Hope you’re having an okay day even though everything is difficult and chaotic right now! Here are some of my fave things from June…
Media
• The new Netflix documentary Disclosure is a brilliantly-produced history of transgender representation in film. With interviews from trans media luminaries woven together between clips of the relevant films and scenes (some good and affirming, some horrifically othering), it tells the story of how we got to where we are now in terms of trans media rep – which, let’s face it, is still often pretty damn bad. I really appreciated the perspectives of the trans people interviewed for this doc and I hope there are way more three-dimensional trans and non-binary characters in movies from here on out.
• This month I got to preview the forthcoming debut novel of a writer named Mateo Askaripour; you can preorder it here. It’s a Wolf of Wall Street-esque satirical story about the only Black salesman at an absurd startup business. The writing is hilarious, the pacing is quick, and the characters are wonderfully memorable – would recommend.
• This month my partner and I felt like watching some queer movies (happy Pride!) so we searched some popular LGBTQ+ film lists on Letterboxd, and ended up going with a Korean film called (in English) The Handmaiden. It’s a wild ride: there’s a Japanese heiress, a charismatic con man, ancient erotica novels, a mental hospital, some drag, and a lot of great queer sex. I love when a thriller manages to actually surprise me with its twists like this one did.
• The new John Legend album, Bigger Love, is yet another triumph from one of the finest R&B songwriters of our time. Some parts of it reminded me of his early days when his music was much more stripped down (seeing him play/sing solo piano tunes in 2008 was a highlight of my concert-going career). His voice just gets better and better over the years somehow.
• Greg from How to Drink is really delivering quality content lately. His videos on “vacation juice” from Animal Crossing and “cactus juice” from Avatar: the Last Airbender were so imaginative, informative, and fun.
• I can’t stop playing and replaying the Pokémon games (main series only – I’m a purist!). This month I replayed Moon and Shield and they are still some of the best in the series (I think my all-time faves might be X and AlphaSapphire though). Who’s on your dream Pokémon team? I still think the Galarian variant of Rapidash is one of the most beautiful characters ever created in this series.
• I’ve talked to you about my love for barbershop quartets before, but this month I got a bit fixated on the Newfangled Four’s medley of “Hello My Baby” in various different musical genres. The joke they make about “my heart’s on fire” makes me laugh every. single. time, and Jake Tickner’s vocals on the swing-inspired and Elvis-inspired renditions are dreamy.
Products
• I don’t have a ton of new shopping to report this month (there are better places for my money to end up, especially right now!) but if you are looking to purchase a Coach bag, you gotta check out bran_bran1984’s wonderfully thorough reviews of them on YouTube. Sometimes you just gotta see a bag in action before you can add it to your cart in good conscience, y’know?
• One thing I did buy was an 100% silk vintage Victoria’s Secret robe in a beautiful pink rose print from FlyGirlOutlet. If I have to lounge around at home constantly, I might as well do it in glamorous loungewear.
• I’d never owned a pair of prescription sunglasses before, but when I saw that Zenni is donating proceeds from their (very affordable) rainbow eyewear to the It Gets Better project, I decided it was time. My new rainbow cat-eye sunglasses are so dramatic and glam. I also got a pair of rainbow Wayfarer-style regular glasses for good measure.
• One of my mom’s Christmas gifts for me last year was a body pillow, and it came in very handy this month as I’ve been dealing with pinched nerves in my elbows (ow) on top of my regular chronic pain and need to keep my arms as straight as I can for as much time as possible while they heal. Folks with chronic pain, if you’ve never tried a body pillow, I highly recommend it – they can take pressure off your achy parts in surprisingly relieving ways!
• My current home-decor obsession is Command hooks. They’re the best solution for renters who want to hang stuff on their walls. Currently I have some allocated for impact-play toys, some for purses, and some for my various fabric face masks, so I can quickly grab one when I’m on my way out the door. My room is tiny so any extra storage space is helpful!
Work & Appearances
• My good friend Dick Wound invited me onto his podcast Being There to discuss life as a sex journalist. The week before, he had my partner Matt on to tell the story of how we met and how we decided to “come out” as a couple. Aww, romantic.
• Dick’s cohost on his other podcast Off the Cuffs, Minimus Maximus, also cohosts a show called WKIF (We Know It’s Fake) where him and former wrestling commentator Craig Johnson watch footage of an old wrestling event with someone who’s not ordinarily a fan of the sport and then talk about it. They had me on to discuss an episode of LPWA (the Ladies’ Professional Wrestling Association) from the early ’90s, and it was a blast.
• Remember when I reviewed the Clone-a-Willy? Xtra asked me to write about the experience in more detail and provide some tips for those embarking on this process. I still think this product is the perfect gift for your quarantine sweetie!
• This month on the Dildorks, we interviewed Andre Shakti about her new online strip club, chatted with Gwen Adora about running an online sex work business, and had some interesting discussions about sex while stressed and celebrating Pride in quarantine.
• In my newsletter this month, I highlighted books by authors of color that you should read, pondered the notion of “being in trouble” in the context of my trauma, put together cute pretend outfits I would wear to 5 places I wish I could go, and discussed the importance of knowing a sexual partner’s tastes through the lens of sex scenes in movies I’ve seen recently.
Good Causes
• Critical Resistance is working to abolish the prison industrial complex, an institution which, as our current political moment is really driving home, is pretty fucked up. Straight-up donations are great, but if you’d like to receive something for your cash, they have some truly cute merch that shows off your passion for the abolitionist movement. I already gave once but now I’m eyeing that comfy-looking grey “Building People Power” sweatshirt…
• The Okra Project hires Black trans chefs to cook good wholesome meals for other Black trans people. I love the practicality of this; as anyone who’s ever gone through grief or profound depression can tell you, sometimes it’s the “simplest” and most practical things, like making a meal or doing the dishes, that are hardest to do and that can be the most appreciated when someone else steps up to do them for you. This organization is also running a COVID-19 aid fund for Black trans folks and has just started some new programs for supporting that community’s mental health as well.
• The Black Coalition for AIDS Prevention is based here in my hometown of Toronto and is Canada’s largest Black-specific HIV/AIDS service organization (amazing!). They work to reduce HIV’s spread in Toronto’s Black communities and improve quality of life for Black folks living with HIV/AIDS.
• There continues to be a lot of bullshit transphobia in the world, so a donation to the National Center for Transgender Equality is always a good idea. They’re working on changing policies to increase the general population’s understanding and acceptance of trans people. Some of their current projects include the Trans Legal Services Network and a racial and economic justice initiative.
• The Internet Archive is seeking new donors so it can stay online. This resource is invaluable, especially now in an era when disingenuous politicians and terrifying alt-right trolls are constantly trying to deny and erase the truth in favor of their own absurd narratives. Preserving internet history is a way of preserving the truth, among other things.