Fantasy dildos are some of the zaniest toys on the market, boasting wild shapes, bold colors, and (often) extensive mythological lore. Their designs are impressively creative, and perhaps even more impressive is the way you can often customize a fantasy dildo to your particular specifications. Nothing makes me feel quite as fancy as a bespoke dong!
The customization process can be intimidating, though, especially if you’ve never done it before or just haven’t gotten a strong sense yet of your own sex toy preferences yet. So today I’ve partnered with the folks at Juliet Toys, a retailer that carries dozens upon dozens of fantasy dildos, most of which can be customized. Let me walk you through the main considerations when devising your dream dildo…
Shape vs. Fantasy
Before you even get to the customization part, you have to choose which dildo you actually want. The way I see it, there are two main ways to approach this decision: Do you want a dildo with a particular shape, or a dildo that suits a particular fantasy?
For instance, even if canine-inspired dildos don’t do anything for you mentally, you might enjoy the knotted shape for how it stimulates your G-spot or prostate. On the flipside, I’ve occasionally chosen fantasy dildos to review based solely on the intriguing fantasies they inspired in me, like a robot dick or an alien appendage, without caring too much about the shape. In the ideal situation, however, you’d find a dildo which ticks both your boxes, so to speak – one which appeals to you both psychologically and physically. That’s really the hole-y grail.
While we’re talking shape, it’s worth noting that a dildo needs to have a flared-base to be anal-safe. A flared base also makes a dildo harness-compatible, although so can a Vac-U-Lock hole in the base (more on that below).
Size
Fantasy dildos tend to run large. To give you a sense of what I mean: I have occasionally been accused of being a size queen in the past, because I enjoy glass and metal dildos up to 2″ in diameter… which is the same width as the knot on the small size of this “Pooch” dildo. For this reason, always check and double-check the measurements of the size option(s) you’re considering, which will generally be listed on the product page.
If you already own a penetrative sex toy of some kind (or many of them, as the case may be!), you can measure them – or check their measurements in their manual or on the brand’s website – to get a sense of what sizes have/haven’t worked well for you before. Another method you could try, if you enjoy being fingered, is to measure your own fingers (or a partner’s) while bunched together into a fingerfucking formation, and compare those to the product’s dimensions. (This is easiest to do with either a tape measure, or a piece of string and a ruler.)
Firmness
Depending on its firmness or “shore,” a silicone dildo can feel like a fully-flaccid dick, or like the hardest erection you’ve ever felt, or anywhere in between. Since this is another hugely subjective consideration, here’s a bunch of rapid-fire questions to help you decide:
- Are you new to dildos, or to penetration in general? If so, a softer toy may be comfier.
- Do you know that you’re prone to vaginal/anal irritation or pain? If so, a softer toy may be comfier. (And please use a good water-based lube with it.)
- Have you chosen a dildo size that’s larger than you’re used to? If so, a softer toy may be comfier.
- Does the design of your dildo feature any irregular/jagged edges, intense ribbed/dotted/veiny texture, and/or stark and non-gradual changes in diameter along the shaft? If so, a softer toy may be comfier.
- Do you like being penetrated hard/fast/rough? Then you’d probably prefer a firmer toy, especially if you’re seeking to target the G-spot or prostate.
- Do you find that your orgasms feel better when you have something to squeeze/clench around? If so, you might prefer a firmer toy.
- Would you describe yourself as a size queen/king/monarch? If so, you might prefer a firmer toy, because they feel bigger/more filling.
- Do you plan on using the toy in a strap-on harness? If so, you’ll want it to be firm enough that it can stand up on its own, but not so firm that it could hurt someone if you get a little too zealous (especially if you’re a new/inexperienced strap-on top), so a medium firmness is probably best.
- What fantasies do you plan on pairing with this dildo, if any, and would they be benefited by a particular firmness option?
Color
Sex toy aesthetics are a very personal matter; I can’t tell you how to pick a dildo color any more than I can tell you what color to paint your bedroom, because that all depends on you, baby. However, some questions to ask yourself might include:
- Do I plan on using this dildo in a strap-on at any point, and if so, do I want it to be close to the skin tone of the person who’ll be wearing it?
- Do I care if this toy matches/looks good with any of my other toys, or my partners’ other toys (perhaps including a strap-on harness, as mentioned)?
- Do I care if this toy matches/looks good with my bedroom decor?
- Do I plan on taking any photos or videos that feature this toy, and if so, what color(s) would work best for the lighting and backdrop etc. that I’m envisioning?
- Do I want a dark-colored toy to conceal any potentially “embarrassing” substances like menstrual blood or fecal matter, should those situations arise? (These can be easily washed off a silicone toy with soap and water, but some people feel uncomfortable at the thought of these substances being visible at all during sex, in which case darker toys may help, similarly to using black latex gloves for anal fingering.)
One more tip on colors: If you ever see a fantasy dildo that has some solid-color options and some gradient/multicolor options, generally the latter are gonna be prettier, not to mention more unique and eye-catching. I’ve never regretted choosing one over a more uniform colorway. (The purple-to-powder-pink fade on this butt plug, for example? Iconic!) Sometimes these are more expensive than single-color toys, however, so keep an eye on the price.
Base Features
Some fantasy dildos can be customized to have a hole in the base, which is compatible with Vac-U-Lock accessories (sold separately). These accessories include things like harnesses, dildo mounts, fucking machines, handles, and suction-cup bases. Even if you don’t plan on using your toy with any Vac-U-Lock accessories, though, you may still want to consider this customization option, because 1) maybe you’ll change your mind down the road, 2) you can jam a small vibrator into the hole for some extra sensation, and 3) using the hole as a “finger hole” (à la bowling ball) can be a more ergonomic way to grip the toy for some users.
I’ve occasionally seen other base options offered, like a suction cup – which is great if you want to use the toy hands-free – or a hole specifically sized to fit a standard bullet vibe. If you’re offered one of these options and you’re unsure whether to go for it, I’d lean yes, because you can’t really make your own hole in the base of the toy if you change your mind later, but it also won’t be disruptive if you end up never using it.
Cum Tube: Y/N?
Not all fantasy toys offer a cum-tube option, but some do, like the Luna squirting dildo. I think you probably already know in your heart whether a cum tube interests you or not; it’s just one of those things! But if you’re on the fence, consider the tube’s practical benefit as well as its aesthetic ones: It can be useful for adding more lube without having to take the dildo all the way out of you.
The way a cum tube looks during use is generally considered its main selling point, though – so if you, your partner(s), and/or your online audience are fond of the sight of an ejaculating cock, it might be worth checking off the cum-tube option when you place your dildo order. There’s also ovipositor dildos, for those of you who prefer a different sort of ejaculation…
Fantasy dildo lovers: Anything I missed here? Any crucial considerations that you’d urge newbies to consider before purchasing?
This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.