When I was in my early-to-mid twenties and had just gotten into the sex media biz, I went to as many industry events as my energy levels would allow, and sometimes even more. I scampered around Toronto every year attending screenings and presentations during Feminist Porn Week; I flew to Virginia annually for the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit; I spoke on panels and did live podcast recordings at various other conferences and events both local and far-away.
Needless to say, the pandemic changed all that – but I’ve also changed these past few years, becoming even more of an introverted homebody and getting pickier about which events I want to expend my increasingly limited energy on.
In the past few weeks, though, I’ve attended two industry events, both of which were fun and eye-opening. Let’s talk about the sights I saw, delicacies I ate, and goodies I took home from these events!
Sex Expo
The New York-based Sex Expo was one of the first industry events I ever attended, way back in 2015. It’s an interesting blend of industry tradeshow and public-facing sex-ed symposium; there are always tables and booths packed with the latest sexual innovations, as well as informative talks given by superstar sex educators.
I was delighted to see that Crystal Delights was in attendance. They’re a sex toy brand known for their outrageously beautiful glass dildos and butt plugs. I only have one toy from them, the Star Delight, which I adore because it can hit my A-spot with ease, provides firm pressure right where I crave it, and is well-suited to being paired with oral sex. Frankly it was hard to keep myself from splurging on another shiny, sparkly dildo from this high-end brand!
It was also cool to see some of the newest offerings from Blush, a brand that has transformed into one of the industry’s top-quality toymakers over the past few years. Their new line of “wellness”-themed vibrators is especially interesting to me. There’s a vibe in that line called the G Ball which combines vibration with a small ball that moves around under its silicone surface to stimulate your G-spot in a way that would probably feel remarkably similar to being fingered there.
In the same line is a dual-stimulation vibe called the Wellness G Wave. A lot of sex toy companies have been overhauling the entire concept of a dual-stimulation vibrator these past couple years, making ones that are flexible enough to fit a broad range of bodies, like the We-Vibe Nova 2 and SnailVibe, and the G Wave is Blush’s contribution to that category. Each of its two long, bendy arms (which make it look like the pinching emoji 🤏) stimulates a different erogenous zone, and they have enough flex that you can thrust the toy in and out without interrupting your pleasure. Best of all, both of these toys have an astonishingly rumbly motor, which makes all the difference. Cool!
Not to fangirl about Blush too hard, but I also think it’s really awesome that they’ve released a toy called the Power of Love in the colors of the Ukrainian flag, with all proceeds being donated to relief efforts in Ukraine. I was genuinely surprised by how strong and rumbly this little bullet vibe is – and since it’s cheaper than a lot of its direct competitors, like the excellent We-Vibe Tango X, it’s an ideal pick if you want a petite-yet-powerful toy that supports a good cause.
At Sex Expo I also met the minds behind the FirmTech ring, a high-tech cock ring that’s essentially a FitBit for your dick. Apparently it tracks a bunch of factors related to erection quality and overall erectile health. I could see this being a fun product for any penis-owner who’s nerdy about sex, or perhaps for a strict dom/domme to “force” their partner to wear in some kind of medical-adjacent kinky roleplay. They took down my contact info to send my partner one of these rings to try, so maybe I’ll review it sometime in 2023.
Finally, my partner and I attended a talk at the expo given by Daniel Saynt on the topic of edging. He discussed it as a method of mindful masturbation, a way to make self-pleasure feel less goal-oriented and more focused on the journey than the destination. It was a useful reminder to slow down and enjoy the scenery, so to speak.
Lovehoney media preview + dinner
My attention was piqued when I received an invite to an exclusive drinks-and-dinner event hosted by Lovehoney. They’re one of the biggest brands in the biz, especially now that they acquired Womanizer, We-Vibe and Arcwave last year – so I figured this bash was unmissable.
A bunch of journalists gathered in a Lovehoney pop-up shop for delicious drinks. There were east-coast oysters on ice, too – swanky. I perused the shelves full of products while sipping a concoction made of tequila, matcha, and pineapple juice, and chatted with other media-makers: entertainment and travel reporters, a TV anchorperson, and various other interesting people. Two of the sexperts in attendance were Dr. Jess O’Reilly and Bobby Box, both of whom are super smart and do wonderful work, so I was excited to meet them in-person – and they were just as lovely as I thought they’d be.
Toward the end of cocktail hour, the PR staff handed out tote bags to each of us and encouraged us to grab whatever we wanted off the shelves. I love when brands do this at media events, rather than just handing you a bag pre-packed with whatever they want you to have; it’s just so much smarter to let media-makers choose what we’re actually excited about, both for their sake and for ours.
Some of the things I took from the shelves:
- The Lovehoney Rose clitoral stimulator, another version of the rose toy that went mega-viral on Tiktok a little while ago. I hadn’t gotten around to trying this one despite its massive success and ubiquity, in part because I’ve just tried so many other pressure-wave toys and didn’t particularly need more of them. But when I took the Rose out of its box, I was immediately swayed by how soft and flexible the silicone “petals” are. Can’t wait to put this thing on my clit tbh!
- A We-Vibe Bond cock ring – I loved the Pivot, another of their cock rings, for its super rumbly motor and Bluetooth compatibility, so I’ve wanted to try out the Bond too. It’s more aimed at stimulating the wearer’s balls and perineum during use than at pleasuring their partner, which I think is cool and which hopefully my spouse will enjoy when we try it out together.
- A paddle that’s leather on one side and satin on the other. I am normally very wary of paddles that look like this, especially inexpensive ones (this one is $20), because usually they’re more bark than bite and are hella stingy, rather than thuddy – not my fave. But in testing this out briefly on myself, I’m actually really impressed by how it feels. There seems to be a firm core to it that gives it some heft and thuddiness, and the smooth leather side feels more stingy and makes a louder noise, while the satin side feels thuddier and makes a softer, lower-pitched sound. I wouldn’t recommend using this one for a lot of hard hits, but if you like milder scenes, I think it’s a versatile pick.
- A couple of pink silicone dildos – this pink and purple one, and one with hearts embedded in it. What can I say, I’m a sucker for a femme cock.
- A pair of silicone nipple suckers. I’ve never tried these and have always been curious whether they actually work/feel good. Only one way to find out.
After we’d filled our tote bags with toys and swilled our cocktails, we were invited to an event space upstairs, in which there was a long table with place settings and place cards. Honestly, I love place cards, especially at events where I don’t know the other attendees very well or at all; it’s a classy, fancy-looking touch that also works wonders to assuage my social anxiety. (That middle-school-cafeteria feeling of “Who do I sit with?!” is unfortunately still pretty triggering for me, lol fun.)
The PR reps gave us a brief explanation of some new toys Lovehoney is launching soon, which are under embargo so I can’t share details with you yet – but I can tell you that they’re using pressure-wave technology in new and interesting ways, and I’m excited to find out what the new products are like in use.
After that, we were served a wildly fancy 8-course dinner prepared by the culinary team at Patois, a well-reviewed restaurant next door to the event space which makes “Caribbean-meets-Asian soul food.” The theme of the menu was sex and sensuality, so there were lots of fun touches – like a rosy radicchio salad that looked vaguely like a turned-on vulva, a balloon containing orange essential oil that we all popped in unison with provided pins, and a bowl of sour fruits served alongside a miracle berry which temporarily changed our taste receptors to make sour things taste sweet.
The best dish of the evening, I thought, was the main: braised beef brisket in oxtail gravy, served with rice and peas, mac-and-cheese pie, and creamy coleslaw. (The vegetarians and vegans in the room were served a spicy cauliflower situation in lieu of the brisket, which apparently was very good also.) I felt #blessed to be eating something so delicious in the company of so many cool people.
My other favorite dish was one of the desserts, called “Eyes Wide Shut.” Each place setting had a blindfold next to it, and we were told to put these on. “This dish is all about trust,” the chef said, as servers went around the table and individually fed each blindfolded person the dessert, which was a dark chocolate truffle containing raspberry (I think?) and Pop Rocks, for a sensory experience that was both delicious and intriguing. There was also an artist stationed at a nearby table who was doing custom calligraphy on everyone’s eye mask if requested; I just got my name but some of the people around me got fun text like “Touch me.” Cute!
Overall, it was a lovely evening, and I left with a belly full of delicious food and drinks and a giant bag full of sexy products, feeling very lucky to get to do what I love for a living.