Review: We-Vibe Tango

Kate Sloan

I didn’t think much of We-Vibe’s line of clitoral vibrators when I first saw them. They’re the size of regular bullet vibes, which are so dime-a-dozen and unremarkable that many sex toy companies even give them away for free with pricier purchases. It was this video by Dodson and Ross that changed my mind – they claimed that their We-Vibe Tango rivaled the Hitachi in power. And it’s rechargeable. And waterproof. So I decided I needed one.

As for those claims about the Tango’s vibration strength – they are not inflated. At least, not by much. I did my research, and the Hitachi’s lower speed – considered too high by many – is 5000 RPM (rotations per minute), whereas the Tango’s highest speed is 4800. RPM refers to rumbliness (lower is rumblier, higher is buzzier), not actual motor strength, but keep in mind that rumbly vibes often feel stronger than buzzy ones, even when they’re not, because the rumbles penetrate deeper into the clitoral network. The Tango has oomph that only a devotee of the Hitachi or Wahl would scoff at (and even those folks should consider a Tango for when they go traveling and don’t want to lug a big electric massager with them). This sucker is really fucking strong and impressively low-pitched, so I feel it deep inside my vulva, not just on the surface of my clit.

My Tango is a pretty shade of powder blue. We-Vibe takes risks with their colour schemes, stocking “traditional” sex toy hues like pink along with less traditional ones like teal, red, and white. The word “Tango” is subtly embossed at the bottom of the toy. Though this vibe is made of hard plastic, not usually my favorite material for sex toys, it feels very well-made and high-quality.

The Tango and the other We-Vibe clit toys, Salsa and Touch, all have the same motor but each offer different options in terms of shape. When choosing which one you want, it’s a good idea to look at your current favorite clit toys and figure out which you prefer: a traditional rocket-like bullet shape (Salsa), a flat lipstick-like tip (Tango), or a pointed tip and/or scoop shape (Touch). I decided to go for the Tango because my clit really digs the flat tip of my Lelo Mia but has found the Mia too weak sometimes. The Tango solves that problem easily and is exactly what I wanted.

In addition to four steady speeds that range in power from “kinda strong” to “practically Hitachi strong,” the Tango has four vibration patterns. Two of them, the rhythmic “cha-cha” and annoying pulse, do little to nothing for me. But the other two are pretty cool. The “wave” pattern goes up and down gradually and smoothly in a roller coaster-like way, making me feel like I’m almost going to come and then backing off again like a devilish lover. The “tease” pattern is made up of several long pulses followed by a series of shorter ones, and I find it maddening in the best possible way.

As I mentioned, the Tango is waterproof (it charges magnetically, so you don’t have to worry about any water getting into a charging port), and wonderfully, water doesn’t weaken its vibrations. Sadly, pressure does. I find that, as with my Eroscillator, I get the best mileage out of Tango’s power if I hold it lightly on my clit. Pressure-lovers will find this to be a dealbreaker but I think it feels just as good.

Remember when I said the Tango is far superior to the Lelo Mia? It is, except for one thing: Mia can be locked for travel. I would love to be able to keep the Tango in my bag at all times in case of a sudden arousal emergency, but I’d be too paranoid that it would turn on accidentally, especially since turning it on is as easy as pressing its button once.

Speaking of the button… Whyyyy is there only one?! I realize they’ve done that to preserve space and make the toy as uncluttered as possible, but it’s obnoxious sometimes. I don’t always want to have to cycle through all the patterns to get back to my preferred steady speed.

One final issue: my Tango has a small white bump on its tip. I know this isn’t a fluke because I’ve seen a few other reviews mention the same defect. I use the flat part of the Tango on my clit, not the pointed tip, so I have yet to hurt myself on the bump, but this is something We-Vibe should work to improve in future batches.

Do you hate most small clit vibes because they’re not strong enough? Do you wish there was a decently powerful alternative to those stupid watch-battery bullet vibes that you can stick in the base of your strap-on dildos? Do you want a toy that will get you off in the bath or on vacation? Do you need your vibrators to be quiet and discreet? If you answered yes to any of those questions, get the Tango or its sister, the Salsa. Your clit deserves some rumbly lovin’.

Review: Fun Factory Boosty

Kate Sloan

When I showed my boyfriend a photo of Fun Factory’s latest butt plug, the Boosty, he audibly shuddered. “That looks so uncomfortable!” he said. Meanwhile, I was plotting ways to get my hands on one ASAP.

Now that I’ve got one, I’m not disappointed. It might be the cutest-looking toy in my collection. It looks like ice cream, or an abstract snowman for your butt, or something. It’s a lovely shade of teal, and you can also get it in black, but why would you?

The Boosty is made of 100% silicone. It’s pretty squishy and forgiving. This, coupled with its barely-tapered tip, sometimes makes it tricky to insert. I’ve found it helpful to lube up the inside of my ass as well as the plug itself (water-based only, please!), to warm up with a smaller tapered plug first, and to go slow. Of course, that’s good advice for any plug, but the Boosty’s shape makes it more challenging to insert so it’s wise to know what you’re doing. For this reason, I wouldn’t recommend this toy to anal beginners.

It’s a great size for an intermediate plug. It measures 1 ½" in diameter at its widest point, which normally is my upper limit for anal toys, but this doesn’t feel like a stretch because the plug’s size increases gradually. If I can get the smallest bulb (about 1 ¼") to slip inside, I know that the rest will follow, because it’s a well-designed and anatomically conscious toy.

As with any slanted or curved plug, some people will prefer to wear it facing forward and some will like it better backward. The rectum naturally curves toward the back of the body, so that feels more natural and comfortable for long-term wear, but I find I don’t get any G-spot stimulation unless the plug is facing forward.

This is a plug I can happily wear for hours at a time, if I take care to re-lube every half hour. Its shape and size feel perfectly filling in my ass, and its slender but sturdy base nestles neatly between my cheeks. I don’t experience any pain or discomfort while sitting with the Boosty in, unless I shift positions abruptly and quickly. And I never, ever feel like it’s slipping out, probably because the body of the plug is so much bigger than the neck.

It’s not a flawless toy, though. There’s a seam that runs all the way around it, marring its beauty and smooth texture. I’m not particularly seam-sensitive and can’t feel this one during use, but it bugs me that a toy company would subject customers’ sensitive tissues to sharp seams. Surely there’s a better way?

The other problem with the Boosty is that it retains ass smell more than any other toy I own. I don’t know why this is, since most of my anal toys are made of pure silicone which should theoretically have all the same properties. A good scrub with hot water and soap after use doesn’t get the smell out; boiling it helps a bit, but not much. This isn’t a big deal, since I don’t spend a lot of time sniffing my sex toys, but it’s still an issue I wish this toy didn’t have.

For people who already know that they like butt plugs and can handle one of this size, the Boosty is a fantastic option. It’s whimsical, satisfying, and comfortable. This is right up there with my butt’s other love, the Pure Plug. I’m looking forward to trying out more Fun Factory anal toys in the future!

Sharing the Sexy #1

Kate Sloan

I’m going to start doing a round-up of links to articles, threads, photos, etc. that are relevant to the interests of this blog. It will be sporadic and periodic, but hopefully you’ll still enjoy it! Here’s what I’m diggin’ on this week:

• This guy on Sexxit was all in a tizzy because his potential girlfriend masturbates every other day (GASP! The horror!). We set him straight.

• Also on Sexxit: would you date a pre-op trans* person of your preferred gender? The answers are largely offensive and ignorant (as you can generally expect when a mostly cis group has a discussion about trans issues), but there are a few good ones. I liked Afro_Samurai’s comment: “Really not certain how I would feel in terms of physical attractiveness. I’m certain I would be paranoid about saying something insensitive, screwing up with gendered language or something.”

• Misty writes about trans-friendly and genderqueer-friendly parenting. “What your (our!) job is, as a parent, is to give him the strength and confidence to be himself and to face those who will question him and give him crap because he doesn’t conform to their ideas of who he should be. Giving him yourself as support and the tools of confidence is what will ‘protect’ him in the long run.”

• Rosie describes her experience at a Body Pride workshop. I was at the same workshop, and will be putting up my article about it just as soon as I get my hands on the naked photos that were taken of me there!

• The SexIs Social writing contest applicants are being put to a vote. I would really appreciate if you could vote for one of my articles, whichever one you like best – I wrote Menstrual Sex: It’s Not Just For Vampires, The 5 Hallmarks of Feminist Porn, and Why You Should Buy Your Mom a Sex Toy. Thanks, lovelies!

• My new article came out on Sex Toys Canada: How to Improve Your Genital Flavour. It’s a rundown on dietary adjustments and tasty products you can use to sweeten yourself up, if you’re into that. I also wrote an article about the anterior fornix (or A-spot) for SexIs.

• This period-tracking app looks perfect! (I use MonthlyInfo.com – do you use a period tracker?)

• I showed my boyfriend this foreskin-fingering technique and asked him if he’d ever tried it. He has a very very sensitive penis, so this was his answer: “AAAAAH WAAAAAT NOOOOO!”

Have a good weekend, y’all! I’ll see you Monday for more chattin’ about porn, sex toys, and all that other good stuff.

She Died and Left Me Her Vibrator

Kate Sloan

A few weeks ago, my great-aunt passed away. This blog isn’t the right space to talk about death and mourning, so I won’t get into all that, but it was a sad time.

While we sat around at the hospital, letting it sink in, my aunt (who knows I review sex toys) said to me, “When we were clearing out her apartment, we found a vibrator from the 1960s. You should have it for your collection.” I laughed, sort of thinking she was joking, but sure enough, a few days later, she dropped by with said vibrator in a plastic bag.

I was immediately struck by how much it resembles my Wahl. In fact, I initially thought it was an older model of the Wahl, until I saw the name branded on the side, “The Body Machine.” It was manufactured by a Canadian company called Charlescraft, whose website features autoplay music (ugh) and various appliances and contraptions, but no massagers. I guess they stopped making them around the time that people realized they could get real sex toys and stop repurposing their innocent muscle massagers.

While I had no intention of using the Body Machine (sorry, can’t get onboard with using my deceased relative’s instrument of lust on my genitals), I wanted to test how its power compared to the Wahl. I expected it to be stronger, but actually, the Wahl easily wins out. The Body Machine’s low speed is akin to the mid-range on a contemporary rechargeable vibe, and its high speed is barely any higher. I guess my great-aunt was less choosy about her sex toys than I am (although, I guess if it were the ‘60s, you’d have to be).

So what’s the point of all this? I guess it just served as a reminder for me that practically everyone is sexual, even the folks you wouldn’t think of in that way. With few exceptions, we all want to get our rocks off and have fun doing it. I’m just glad I live in a time and place where I can buy products specifically designed to give me orgasms, rather than relying on a home appliance.

Review: Happy Valley Fuze Harmony

Kate Sloan

The Harmony, sent to me by the lovely folks at SheVibe, is from Happy Valley’s new-ish Fuze line. You may remember that I gave away some Fuze butt plugs a few months ago; well, this is my first time trying a toy from this range, and I… well, I feel pretty ambivalent about it.

The Fuze toys all come in black 100% silicone. It’s a very dark, glossy, sexy black, but it shows every single piece of lint it collects (many). The silicone is firmer than Tantus’ blend but squishier than Lelo’s blend. It’s this firmness that led to me having a hellish experience with another Happy Valley product, the Joe Rock butt plug – but vaginally, it works better. I’ve learned that my G-spot responds more favorably to harder toys.

Speaking of my G-spot… The Harmony is supposed to target it, and sadly, it doesn’t really. The shaft’s curve is so minimal that it brushes right past my G-spot without taking the time to stimulate it. The very slight ripples on the top side of the dildo feel nice going in and out of my vag, but this is certainly no Acute or Tsunami – it does little or nothing to my G-spot.

Both the Harmony and its thicker counterpart the Wilde have a unique feature I’ve never seen anywhere else: a harness-friendly base that has ridges on the bottom. It’s meant to stimulate the clit of the person wearing the dildo in their harness, and I applaud Happy Valley for being innovative and taking risks in this arena. Do the ridges do anything for me when I rub them on my vulva? Not really. Not much more than a regular flat base does, even with lube. But I’m not an experienced harness user at all. I know plenty of people who would probably appreciate this feature a lot. (And it helps that there’s a hole for a bullet vibe at the base.)

With an insertable length of about 5 ½” and a girth of 1 ¼”, the Harmony is a good size for a warm-up dildo. And that’s primarily what I use it for: warm-up. It satisfies my vag easily for the first few minutes of jerking off, while my G-spot is starting up and I’m easing into penetration – but as soon as I start to get really aroused, I need something better. Try as I might, I can’t have blended orgasms with the Harmony, because what it does to my vagina is more like “passing through” than “rubbing and stroking.” It makes me wonder if I might prefer the Wilde after all, even though it’s larger than the toys I usually use, because the girth would please my love-starved G-spot better. Who knows?

I can recommend the Harmony to someone who wants a smallish dildo, ideally for harness use. I have a feeling I’d like it a lot more if it were strapped onto someone I love, but on its own, it just doesn’t satisfy.

Thanks very much, SheVibe!