30 Fun Things to Do When You’re High

Kate Sloan

Happy 4/20, friends. I don’t know how many of you are, like me, lucky enough to have access to weed if you want it, but if you are, here are some things I have found are fun to do while baked as fuck. Give some of ’em a shot today if you like!

  1. Listen to beautiful music. Ideally with good headphones and while you’re not doing anything else. Just focus totally on the music and feel it in your body.
  2. Watch people perform methodical tasks on YouTube, such as making cocktails, cleaning workboots, or applying a full face of makeup.
  3. Read a children’s book you love, for the nostalgia and the pure childlike glee of it.
  4. Take a shower and really revel in the sensations. Bonus points if you have wonderfully-scented soap or body wash.
  5. Go for a walk and appreciate nature. (While maintaining social distancing, of course.)
  6. Masturbate decadently, with toys and lube and self-administered foreplay. The whole nine yards. You deserve it!
  7. Listen to a hypnosis file. Some people find that drugs and alcohol hinder their ability to focus and thus to go into trance, but some others find that trance combines well with intoxication. Find out which camp you fall into!
  8. Write love letters to your favorite people. Don’t send them until you’ve sobered up and can make rational decisions about whether or not it’s a good idea to do so – but you may find that the words and feelings flow more easily in an altered state.
  9. Pursue pain, whether through a little light scratching and pinching of your own skin, or through a full-on S&M scene with a partner. I find that pain feels much more pleasurable when I’m high.
  10. Wear your comfiest loungewear and enjoy the way it feels on your skin.
  11. Think about God. Do you believe in a higher power? What are your reasons for holding that opinion? How would your lifestyle change if your theological beliefs changed? These are interesting questions to mull over, even if you’re staunch in your religious views (or lack thereof).
  12. Sing or play music. Karaoke tracks are easy to find online and are ideal for this purpose.
  13. Watch stand-up comedy. Everything is funnier when you’re high. The stand-up section on Netflix is a goldmine; James Acaster’s absurdist specials are faves of mine.
  14. Moisturize. Mmm, luxurious.
  15. Read a fascinating and long piece of journalism, the likes of which you might find on Longreads.com. Let yourself get absorbed in the story.
  16. Dance to great music. I recommend Reverie Sound Revue and Robot Science.
  17. Cook an elaborate meal, if you think you’re level-headed enough to be trusted in the kitchen.
  18. Journal about your feelings, recent events in your life, things you’ve been thinking about lately, and so on. Sometimes drugs can help you access a deeper, more authentic self than regular life tends to allow for.
  19. Do yoga or stretch. Feel how the weed makes the sensations register differently in your body.
  20. Sit and look out a window, contemplatively and at length, like you’re a sad boy in a Victorian-era novel. We so rarely spend time just being quiet with our thoughts these days.
  21. Watch videos of baby animals. No explanation necessary.
  22. Make art. Pull out your paints or pencils or tablet or what-have-you. If you’re feeling uninspired, start by picking a random object in your room to create a likeness of.
  23. Play a video game, especially one with beautiful graphics. Virtual worlds can feel extra immersive on drugs.
  24. Talk on the phone with someone who is also high. It’ll either be really weird or really funny or both.
  25. Eat snacks. “The munchies” are very real.
  26. Take sexy selfies for you and/or a sweetheart to enjoy later.
  27. Put on a cam show, either for your sweetheart or in a more public venue like FireCams. (Just be sure that this is something Sober You would’ve wanted to do, too!)
  28. Watch a really dramatic TV show like The L Word or Westworld and allow yourself to get swept up in the ensuing emotions.
  29. Answer questions on Reddit in subforums like /r/AskReddit, /r/AskWomen, or /r/Sex. (You can make a new account to do so anonymously if you prefer.) This activity typically requires some self-reflection, which weed’s creativity-boosting properties can help facilitate.
  30. Focus on your breathing, in a meditative manner, for as long as you like. Notice the thoughts that come up.

How are you spending your 4/20, friends?

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

How the Vacation Mindset Can Make You a Better Flirt

Kate Sloan

When you’re stuck at home, like so many of us are right now, it’s hard not to start planning what you’d like to do when you’re allowed to go out again. Or, more accurately, when you’re allowed to go back out into a world that has regained some modicum of normalcy.

Along these lines, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a book I read and reviewed a while ago, The Offline Dating Method by Camille Virginia. The book presents tips and techniques for striking up a conversation with a hot stranger in public, and then parlaying that conversation into a date or even a relationship. While the book seemed fun and frivolous (in a good way) to me when I read it, it seems even moreso now, when an in-person meet-cute seems as remote and perilous a possibility as a hookup on a mountaintop. But it’s a nice notion to ponder, when daydreaming optimistically about what will happen when public life reopens for business.

One of the many concepts I’ve retained from Camille’s book is her idea of the “vacation mindset” – the state of mind you get into when you’re visiting an unfamiliar place. Camille argues that being a fish out of water can help you shake off your stale old self-image and slip into something a little sexier, flirtier, flashier. It’s the reason I’ll often chat up bartenders in cities I’m unlikely to visit again, despite almost never doing that at home; it’s the reason I’ll smile at strangers on the street in Portland or Montreal but rarely Toronto; it’s even the reason I looked into Los Angeles escorts when I visited Burbank earlier this year. (Unfortunately, constraints on time and money ruled out that last one!) Being in a new place makes it easy to imagine being a new person – and even to move toward becoming that person.

See, if you feel trapped in an identity that is shy, reserved, and afraid, it’s easier to move away from those traits when no one around you actually knows what kind of person you are in your “regular life.” This was an exciting notion to me when I entered high school, for example, because I fully intended to cast off my long-outgrown plainness and step into a more fulfilling self-image – and I did! But the thing is, you don’t actually have to enter a new context in order to access this effect. You can trick yourself into embodying the vacation mindset without ever leaving your city.

I find this easiest to do in neighborhoods I don’t often visit, because – like when I’m on vacation – I have the sense that I’m unlikely to see the people around me very often, or ever again, in the future. You could strike up a convo with a barista at a café across town from you, for instance, or get to know the person sitting next to you at a comedy club you’ve never been to before. This helps create a sense of “having nothing to lose” which I find very freeing in social interactions. You can still fuck up this type of encounter, obviously, but if you do, you can just apologize and then disappear forever from the life of the person you’ve weirded out, like a socially awkward Macavity.

These types of seemingly low-stakes interactions can be good practice for higher-stakes ones. You’re building up your confidence, sure, but you’re also building up your mental picture of the type of person you want to become. Even if you feel like a nebbish nobody for most of the week, feeling like a fabulous flirt for even one night can give you a foothold into that mindset – and maybe one day you’ll be that charismatic charmer all the time!

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

5 Excellent Excuses to Dress Up In Your Own Home

Kate Sloan

I’m sure that, like me, you’ve been reading a lot of conflicting advice online about how to stay stuck at home without totally drowning in despair. Some people say, “Put on lipstick and real clothes every day so you feel put-together and normal!” while others say, “Wear pajamas and skip shaving for as long as you want – shit’s hard right now and you should be gentle with yourself!”

The thing is, both of these perspectives are correct. Lounging around in sweatpants is necessary and uplifting, at some times and for some people. So is dressing to the nines.

With that in mind, here are 5 excuses to put on a fancy/cute/weird outfit, even if you don’t plan on leaving your house for the foreseeable future – because I know that some of you, like me, are of a persuasion that enables fashion and beauty to lift your mood and bolster your confidence. You don’t need an excuse to get dressed, but if you want one, I’ve got some for you!

Attend an online event

A few friends of mine have been loving the nightly opera streams currently offered by the Met, and I can’t imagine an online event better suited to be dressed up for, especially given how fancy people usually get to attend the opera. You could wear a sequinned gown, a velvet suit, a long and flowing skirt, a giant fascinator in your hair… Whatever feels elegant and dressy to you!

That said, there are lots of other online events worth dressing up for, albeit not necessarily as formally as you would for the opera. I recently enjoyed attending a Risk livestream; there are online queer dance parties, literary panels, film festivals, and much more. These are relatively easy to dress for because you can just ask yourself, “What would I wear if I was attending this event IRL?” and then wear that.

Host a gathering

We’re entering the era of the Zoom party! May as well have a good time if we have to be stuck at home. Invite several of your favorite people to an online event. This, blessedly, usually takes less planning and preparation than an in-person rendezvous, and also enables you to invite people you don’t normally get to see because they live in different cities/countries/continents than you.

You could hold a get-together to mark your birthday or some other significant occasion. You could also just pick a theme (which often makes it easier to choose an outfit) and have a party for the heck of it. Toast to your shared circumstances and have a good time!

Do a photoshoot

If you’ve got extra time on your hands, as many of us do right now, you may as well spend it feeling sexy and documenting your cuteness! (Check out my post on at-home exhibitionism for more tips along these lines.) Put on something you don’t often get to wear, but that you feel amazing in – like a set of fancy lingerie or a hot leather jacket – and set up your phone or camera to take some self-portraits. Post ’em or don’t – it’s up to you.

Should you happen to be self-isolating with someone else who also wants to participate, you could take some snaps of each other. Hell, if you want, you could even schedule a time to video-call a similarly dolled-up friend and the two of you could take screenshots of one another while you strike various poses. Anything to distract you from the constant barrage of bad news, right?

Roleplay a sexy scenario

This is, of course, easiest if you happen to be holed up with a partner – but you don’t have to be. You could make plans to Skype your sweetie for a costumed teacher/student roleplay, for example, or tell your polycule to dress as various different superheroes for a fanciful group FaceTime call designed to devolve into an exhibitionistic touchless orgy.

You could even incorporate your medium of communication into the roleplay itself; for instance, sometimes my partner and I talk on the phone pretending I’m a hysteria patient who’s called in to a medical hotline for advice and guidance. You don’t have to let our current era’s limitations hamper your erotic imagination!

Put on a performance

There are a lot of jokes going around right now about the proliferation of Instagram Live broadcasts, but frankly, if reading the Twilight novels aloud to an online audience or casually painting while chatting with your followers is what gets you through this tough time, I say go right ahead! It’s probably a nice escape for the people tuning in as well.

Slither into a satin dress to play some ukulele tunes on Facebook. Don your best goth ensemble to perform some of the Stephen King oeuvre on YouTube. Bust out your tutu for an impromptu ballet show on Instagram. Fuck the haters; dressing up and performing are fun, and may well be helpful to the folks watching.

And hey, if you want to put on a sexy show, there are plenty of ways to do that, as you probably know… This Cirillas Fleshlight review and my review of the Vixen Bandit are great places to start if you’re looking for sex toys that help with a wee bit of exhibitionism!

Have you been getting dressed much lately? Any good outfits/stories/pieces of wisdom to share on the subject?

 

Heads up: this post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

5 Ways to Explore Exhibitionism While Social-Distancing

Kate Sloan

As I’ve said before, one of the (seemingly very few) silver linings of the current global pandemic is that those of us privileged enough to be able to stay home will now have more time for sex, pleasure, and exploration – at least, if our libidos manage to overcome the anxiety we’re all feeling!

You could, for example, use this time to lean into any exhibitionistic impulses you’ve been harboring. Sometimes feeling desirable is the best cure for a low mood. Lucky for you, I’ve got some suggestions for ways to show off sexually without ever leaving your house!

Start with sexting. If you haven’t yet discovered the joys of adult live chat, now’s the time! When exchanging sexts with a sweetie, turn up the exhibitionism dial by sending them pictures that demonstrate just how much they’re turning you on (with consent, of course) or even just by describing how you’re touching yourself and how you look at that moment. This is a fairly low-pressure way to ease into exhibitionism if that’s a direction you’re interested in moving in.

Perform in front of a mirror. Your exhibitionism is just as valid if you’re the only voyeur! In fact, some people even prefer it that way. Set the mood however you like – sexy music, low lighting, incense, self-massage, and so on – and then go to town on yourself, either with toys or just with your hands. (I will add that now is an especially good time to put effort into sex toy hygiene! I know a popular male cam model who uses rubbing alcohol to keep his toys free of bacteria, but you don’t have to go that far – a thorough scrubdown with soap and water should be fine for nonporous toys, even if you plan to put them in your mouth.)

Put on a cam show. No, you don’t have to look like – or perform like – the best live webcam girls to put on a very sexy show! An intimate cam performance for one spectator, especially one you know well and are attracted to, often has quite a different vibe from the more well-known, professional variety. If you’re not sure what to do, ask your beau if they’d like to watch you get yourself off. Then you can stage a spectacle involving a drawn-out striptease, seductive self-touch all over your body, a thorough fucking with sex toys, or whatever else you please. And hey, if you end up loving the experience and want to start putting on shows for groups and/or strangers, there are lots of places online to do that!

Send someone audio of your orgasm. The way you sound while you’re coming is probably super hot, even if you personally don’t think so! Use the voice memo function on your phone – or, if you’re fancy, a proper microphone and recording software – to record yourself getting off, and then send out the audio to any sweetheart or crush who enthusiastically consents to hear it. This can be a fun follow-up to an earlier sexting convo (“Wanna hear how hard I got off while re-reading your words?”), a follow-through on a kinky assignment (“I jerked off the way you wanted me to, Madame – here’s proof!”), or an out-of-the-blue lust-bomb.

Take thirst traps. Look, you’ve probably got time to kill at the moment – may as well spend it shooting nudes ‘n’ lewds if you are that way inclined. This could even be a self-care and self-love ritual of sorts, at a time when those things are very much needed. You could take a long, luxurious bath or shower, get dressed up and/or dolled up so you feel as foxy as possible, and then document the moment with your phone or camera. Depending on your comfort level, you may want to share the pics with one or two people, no one at all, or the entire internet – you can elicit that exhibitionistic rush either way!

Have you been engaging in any of these exhibitionistic behaviors while social-distancing? How’s it going?

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Monthly Faves: Robots, Doctors, & Hearts

Kate Sloan

Wow, what a wild month. I hope you’re keeping well in this unprecedented time, my loves. In an attempt at recapturing normalcy, here’s a list of sexy and sexy-adjacent things I enjoyed this month…

Sex toys

• My favorite sex-related acquisition of the month was my hot pink Clone-a-Willy. I mean, of course it’s my favorite – it’s my partner’s dick, immortalized in silicone. Getting fucked with it has been a delight.

• When we did a Dildorks episode wherein I hypnotized Bex (you can watch the video here if you’re a Patreon supporter of ours, or if you choose to become one), I used my trusty pink Tarina Tarantino heart necklace as a pendulum for the inductions. I really can’t think of an object I’d like better for this purpose. #HypnoFemme

• Sutil has become my favorite lube brand, and this month they sent me a care package containing enough lube to last me the rest of the year, at least. Their “Rich” lube is a must-have for me these days – it’s thick and long-lasting enough for just about any sexual activity I get up to.

Fantasy fodder

• I asked my partner a while ago what kind of content I should write about COVID-19 and one of the things they suggested was medical roleplay… At first I was like “TOO SOON!” but honestly, turning my anxiety-fuelled daymares into over-the-top sexual fantasies about doctors and masks, etc. has been a helpful coping mechanism for me! If you have coronavirus-related sexual fantasies (and don’t think it’s gauche to discuss them), feel free to sound off in the comments…

• Lately my partner has been coming fairly regularly while giving me oral sex – through a combination of grinding against the sheets and just finding my vulva/sounds/wetness really hot, apparently – and it really brings new meaning to the whole interaction. I’m much more able to relax into receiving sensation, even for a long time, if I feel like my pleasure is hugely pleasurable for my partner as well!

• My partner and I have been working our way through Westworld (more on that in the Media section) and it’s full of delicious perviness. The idea of being a sex robot built specifically to give pleasure – and of not even knowing that that’s what you’re for – is immensely hot to me… not to mention the low-key hypnokink stuff that’s all over that show!

Sexcetera

• Some of my work elsewhere this month: In my newsletter, I wrote about sex when you’re sick, pandemic anxiety coping methods, and why bars are the places I miss most at this time. On The Dildorks, we interviewed JoEllen Notte about sex and depression, did a hypno scene, and talked about solo kink and sex and dating in the time of coronavirus. Our guests on Question Box included sex writer Ana Valens, voiceover artist Sarah Sumeray, and my brother Max – and we also did a St. Patrick’s Day special where Brent and I got extremely drunk (go look it up in your podcatcher of choice; it’s a hoot). I also guested on the Sofia Gray podcast to talk about pubic hair, and my pal Erin Pim invited me back onto the Bed Post podcast for an enlightening discussion about keeping long-distance relationships fun and sexy (very relevant right now!).

• Ever wanted to see my partner give me a spanking? Good news: now you can rent a scene on MakeLoveNotPorn depicting just that! It’s a video of our traditional New Year’s spanking (yes, it’s a few months old now), where my Sir makes me list my achievements and goals between hits. I think you’ll dig it!

• Sextistics: This month I had phone sex 12 times, and then my partner came to stay with me and we had in-person sex 13+ times (it isn’t quite the end of the month yet at time of writing so I’m not sure of the total). Look, you gotta fill those quarantine hours somehow!

Fashion & beauty

• The great Rachel Syme started a hashtag called #DistanceButMakeItFashion wherein people are encouraged to dress up despite the lack of anywhere to go, and post pictures of their fancy outfits. It’s become a Sunday tradition but you can really do it any time. I enjoyed getting dolled up in shades of blue, and (on another occasion) swathing myself in velvet and doing a sharp cut crease.

• Did you know Zenni makes PRESCRIPTION heart-shaped glasses?! I got myself a pair in red, and I absolutely love them. When I bought them, I figured I’d only bust them out on special occasions, but I’ve actually been wearing them almost every time I leave the house for a socially-distanced walk or a rare trip to the store – I feel that I might as well brighten people’s days in these bleak times if I can, and they make me feel cute as hell, too!

• My pal Clementine Morrigan has a new T-shirt available featuring gorgeous art from one of their zines. I am loving mine!

Media

• I’m late to the party but I finally started watching Westworld, HBO’s dark thriller about an Old West-themed amusement park staffed with sentient robots who slowly start to realize that their world and their very existence are a contrivance. Lots of people recommended this show to me back when I was working on a piece about how sex robots could shape our sexual culture, and they were right to do so: it’s full of tricky ethical questions about sadism, solipsism, and the nature of artificial intelligence.

• Like seemingly everyone on Twitter right now, I am obsessed with the new Animal Crossing game, New Horizons. It’s an extremely relaxing and adorable life simulation game. I’ve been fishing and crafting my troubles away!

• One of my favorite distractions these days is the YouTube channel How to Drink, which my partner introduced me to a while ago. Greg, the affable host, makes excellent cocktails while jovially explaining how you can make them too. His 4-hour-long “quarantine special” livestream was a breath of fresh air – he taught us all how to make a “quarantini” while being good-natured and sweet and cute. Thanks for the escapism (and the drink ideas), Greg.

Little things

My therapist being excited to hear that I did shrooms. A flower from Zoe as an “It’s almost your birthday!” gift. Getting overly dressed up for karaoke. Kale salad at Insomnia. Watching Cats with the rowdy Drunk Feminist Films crew and my mom. Taking socially-distanced walks through parks and down to the harbor. FaceTiming with the fam. My surprisingly awesome tax advisor (and the relief of getting my taxes paid on time). At-home cocktails lovingly prepared by my sweetheart. Wearing bright colors to combat the gloominess of the weather and just, y’know, the world right now. Use Your Words nights with Dan and Sarah. Owning an embarrassment of peanut butter. Livestreams from Civil Liberties. Being with my love, who makes me feel safe even when the world is scary.