Affiliate commissions made up about 35% of my total blog income last year. When I write about sex toys, I often (though not always) use affiliate links. That way, if a reader ends up buying a product through my link, I get a small kickback from that purchase (usually 15-20%) at no added cost to the customer. It’s essentially a way that toy-makers and retailers can incentivize writers to mention their products, and can reward them for doing so.

However, contrary to what some people think, this doesn’t necessarily mean that writers are lying about products when they use affiliate links! See, if I told you a product was great when it actually sucked, or if I wrote something I obviously didn’t actually believe, my readers would figure that out pretty quick and would stop trusting me – which, of course, would not be great for my continued ability to make a living in this field! I also have several affiliates who carry approximately a zillion different products, so there’s very little reason for me to link to a product I don’t like when I could just link to one I do like instead.

 

Consulting

While there are hundreds upon hundreds of blog posts’ worth of information on this site, I can’t answer every single specific question my readers may have. In some cases, they write to me to book a consulting session, so I can advise them (usually via email, sometimes via Skype/Zoom/etc.) on a specific problem they’re having in their life, related to sex, kink, relationships, or something else that I know a thing or two about.

I don’t take on too many of these clients these days because frankly I’m usually too overrun with other projects, but it is nice to be able to help folks from time to time.

 

Other writing assignments

I don’t count the income from non-blog writing when tallying up how much money my blog has made each year, because it is a separate thing – but in some cases, I wouldn’t have been offered an assignment if not for this blog!

Sometimes companies reach out wanting me to write for their on-site blog, or to do copywriting for their product pages. Sometimes editors at publications ask me to expand on a particular topic for their site, having seen me mention said topic here before. A couple times, commissioning editors at publishing houses have even reached out to ask me about writing books for them. “Exposure” isn’t good enough payment on its own, as any frustrated freelancer will tell you – but the exposure I get from this blog often gets me gigs that pay in actual money. Cool!

 

Fellow “pro bloggers,” where does the bulk of your income come from?

P.S. Want more posts like this? Check out the “writing” category of this site!

12 Days of Girly Juice 2020: 11 Favorite Blog Posts

Kate Sloan
Blogger babe in her natural habitat, i.e. reading a sex book and drinking a cocktail in bed

By the time this year is over, I will have published 108+ blog posts on this website in 2020… Wow. Not as many as some previous years, but pretty good, considering that this year we had to deal with pandemic depression/displacement, and I also finished my book and got married!

It was a tough choice, but I think these are my 11 favorite blog posts I wrote this year… Feel free to go back and check ’em out if you’re looking for something to read!

 

I started off the year by writing about “The Most Beautiful Shoes in the World.” It’s a love letter to Loubs, a tribute to towering shoes, a manifesto on wobbly glamour. It’s also an essay about the tension between feminism and wanting/wearing pretty things, which unfortunately is a debate we’re still having in 2020.

Sometimes I write posts just as much for my own benefit as for my readers’, and that was the case with “Party-Going Tips for Shy, Anxious Introverts”! Most of this advice is fairly straightforward, but anxiety can make it difficult to remember even the most basic of coping mechanisms at the moment that you need them – so it’s good to have a “cheat sheet” at the ready, for whenever we can attend parties in person again!

Doing shrooms for the first time was definitely one of the most exciting things I did all year, so it was a lot of fun to write “20 Questions About My First Shrooms Trip.” I had some shrooms left over that I planned to use while alone at some point, but I think they’ve long since expired because I felt it would be too depressing/disorienting to do trippy psychedelics during a pandemic – even small sad things made me cry when I talked about them while tripping, so I thought it best to avoid shrooms while the world is so full of big sad things that are front-and-centre in our perception every day!

Writing fashion posts is a lot of fun for me, and I was glad to be able to do a lot more of that this year. It kinda surprised me that I hadn’t already written “What to Wear on Valentine’s Day” because I have a lot of opinions on this subject! In a broader sense, I think this is a post about the psychologically restorative power of dressing in a celebratory way – something that felt crucially important for me and many others while we were stuck at home for much of the year.

Sometimes it’s nice to write something really simple, like “How to Do Solo Foreplay.” Working in sex media for so long has shown me that some of the most “basic” sexual questions are ones that aren’t answered sufficiently in sex education, so a lot of people turn to Google, hoping it’ll fill them in. I also think solo foreplay became a particularly relevant topic this year even for sexually knowledgeable people, because masturbating and having sex during a pandemic (and, later, an attempted coup) is a whole different vibe and requires you to tune out your surroundings and tune into your pleasure even more than usual.

I was delighted to finally get to review the Clone-a-Willy after wanting one for many years! Writing this review was especially fun because it was more about a scientific process than a finished product. I really like how ours came out, and will probably do another one sometime soonish, since my pals at TheVibed recently sent me a glow-in-the-dark Clone-a-Willy kit as a wedding present!

I’m still as annoyed as I was when I wrote “Le Wand Keeps Copying Other Companies’ Sex Toy Designs,” especially since I’ve observed and heard about even more instances of this since I wrote that post (including the striking and no doubt not-coincidental similarities between Le Wand’s B-Vibe plugs and an older Mr. S Leather butt plug [link very NSFW], a fact I edited into my post after publication). I don’t want to be mad at Le Wand, and I wish they were better – I just really dislike plagiarism and think it’s inexcusable, especially in a field like sex toys where so many people struggle so much to get their original and inventive designs seen and produced. I hope this becomes less of a problem in 2021, but I’m not holding my breath.

I wrote “Handbags in the Age of Coronavirus” during a spell of femme obsession with leather bags galore. Despite being partly a celebration of materialism, it was also a contemplative essay on the role of aesthetic-based consumerism during a demoralizing pandemic, and the uselessness/usefulness of handbags while many of us were forced to stay home. (I ended up buying 3 new bags this year, if you’re wondering!)

Solo dates are one of the things I’ve missed most during the pandemic. Maybe it’s odd to miss a solitary experience in a year so full of loneliness and isolation… but a solo date isn’t quite a solitary experience, because mine always take place at locations other people also frequent, like bars, bookstores, and movie theatres. I wrote “15 Ways to Take Yourself on a Date During COVID Times” both for myself and for my readers, because I had been sorely missing the introvert-recharging powers of solo dates for those months of quarantine. Sadly, this post is still relevant 5 months later… although most of my suggestions require more outerwear now than they did then!

“How to Write 1,000 Blog Posts” was me reflecting on the ridiculous archive of writing I’ve built up here and trying to offer some advice on long-term blogging – including on idea generation, motivation, compensation, and transformation. Wonder how many more posts I’ll end up writing!

Finally, of course, I would be remiss not to include “I’m Engaged!!! Here’s the Story…” in this list! I’m so glad I chronicled this really important evening so soon after it happened, so I can remember it forever. Matt’s proposal still makes me sigh happily whenever I think about it.

 

I’ll end with a little mini-list within this bigger list… Here are my 11 favorite essays I wrote this year in my weekly newsletter, Sub Missives, which you are welcome to subscribe to if you want a more personal and intimate view into my brain:

 

What blog posts did you really love this year? (Not necessarily from my blog, of course!) What do you think I should write in 2021?

What’s Your Creative Ritual?

Kate Sloan

Today I read an article about Stephin Merritt, the lead singer and songwriter of the Magnetic Fields – arguably one of the best songwriters of my generation – which had this to say about his creative process:

[Stephen is] a crazily prolific songwriter… The problem is that he can only write songs in bars. And not just any bar – it needs to be “one-third full of cranky old gay men gossiping over thumping disco music.” Plus he needs a glass of cognac, to be slowly sipped, and a corner with a light so he can see his notebook.

I was immediately captivated by this description. I knew Stephin liked to write in loud bars, but I didn’t know he only liked to write in loud bars – or that cognac factored into the equation.

What artists of various sorts like to do to stoke their creativity has long been a source of fascination to me. My own process is ever-evolving, in part based on what I read about other writers’ and creators’ processes. So today I thought I’d create a little survey, which you are free to duplicate on your own site if you’d like to answer these questions yourself. Here are my answers…

 

What’s your workspace like? I have an antique wooden desk that was rescued from the side of the road many years ago and has come with me to 3 different homes. It’s big enough for my computer, microphone, and headphones, plus all the various medications I take, a notebook and pen/pencil, and a black Museum of Sex mug containing all my writing implements.

Beverage of choice while working? During the day: a latte (I like a lot of different kinds, but a soy toffee nut latte from Starbucks is a common one lately) or a cup of tea. At night, when I occasionally also write: a dirty martini to help keep the words flowing without self-consciousness. I also try to continually drink water throughout the day, though I’m not always great at remembering to do this.

Favorite snack while working? Sometimes I do this thing where I order coffee and breakfast from Starbucks in the morning and throw in a slice of lemon loaf for later, which inevitably I suddenly remember exists around 3 p.m. and get extremely excited to eat. Aside from that – I’m a very snacky person but not organized/methodical enough to habitually keep snacks in stock, so these days I don’t snack much throughout the day even though I want to. If I ordered Mexican food last night and still have tortilla chips and guacamole left over, that’s my favorite mid-day snack.

Music of choice while working? Something instrumental and either peppy or dramatic. Most often I just hit shuffle on my “I’m a Writer” playlist. If there’s a particular mood I’m trying to embody in what I’m working on (e.g. fun, melancholy, energetic), I’ll put on music that makes me feel that way.

Favorite tools? My MacBook Air for nearly everything, and my iPad mini on bad pain/fatigue days. I journal in lined Moleskine notebooks with a Retro 51 Tornado pen. There’s also often a pink Poppin task pad and matching pink Palomino pencil next to me at my desk, for scribbled notes and to-do lists.

Favorite software? The plain ol’ Notes app for on-the-go note-taking and drafting. Scrivener for book-length projects. Evernote for some projects that require a lot of research, sources, and interviews. Google Docs/Drive as a backup compendium and for the vast majority of my non-blog writing (I love that it autosaves constantly).

Favorite places to work in your home? There are 3 options in my tiny apartment: bed, couch, and desk. Most often I pick bed, which I’m not proud of but is sometimes necessary as a result of chronic illness/pain. My building also has a rooftop patio where I did some book edits once and should probably write more often. Once in a while I stay over at my parents’, where I have a small desk (also rescued from the roadside, incidentally!) as well as their kitchen table or back yard to choose from.

Favorite places to work outside the home? I’m mostly relegated to my home right now ’cause coronavirus, but in normal times, I love writing at cafés (usually on my laptop) and bars (usually in a notebook) – men try to hit on me occasionally and there are a lot of distractions, but the overall boost in creativity, energy, and motivation is worth it for me. Sometimes, if I’m writing a piece that takes place at a particular location that’s accessible to me, I’ll go there to write so I can capture the details better. Also, oddly I get a lot of writing done in airports – maybe because I’m stuck there for a while and bored enough to want to work.

What times of day yield your best work? Honestly, any times when I’m not wracked by chronic illness symptoms. For me, that’s usually late afternoon, early evening, or very late at night. (Before I met my partner, anyway. Since meeting them, I’m typically on the phone with them til at least midnight so I haven’t had nearly as many of the obsessive wee-hours writing marathons as I often would in my youth.) I try to follow my natural impulses in this area and take advantage of any sudden “I feel like writing!!” whims, even if they happen at odd times.

Favorite work clothes? Anything comfy. Usually loungewear from MeUndies or the Gap. As I write this, I’m wearing my full-body black modal hooded onesie from MeUndies and it is truly ideal. Occasionally I put on a “real” outfit and some makeup, to make me feel more put-together and focused, but many days I can’t quite manage that and it usually works out okay anyway.

Start-of-workday rituals? Not as defined as I would prefer, mostly because I am very much not a morning person and I have to get up at 9 a.m. every weekday to do some morning tasks for my part-time social media job. Usually I just take my antidepressant, put on some music, and get started.

End-of-workday rituals? Close my laptop and physically walk away from it so I don’t feel tempted to just keep answering emails and drafting blog posts all evening. Wash all the dirty dishes in the sink – which may not seem creativity-related but is actually one of those boring, methodical tasks that can be oddly fertile soil for random creative thoughts. Make a cocktail and eat dinner while watching videos on YouTube or catching up on the articles in my RSS reader.

How do you handle distractions while you’re working? Not very well. When I’m doing a good job at this, usually I put my phone and computer on “do not disturb” (making sure to notify my partner and best friend if I plan on doing this for a long time, so they don’t worry about me) before I dive into a writing sesh. I also use a site blocker to keep myself off Twitter, and close my email app before starting a piece of writing.

Do you take breaks? What are they like? I used to be able to work for hours on end, but now that I’m plagued with daily pain and fatigue, I take a lot more breaks than I used to. Sometimes that just means a 20-minute lie-down between tasks to play a game on my phone or read a random weird Wikipedia article; other times it’s a full-on 3-hour nap, complete with eye mask, drawn shades, and soothing music. I’m trying to get better at listening to my body and doing what it asks of me.

How do you track your progress? My daily to-do list is kept in my Notes app, which my partner can access and keep an eye on (they’ll often send me a sweet congratulatory text when I get everything done). Other than that, I like looking at the full-month view in my Editorial Calendar plugin for WordPress; it gives me a sense of which blog slots have already been filled and which I still need to write content for. I don’t focus as much on word count as some other writers do, because most of the writing I do day-to-day is inherently unrestrictive in terms of word count. I guess looking at my income spreadsheet is also a way of tracking my progress!

How do you celebrate or cap off a completed project? My partner reads aloud to me, on our nighttime phone calls, any articles or blog posts that I wrote throughout the day. Hearing them out loud, and getting Matt’s feedback, helps me figure out what I might need to change before publication.

Do you have any superstitions about your work? Not exactly, but on deadline days I have been known to adorn myself with a whole lot of blue topaz jewelry because blue topaz is known as the writers’ crystal and is said to amplify your communicative powers. The effect may be placebo-based but there is an effect nonetheless, so I say, why the hell not?

What do you do when you’re creatively blocked? Go for a walk. Read writers I admire. Read generally. Write something in a different medium than my usual (e.g. fanfiction). Listen to podcasts. Take a day off, if possible, to just rest and do absolutely nothing (I get bored and remember why I enjoy writing). Look at the terms people are searching for on my site, or typing into Google before they stumble on my blog, to get a sense for what questions people need answered and what subjects stress them out. Talk to a friend on the phone.

Is there anything about your creative process that other people might think is “weird”? Possibly the weirdest thing is that I play Scrabble on my phone whenever I need to clear my brain and/or calm down. I felt validated in doing this when I learned that Angie Kim likes to play Jacks at the start of every writing session and whenever she’s stuck. There is something about playing a game – especially a game you’re good enough at that you don’t have to consciously think about your technique all that much – that can feel very calibrating and calming.

What aspects of your creative process do you hope to improve upon? After all these years of doing what I do, I feel like I’ve mostly got my own patterns and rhythms figured out, so I know how to optimize for them – but chronic illness has really thrown a wrench into that. Now I’m working on re-learning what works best for me in my new body and brain. I know I can; it’ll just take time!

What are some aspects of other people’s creative processes that you find inspiring or admirable? I mentioned Stephin Merritt early in this post and I still find his process fascinating. How do you write well – let alone write songs well – in a loud bar?! Every time I read about someone whose process is radically different from mine, it makes me want to try their method just to see how it would affect me. I also admire Esmé Wang‘s commitment to beginning each day by pulling tarot cards and journaling.

 

If you feel like filling out this survey on your own blog, or even just on Medium.com or somesuch, feel free to post a link in the comments!

How to Write 1,000 Blog Posts

Kate Sloan

I literally cannot believe this, but… this is the 1,000th blog post to be published on girlyjuice dot net. WOW.

This somehow feels like a more momentous milestone to me than more time-based ones, because just saying “I’ve been blogging for eight and a half years” doesn’t give you a whole lot of info about what that has actually entailed. But it’s a whole different ballgame when I say it this way: I’ve been blogging here for 3,114 days, and have written 1,000 blog posts in that time, which averages out to 2.25 blog posts per week EVERY WEEK for nearly a decade. Yeesh. I’m so proud of myself that I’m not even trying to rein in the congratulatory self-indulgence in this paragraph!

With that in mind, I know a lot of bloggers and other types of writers follow me here, so I thought I’d share some of what I’ve learned about creating massive amounts of blog content over multiple years. It hasn’t always been easy, but I’ve always found my way back to it whenever I strayed or slacked for a while. Here are some tips that I hope help you if your goal is to make it to 1,000 blog posts or beyond!

 

Pick a subject you’re enthralled by. Maybe don’t start a blog about, like, 18th-century Viennese architecture, unless you’re actually so captivated by it that you think you have several dozen blog posts’ worth of thoughts to share on the topic. The vast majority of blogs burn out – and while there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that (I know not everyone is aiming to make their blog their job, as I have), if you’re in it for the long haul then it’s best to set yourself up for success. I chose to center this blog around sexuality because I could think of literally zero other subjects that I genuinely felt I could keep writing about forever, and it turns out I was right: the landscape of human sexuality is always changing, and so is my own sexuality specifically, making it a rich vein of blog post ideas.

…but also, don’t limit yourself to one subject. If this blog was only a sex blog, I don’t think it would be boring, exactly – there are infinite subtopics within the field of sexuality – but it certainly would be less fun for me at times. I’m only human; I’m not always horny. Sometimes I’m too depressed or ill or heartbroken to contemplate sex, and that’s typically when I dive into writing about relationships, fashion, feminism, or mental health. Thanks very much to the ladies of the Blogcademy for introducing me to the idea that your blog can be like a magazine: geared toward a particular type of reader, and the topics (yes, plural) that they’d be interested in.

Develop a storage system for ideas. Frustrating but true: far too often, when you have a fantastic idea for a blog post but are too busy to jot it down, you’ll end up totally forgetting about it. Either it’ll languish forever in the back of your mind – “I really should write that one of these days!” – or you will actually forget you even had the idea in the first place. It’s crucial that you develop a way to collect all your random blog post ideas somewhere so you can use ’em later. I try to always jot down not only the title/main idea of the post, but also a few notes about its contents; for example, for this post, I wrote down “how to write 1,000 blog posts” followed by a few bullet points about the kinds of tips I was hoping to give. This helped jog my memory later when I sat down to actually write this post.

Develop regular features. I do a “Monthly Faves” at the end of each month, “12 Days of Girly Juice” at the end of each year, and have experimented with various other recurring features in the past. These are especially helpful when you’re going through a period of being extra stressed/busy/sapped of all creativity (hello, 2020!) because they give you structure and some kind of prompt. You don’t have to come up with 1,000 completely unique and different ideas to write 1,000 blog posts (although kudos if you can)!

Read social media, forums, and the news. Not all the news, certainly (god, I think my brain would explode from sadness oversaturation), but at least enough to know what’s going on in your field at any given time. You never know when a random news story might thrill/incense/sadden/alarm you into writing something brilliant. Keeping an eye on social media and relevant forums also helps you keep your finger on the pulse of what people actually do/feel/think, not just what mainstream news says people are doing/feeling/thinking – so you can answer questions a lot of people are wondering about, provide guidance on issues that confuse most folks, or unpack your own feelings on the hot-button issue of the day.

Talk to friends, family, partners – and people you disagree with. Conversations have been some of my best catalysts for good blog posts over the years. Sometimes all it takes is a simple statement like “I’ve been thinking about writing a piece on [insert vague topic here]…” and before you know it, you’ll be in a profound dialogue or heated debate with someone about the issue at hand. Often, conversations with smart people – whether or not they know much of anything about my chosen topic – can help me figure out a unique angle, an offbeat consideration, or a hot take. It’s most useful to converse not only with people you like, but also people who rub you the wrong way, because they may offer you a perspective you’d never considered before, or present a perfect ideological springboard for your argument. (Just don’t get sucked into debating alt-right trolls as if their arguments have any merit… Been there, done that; it’s never worth it.)

Pay attention to readers’ search terms. Certain services, like Google Analytics, allow you to see what search-engine queries lead people to your website. These are always illuminating; they tell you not only what you’re already helping people with, but also what you could be helping people with. Obviously, not all blog content needs to be helpful to the reader in order to be valid and good, but informational and “how-to” articles are often the most “shareable,” so it makes sense to focus on them at least some of the time. If you notice that a lot of your readers seem to be fruitlessly searching for answers to the same questions, maybe that’s a cue that you should answer those questions for them in a blog post.

Take the money (if you want to). It’s simply a fact of life in a capitalist society that you will be more able to devote time and energy to an activity if that activity pays. Not everyone gets to a point with their blog where it starts attracting hopeful advertisers – and sometimes that’s due to entire industries or genres of writing being chronically undervalued, which sucks – but if you do start getting that type of offer in your inbox, at least consider it. Some people are very hesitant to “sell out,” especially within a vocation that they adore, because they think money will drain the joy out of the whole endeavor – which indeed can and sometimes does happen. But for me, getting paid to blog has almost always just been a motivator. The more income I’ve earned through this site, the more I’ve been able to set aside other jobs and projects to focus on what I’m doing here – and (for me at least) that results in better, deeper, more interesting work.

Allow yourself to grow and change. While it can be tempting to stick with a successful formula once you’ve found one, your best writing will happen when you step outside the box you’ve inevitably created for yourself. Any reader who’s actually invested in you as a person will happily follow you into new territory (so long as you haven’t, like, taken the red pill or joined a pyramid scheme), and to the extent that you lose old readers when you switch things up, you’ll also gain new ones who are more in line with your present-day vision. I certainly would not have been able to write 1,000 blog posts solely from the limited perspective of the 19-year-old sex nerd I was when I started this blog – but writing 1,000 blog posts from my ever-shifting perspectives from ages 19 to 28? That was no problem at all.

 

What strategies have you found helpful in long-term blogging?

What’s Your Sunday Routine?

Kate Sloan

Sundays are the most anxiety-provoking day of the week for many people. For those of us with a standard Monday-to-Friday work week (which is, itself, a privilege in many ways), pre-emptive Monday nerves can sneak into Sunday and turn it from a relaxed respite into pins-and-needles panic. It doesn’t have to be this way!

Recently I read, with fascination, Rachel Syme’s Twitter thread about her favorite way to spend a Sunday. She calls it “Sunday Expert” and it’s a game in which you choose a subject you’re organically intrigued by and decide to make a day of becoming an expert on that thing. This can involve doing research in the form of article-reading and video-watching, or you can take a more feet-on-the-ground approach and physically go to a location that would help you in your research – you might, for example, scope out a house near you where a historical legend used to live, or (in pre- and post-COVID times) even visit a library to satiate your nerdy cravings. To me this seems like such a great way to infuse some fun and frivolity into a day that can otherwise feel so high-pressure and scary.

Rachel Syme also, incidentally, started the #DistanceButMakeItFashion movement, which encourages participants to dress up on Sundays and post pictures on social media to combat lockdown loneliness and pandemic melancholy. There is something about wearing heels and lipstick on a Sunday that helps me feel like I spent my weekend well and am ready for the week to start up again.

I know a lot of advocates of the Getting Things Done (GTD) system like to do their “weekly review” on Sundays. It’s all about processing “loose ends” – like that cheque on your desk you’ve been meaning to deposit, or that note you made early in the week that says “call mom” – as well as reflecting on how you did over the past week and setting goals and intentions for the week to come. This is all very Productivity Nerd™ and I admire it a lot, although I have to admit that my own workflow and energy levels are too chaotic for me to decisively commit to such a system.

My blogger heroine Gala Darling, on the other end of the productivity/relaxation spectrum, has oft advocated for “Sunday Funday,” a weekly ritual of just… not working, all day. For those of you who leave your work at the office when you go home on Friday, this might be a bit confusing, but for freelancers and other self-employed folks (as well as many people whose workplaces just don’t have a good handle on boundaries), it’s all too easy to let your work week carry over into the weekend. This creates a shitty cycle where you don’t get the rest you need and then suddenly it’s Monday morning and you’re just as exhausted as you were last Thursday. Not ideal! I’ve been trying to take this one to heart over the past few months, typically eschewing emails and other less-than-exciting work tasks in favor of rest and recuperation, and it’s lovely.

I asked my Twitter followers about their Sunday routines (thanks, if you contributed!) and the answers varied greatly, though there were some recurring themes: cleaning, planning, laundry, aesthetic top-ups (like re-painting nails or doing an elaborate skincare routine), exercise, and meditation. This all sounds pretty excellent to me!

As for my current routine… Recently my partner and I overhauled our protocol agreements, and one of the things we added was a weekly to-do list for me to complete over the weekend. This list of tasks was always done unofficially before – which is to say, sometimes it didn’t get done at all – but now it’s codified into a digital note which syncs to my partner’s devices so they can keep an eye on my progress. The list is pretty simple: tidy my room, clean out the fridge, take the trash out, do all the dishes, and wash all the dirty sex toys that have piled up over the course of the week. I can do these any time throughout the weekend, but I usually leave ’em til Sunday so I get at least one full day beforehand to do nothing, guilt-free.

What I like about this list is that I can alter the way I complete it in accordance with my energy levels and health status on any given Sunday. On healthy, happy, energetic days, I can knock out the whole list in an hour. When I’m feeling more sluggish or depressed, I might complete one task, rest for a while, do another one, read a chapter of a book, do another one, play video games for a bit, and so on. I do feel motivated to complete the list ASAP, however, because then I get the feeling of accomplishment of having ticked off every item on a list and I don’t need to feel guilty when I take the rest of the day to just chill.

This all sounds very Jordan Peterson of me – “Keep your room tidy and your whole life will feel structured and satisfying!” – but, hey, even a bigoted conservative clock is right twice a day (I guess…). Starting the week with a clean apartment makes me feel so much more able to take on the challenges the week will serve up. It also means I don’t have to juggle multiple energy-draining tasks on work days, when I’m already generally pretty tapped out by the time I close my laptop at 5 p.m. (or 6, or 7, or… 10).

As part of my tidying, I usually come across items I’ll need for the week ahead – like a sex toy I’m on deadline to review, or a page of notes from a client call – and I’ll collect those in an orderly way on my desk so they’ll be accessible when I want ’em. This makes me feel so much more sane and less stressed out all week long.

This is what works for me right now – I’m sure it’ll continue shifting and evolving as I learn more and more about my own patterns and needs. What are your Sunday routines and rituals?