Fun Factory’s Having a MASSIVE Sale! Here’s What I Recommend…

Kate Sloan

On August 15th – that’s this coming Monday – legendary German sex toy brand Fun Factory is having a HUGE sale to celebrate their birthday: 40% off any toy!!

They are truly one of the best sex toy brands on the market, and have been for the entire time I’ve been in this industry, so this is very exciting. I thought I’d put together a guide to my favorite Fun Factory items so you can decide what you want to snap up in the sale on Monday! (Set yourself a calendar alert if need be…)

 

All images in this post courtesy of Fun Factory

A brilliantly-designed beginner-friendly butt plug: Fun Factory Bootie

Price before the sale: $34.99 (small size), $39.99 (medium size), $44.99 (large size)
Price during the sale: $20.99 (small size), $23.99 (medium size), $26.99 (large size)

The Bootie is one of the plugs I often recommend for people who are curious about anal play but are also intimidated by it. That’s an understandable way to feel – butt stuff can be challenging and uncomfortable, and comes with a whole host of psychological and sociocultural taboos to work through – so I’m glad Fun Factory makes this approachable little plug.

The curved base is super comfy, to the point that you could wear this plug while out and about and you’d be fine (although you might need to re-lube in a public bathroom at some point).

The smallest size maxes out at 1.06″ in diameter – that’s pretty dang small. If you find that you like the prostate-targeting curve of this plug, you can always upgrade to one of the two larger sizes sometime down the road. Hell, maybe you’ll even want to own all three someday – different butt plugs for different moods!

 

A gay-as-heck dildo: Fun Factory Rainbow Amor (read my review here) (also one time I did a makeup tutorial inspired by this dildo)

Price before the sale: $44.99
Price during the sale: $26.99

I mean, what can I say? It’s a rainbow dildo. Just looking at it fills my heart with glee.

This queer-looking silicone cutie isn’t available year-round, so if you love the look of it, I’d suggest snapping one up tout suite. It’s kind of an unusual dildo in terms of shape and size: it’s on the shorter side, with just 4.72″ of insertable length, but has a medium girth of 1.46″. I like that Fun Factory offers this smaller dildo, in contrast to their chonky Big Boss; not everyone is a size queen/king/monarch!

The gentle curve, subtle “coronal ridge” and suction-cup base of this dildo all make it useful for hitting the G-spot or prostate, whether you’re alone or with a partner. And despite the fact that strap-on harnesses usually shorten a dildo’s useable length by about an inch, this one’s base is quite slim, so you can use it for strap-on play even despite its short stature. Get your gay on, y’all.

 

A magnificent vibrator for penises: Fun Factory Manta (read my spouse’s review here)

Price before the sale: $139.99
Price during the sale: $83.99

I’m thrilled that the category of penis vibrators – and penis toys in general – has expanded so much in recent years, spearheaded in large part by Fun Factory themselves.

The Manta is one of my absolute favorites to use on my partner, or to watch them use during FaceTime calls (#LongDistanceLyfe). It has two silicone “wings” that wrap around the shaft of your dick (pretty much regardless of what size it is!), creating a surround-sound sensation. You can stroke the toy up and down or just hold it in one spot – whatever feels best to you.

Notably, this toy works brilliantly for partnered play as well as solo sex. I think some of my partner’s most intense orgasms have happened while my mouth was on the head of their dick and this toy was working the lower shaft. Truly a genius product that I am constantly raving about to my penis-possessing friends.

 

A super-satisfying self-thrusting sex toy: Fun Factory Stronic Real (read my review here)

Price before the sale: $169.99
Price during the sale: $101.99

Look, I’m lazy. I also have hand strength issues and chronic fatigue due to fibromyalgia. All of this adds up to me sometimes not being able to thrust dildos as fast, hard, or consistently as I’d prefer.

But that’s when I reach for a self-thrusting toy like the Stronic Real. Now, let’s be clear: many toys that claim to “thrust,” including this one, are really doing something more akin to jiggling back and forth a tiny amount. But, in practice, this can feel like thrusting –very targeted and precise thrusting. If you position one of these toys so that it’s making consistent contact with your G-spot or A-spot, it’ll keep ploughing into that spot over and over again, in a way that (for me at least) can enable intense orgasms and, frequently, squirting.

You do have to anchor the base of the toy against something, like a pillow placed between your legs, to keep it from wiggling its way out of you. But I don’t mind doing that in exchange for the ease and reliability of these toys. All of the Stronic products I’ve tried are great, but I particularly like the Real because it gets in deep, hitting my A-spot again and again in a way I previously thought only a partner’s deft fingers could accomplish.

 

An ultra-versatile finger vibrator: Fun Factory Be-One (read my review here)

Price before the sale: $69.99
Price during the sale: $41.99

A common refrain amongst couples shopping for their first sex toy together is that they want something unobtrusive – something that melds seamlessly into sex so that it feels almost like part of their bodies, rather than being a mechanical interloper into their intimate lives. Something like the Be-One is ideal for this: it’s easy to hold, easy to maneuver, and easy to use – even when you’re, uh, a little distracted.

I’ve also recommended the Be-One before as a good choice for folks who, like me, struggle with hand pain or hand strength issues. Holding it between your fingers is a cinch; I can manage it even on days when I can barely hold my phone comfortably.

The motor in this toy isn’t as rumbly or powerful as I generally expect from Fun Factory, but I think it’ll work fine for more sensitive users. It’s also a fun addition to a handjob or fingering.

 

A phenomenal prostate massager: Fun Factory Duke

Price before the sale: $99.99
Price during the sale: $59.99

I haven’t personally tried this whimsically-shaped anal vibrator, but fellow GQ writer Zachary Zane says it “leads to incredibly powerful orgasms,” and I believe it.

The Duke delves deeper into your butt than many other plugs (at least, many of the ones available from mainstream, non-fetish and non-specialty sex toy companies), and also rumbles against your prostate and perineum simultaneously. Gotta love a multitasker!

Fun Factory recommends that you “wear it during partner sex for toe-curling sensation,” which kinda makes me wish I had a prostate.

 

A wonderfully weird dildo: Fun Factory Bouncer (read my review here)

Price before the sale: $99.99
Price during the sale: $59.99

You know how some Kegel balls have little weights inside them that roll around whenever you move? Well, Fun Factory made a dildo that has that same feature. Every time you thrust it in or out, the weighted balls inside it bounce around. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about this, but it’s wild how it actually makes each thrust feel more impactful and just adds another layer of sensation to the familiar feeling of being fucked with a dildo.

I also love the gently rippled texture of this toy, and the fact that it’s harness-compatible so a partner can strap it on and then fuck me with their bouncy dick. All in all, this toy is a delight.

 

What are your fave Fun Factory products?

 

This post was sponsored, but I really do love Fun Factory (as years’ worth of reviews have made very clear, lol). As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Online Dating Tips for Demisexuals

Kate Sloan
My actual Tinder profile

I’m demisexual, meaning that I don’t have the capacity to feel sexually attracted to someone until I have some kind of emotional connection with them and have a good sense of who they are as a person.

Mostly I’m fine with being this way – my demisexuality fits nicely into my introverted lifestyle – but sometimes I wish I were capable of developing sexual attractions quicker, especially since that seems to be very much the norm on dating sites/apps. It can be hard to navigate these fast-paced online hubs of sex ‘n’ romance when you’re slow-moving in these realms. Sometimes it’s difficult enough to make a person want to give up altogether.

I’ve found a few strategies that help me in this regard, though. Here are some online dating tips for demisexuals. As per usual, take ’em with a grain of salt, because we’re all different – but I hope they help you, if indeed you need/want help with this issue.

 

1. Choose the right site/app to begin with

It’s easy to get intimidated when you look through a list of dating sites or apps and don’t even know where to start. But many apps and sites designed to facilitate human connection are geared toward a certain type of human connection – and likewise, there are some apps and sites that don’t explicitly try to be hookup-focused, or queer-focused, or kink-focused, or whatever, but may attract certain demographics anyway for various reasons.

In my experience, for instance, Tinder is not always the best choice for someone who wants a long-term relationship, or a relationship where sex is of minimal or no importance. On the flipside, I wouldn’t typically recommend Match.com for someone who just wanted a hookup. Do some research (including “field research” if need be) to get a sense of which sites and apps are most aligned with what you’re looking for, and use those.

Some of these services are more demisexual-friendly than others. I like the text-forward interface of Lex, for example, because it allows me to get to know someone’s communication style and a little bit about how their brain works, before seeing what they even look like. OkCupid can also be good for demisexuals because its filtering tools and compatibility questions are powerful and can help you narrow down your dating pool to people you’re mostly aligned with.

 

2. State your hopes and expectations in your profile

I often include a line in my online dating bios that’s something like “More into fun dates than hookups” and “I like to take things slow and get to know people.” I think a statement like this can do a lot of heavy lifting in terms of attracting people who have similar desires and repelling people who don’t.

I’ve also seen people say they were looking for “friends, and maybe more eventually,” which I think can be a good approach for demisexuals. If you do become friends with someone you met on a dating site/app, then at least you’ll still have a friend even if an attraction doesn’t end up developing between you.

An important thing to keep in mind here is that there’s absolutely no need to shame people who are more interested in casual sex than you are. We all have different needs, wants, and preferences. Yours isn’t more ethical, good or “respectable” just because you like to get to know people before potentially boning them.

 

3. Ask questions whose answers you might find hot

I know myself well enough, at this point in my dating life, to know that I find it attractive when people are highly enthusiastic about a particular passion of theirs, whether that be movies, music, cocktails, video games, or just about anything else. So I’ll often ask people about their passions, or about activities in their life that light them up, because the answers to these questions can awaken a spark of attraction to me that is sometimes later fanned into a proper flame as I get to know them better.

Consider what questions you could ask to take the fastest (or funnest) possible route to info that might stir your interest, and ask those more often when you’re chatting with potential dates online. In doing this, you’re helping them out and helping yourself have a better time.

 

4. Consider limiting initial dates to the daytime

I have a hard time saying no to sex when I have a strong sense that the person I’m on a date with is expecting or hoping for sex to happen. Most of the people I’ve been on dates with have been kind, considerate, and non-pressure-y, so I’m aware that this is a problem that exists largely in my own head and that it’s okay to have boundaries. But, for this reason, I often find it easiest to go on first dates (or second or third dates) in the daytime, because there tends to be less of an expectation that sex will happen at the end of the date.

Afternoon coffee dates, weekend brunch dates, and walking-through-a-park dates can all be good for this. If I want to be extra sure that sex won’t be expected, I might let the person know about what I’ll be doing afterward, e.g. that I have to get back to work or that I have plans with a friend.

It’s not that I couldn’t have consensual, enjoyable sex if I went home with someone on a first date. It’s definitely happened. But for me, sex on a first date is almost always sex without sexual attraction, because I usually simply haven’t had enough time to develop an attraction at that point. And personally, I’d rather wait until I really want to have sex with someone before having it.

 

5. Remember, above all, that your boundaries are valid

It’s okay to want to wait a while to have sex. Hell, it’d be okay if you never wanted to have sex. It might mean that you’re not compatible with some of the people you go on dates with, but that’d be true no matter what your deal was. Sometimes people just aren’t compatible with each other, and that’s okay. Either one or both of them can compromise, if they’re comfortable doing so, or they can go their separate ways.

An important caveat there is that you never have to compromise if you don’t want to have sex. “No” is a complete sentence, as the saying goes. It can trigger a lot of shame and self-doubt when someone pressures you into moving faster than you want to, especially if they start making claims like “Other people I’ve dated haven’t wanted to wait this long to have sex” or “The way you feel about sex isn’t normal.” But please try to remember, if you can, that anyone worth dating (or fucking!) will respect your boundaries.

Sure, they might end up saying, “You know what? This isn’t working for me, so I think we should stop seeing each other.” That’s a normal part of the dating process, for anyone. But never forget that you are well within your rights to say no, or even to get up and leave. You don’t owe anyone sex. You don’t even owe anyone an explanation for why you don’t feel like having sex. And the more you can internalize that knowledge, and the more you practice setting and holding your boundaries, the more delicious it’ll feel when an attraction finally develops and you find yourself wanting to have sex with a particular person.

A true “yes” can’t exist in an environment where a “no” is shamed, dismissed or belittled. I hope that you find your true “yes,” because it feels so damn good.

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

4 Ways to Tell Your Partner About Your Kink

Kate Sloan

I’ve answered hundreds, if not thousands, of questions about kink in my career as a sex writer and educator – and one of the most common ones, without a doubt, is: “How do I tell my partner about my kinks?”

It’s an understandable thing to wonder. The seemingly obvious answer is “Just tell them,” but if it were that easy, people wouldn’t be asking the question in the first place. What they really mean when they ask this is: How do I conjure the courage to tell my partner about my kinks, given that I know they might react badly?

My best friend, sex educator Bex Caputo, would say: Don’t make it a big deal. If you tell them about your fetish with the same foreboding tone you’d use to tell them you got cancer, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Humans take a lot of cues from each other socially and psychologically, on both conscious and unconscious levels, and so if you disclose your kink in a way that’s fun and flirty instead of scary or self-flagellating, you’re much likelier to get a good response.

But there are a lot of different ways to do that. Let’s talk about some of them. (And please keep in mind that all of these suggestions are just ways to ease a disclosure and start a conversation – not finish it. You should always do some sort of negotiation before trying a kink that’s new to either of you, to make sure you’re on the same page about basic stuff like what’s going to happen, who’s going to do what, what your safeword[s] or safe-signal[s] will be, and what kind of aftercare you’ll each need.)

 

Fill out a Yes/No/Maybe list. This is a classic kink negotiation tool that’s especially useful at the beginnings of relationships when you don’t know each other’s tastes yet, or in established relationships when you’re in search of a sexual shake-up. Basically it’s a list where you both categorize a bunch of different kinks into 4 categories:

  1. Yes, Into = Yes, I enthusiastically want to try this thing
  2. Yes, Willing = Yes, I would be happy to try this thing if you wanted to try it, though I’m not 100% enthusiastic about it myself
  3. Maybe = I might be willing to try this thing under some circumstances; let’s discuss further
  4. No = I absolutely do not want to try this thing

Once you each complete your list, you can compare notes and see where there’s overlap and where there decidedly isn’t, and then go from there.

There are digital tools that make this process easy, like Old.MojoUpgrade.com, or you could pick up a copy of my book and go through it together, adding each kink to your list as you go.

 

“So I had this dream…” If you’re prepared to tell a little white lie to kick off a kink chat with your partner, you could always just say you had a sexy dream about [insert kink here] and then ask a question like:

  • Doesn’t that sound hot?
  • Have you ever tried that?
  • What do you think about that?
  • Would you ever want to try that?
  • Ever wondered what that would be like?
  • Does that seem like something we’d do?

This gives you a bit of plausible deniability, so that if (god forbid) they get judgey or freak out, you can say, “Well, it was just a dream.” (And then maybe decide whether you want to end the relationship and move on, ’cause… yikes.)

 

Porn, erotica, or live cam shows. If you have the type of relationship where the two of you consume sexual media together – whether as a prelude to sex or just for entertainment purposes – then this can be a good way to guide a conversation toward your particular interests.

You could, for example, suggest that the two of you each curate a playlist of 2-3 porn clips that you’ll watch together, or 1-2 erotica stories you’ll read together, alternating back and forth between theirs and yours. Maybe you set a theme, like “things we want to try,” or maybe you both just pick things you like to jerk off to when you’re alone. This is especially great because, when both partners are committed to the exercise, each of you ends up being bravely vulnerable in a way that makes it easier for the other person to do the same.

Sites featuring live webcam models, like FetishCamSites.com, can also provide a media-based jumping-off point for kink discussions. Maybe seeing a cute camgirl spank herself on-screen with a paddle could get your partner curious about paddles, for instance…

 

Sex shop visit. Now, don’t get me wrong: I would not recommend buying a flogger/enema/Neon Wand/whatever for a partner who has never expressed any interest in owning or using one. It’s presumptuous, financially risky (depending on how pricey the item is and whether its retailer has a good returns policy), and can make your sweetie feel pressured to say yes even if they don’t want to.

But, visiting a sex shop together can prompt some productive conversations about sex and kink. It’s easy to make up an excuse to do this, like needing to pick up some condoms or lube, or just walking past a sex shop and saying, “Hey, wanna check this place out?”

If your fetish is equipment-based – e.g. chastity, whipping, pegging – then you can locate that equipment in the store (you may need to check their stock ahead of time if it’s a specialty piece) and then ask your partner one of the questions I recommended in the “So I had this dream…” suggestion above. If your fetish isn’t related to any particular paraphernalia, you could instead pick up a kink book that you know mentions it (perhaps mine!), flip to that page, and ask the same sorts of questions.

 

Of course, there are more ways to communicate a fetish to a partner than just the ones listed here. What methods have worked best for you? How would you want a partner to tell you about their fetish?

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

“A Song A Week” Challenge: Monthly Recap 7 of 12

Kate Sloan

Song 28/52: “I Should’ve Asked”

Lyrics:

Shirtless and worthless, I wipe off my mouth
And wonder what all of that work was about
I put on my clothes and head for the door
The head’s where your head’s at; you’re ready for more

But I don’t know why I did that
Or how I can give when you never give back
They say that a slut has no self-respect
But when I look back, I have just one regret:

I should’ve asked for what I needed
I should’ve drawn a line in the sand
And who knows if you would have succeeded
With your lips or your tongue or your hand
We can’t rewind time, can’t redo the past
But if I could go back, I know what I’d ask
I should’ve asked for what I needed
But maybe you’d never come back

Why are you trying to see me again?
I was excited, but that was back then
I thought our chemistry fizzled mid-date
You thought the evening went totally great

And I don’t know why I did that
A perfect performance – fake moans and fake laughs
They say that a slut sets the bar way too low
My bar is in hell now, and here’s how I know:

I should’ve asked for what I needed
I should’ve said, “Could I get a little help?”
I could’ve begged and I could’ve pleaded
But I want you to want it yourself
We can’t rewind time, can’t redo the past
But if I could go back, I know what I’d ask
I should’ve asked for what I needed
I’ve gotta get braver and fast

But what if you froze and then wrinkled your nose
And said, “How dare you think you deserve that?!”
What if you balked and were visibly shocked
Or just said, “No, I wouldn’t prefer that”?
Sure, it’ll be scary, and I should be wary
Of pressing how I have been pressed
But if you’re a giver, then you might consider
And maybe you’ll even say yes

You’ll say:
I’m glad you asked for what you needed
I’m glad you drew your line in the sand
And I’m glad that I clearly succeeded
With my mouth and my strap and my hand
You can’t rewind time, can’t go back where you’re from
But thank you for letting me make you come
I’m glad you asked for what you needed
It’s fun when we both have more fun

 

Songwriting diary:

The writing process for this was magical. One day I slathered on some sunscreen, walked down to the beach, staked out a lounge chair and took out my notebook to write some lyrics. I was staring out at the lake for a few minutes, trying to decide what I wanted to write about, my mind totally blank. But then this line seemed to appear in my head fully-formed: “Shirtless and worthless, I wipe off my mouth.” I wrote that down and then started pondering (as I often do when a seemingly random lyrical line comes to me) who would say this line and why. And the answer, it was quite clear to me, was “me, in my early twenties, after one of many unsatisfying Tinder hookups.”

I think those memories were already floating in the periphery of my consciousness that day because 1) my therapy session from the week before had largely been about my issues with sexual assertiveness, and 2) I had recently seen the Pulitzer Prize-winning musical A Strange Loop on Broadway and there’s a song in that where our hero says, after a disappointing and scary hookup with dubious consent, “Why did I do that?/ What did that do for me?/ What a performance/ Where are my boundaries?” I cried a lot when I heard those lines because they resonated so strongly for me.

I wrote the entire lyric of this song at the beach, and made a windswept little recording on my phone where seagulls chirped in the background as I sang the melody I heard in my head for the chorus. Then I packed up, walked home, sat down at my piano and started trying to figure out all the chords I was hearing and nail down the melodies.

The line “Why are you trying to see me again?” was originally followed up with “This always happens with desperate men,” but ultimately I decided that was unnecessarily mean and not really what I was trying to say there. The first and last choruses originally said that my paramour could please me with “your mouth or your toy or your hand,” but that kept landing weird for me so I changed it; it was my spouse who suggested “strap” for that line in the last chorus because of its dual meaning (strap-on/spanking strap).

The last line felt important to get right. I tried a few different options: “I hope that you’re not one-and-done,” “I hope that you don’t think we’re done,” “Next time let’s do it again.” But the option that felt the closest to what I wanted to say was what I went with: “It’s fun when we both have more fun.”

Song 29/52: “Celia”

Lyrics:

Celia says that she’s tired of waiting
For me to come out and let go
I wish we could tell the whole world that we’re dating
I’m not sure I want them to know

Celia says that she knows why I’m nervous
Celia’s fearless and good
Celia’s living with power and purpose
Just like I wish that I could

Every time I think I can do it
Something whispers “Why even try?”
I swear I never mean to put her through it
But if you ever see her cry
I’m the reason why

Celia says that the times are a-changin’
And soon we’ll have rights like the rest
While they’re out rioting, I am arranging
The roses and pens on my desk

Celia says that there’s nothing to live for
If we don’t live life like we like
Celia’s dragging her bag out the back door
Celia’s leaving tonight

And even as I wish I could stop her
Something whispers “Why even try?”
I got a lot of shots, but I lost her
And if you ever see her cry
I’m the reason why

Celia’s having adventures without me
She should’ve been my wife
Guess that she’s probably not thinking about me
Celia’s gone from my life

And even though I say I don’t miss her
The truth is that I’m barely getting by
And every day I wish that I could kiss her
So if you ever see me cry
Or see her with some guy
I’m the reason why
Tell her I said bye

 

Songwriting diary:

I recently read the wonderful novel The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid, and this song was directly inspired by some of what happens in that novel. I won’t say more, lest I give too many spoilers!

I literally don’t even remember the writing process of this because it flowed out of me while I was in a trance-like flow state, as sometimes happens. But I had fun putting together the R&B-inspired musical arrangement for it, which allowed the song to make way more sense sonically than it did when it was just me and a ukulele.

Song 30/52: “Mr. Mean”

Lyrics:

Each day at work, I sit and pray
That when I get back home today
I won’t be face-to-face with Mr. Mean

Thought I knew the real you
And now I don’t know what to do
When did you turn into Mr. Mean?

You love me when I’m needy
You love me when I shrink
You hate when I get angry
Or when I dare to think
Your rage is like a fire, and I guess I’m gasoline
It feels like it’s my fault you’re Mr. Mean

I used to count the hours until
I’d see your face, and now I still
Watch the clock and wait for Mr. Mean

You lured me in and got me hooked
There was a lot I overlooked
Until I was in bed with Mr. Mean

You used to love my body, used to kiss every freckle
I’m waking up with Hyde when I went to bed with Jekyll
You need to clean your act up, Mr. Mean

You love me when I’m tragic
You love me when I’m weak
You hate when I get angry
Or when I dare to speak
I’m not your little dolly and I’m not your troubled teen
And now I think I’m done with Mr. Mean

I’m off to find another who will treat me like a queen
And now I’m finally done with Mr. Mean

 

Songwriting diary:

I pulled some tarot cards to inspire a song, and they were the Five of Wands and the Two of Cups. This is quite a striking duality because the Five of Wands is all about conflict and disagreement, while the Two of Cups is about love and partnership. It immediately reminded me of the Betti song “Ordinary,” one of my favorite songs, which is about a tumultuous relationship between partners who are constantly arguing. I decided I wanted to write something on the same theme, in a similar style (“Ordinary” sounds like a classic midcentury jazz-lounge standard, the likes of which someone like Ella Fitzgerald or Billie Holiday might have sung).

I sat at my desk and just sort of quieted my mind and listened for anything that was coming up and might work well in a song. The words “Mr. Mean” came to me. This was especially strange because I hadn’t even seen those Mr./Miss/Mx. memes that started to go around shortly thereafter (although I did read some of those books as a kid, so maybe they were in there somewhere).

I wrote a complete lyric for the song, without playing an instrument, and then tried to take the melody I was hearing in my head and translate it to chords that could be played underneath it. It took a few rounds of lyrical and melodic edits to get the song done and it turned out exactly how I was hoping it would!

Song 31/52: “Hasn’t Happened Yet”

Lyrics:

Love is hard – yes, this I know
All my friends think I’m too slow
But what they forget
Is: it just hasn’t happened yet

Love’s a hidden pot of gold
At the end of the rainbow
And I could make the trek
But it just hasn’t happened yet

I’m not exaggerating
It’s been devastating
When everybody’s dating
And I’m still here, just waiting and waiting

Love can’t really be that great
If it makes me wait and wait
And I’m a bit perplexed
That it hasn’t happened yet

Love is really overhyped
Sorry, but you know I’m right
And I’m not that upset
That it hasn’t happened yet

Why am I still debating
When I should be mating?
It’s so frustrating
That I’m still here, just waiting and waiting

Am I right or am I wrong
That someday love will come along?
On the world wide internet
Or on a mountain in Tibet
Or on a private jumbo jet
It just hasn’t happened yet

 

Songwriting diary:

This was another one inspired by tarot cards. I pulled the Nine of Pentacles and the Ace of Cups. The former is about abundance, living in luxury and self-sufficiency, while the latter is about (among other things) new love. Those two ideas paired together made me think about what it would mean to be abundant in love – i.e. to finally be in the exact sort of happy, fulfilling relationship you’d always dreamed of – and then also what it would mean to be the opposite, to be bereft of love or to have never even experienced it.

I wrote a full set of lyrics which was pretty close to what ended up being the final ones – there were just a few tweaks. I made a recording of the melody I heard in my head to accompany those words, but the melody I ended up with was totally different than that first one I’d tried out. I’m always listening to and reading interviews with various different songwriters these days to inspire me, and a theme that’s come up in a lot of them lately is: don’t necessarily go with the first melody that comes to you. Try a few things out first. So I did, and found something that worked a lot better.

All the Hardware & Software I Use for Blogging, Journalism, Podcasting & Music

Kate Sloan

I get questions sometimes about the equipment I use to do the various things I do, so I thought I’d compile it all in one big master post! (Last updated: 10/08/2024)

 

General hardware

  • My computer is a 2022 M2 MacBook Air. I added more storage space and RAM than the base model offers, so it can keep up with the most taxing tasks I do (usually video or audio editing).
  • When I’m at my desk, my MacBook is hooked up to my 24-inch ViewSonic monitor, which I got because it’s one of the only ones that can connect to a MacBook and charge it at the same time, through just one cable.
  • When at my desk, I switch back and forth between a few mechanical keyboards that I customized myself. My daily driver is a blue Epomaker Galaxy80 with Holy Panda switches on the alphanumeric keys, Akko Cream Blue switches on the modifier keys, and blue and pink pastel keycaps from Drop; I also added a custom volume knob to it. When I’m podcasting, or doing other activities that require quiet, I switch to a KeebMonkey KBM68Pro that has Akko Fairy silent switches on the alphas and Akko Penguin silent switches on the modifiers, with turquoise gradient keycaps.
  • I use an Apple Magic Trackpad (a gift from my Apple-nerdy spouse). Have never really been able to go back to using a mouse after getting used to a trackpad.
  • My spouse also got me a reMarkable 2 a while ago, which I love to use for writing while traveling, writing at coffee shops and bars, songwriting, note-taking, and various other writerly purposes.
  • I use my iPad mini 5 for leisure activities mostly (Netflix, Instapaper, etc.) but it’s also what I work on when my chronic pain is flaring up too badly for me to sit at a desk, or when I want to work in a location where bringing a laptop would be inconvenient. I often use it with a walnut iPad stand from Yohann, which is very design-y and beautiful.
  • My phone is an iPhone 13 Pro, a hand-me-down from my generous spouse. It has a great camera; I take most of my photos and videos on it.
  • For Zoom calls and such, I have a Logitech C920S webcam affixed to my monitor.
  • When I read, either for pleasure or for research, I’m usually doing it on my Kindle Paperwhite. I love that it’s waterproof, because I read in the bath a fair bit, and I also love its highlighting and note-taking features.
  • I have a HomePod mini next to my bed which I use to control music and lighting with my voice, among other things. it’s especially convenient on days when chronic pain and fatigue are making it difficult for me to do things myself.

 

Podcasting & music equipment

 

Analog hardware

 

Software

  • This blog runs on WordPress.
  • I do most of my other writing in Google Docs.
  • I keep track of my income and business expenses in Google Sheets.
  • The Notes app that comes built-in on Apple devices is my best friend, and I use it for the bulk of my digital note-taking and for keeping track of my life overall. It’s where I make my daily to-do list as well.
  • I used Scrivener to write both of my books. It’s the best software for longform projects that I’m aware of.
  • For podcasting, I record in Audacity and edit in Adobe Audition. No particular reason for these choices except that I know them well/have been using them for a long time (they taught us Audition in journalism school and I used Audacity for my first podcast, when I was 12!).
  • Depending on who I’m talking to, I usually do online video or audio calls with either Zoom or FaceTime.
  • When interviewing people on Zoom or similar, either for a podcast or for an article, I record audio with Piezo.
  • When interviewing someone over the phone (very rare these days), I use TapeACall Pro. It’s a bit convoluted and unreliable, though, so I’d like to find a better solution someday.
  • For making rough demo recordings while writing songs, I use Voice Record Pro. This is also how I capture any random melodic ideas that come to me while I’m out and about.
  • During the songwriting process, I often use the Rhymezone app, not only for rhymes but also as a dictionary and thesaurus.
  • I use Descript for automated interview transcriptions. It is a weirdly complicated and difficult-to-understand app but I know how to do the basic things I need to do in it, so it’s fine.
  • I save and read articles in Instapaper. I save and read book highlights in Readwise.
  • The Dildorks is hosted on Simplecast.
  • I record and produce music in GarageBand and then edit videos in iMovie.
  • I listen to tunes on Apple Music all day long.