Review: Tantus Acute

Kate Sloan

The Tantus Acute is my ninth Tantus toy. You think I’d be used to the company’s excellence by now. You’d think some of the charm would have worn off. But nope – my love for their toys has persevered. (Hence the zillions of Tantus reviews that have been popping up on my blog lately, and will continue to do so for a little longer!)

I saved up reward points to buy my Acute, because I’m worried it might be discontinued. It’s currently hanging out in the closeout section on Tantus’ website, often a sign of impending discontinuation. I haven’t heard anything to confirm this, but I was concerned, so I snapped one up, and I’m glad I did.

The Acute is the smallest silicone dildo I own. It has an insertable length of 5" and a diameter of 1 ¼" at its widest point. These measurements might make you think that this is a toy for beginners, and true, it would work just fine for someone with little penetration experience under their belt. But the beauty of the Acute is that it’s not just for beginners. Unless your vagina flat-out needs to be filled up in order to be satisfied, you might find the Acute surprisingly pleasing. I certainly did.

As its name suggests, the Acute boasts an acute angle. Because it’s top-heavy and leans heavily to one side, it can’t stand up by itself. I’ve been propping it up against a lube bottle and affectionately calling it “little baby,” like a child who hasn’t learned to walk yet.

But what that angle lacks in balance, it more than makes up for in G-spotting ability. The Acute is a G-spot dildo, through and through. Its pronounced head finds my spot effortlessly and rubs it with every thrust, creating that need-to-pee sensation almost immediately, while the gentle ripples along its underside massage my vaginal wall and opening. This is a dildo that knows what it wants to do, and does it very well.

Sometimes, the Acute doesn’t feel completely fulfilling, as you’d expect from a toy of its size. When that happens, I just switch to a bigger one. It makes for a great warm-up dildo. Many people love it for anal, too, since the same curve that enables it to reach the female G-spot also brings it into direct contact with the male prostate. And of course, it’s harness-compatible, so peg away, ladies.

The Tantus Acute isn’t a glamorous dildo, it doesn’t rock my world, it hasn’t changed my life. But it’s a reliable G-spotting toy that provides just enough girth for those days when my vagina needs a rest but still wants to be stimulated. It’s definitely going to be a staple of my collection for a long time to come.

I Have Small Boob Privilege

Kate Sloan

Today I was sitting around in the basement of the place where I volunteer, and some of the folks there were having a conversation about the plight of having big breasts. While internally rehashing my own insecurities about having small-ish boobs (technically 32D when measured properly, though they are more like the conventional perception of B cups), I listened to these women lamenting their sore backs, their limited clothing options. One of them said, “I wish I was one of those women who can just get up and go to work without putting on a bra,” and I realized – I am one of those women.

I can get away with not wearing a bra, and I almost always do. I never experience back pain from the weight of my breasts. I can run up and down stairs braless without incident (though I prefer to hold them against my chest when I do this). I can have cleavage when I want to, and can make it disappear when I want to. I know how to make myself look like a busty vixen or a practically flat-chested teenager, just by changing my clothing and undergarments.

I have to acknowledge to myself that this is a huge privilege I’ve been blessed with. My curvaceous lower body has often made me ache for bigger boobs, to balance me out and make me into a classic hourglass. I’ve never really considered the possibility that being smaller on top is more versatile and spares me from various possible health problems.

I guess my point is, there ain’t no shame in boobs, no matter what size they are. Being small and being big both have their privileges and their drawbacks, and if we understand that, maybe we’ll stop being jealous of other women for they way their racks stack up.

Review: Tantus Tsunami

Kate Sloan

Yep, there’s been a lot of Tantus around here recently! And there’s still more to come. What can I say? I’m a lucky, lucky girl.

I count myself as especially lucky because one of the Tantus items I was sent this month is the Tsunami – and it is about as perfect as a dildo can get. Remember when I said I loved the Echo? Yeah, this is way better.

The Tsunami is designed to look like a wave, as its name suggests. It has a curvy, rounded tip, followed by three large, jutting ridges. The bottommost ridge doesn’t quite fit inside me – the Tsunami is 6 ¾" insertable, and therefore longer than my vagina – but the other two are delicious. They need a fair bit of lube before they start to feel pleasurable rather than pointy, but it’s worth it.

There are also three small ridges on the back side of the dildo, toward the bottom. I feel ambivalently about stimulation on the back wall of my vagina, but if you’re into that, you’ll appreciate this feature.

The Tsunami is made of Tantus’ classic silicone – squishy and bendable, but firm; beautifully colorful; 100% boilable and bleachable. As usual, Tantus leaves nothing to be desired in terms of material quality. And the base is flat and flared, so you can wear the Tsunami in a harness if you want to fuck your lover with a badass tidal wave.

So why do I love the Tsunami so much? I’m going to try to refrain from saying unhelpful things like “it just feels really fucking good,” and instead, try to explain why it feels so good. For one thing, its ridges are marvelous at hitting my G-spot. They stroke past it every time, with little effort on my end, and manage to be satisfying without being overly intense like some other toys can be.

But truly, the real reason I’m in love with the Tsunami is its tip. The top of the wave is smooth and rounded, and acts like a slender penis or a thick finger. And it rubs the fuck out of my A-spot.

A-spot stimulation is something I don’t hear a lot about in the sex toy reviewing world, or in the world in general. I think this is owed to the fact that many people don’t know what the A-spot is. Maybe they have some semblance of an understanding that it feels good when they thrust a dildo really deeply and hit a spot somewhere near their cervix, but they don’t know it’s an actual erogenous zone with a name and a specific location.

I’m very aware of my A-spot, or “deep spot,” because it’s the source of most of my melty, tingly, “oh my god don’t stop” feelings when my boyfriend is fucking me. I’m also hyper-aware of it because, in order to stimulate it, I have to be very careful that I don’t bump my cervix. Cervical contact is, for me, uncomfortable at best, and agonizing at worst. So it’s bloody annoying that one of my favorite pleasure zones is located right next to my cervix.

But back to the Tsunami… Its tip has the perfect shape, size, squishiness, and curve to hit my A-spot without ever giving my cervix any grief. And that’s the main reason that the Tsunami will remain in the top drawer of my sex toy storage system, along with other all-time favorites like the Fling and the Amethyst. When I’m craving deep, satisfying, intuitive A-spot stimulation (with some kickass G-spot rubbing to boot), I’ll reach for the Tsunami.

Now, before I demand that every one of my readers buy one of these dildos, let’s just make sure you know what you’re getting into… This toy is 1 ¾" at its widest point. It’s squishy, so I can fit it inside me even though I’m on the smaller side, but it needs plenty of lube. If you’re tiny, you’ll want to skip this one (or just use the upper half, which, frankly, robs you of the toy’s greatest advantage). Likewise, if you don’t like texture, this is definitely not the dildo for you. And if you’re a size queen in search of something to stretch you and fill you up, the Tsunami won’t do it.

But if you like ridges on your G-spot, and firm but sweet A-spot stimulation, and both of those things in tandem… well, you need the Tsunami, pronto.

Thanks so much, PinkCherry.ca, for this stunning piece of silicone!

My Sex Toy Drawers

Kate Sloan

Today I’m going to take a leaf out of Epiphora’s book and show you how I store my sex toys. This is something I’m always curious about with other people, so I thought I’d share some photos for those of you who obsess over toy storage as much as I do!

When I first started reviewing sex toys, I cleaned out this old stack of plastic drawers that had been holding miscellaneous papers and objects in my bedroom for years. I had previously been keeping my sex toys in a vintage hatbox, but my collection was already starting to outgrow that method, so I knew it was time for an upgrade.

On top of the drawers, I keep my external hard drives (there’s no other place for them to go, so whatevs!), a bottle of antibacterial toy cleaner, and a washcloth for wiping off the cleaner once it’s done its job. I also usually keep newer toys on top of the drawers as a reminder to myself that I need to use them so I can review them.

The top drawer holds all my frequently-used favorites, with the exception of the Eroscillator which I keep plugged in at my bedside. This drawer contains the Fling, Pure Wand, Tsunami (review coming on Friday!), Lelo Mona, Turbo Glider, and Amethyst. I’ve also stuffed in some Tantus stickers that I don’t know what to do with, and my original Eroscillator attachments, which I never use now that I have the fingertip attachment.

The second drawer holds anal toys like the Ripple and Joe Rock, vaginal exercisers like the Eclipse balls and Magic Banana, and couples’ toys like the Tiani and FixSation. I’ve also filled this drawer with toy wipes, small bottles and packets of lube, unneeded bullet vibes, flavored condoms, and latex gloves. This is basically a drawer of miscellany. As a side note, I keep all the silicone toys wrapped in plastic bags so that they don’t touch each other and have chemical reactions.

My third drawer is deeper than the others, so it can fit more stuff. I use it to hold all the dildos I use sometimes but not too often, like the Ella, Adam, and Echo. Once again, I keep the silicone toys wrapped in plastic bags (which are kept in this drawer for easy access), and I try to wrap all the glass toys in some kind of padded covering, like a scarf or some packing materials.

The bottom drawer doesn’t get used very often. Currently it’s where I keep extra condoms, porn DVDs, erotica books, and random instructional booklets that came with some of my toys.

As for the toys I own that I rarely or never use anymore, those get stashed in my hatbox, where I can remove them to show them off to friends but don’t actually have to look at them or deal with them. I keep condoms in a little easy-access basket right next to my bed, and lube just adjacent to that.

How do you store your sex toys? What would be the ideal storage system for your toy collection?

Porn Review: Live Sex Show

Kate Sloan

Live Sex Show is a film by Courtney Trouble, the mastermind behind QueerPorn.TV, among other filthy hot projects. It was shot at a Masturbate-a-Thon in front of an audience of 200 people, so it’s quite different from any other porn I’ve seen. There is crowd interaction, there is an almost theatrical dynamic sometimes, but mostly, there’s just a lot of really hot fucking.

The film opens with Kimberlee Cline performing a sensual striptease. Once her pussy’s exposed, she reclines on the big, colorful sofa that all the performers will fuck on, and gives herself a cute little clitoral orgasm with her fingers. The crowd cheers; Kimberlee giggles. It’s a good scene but it’s nothing mindblowing.

Next up is a fairly traditional girl/boy scene starring Jolene Parton and Peter Devries. They make out, exchange oral sex, and then fuck romantically in various positions. Jolene’s got a gorgeous, voluptuous body, and Peter makes noise (yay, man-moans!) while his handsome uncut cock gets sucked, but this is otherwise an unremarkable scene.

The next scene is where things start to pick up a bit. It features BBW hottie April Flores and her real-life lover, who goes by The Matador. April looks foxy in a velvet jumpsuit and pink fishnets, masturbating on the floor until her man shows up and puts his dick in her mouth.

The Matador wears a mask over his face for most of the scene. At first I thought it was to maintain his anonymity, but then I saw that he takes it off midway through the session to go down on April, so I guess privacy isn’t that important to him after all? I’m not sure what’s up with this.

Weirdness aside, it’s a good scene, made up of equal parts oral, fucking, and groping. April is her usual enthusiastic and sweet-faced self, and the pair are obviously very attracted to each other. One particularly lovely moment: the Matador rips April’s fishnets open to get a better grip on her juicy ass. Nice touch. The only major problem with this scene is that it’s not very well lit, so there are plenty of moments where I feel like I can’t see the best part of what’s going on.

Next comes the kind of genderfuckery that I’ve learned to expect from QueerPorn. Tina Horn, who I’ve written about before, acts as sub to her real-life partner (I think?), Roger Wood. In researching Roger to check on pronouns for this review, I found out that he identifies not as FTM but as “F to James Brown,” but that his porn persona is decidedly male.

I find Roger very attractive, and he certainly has a great connection with Tina, but I don’t think he makes a very convincing on-screen dom. His spanking, roughness, and domination just don’t seem wholly impassioned to me for most of the scene.

The turnaround comes when Tina and Roger take a bow, thinking their time is up. Someone tells them from off-camera that they’ve got more time if they want to continue, so they do, dropping all pretences and fabricated characters. They just fuck, and it comes off as way more authentic and pleasurable than the rest of the scene up til then.

The next scene is the crowning glory of this film, because it features two huge stars of the porno galaxy: Nina Hartley and Jiz Lee. (Don’t get confused when I use “they/them” pronouns in this part of the review; those are the ones Jiz prefers for themself.)

My boyfriend doesn’t think it’s sexy at all how Nina starts out this scene with an anatomical explanation of what she’s doing to Jiz, and I have to agree – but it is kind of endearing how Nina looks for opportunities to educate people on sex. The pair talk about their preferences, desires, and what’s off-limits (for example, Nina abhors being bitten), having never met before this performance.

This scene is fantastic because both of the performers clearly admire each other and are excited about fucking each other (and indeed, Nina liked the experience so much that she ended up working for Crash Pad Series solely for the opportunity to have sex with Jiz again). Nina fists Jiz to an orgasm with the help of a Hitachi. Nina’s a pro dirty-talker, telling Jiz that their pussy is “tight and slick and strong” while holding their throat and pumping her fist in and out like the expert she is. It’s astonishing to see two seasoned professionals clearly delighting in one another, not blasé or routine in the least.

Then they switch roles and do the exact same thing the other way: fast finger-fucking and a helpful Hitachi. When Nina finally orgasms, she grabs Jiz in a fierce kiss of gratitude and the audience goes wild.

The last scene of the film is an impromptu gangbang. Nina crows, “Let’s everybody get on Courtney!” and all the female-bodied performers proceed to pile onto the filmmaker, Courtney Trouble. Tina Horn straddles Courtney’s mouth wearing a strap-on, April blindfolds her and starts playing with one of her nipples, Roger handles the other breast, Nina puts her magic hand to work in Courtney’s pussy, and Jiz takes care of the clit stimulation. What results is an epic, if slightly repetitious scene, the likes of which I’ve never seen anywhere before.

Live Sex Show has its fair share of problems – it’s sometimes poorly lit, there are moments that come off as awkward and faked, and the first few scenes are unimpressive. But I still think it’s worth the price of admission, by far. The bodies are real, the orgasms are real, the attractions are real, and the second half of this film is some of the best on-screen sex I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching.