Probably the thing I miss most about my spouse when they’re in New York and I’m in Toronto – apart from their sparkling wit, radiant kindness, comforting cuddles, and gorgeous face – is the way they go down on me. They certainly rank among the most skilled cunnilinguists in my sexual history, and as you may know, people with that skillset often seem to be few and far between.
So I do quite a bit of fantasizin’ about oral sex when I’m jerking off, which means I extra-appreciate toys that focus on clitoral stimulation in a way meant to evoke the human mouth. Obviously, then, my curiosity was piqued when I saw the Smart Little Sweet Tongue vibrator on Bestvibe’s website. Let’s talk about it.
What is the Bestvibe Smart Little Sweet Tongue?
Okay, as per usual for Bestvibe, this toy has a different name in its instruction manual than it does on the company website. The website has it listed as “Bestvibe Pink Tongue Teasing with G Spot Vibrator” [sic] and I am just not going to call it that. Elsewhere I’ve seen it called the Smart Little Sweet Tongue or simply the Sweet Tongue, which is at least a bit more memorable, if not more arousing.
The Sweet Tongue is, in fact, a tongue. It has a textured silicone body made to resemble a human tongue as closely as possible, and there’s a rose gold ABS plastic endcap on the handle side that makes it clear it’s a sex toy and not just a gag gift from the Halloween store.
It has three functions: licking, vibrating, and heating. It is rechargeable and water-resistant (I’ll get into what exactly that means below). On the Bestvibe.co.uk website (which is the one that sent me this product to review), the Sweet Tongue is listed at a regular price of £39.99 (about $47 USD or $65 CAD) and is currently on sale for £23.99 (about $28 USD or $39 CAD).
Things I like about this toy
- As far as oral sex simulators go, this one is actually decent. A common problem with these tongue-like toys is that they usually either go way too slow, boring my clit into oblivion, or way too fast, battering my clit into numbness. But this toy is different. The tip of the tongue, as well as about one-third of the rest of the tongue, wiggles up and down in a way that is actually quite like a human tongue when someone finds exactly the right spot and keeps lapping away at it. When properly lubed, it feels really good (especially since I can reposition it as needed, as described below). The fact that the tongue’s tip is made of squishy, bendy silicone helps a lot with the realism of the sensation, as does the tastebud-esque texture on the toy. Like real licking, the sensation may not impress you much if you’re not all that sensitive and/or if you use powerful vibrators on the regs (which isn’t a judgment, by the way – I’m not always as sensitive as I’d like to be, and I’m also, obviously, a frequent vibrator user). But, on that note, if you’re accustomed to vibrators but want to learn to get off in a way that a human being could replicate sans technology, using a toy like this might be a good middle ground.
- Even with my hand pain and muscle strength limitations, I find it easy to position and reposition this toy as needed to get it where I want it. As with real oral sex, I don’t tend to like being licked in the same exact spot for the entire duration of a session; my clitoral hood, the sides of my clit, and the tip of it are all differently-sensitive spots with different needs and preferences, depending on where I’m at in my arousal cycle. I love how easy it is to put this vibe right where it feels the best and then move on to another area when I want that.
- The heating function is cool (uh, pun not intended, but we’re gonna run with it). It makes sense that a toy meant to emulate the human mouth, notably a warm place, would have this feature. The heating is unfortunately focused more toward the center of the toy, rather than at the tip of the tongue where you’d generally be able to feel it more, but it partially translates to the tip and can help with arousal, realism, and comfort.
- For the most part, the licking function barely slows down when I press the toy more firmly against my body. This allows me to adjust the amount of pressure it’s exerting at any given moment, and widens the variety of sensations that this toy can produce.
- The price of the toy is affordable; as I mentioned, it’s currently £23.99 (about $28 USD or $39 CAD), which is not a ridiculous amount of money to access an interesting sensation that may be new to you.
Things I don’t like about this toy
- Look, I’m just gonna say it: disembodied tongues aren’t very arousing for me, it turns out. I can’t look at this one for too long or I start thinking about the last true-crime miniseries I watched, y’know? Also the fact that there are VEINS on the tongue’s underside seems… excessive. I’m sure some people would enjoy the texture of them, but I’m not sure that’s worth the horror of seeing them. (Thankfully though, they’ll generally be facing away from you during use.)
- As with most oral-adjacent toys, this one requires a lot of (water-based) lube to feel its best. This is not an issue for me since I’m perpetually swimming in bottles of lube (seriously, there are over a dozen by my bed right now) but it’s worth considering, especially if your lube budget is limited.
- Why oh why do so many sex toy companies try to cram multiple functions and settings into one or two buttons?! It’s very annoying. This toy has two buttons, one with a tongue on it and one with a vibrations symbol on it. You hold down the vibrations button for a few seconds to turn the toy on, at which point it’s in standby mode. From there, you cycle through licking modes and vibration modes by pressing each of their buttons, respectively, and you activate the heating mode by quickly double-pressing the tongue button. You can turn off either function by long-pressing its button. This all feels needlessly complicated and the distraction of dealing with controls can sometimes sour any arousal I’ve managed to build.
- There are only three modes of steady licking and three steady vibration modes, after which both functions have a bunch of patterns (which, of course, you have to cycle through if you want to get back to the steady modes). Three speeds is just not enough. I am always left wishing there were a few more.
- On that note, the amount of power this toy has – both licking-wise and vibration-wise – leaves something to be desired. It truly works well as a warm-up toy for building arousal, but the stimulation is just not enough to get me off, even with the vibration and licking both turned up to their max speeds.
- You have to keep a decently firm grip on the toy’s handle while using the licking function; otherwise, due to how physics work, the handle will start moving up and down in your hand when it should be the tongue tip that’s moving. I mostly managed fine by bracing my arm against my thigh, but if you have profound hand strength issues, you might find this toy difficult to use. Possibly you could anchor it in place (say, between your body and the bed, or between two firm objects) and use it hands-free that way.
- The vibrations are very “meh.” They’re buzzy and not very strong. Certainly they might be enough to push you over the edge if the licking function has gotten you close and you just need a little extra stimulation, but for me, they weren’t enough to get me off even in combination with the licking.
- It’s loud. Both the vibration and the licking make a pretty loud mechanical noise that can be distracting. I enjoyed watching cunnilingus porn while using this toy but often found it hard to hear the porn over the toy’s repetitive robotic whine.
- It’s IPX5 water-resistant. This means, according to the IPX Waterproof Rating Guide, that it is “protected against [a] low-pressure water stream from any angle” but should not be submerged in water. This is probably fine for most people’s purposes – it won’t be an issue to use it in the shower or to wash it in the sink – but is worth noting if you were hoping to use this toy in the bath or similar.
- The silicone is particularly prone to picking up lint, hairs, etc. which is kind of unappetizing to see on a tongue.
- Bestvibe’s website says that this toy is also a G-spot vibrator and I would beg to differ. Like, yeah, you can shove it inside yourself and try to get it to lick or vibrate your G-spot, but it doesn’t have the firmness, girth, or deep curve that would generally make that pleasurable.
Final thoughts
While I have a lot of issues with the Bestvibe Sweet Tongue, I actually think it’s pretty damn good for its price point, if you view it as purely a mechanical tongue. The vibrations are bad-to-middling and so I wouldn’t factor them into your decision to buy this toy or not; it all comes down to the licking. Do you want a soft silicone tongue to flick against your clit (or another body part of your choosing) in a manner that is steady, gentle or firm (depending on how much pressure you apply), and rhythmically consistent? Then you should give this toy a shot, and throw some water-based lube into your cart while you’re at it, ’cause you’re gonna need a lot.
But since this toy wasn’t powerful enough to get me off, I doubt I’ll return to it unless I really want to tease and arouse myself with the sensation of a tongue that’s almost-but-not-quite enough for me.
This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.