Come See Me Do Musical Improv In-Person In Toronto!

Kate Sloan

“What is musical improv, exactly?”

A number of friends have asked me this question over the past few months, as I’ve worked my way through the beginner and advanced musical improv classes at Comedy Bar here in Toronto.

I’m always glad they asked, because I’ve been obsessed with this art form for years, even before I gathered the guts to get involved in it myself. I could yap about it for hours.

our ask-for was “a room in the house”

the suggestion we got was “mud room”

I was given the song title “It’s Too Mud-Roomy”

I sang a soulful solo about divorce and muddy boots 😂

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— Kate Sloan (she/her) (@katesloan.com) April 4, 2025 at 11:43 AM

When they ask about it, I explain to them that this type of musical improv (as opposed to, say, instrumental jazz improv) involves singing songs you make up on the spot, with the help of a musical director who’s playing the piano. Often it’s shortform games you might’ve seen on old episodes of Whose Line Is It Anyway, like Hoedown or Irish Drinking Song, in which you make up lyrics as a group to a pre-existing melody.

But other times, we make up the lyrics and the melody simultaneously, and – to quote the musical improvisor Zach Reino – “if that sounds terrifying… thank you!”

It is terrifying, but that’s part of why I love it. You’re surfing the razor’s edge of adrenaline at all times, always trying to land that next line, that next rhyme. And because improv is based on the momentary impulses of our strange brains, sometimes it goes to some zany places.

yay, I can upload longer videos here now, so I can share this:

my solo song from my musical improv show earlier this week!

the suggestion I got was “THE VERY LAST PIZZA”

this show was completely wild for me because I wasn’t nervous at all, which I’m pretty sure has never happened to me in my LIFE

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— Kate Sloan (she/her) (@katesloan.com) March 12, 2025 at 11:03 AM

All this to say, darlings, that this semester I’ve been bumped up to the ‘pro’ musical improv class, and we’re doing a bunch of shows!! And you’re invited, assuming you’re in/near Toronto or can get here!

My class and I will be performing in 8 weekly shows at Comedy Bar’s Danforth location. You can buy tickets at this link for whichever performance(s) you’d like to attend. I’m gonna be in these ones:

  • Sunday, April 27th at 7:30 p.m.
  • Sunday, May 4th at 7:30 p.m.
  • Sunday, May 11th at 7:30 p.m.
  • Sunday, May 18th at 7:30 p.m.
  • Sunday, May 25th at 7:30 p.m.
  • Sunday, June 1st at 7:30 p.m.
  • Sunday, June 8th at 7:30 p.m.
  • Sunday, June 15th at 7:30 p.m.

Incidentally, each of these shows ends with a musical ‘improv jam’ where you can (optionally!) put your name in a hat and get called up to do impromptu improv with a bunch of other cool comedy nerds, myself likely included (depending on post-show energy levels). So if you enjoy the show and it gets you curious about trying musical improv yourself, you can give it a shot immediately, with supportive folks – including (I think) our ultra-talented musical director Jacob Ollivier on the keys!

if I may tempt you further, here is a brief clip from my last musical improv show, of me improvising a blues verse about spaceships & Jeff Bezos 🚀

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— Kate Sloan (she/her) (@katesloan.com) March 4, 2025 at 5:31 PM

It’s so exciting to be doing so much improv performance again; prior to this latest stint, I hadn’t really done improv since high school (which was 14 years ago!!), and getting back into it has reminded me that laughter and joy are more important now than ever… and that when you force yourself to do fun-scary things, it gets easier to do hard-scary things, too.

Hope to see you at Comedy Bar for some unhinged, off-the-cuff musical fun 😘

Behind the Seams: What Does a Queer Femme Wear to Improv Classes & Shows?

Kate Sloan

Over the past 5 months or so, I’ve been getting back into improv, for the first time since high school. (I’m 32, so high school was a while ago now!)

Yep – after literal years of saying I wanted to do so, I’m taking improv classes again. Specifically, musical improv. Making up songs, live on stage, in front of people. Yes, it is as terrifying as it sounds!! And yet it also feels like exactly what I need right now: a place where I go every week to have fun, try stuff out, play. (And it sure helps that my teachers and fellow classmates have been incredible, too.)

I knew I found the improv part intimidating, but until my first day of class, I didn’t realize quite how intimidating a task it was to get dressed for improv. A lot of my super-weirdo queer-femme wardrobe just isn’t suitable for it at all, for reasons I’ll get into this post, as I tell you my 4 rules for improv-wear, which I’ve learned from coaches, teachers, and plain ol’ experience over the years.

For example, the image above is a good demonstration of Rule #1: Solid colors are best.

Have you ever been to a show where one of the performers was wearing an undeniably distinctive shirt – maybe it featured a band’s name, a rude slogan, or a cartoon animal – and you found yourself unable to fully focus on anything else, because the shirt was so distracting? Yeah, that’s really not ideal for improv. You want the audience focused on what you’re saying (or singing!), not what you’re wearing. Even your fellow improvisors can get distracted by what you’re wearing, and it can influence the scenes you end up doing – so to avoid all that, I try to wear clothes with no visible logos/slogans or wild patterns. Just basic solid colors. (Even if they happen to be hot pink.)

What I’m wearing:

• Pink knit hat – Only
• Blue cashmere cardigan – Gap
• Pink modal tank top – Old Navy
• Jeans – Everlane (they will appear again in this post, because, as mentioned, I am a femme and don’t own very many pairs of pants, period 😂)
• Pink leather Doc Martens
• Little pink leather bag – Coach (gift from my wife)

I took this latest round of classes during a bitterly cold Canadian winter, so I became extra aware of the importance of Rule #2: Dress comfortably.

In improv, you’re making split-second decisions based on the most fleeting of impulses. Losing your train of thought mid-sentence (or mid-song) makes you look bad, makes your scene partners look bad, and makes the audience doubt you as a performer – so you gotta wear clothes that aren’t going to distract you in any way.

That means: Nothing itchy, nothing too restrictive, no dangly earrings, nothing where straps might fall down or buttons might burst open, nothing that you think you look bad in… and nothing that fucks with your body temperature to a distracting degree. In my case, we were practicing and performing in spaces that were kept pretty cold – so I wore a sweater and a beanie to class practically every single week, because it sucks to try to sing when your teeth are chattering!

What I’m wearing:

• Green knit beanie – Only
• Blue cashmere sweater – J. Crew
• Jeans – Everlane
• Black leather Doc Martens

Here’s what I wore to my showcase show for the beginner musical improv class, back in December. I was so nervous I thought I might collapse on stage!! (I didn’t.) But you know what I wasn’t nervous about? Slipping and falling. And that’s because I followed Rule #3: Wear footwear you can be agile in.

Don’t get me wrong; there are femme improvisors out there who perform in heels. I’ve seen some of them do it, and I admire the fuck out of their otherworldly tenacity. But for the rest of us mere mortals, if we’re gonna be scramblin’ around the stage, we need to wear shoes made for scramblin’.

You’ll notice, for instance, that in all of these photos, I am wearing either Doc Martens or Converse sneakers. They have grippy bottoms (ooh, great name for a gay bar if you need one!) so I know I won’t slide around on stage. They’re also comfortable enough that I can stand in them for at least a couple of hours without my feet hurting too badly.

What I’m wearing:

• White T-shirt – gift
• Black dress – from when I dressed as Bettie Page for Halloween a few years ago
• Black leggings – H&M
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers
• Apple Watch w/ Hermès band

These pictures are more recent and are from my latest showcase, with the advanced class. (I sang about murderous mountains and the very last pizza, among other things.) The smiley one was taken on stage, right before my first-ever solo musically improvised song. I wasn’t even nervous! Wild stuff! Improv classes are magic!

As I got dressed for this show, I thought about a time when my high school improv coach told us we weren’t allowed to wear skirts or dresses. One of the other queer femmes on the team (there were a lot of us) piped up: “Why not?” Our coach shook his head slowly and said, “I’ve seen some shit.”

No doubt he had. Improv can take you to some weird places, and I’ve definitely seen the occasional errant buttcrack or panty-flash in certain physically active scenes, which is why I believe staunchly in Rule #4: Protect against wardrobe malfunctions.

This is a sex-positive blog, so let me be clear that I have no issue with nudity, or with bodies themselves – if you’re doing an improv set at a swingers’ club or on a nude beach, by all means, wear clothing that will spill off of you at the slightest provocation, or none at all! But most improvisors will want to avoid these sorts of slippages; they are potentially embarrassing, could make the audience feel weird, and are (at the very least) distracting as hell for audience and performers alike. It’s for this reason that I never wear just a dress or skirt to an improv class or show – in this case I wore leggings and a long-sleeved shirt under my dress, and in the summertime I might instead wear a plain bralette and some bike shorts underneath. I really don’t want to be thinking about my tits when I’m improvising, thanks.

What I’m wearing:

• Black long-sleeved shirt – gift from my mama
• Blue floral-print wrap dress – Tommy Bahama; gift from my spouse (originally purchased to wear to her birthday party last December)
• Black leggings – American Eagle
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Yellow bag – Kate Spade

Any other improv people wanna weigh in on femme-improvisor attire in the comments? I’m considering getting a pair of denim overalls next…

How I Fell in Love With Cock & Ball Torture 😈 💜

Kate Sloan

Helen: You can’t possibly know how you’ll respond to something until you try it.

Jessica: I happen to disagree. I happen to think, if you know yourself well, you can gauge how you’re going to react to something…

Helen: You know how you’ll react to everything?

Jessica: Pretty much, yes.

[Helen suddenly kisses her; Jessica falls silent, shocked]

Helen: I guess you’re right. You seem to know yourself pretty well.

This dialogue from the movie Kissing Jessica Stein sums up exactly why it took me so long to realize I liked doing cock & ball torture (a.k.a. CBT, not to be confused with cognitive-behavioral therapy). I thought I knew myself well enough to already know, more-or-less, which kinks could appeal to me and which simply couldn’t. But I was wrong about that.

 

My first CBT experience

My first few penis’ed partners had no interest in genital torture – and to be fair, neither did I – so it wasn’t until my mid-twenties that I encountered someone who wanted me to hurt his dick.

He brought it up during a late-night handjob. We hadn’t been dating for very long, and I was still trying to get a grasp on what worked for him, so to speak. I hadn’t been able to make him come yet, despite ample effort and interest; I had only occasionally laid beside him in bed while he got himself off instead.

Tonight I’d wanted to give it another go, but his dick still seemed unimpressed. So I floundered, technique-wise, trying anything I could think of, until… he put his hand on mine, to pause my stroking, and said, simply: “Pinch the skin as hard as you can.”

I remember thinking: As HARD as I CAN?! Are you SURE?!

But lo and behold, when I picked a spot on his shaft and followed his instruction, within seconds he was coming all over my hands.

That relationship didn’t last long, for a whole host of reasons (some sexual, some less so), but it taught me some important lessons that I would take with me into the rest of my sex & dating life – including that dick pain could be a turn-on for some people, and that apparently I was one of those people.

 

Why I like CBT now

It’s been nearly a decade since that initial pinchy handjob that kicked everything off, and I’ve done a fair bit more CBT since then. I’m certainly no pro, like the ballbusting experts you’ll see on clip sites and at certain fetish parties (you know who you are!), but I do it semi-regularly and with relish. Here are a few reasons I like topping for CBT…

• Hurting people who want to be hurt is hot! I wouldn’t enjoy slapping someone’s dick around unless they really, really wanted me to, because masochists’ desire for pain and positive responses to pain are what make the interaction sexy to me, for the most part. Someone begging you to hurt them, if you’re both into that, can be as hot as someone begging you to fuck them, and for the same reasons: it means they want you and they trust you. That’s high praise!

• Penises are culturally weighty. Slapping someone’s cock is really different from slapping, say, their ass or their face. Not only does it feel very physically different because of the different concentrations of nerve endings involved; it also feels pretty different psychologically for both the top and the bottom. People’s feelings about their own genitals may relate to their understandings of gender, power, desirability/attractiveness, and more, and all of that may come up during CBT play (which is part of why pre-negotiation and aftercare are so important!). Likewise, I know my own feelings about CBT as a top are influenced by cultural baggage I’ve absorbed about dicks; over the course of my life, I have felt afraid of them, fascinated by them, desirous of them, and often some combination thereof, so it’s an interesting experience psychologically to inflict consensual pain on one.

• New routes to pleasure/orgasm are cool! Few things are sexier to me than seeing someone being overwhelmed by pleasure, especially unexpectedly intense pleasure – and even though I’ve made my partner come many times by slapping their cock at this point, I still find it astonishing every single time. Aside from that one experience with a previous partner that I described above, neither my spouse nor I had played with this kink to this extent before, so it feels intimate and sweet that we’ve found this new-to-us way to share pleasure through pain.

 

How about you, dear reader? Are you a CBT aficionado, or is it a bridge too far for your delicate, uh, sensibilities? 😉

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Valm 8-inch realistic dual-density dildo

Kate Sloan

This might be the perfect realistic dildo.

So perfect, in fact, that I was FURIOUS when someone in my building STOLE THE PACKAGE containing my custom-made dong, before I was able to retrieve it from outside my door.

And so perfect, indeed, that when Valm sweetly offered to just mail me another one, I was so delighted that all my anger at the anonymous dildo thief dissipated in the wind. I hope they’re enjoying my dildo, wherever they are. I know I am.

That gradient tho

Customization options

In terms of shape and size, Valm’s dildo options are simple and straightforward: there’s a 6-inch version, an 8-inch one (which is the one I chose to review, because my vagina is Goldilocks, apparently), a 10-inch and a 12-inch. Size queens/kings/monarchs, take note!

Each size option is available in 3 different silicone formulations: single-density, dual-density, and triple-density. Multi-density silicone is often used to make dildos feel more realistic – it means that the toy has a firm silicone core, with one or two layers of softer silicone on top. This creates a more lifelike penis-esque feeling, and also allows a dildo to be firm enough to stroke internal erogenous zones while also being squishy enough to be super comfortable.

The more silicone densities a dildo has, the more realistic it tends to feel – but more densities also means a higher price, so keep that in mind when making a decision. For instance, the dildo I’m reviewing is dual-density and costs $161, while the single-density and triple-density versions of the same size cost $117 and $191, respectively.

Most glorious of all is the color options. You can get Valm toys in a couple of different skin tones or various bright colors. They’re also able to do custom gradients. I thought long and hard (dick joke barely intended) about what I wanted, and eventually settled on a gradient: the dildo is neon orange fading into hot pink toward the base of the shaft. Words and photos cannot do justice to how eye-gougingly bright it is IRL. It is technicolor. It is camp. It is 1960s (like this Gala Darling outfit). I love it so much.

Things I like about this dildo

  • The colors. Have I mentioned the colors?! This thing is soooo bright!
  • The dual-density silicone does indeed feel really real. The head is especially squishy, which allows it to nudge up into my A-spot easily without bothering my cervix (unless I’m especially zealous). It’s firmer through the shaft, which is ideal, IMO, but still soft enough to give me that satisfying stress-ball-squish feeling when I come around it.
  • The size is great for me. While the dildo is 8” in total, its insertable length is 7.25”, so it can reach my A-spot with ease. The diameter is 1.65”, which manages to feel both pleasantly filling and ultra-comfortable for me (when I’m turned on enough, of course).
  • The coronal ridge, while not as pronounced as those I’ve seen on some other dildos, juts out enough that it feels amazing each time it strokes over my A-spot. Once I get this dildo nestled as deep as I want it, I barely have to move it in and out at all to get some pretty intense A-spot stimulation.
  • With its balls and suction cup base, this dildo is anal-safe, strap-on compatible, and can be stuck to hard flat surfaces for hands-free use (like shower walls, kitchen floors, or glass coffee tables – hey, you do you). The chunky base works well as a handle when thrusting, even on days when my hands are sore.
  • The surface of the silicone is unusually glide-y (as opposed to draggy) when well-lubricated, so I can thrust it fast and hard without encountering much resistance – which some people might not like, if they enjoy a lot of friction against their vaginal or anal walls, but I like it because it means my hands and arms don’t get sore from thrusting this dildo.

Things I don’t like about this dildo

  • Its shaft is quite straight, so if you’re looking for a G-spot-focused dildo, look elsewhere. As mentioned, I love this toy for A-spot stim, but that’s not everyone’s jam, and that’s fine.
  • The hyper-realistic ridges and folds around the head of the dildo, which are meant to look like (and indeed do look like) the corresponding features on a human penis, are pronounced enough on this toy that they can be mildly annoying to clean. Get in there with an old toothbrush or a washcloth and you should be fine.
  • The price points of these dildos are somewhat high compared to other dual-density options I’ve seen, but they are made in the USA, which I’m sure is part of the reason for that and which may justify the cost for some buyers.

Final thoughts

To me, the Valm dual-density 8-inch is the Platonic ideal of a realistic dildo. Gorgeous colors. Pleasurable shape. Not too big, not too small, but just right (for me, anyway!). Firm where it needs to be, and squishy where it needs to be. Versatile, chameleonic, a cock-of-all-trades.

Wherever my first one ended up, I hope its thief sees its simple brilliance and beauty as clearly as I do.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

15 Ways to Feel Luxurious Pleasure (At Any Budget!)

Kate Sloan

Pleasure seems to be in short supply these days. With so many of us either suffering directly or glued to the endless of doomscroll of other people’s suffering (or both, ugh), it would make total sense if you’ve been finding it difficult to access pleasure and joy lately.

But – as adrienne maree brown argues in her wonderful book Pleasure Activism – pleasure is important not only as a calming counterbalance to all the world’s stressors, but also as a guiding force that helps remind us what we’re fighting for.

Even “pleasure professionals,” like sex toy reviewers (hi, it me!) and escort service providers, can sometimes struggle to set aside enough time for pleasure, let alone enough money – so I gather that the average person struggles with this even more. Here, for your perusal, is a list of some key categories where I think pleasure is important, with 3 actionable suggestions at different price points in each category. I hope it inspires you to think about how you can bring more pleasure into your life today!

 

Food/drink pleasure

$ (free–$20): Raid your fridge/cupboard/liquor cabinet and try to mix yourself an original cocktail/mocktail. Ideally it’d be delicious, but hey, sometimes failed experiments are the most hilarious kind.

$$ ($20-100): Find a recipe online that you’ve never tried and would like to, shop for all the ingredients, and put on some great music in the kitchen while you cook. (If you hate cooking, maybe you can bribe a loved one with wine/pie/compliments to do it for you, and then enjoy the meal together?)

$$$ ($100+): Do some research to find a restaurant in your area that offers a tasting menu (or a bar that offers ‘flights’) that appeals to you and fits within your budget, and then go enjoy a cavalcade of fancy flavors. If you’re so inclined, invite a partner or friend along, and dress up!

 

Sound/music pleasure

$: Seek out some new music online (or at your local library, if you wanna go old-school!) and listen to it with your eyes closed, concentrating on it, meditating on it, letting it take you where it will.

$$: Look up local music venues and see what’s coming up – and then get yourself a ticket to an orchestral performance, or go see some jazz at a club, or lug out your steel-toed boots to go mosh with some youths at a rock show. Notice how the music affects your body.

$$$: Get yourself a musical instrument, maybe one you’ve never played or owned before, and spend some time teaching yourself how to play (there are tons of tutorials on YouTube and elsewhere) and/or jamming out. (If you have no idea where to start, might I suggest the ukulele? You can get a decent beginner’s one for under $50 and a great-sounding one for under $200.)

 

Mental/intellectual pleasure

$: Set aside a chunk of time to leisurely read a book you’ve been wanting to get to, perhaps with a nice cup of coffee/tea/hot chocolate to sip on while you read. (If you’re fresh out of good reading material, get on Google to find your closest Little Free Library and go exchange a book or two for something new-to-you.)

$$: Go see a movie you’ve been wanting to see, either by yourself or with a loved one. Optionally, bring a little notebook and pen and take notes like an insufferable cinephile. Or just sit back shoving popcorn into your face and let the art wash over you.

$$$: Get yourself a ticket to some live theatre – maybe a big showy musical, maybe an intense play, maybe an experimental one-person show put on by your local absurdist clown collective, who the hell knows. If you’re brave enough, make friends with the people sitting around you at intermission and discuss the Themes and Message of the work, assuming it has any.

 

Sexual and body-based pleasure

$: Get your hands on a bottle of coconut oil, almond oil, or similar – whether you grab it from your kitchen cabinet or from your local grocery store – and use it to massage a partner, or yourself. Go slow and be mindful of each touch to make your massage into a meditation. Ahhh, my body feels calmer just thinking about it.

$$: Get thee to a yoga class, spin class, Zumba class, or whatever else sounds like a fun way to move your body. If no such thing sounds fun to you (#relatable), maybe the money would be better spent on a visit to your local spa for a pedicure, facial, sensory-deprivation tank float, or similar.

$$$: In the mood to feel truly spoiled with pleasure? Reach out to your local luxury escort agency about hiring a pro for an evening (or longer, big spender!). Depending on the particular offerings of the provider you hire, your session could be anything from a sensual sadomasochism scene to an erotic massage to an unforgettable sexual experience. After all, if you want something done right, it’s often best to hire a professional…

 

Play/fun

$: Pick a creative activity you’ve never/rarely done before, or just aren’t good at (music production, drawing, video editing, graphic design?), and spend a couple hours trying to make something, teaching yourself the necessary skills through research and experimentation as you go. Play around, try stuff out, and remember that the process is the point!

$$: Buy yourself a new video game and set aside some chill time to play it. (Even if you’re not typically a video game person/don’t own a console, there are many many games available for phones and computers these days!)

$$$: Sign up for an improv class, art class, dance class, or some other fun creative thing that’ll get you socializing and ‘playing’ on a regular basis. Play is good for our brains, even as adults (perhaps especially as adults), and we shouldn’t stop doing it just because we grow up!

 

What are your favorite ways to access pleasure these days?

 

This post contains paid links. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.