Summer has finally sprung in Toronto! I had a lot of sweaty sex this month… which is… good, I guess? Here were some things I loved in May!
Sex toys
• Did you know that the VixSkin Mustang is a wonderful blowjob dildo? Sometimes my boyf wants to hear BJ sounds when we have phone sex – and to drop me into subspace in the way that only a dick hitting the back of my throat can do – and this beautiful dildo fits the bill.
• Betty’s Toy Box sent me the Icicles #69 dildo a while ago and I’ve been enjoying it. Full review to come eventually, but here’s the TL;DR: it does good A-spot things but I wish it was longer so I’d have more of a handle for easier thrusting!
• My Sir ordered me some custom items from L’Amour-Propre a while ago and one of them was a leash in blue suede that matches my collar. (Did you know that Tal, who runs L’Amour-Propre, is super great about custom orders? Contact them, they’re lovely!) While the leash has been fun in its traditional uses – to keep me in line while I’m giving head or shining my Sir’s shoes, for example – we also experimented recently with swinging it back and forth in front of my eyes like a pendulum as part of a hypnosis induction. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m forever amazed by the ingenuity of kinksters!
Fantasy fodder
• So, I’m having a lot of phone sex as per usual, but this month I’ve been thinking about it less as a replacement for IRL sex I wish I was having and more as its own wonderful thing. Sometimes when I’m masturbating alone, I even imagine my partner is muttering darkly in my ear. Interesting how some kinks develop out of necessity and are nonetheless super fun to play with.
• Fantasies about hysteria doctors are frequent for me, but this month I was idly imaginin’ and the doctor in my mind’s eye said, “I make you come so much harder than your husband ever does…!” Usually in these fantasies, I’m just me, rather than becoming the archetypal Victorian housewife often represented in stories about hysteria treatment – but hey, sometimes it’s fun to go a little more literal than usual.
• I tried watersports for the first time this month. OMG. It was a pretty mild introduction to this wet-‘n’-wild kink – my Sir pissed on my chest in the shower after we’d been discussing doing this for a few weeks – but felt vulnerable and sweet and hot. More to come, I would imagine!
Sexcetera
• Some of my work elsewhere this month: I have an article in the new issue of The Walrus about how sex robots could shape our sexual future. I wrote a squirting guide for Ignite. On our podcast, Bex and I talked about age play, porn, loving communication, altered states, and Bex’s first year on testosterone.
• I bought some plastic hooks with which to hang impact toys on my wall and they make me so happy. I own so many beautiful toys; why not display ’em?
Media
• I was thrilled this month to get to see The Artist & the Pervert, the new documentary about kink educator Mollena Williams and her 24/7 D/s dynamic with her husband and Master, world-famous composer Georg Friedrich Haas. It presented kink as romantic and normal, which, naturally, I found very charming!
• Melissa Broder, of @SoSadToday fame, has a new book out called The Pisces. I’ll have way more thoughts about the book for you here on Monday; for now, just know that I loved it, and if you’ve ever struggled with feeling addicted to romantic or sexual stimuli – or you find mermen attractive – you might like it too.
• Some people in my life have been experiencing emotional abuse lately so I wanted to do some research on it to better understand how abusers operate. I found this book on covert emotional manipulation tactics enlightening; maybe you will too! And if you’re at the point of wanting to stand up to an abuser in your life, this book of scripts is super helpful and practical.
• In case you missed it: my fave show, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, was cancelled by Fox this month and then promptly picked up by NBC in the wake of an outcry from fans. I’m so, so pleased that this show will continue. While you’re waiting for new episodes, why not read some of my B99 fanfiction?
Femme stuff
• Vintage Leather by West Third Brand smells exactly how you would expect a fragrance called “Vintage Leather” to smell. It’s a little masc and very sexy and I’m into it.
• My boyf paid for me to get a pedicure, something I haven’t done in a long-ass time, and it was such a lovely treat. Plus I enjoyed bonding with my pedicurist over a shared disdain for unsolicited dick pics.
• I’m working on a part 2 of my blowjob lipsticks post! Leave your recommendations in the comments if you’ve got ’em.
Little things
Nerding out about Sondheim with my extended family. Catching up with my bruddy. Seeing two SNL-related documentaries in one day with my mom. Sir ordering me a cookie so I’d have something to snack on while he talked to me on the phone from New York. Sex T-Rex shows. Solo sushi dinners. Getting recognized in public. Drinks dates with femme pals. Affixing romantic memorabilia to a corkboard on my wall, like the sentimental dork that I am. Feminist stand-up comedy. Interviewing kink geniuses for the podcast. Spanakopita and love letters in a mini Moleskine. A perfect gin and tonic on a sunny day. Our cute waiter at a Mexican restaurant asking, “Are you guys chefs?” Being vastly overdressed for a dinner-and-improv date. Sleeping in a T-shirt from the hotel where my boyfriend first told me he loved me.