12 Days of Girly Juice 2016: 10 Perfect Sex Songs

Kate Sloan

I’m a music nerd and a sex nerd, so of course, one of the things I get nerdy about is sex music. I have an ever-expanding playlist of sexy tunes, the perfect soundtrack for sheddin’ yer clothes and bangin’ yer babe. Here are my 2016 favorites, hand-picked to facilitate your melodious fucktimes…

Yuna feat. Usher – Crush. At one point this year, a friend gave me some verrrrry potent weed while I was at his house, and I started to “green out.” I was dizzy, paranoid, and nauseous. To calm me down, my friend showed me the video for this song, which he’d only just discovered. It’s such a groovy, juicy slow-jam that it did indeed calm my nerves and lull me into relaxation. I thought I’d like it less if I re-listened while sober, but nope: still a solid sex song.

Campsite Dream – Kiss Me. This dancefloor-appropriate cover of the Sixpence None the Richer classic is sweet, simple, and pretty. I like a raunchy, X-rated jam as much as the next gal, but there is something uniquely appealing about songs that are subtler in their flirtation. Who doesn’t have a fond memory of a kiss that was utterly chaste and yet meant absolutely everything?

Chet Baker – My Funny Valentine. An oldie but a reeeeal goodie, which only just made its way into my sex-song rotation this past year. Chet’s voice is like a droplet of hazelnut coffee dripping languorously down a swatch of dark velvet. There are other renditions of this song I like better (Rickie Lee Jones’ comes to mind), but for pure carnal appeal, this one wins out.

Nick Jonas – Don’t Make Me Choose. Nick’s Last Year Was Complicated was indubitably one of my favorite albums of 2016. It’s chock full of sexiness (“How did our clothes end up all on the floor? Didn’t we just break each other’s hearts?”) but I think this is the smoothest song of the bunch. Nick’s effortless, slightly whiny falsetto is delicious.

Naive Thieves – Anxieté. Another of my most-adored albums this year was Naive Thieves’ Vamonos, which came out in 2014 but took me til 2016 to discover. The lead singer of this band has a voice like molasses; I find it hot any time, but especially when I’m high (a lot of music makes me wet when I’m high, actually). The whole record is full of yummy, jumpy pop, but Anxieté is the song I most want to fuck to. It’s flustered, frantic, and tense – like a memorable quickie in a bar bathroom on an ill-advised Friday night.

Bahamas – All the Time. “I’ve got all the time in the world,” this song begins, and that sentiment is echoed in the music itself: it’s slow, languorous, rhythmically sidling toward its lazy goal. It feels like a Sunday-morning fuck, when the sun arcs in through an open window and makes your darling’s face even more radiant than usual. It feels like being awoken by a boner pressed up against your ass. It feels like your sweetheart bringing you a perfect cup of coffee after they make you come spectacularly, and then snuggling up against you and saying, “Mmm.”

The Neighbourhood – Daddy Issues. Look, if you want your song to get my attention, put “daddy” in the title. But this song delivers, even once you move past the name. “Go ahead and cry, little girl. Nobody does it like you do,” the singer purrs. “And if you were my little girl, I’d do whatever I could do.” This is the most sexualized version of a daddy/girl dynamic I’ve ever heard in a song, and dammit, it’s lovely.

A Yawn Worth Yelling – Empty Space. This band’s EP Start Somewhere became a mental mantra for me in early 2016, something to listen to on loop when I was anxious or sad and needed to calm down. It’s angry and whiny, in typical pop-punk fashion, but the lyrics are smart and the melodies are clever. There was comfort in thrashing the same songs over and over until I knew them inside and out. I want to get fucked to Empty Space while someone cute kisses my neck and grips my wrists.

Johnny Stimson – So Good. This song is sexy in the way that Marvin Gaye’s songs were, with a splash of early Justin Timberlake for good measure. It feels like an unexpected kiss from your lover in the middle of the street during a leisurely autumn stroll. They back you up against a fence and step right into your space, and for a moment you’re embarrassed, but then you’re too turned on to care.

Alina Baraz feat. Galimatias – Pretty Thoughts. An Alina Baraz song made it onto last year’s list, too; she’s a returning champion. What can I say: her music is dangerous. Play this song in front of someone you find attractive, who finds you attractive too, and just try not to have sex. I dare you.

 

What were your favorite sex songs this year, darlings?

Slinky Costumes for Minxy Kinksters

Kate Sloan

For a femme like me, dressing up for sex can be almost as much fun as the sex itself. I love to dress day-to-day according to how I want to feel more than how I want to look, and sex attire is one area where that’s especially important. Feeling like a foxy babe will help you project that foxy-babe energy into the sex you have, making it more fun and carefree for both you and your partner.

With that in mind, I’ve partnered with Temptations Direct to show you some saucy ensembles I’d love to wear in the bedroom (or a bathroom, or a kitchen, or in a dark alleyway…) to jazz up a fantasy scenario or just to make myself feel goddamn fantastic.

naughty-nurse

Mmmedical play. I’ve never been big into the “sexy nurse” fantasy, but I do have a thing for 19th-century “hysteria” doctors (a horrifically sexist notion IRL, but a strangely appealing one to me in fantasy-land). I’d love to slip into a nurse costume with matching stockings and have a partner portray a harried doctor, well-accustomed to bringing women off with his hands or a newfangled steam-powered massager. “Oh, Doctor,” I’d pant helplessly, “I think helping you treat all of these hysteria patients has made me come down with a touch of hysteria myself!”

“Never fear,” he would reply. “We have the technology to cure you.” And then he’d lie me back on a paper-covered table and begin to slowly lubricate his speculum. “Thank you, Doctor,” I’d coo preemptively while watching him plug in his vibrator of choice…

sorority-girl

Sorority girl. Normally I like my partner to be the powerful one in a kink scene, not me – but occasionally it’s hot to hold all the cards. I can see myself roleplaying as a stereotypical Hot Girl – say, at a sorority house Halloween kegger. I could slip into a pale pink “sexy bunny” costume with matching lingerie underneath. My partner, clad in a dweeby button-up shirt, khaki slacks, and horn-rimmed glasses, would portray a nerd who’d garnered an invitation to the party by doing someone’s philosophy homework for her.

I like the idea of someone feeling so lucky to have the chance to bone me. In real life, being put on a pedestal feels gross and objectifying, but in fantasy, it can be hot to have that much power over someone. “Hey, nerd, I’m horny and bored,” I’d tipsily shout at my bespectacled partner over the top of a red plastic cup. “Want a blowjob?” And then I’d watch his eyes light up like I’d just handed him a bar of gold.

daddys-little-fucktoy

Daddy’s good little fucktoy. This fantasy is more standard fare for me: being a very good girl for a benevolent but authoritative dom. I could easily roleplay this type of scenario at least half the time I have sex and be very pleased indeed.

I love the idea of getting myself ready for Daddy before he even arrives. I’d wriggle into a tight pink dress and stockings (and nothing else), slip on some pink wrist restraints, and position myself face-down and ass-up on a bed, ready to be used. Quite an inviting tableau for a partner to arrive home to…

schoolgirl

Teacher’s pet. The “sexy schoolgirl” is a clichéd sexual archetype, but damn, it still turns my crank. I love the thought of being so distractingly attractive, my handsome domly professor not only loses his train of thought mid-lecture but considers breaking school regulations to get with me.

A classic schoolgirl costume would pair well with risqué lingerie designed to make Professor Handsome gasp when he disrobed me. And then he would bend me over his desk, shove a juicy red apple in my mouth as a ballgag, and spank me with a ruler until I’d learned not to distract him in class. My sincerest apologies, sir.

 

What are your favorite characters to play and costumes to wear during sex?

 

Heads up: this post was made possible by Temptations Direct, but as always, all writing and opinions are my own!

12 Days of Girly Juice 2016: 11 Favorite Blog Posts

Kate Sloan

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2016 was a big year for this here blog: my traffic doubled, my website now brings in more than one-third of my income, and I published my 500th post earlier this week! Of course, none of this would’ve been possible without people to read my writing, so: thank you. Thank you for sticking with me, thank you for “getting” what I do, thank you for supporting me financially and tweeting at me and leaving me sweet comments. Every day that I get to write for you is a good day!

On that note: here are my 11 favorite blog posts I wrote this year. I’d love to hear which posts were your faves, too!

In January, I wrote No Moment Is Unendurable and Other Life Lessons I Learned From Getting Spanked. It was perhaps the first time I seriously delved into the intersections between kink and mental health, which was a major theme of my work this year. The article is about how getting spanked, in an almost Zen-like way, taught me that pain is not inherently bad, and that enduring it is not only possible but makes me feel like a badass. That’s a lesson I’ve taken with me into all sorts of scary or painful situations: new jobs, new projects, break-ups, rejections, and plain ol’ bad depression days. This is the kind of shit I mean when I say that sex is holistic and informs many different aspects of our lives!

In February I had what I can only refer to as a “blowjob epiphany”: I started liking BJs after feeling lukewarm-at-best about them until then. I wrote about it in a piece called A Dick Worth Sucking, in which I outlined the qualities that do, indeed, make a dick worth sucking. Shortly after writing this post, I was invited to perform in a sexy story slam at Oasis Aqualounge, and I read this piece aloud – to lots of laughs and jeers of approval from the audience, natch.

Later that month, I lost my “butt virginity,” and wrote about the experience in a post titled How to Have Anal Sex for the First Time (If You Are Me). Initially I wasn’t sure if writing it in the second person would work, but I loved the idea of it: I wanted it to induce the same giddy nervousness in the reader that I felt when it was actually happening to me. Sometimes I get cringe-y when I try to write straight-up sex stories from my life, because it’s vulnerable and difficult work, but I think in this case the result was worth all that cringing.

In May, I wrote about one of the highlights of my year, in a post called I Met My Sex-Positive Hero (And We Kissed). It chronicled the backstory of why I desperately wanted to meet Kidder Kaper – my childhood obsession with his podcast, the sex-positive revelations he wrought on my life – and then the eventful drama of actually meeting him: fervent Google searches, friends-of-friends connecting us, and a jitter-jumpy walk to that Minneapolis café. It was quite an adventure, and I’m glad I wrote about it while it was fresh in my mind!

Mid-year, I received a diagnosis of bipolar affective disorder (type II), and wrote about it in a post called I’m an Obsessive, Intense Weirdo and I Wouldn’t Trade It For Anything. It felt good to “come out” about a part of me I’d tried to keep hidden for so long: my utter and complete lack of “chill.” Getting that diagnosis helped me understand myself and my moods and behaviors a lot better, so I felt it was important to share with my readers as well.

In June I was sent a pair of butt plug shoes from Ainsley-T, and I wrote about it in a post called I Stuck a Shoe In My Ass So You Don’t Have To (Unless You Really, Really Want To). In some ways, it felt like a return to my roots: when I first started my blog, I was heavily inspired by Epiphora and her snarky sex toy reviews, and I longed to write reviews as hilarious and dramatic as hers. This post was an opportunity to write a “review” that felt more like a funny anecdote shared over drinks with friends, a style that turns my crank more now than writing straight-up-and-down product reviews.

Maybe my favorite post of the year was I’m a Good Girl, a series of vignettes about formative moments in my relationship with the phrase “good girl.” This was a prescient piece, given that I got that phrase tattooed on me mere months later. A lot of people wrote to me to say that this piece resonated with them or even made them cry, and that response gave me the confidence to write more personal pieces along those lines later in the year.

Reprising the topic of kink and mental health, in July I wrote Meditation, Mindfulness, and My Slutty Mouth, a piece about how blowjobs can be a meditative and calming act for me when anxiety and depression are kicking my ass. I’d never really heard anyone talk about this before, so I felt it was important to write – and, indeed, a lot of people wrote to me to say that they’d experienced similar “flow states” from performing oral sex and had never had the terminology for it before. Isn’t sex fascinating?!

One of my most-shared posts of the year was 5 Awkward But Effective Ways I’ve Initiated Sex. I think it resonated with folks because everyone wants to be a smooth operator but most people just aren’t that confident in their desirability and their “game.” I’m always trying to model an approach to sex that is fun, low-pressure, and adorably dorky, since I think most of our media models of sexuality are unachievably smooth and polished. It’s okay to be an awkward bunny in bed!

In late August, I received a firm-‘n’-final rejection from someone I’d had a crush on forever. I spent a week in bed crying and then I wrote The Quick-Start Guide to Getting Over Someone. Like I say in the post, it’s not an authoritative or exhaustive list of instructions; it’s just the strategies that have worked for me. And indeed, they did work. I’m still squeegeeing emotional detritus off the dirty windshield that is my heart, but at least it’s no longer agonizing. At least now I can look at him without wanting to cry. At least now I can get out of bed. That’s small, but it’s also big, you know?

My most popular post of the whole year was “Every Feminist’s Ideal Boyfriend…” It began as a response to an angry blog post about me which claimed that feminist women are more into Hitachi Magic Wands than men. I sought to prove that the two are not mutually exclusive, by sharing stories of times I’ve used vibrators with partners to spectacular effect. This piece got shared so widely that I even received some hate mail about it, which is how you know you’re doing evocative work!

What were your favorite pieces on my blog this year? How about your favorite posts on other blogs?

12 Days of Girly Juice 2016: 12 Femme Essentials

Kate Sloan

It’s December, and that means 12 Days of Girly Juice kicks off today! It’s my annual year-end series where I compile the best of the best from my whole year: everything from selfies to tweets to sexual encounters. Today we’re focusing on femme stuff – my favorite things that made me feel feminine, fancy and fiiine the whole year long.

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Hair

Bobby pins. There are some tragically unsung heroes of the beauty world – a really great hairbrush, a black eyeliner that is truly black, an eyeshadow blending brush that just works – and bobby pins are one of them. This year I used them for three primary purposes: to set my hair in pincurls (after creating the curls with a turquoise NuMe curling iron), to erect the front part of my hair in a triumphant pomp, and to pin bandanas into place so I could rock those rockabilly vibes all day long. I always carry bobby pins in my purse – they’re equally great if you need to pick a lock, scrub ash out of your bong’s bowl (#StonerLyfe!), or pin your bangs out of your face for an impromptu BJ. Soooo useful!

DevaCurl Ultra Defining Gel. This is the good shit. I have so much hair-admiration for my curly-headed sex blogger friends – Epiphora, Suz, and Hedonish, to name a few – but my own curls have always been hit-or-miss, because taking care of curly hair is so much work. However, this year I found a routine that works for me and creates excellent curls when that’s what I want to do. After washing and conditioning my hair, I use a cotton T-shirt to “scrunch” the excess moisture out of it, and then I flip my head over and scrunch in a few dollops of DevaCurl gel. Once that’s done, I cram my gestating curls into a Turbie Twist to help them dry even more. After at least an hour of turban’ed time, my hair’s ready to be taken out and air-dried – at which point, it becomes gloriously curly. DevaCurl’s products are brilliant, and the Ultra Defining Gel, in particular, rocks my world. I can go multiple days without needing to re-set my curls because this stuff keeps ’em in place for so long. YESSS!

Bandanas. I have always loved the rockabilly look – I gorged my eyes on SuicideGirls and old Bettie Page photos from practically the moment I discovered the internet – and I’ve attempted to replicate it to varying degrees of success over the years. In mid-2016 I briefly dated someone who loved that look, so I’d sometimes dress up as his good little Rosie the Riveting, complete with bandana, winged eyeliner, and red lipstick. I adore that aesthetic so much that it endured in my life even after that relationship ended. I especially love the delicious subversion of “queering” this classic 1950s look by choosing my bandana colors according to the hanky code.

img_5218Cosmetics

LORAC Pro palette. I am an extravagant femme, and therefore, I own an excess of eyeshadow palettes. There are many I love for their outlandishness or uniqueness – the Sugarpill Sweetheart palette, for example, or the Wet ‘n’ Wild Petal Pusher palette – but LORAC Pro is my favorite and most-used one, by a longshot. With its eight glitter shadows and eight mattes, all brilliantly pigmented and wonderfully blendable, it’s simply the most versatile bunch of neutrals I’ve ever owned. Whether I’m doing an everyday look or going all-out glamour-femme, I’m likely to reach for my LORAC Pro palette.

img_5216“Sleepy Sloan.” This is the name Tynan gave to the essential oil blend she custom-made for me, even though its effects don’t have anything to do with sleep; it’s just a cute name. I still adore this fragrance as much as I did when she first blended it for me. There’s a drop of it on the collar of my shirt or dress most days I go out, because it comforts and uplifts me.

Revlon lipstick in “Fire & Ice.” I didn’t think much of this lipstick when I first bought it. It’s a classic red that leans slightly orange, which has traditionally not been my jam; I’m more of a blue-based-reds girl. But this color has really grown on me: it’s punchy, saucy, and assertive, just like me on my best and boldest days. Slicking my lips in Fire & Ice gives me an easy confidence, a high-femme swagger. A tube costs about $8 at any drugstore, an admirable value for such a potent mood-booster.

img_5220Bourjois Rouge Edition liquid lipstick in “Pink Pong.” My other lipstick favorite in 2016 was, naturally, a bright pink. As a diehard devotee of pink lipsticks, I have lots of favorites – Bite’s “Violet,” NARS’ “Schiap,” and Revlon’s “Smitten,” to name a few – but this cool-toned, velvety pink really stole my heart this year. It’s not as long-lasting as some other liquid lipsticks I’ve tried, but it’s not as drying, either. If you’re looking for a hot pink that’ll light up your face and make your femme heart sing, this is one I’d recommend.

Clothes & Accessories

Aslan Leather collars. I have two: a pink one Bex bought me for my birthday and a black one I bought myself. I love them both. They’re comfy, good-lookin’, and they signal a bit o’ kink without being too over-the-top to wear in public. Oh, Aslan, why are you so good to us?

img_5221My hot pink Kate Spade purse. The model is the New Bond Street Florence. I bought it on a deep discount back in early 2014, but at that time, it felt almost too brashly femme for me; I was shyer then, and less willing to dress in a way that would command attention. But this year, I really “grew into” my gloriously pink handbag. It’s also conveniently big enough for my beloved MacBook Air, so I tote this bag on work-dates, weekend getaways, and airplanes. It makes me feel equal parts businesslady and fancy femme, and really, what more can you ask for?

MeUndies. I’ve enthused at you about these brilliant underthings before; I won’t repeat myself too much. Suffice it to say: it feels almost sinfully gratifying to swathe one’s genitals in lush, comfy fabric that’s covered in ghosts, donuts, dinosaurs, or little dancing dudes. All underwear should be this adorbz and well-made.

img_4819My new glasses. Before 2016, it had been a couple years since I’d gotten new glasses with my current prescription, and it was time. I’ve been trying to be braver and more authentically “me” lately, instead of always reverting to the shy, compliant little girl I’ve been forever, so I opted for some bold-as-hell frames when I bought new glasses this year. One pair is blue, one is black, and they’re both huge and distinctive. I feel like a hot nerdy bosslady when I wear them, which means I’ve been wearing glasses more often instead of just busting ’em out when I really need them. Hooray!

9279227874_ddd0ab3a62_kFrye harness boots. Mine are the 12R style in black, and I bought ’em back in January 2013. Since then, they’ve become my footwear of choice for so many different occasions: parties, dances, loungin’, adventurin’, performing at porn galas… Whatever my schedule calls for, really! This year I wore them in Malta, Rome, Minneapolis, Chicago, and Alexandria, among other places. These boots are such a signature part of my aesthetic that Caitlin said they felt like they were cosplaying as me when they wore a floral-print dress and boots. Here’s to plenty more exciting exploits in 2017 and plenty more stompin’ around in these durable, glamorous boots!

What were your favorite beauty and fashion items in 2016?

Monthly Faves: Handsex, Hot Doms, & a Happenstance Threesome

Kate Sloan

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I was very smitten with November. After coming back from a two-week stint overseas, I felt even more in love with my hometown of Toronto than I normally do – not to mention, extra appreciative of the friends I had left behind here. I spent a lot of this month laughing, talking, and/or having sex with people who are super important to me, and all of it felt cozy and affirming. ❤️ Here are some of the products, ideas, and experiences I loved most this month…

Sex toys

• Kenton from Funkit Toys sent me a prototype of his Signet, a textured ring meant to be worn on the fingers for added stimulation during handsex. I wore it out to some events and several people marveled at my “elegant” ring, which I found hilarious. I was excited to use it with my FWB, since he’s already one of the best fingerbangers I’ve ever encountered – and holy jeez, it was great. As soon as he started fucking me while wearing the Signet, my decibel level rapidly increased, such that he laughed and said, “Oh, you like that, huh?!” Indeed: the texture adds an intensity that makes fingerbanging – already a favorite act of mine – even more delicious. Go buy a Signet; you only have until December 9th to do so!

• I spent the first 8 days of the month in Europe with no sex toys at my disposal except the G-Spoon and Tango I’d impulsively decided to bring. When I’m at home, these are both “second-string” toys for me: I’ll reach for the G-Spoon if I’m not up to the task of accommodating the Double Trouble or Eleven‘s girth, or if I specifically want to fantasize about having my A-spot fingered, and I’ll grab the Tango if I want something more pinpoint than the Magic Wand or that I can take in the bath. But maaan, they sure did the trick. The easiest formula for getting me off is a rumbly clit vibe + an A-spot-focused dildo, and this combo totally wins by those criteria.

• I bought a Hole Punch Fluke in a gorgeous blue ombré colorway. My vagina is deeeeeply enamored. It’s moreso a vaginal plug than a dildo; I like keeping it inside me while I watch porn and hold a Magic Wand to my clit. It’s the laziest possible way to administer G-spot stimulation and I love it.

Fantasy fodder

• When I’m in the mood to watch a dominant lady boss people around and be mean to ’em – a rare craving for me, but a potent one when it does come up – my first choice is always Aiden Starr. She’s one of the best dirty-talkers in the biz and she follows through on her smack-talk. I like this clip of “mad scientist” Aiden studying Daisy Ducati’s ejaculations, and Aiden forcing an orgasm out of Sara Luvv with a clit pump and a wand vibe. Good gawd, lady’s got game.

• I mentioned this in my Double Trouble post, and probably repeatedly on Twitter, but I’m not over my usually-vanilla-but-sometimes-vaguely-dominant FWB telling me, “See what happens when you trust me?” after I took his advice to relax into pleasure and he made me come. He told me later that he keeps his dom-y dirty-talk infrequent, partly because it makes him nervous but partly because the effect is heightened if his quips are few and far between. Um, yup. Very yup.

Sexcetera

• Mid-month, I had some friends over for a get-together, and among them were my favorite fuckpal and a beautiful lady. The day before, Suz had dreamed we had a threesome, so it was on my mind… as was the fact that each of these people had independently told me they’d be down to threesome with the other one. I took them each aside to separately ask if they were feelin’ threesome-y, and they both said yes – so later that night, after my other guests had skedaddled, a magical threesome materialized in my bed. It involved marijuana, a double blowjob, fingerbanging, toy-ramming, ample use of the Magic Wand Rechargeable, and lots of giggly makeouts wherein me and Suz kept squealing “You’re so pretty!” at each other. Overall: fantastic.

• Remember earlier this month when I told you all about how weed makes sex better for me? Yeah, I really practiced what I preach this month. At one point, my FWB and I got super high and he did stuff to my nipples with his hands and mouth, and I actually felt like I was sailing out of my body and into the astral plane from the sheer ecstasy of it. “That was hot,” he told me afterward. Yes, it certainly was.

• Some of my work elsewhere this month: I enthused about temperature play and ranted about buying partners sex toys for Ignite. I have a column about the decline of PIV in the latest issue of This. And on our podcast, Bex and I talked about handsex, PIV, butt stuff, and sexting. (Are you subscribed to our show yet?!)

Femme stuff

• I wanted to buy something glamorous while in Italy (’cause “When in Rome”!), so I stopped into a Sephora and picked up Armani Rouge d’Armani lipstick in “Lucky Red.” It’s the exact kind of red I like best: classic, cool-toned, and creamy but not glossy. The magnetic-closure tube makes me feel like a futuristic megababe, and the shade itself is a hot pop of confidence. I loooove it.

• When I’m feeling sartorially uninspired, I like dressing with a particular character or occasion in mind. When I went to an Andy Shauf show this month, I dressed like a navel-gazing hipster so I’d fit in with his crowd. When depression made it hard for me to get out of bed on American Thanksgiving weekend, Bex sent me a picture of them in their fancy family dinner outfit and told me to wear what I’d wear if I was going to their dinner with them. Other recent “costumes” include “hot grown-up Wednesday Addams,” witchy goth babe, and “butch greaser.” Hey, whatever works.

• I’ve been wearing my hair very curly lately (see also, and also, and also). My hair is naturally wavy, but a little wizardry with DevaCurl gel and a Turbie Twist can kick it up to eleven. Having giant hair makes me feel powerful, and I dig it.

Little things

This guide to helping a partner who’s having an anxiety meltdown (potential suitors, take note!). Putting lipstick on my five-year-old cousin at her request. The extreme peacefulness of the Ġgantija ruins. Curvy-lady statuettes. Hazelnut gelato, tiramisu, and cacio e pepe. Artistic advice from people I respect. My friend Lilly’s post about the BlogSquad. My SAD lamp. Going clothes shopping with hot friends and gasping dramatically over how gorgeous they look. Dancing to the Elwins in a dim basement with a new friend. Crackin’ jokes with my ex in a blessedly not-awkward way. “I’d die if I saw you; I’d die if I didn’t see you there.” Friends who happily accept my introvert-y proclivities. Making sweet potato risotto while listening to The Adventure Zone. Meeting a guy with swoopy hair at a party and telling him he looked like a Pokémon villain. Intoxicated BJs. Getting sex toys in the mail (always). Touch the Skyrim. Laughin’ it up with Brent and a bunch of nerds at a Use Your Words playtest. Makin’ New Year’s Eve plans with some babes I adore. Telling stories at TMSG (ideally when the people the story’s about are sitting in the front row and giggling at me). Sleeping At Last’s Atlas: Year One and his new Christmas album. My FWB doing a spot-on impression of my sex noises for my amusement.

What were your fave sexy thingz this month, babes?