Be honest: How willing would you be to have sex with someone, if you knew that their signature move was called the “G-spot slap”?
You can understand, then, why I was somewhat trepidatious to review the pithily-named Seekheart G-Spot Slap… but it’s actually a pretty interesting toy with some unusual functions that set it apart from other dual-stimulation vibrators. Let’s talk about it!
What is the Seekheart G-Spot Slap?
This toy features two main functions:
- The titular G-spot-slapping! This toy’s internal/vaginal arm has a long, noodle-shaped piece of silicone positioned inside a little alcove, so that it flicks back and forth rapidly when its vibrations are turned on, “slapping” your G-spot (as well as your posterior vaginal wall) on each stroke.
- A “mouth,” meant to stimulate your clit, with a tongue that vibrates and “licks” up and down, and lips that move back and forth in sucking-esque motion (although it doesn’t produce actual suction – more on that later).
This toy is made of silicone and ABS plastic. It’s IPX6 water-resistant, meaning it can stand up to high-pressure water streams from any direction (like while being washed between uses) but shouldn’t be submerged in water. It lasts about an hour on a 2.5-hour charge, which is pretty typical for a multi-function toy like this.
Things I like about the Seekheart G-Spot Slap
- There are many ways that sex toys attempt to imitate cunnilingus, from rhythmic air waves to suction to flappy silicone tongues; some are more effective than others, and I tend to prefer those which are motion-based, like the undulating “lips” of this toy, over the more stationary kind. Motion-based toys stimulate more of my clit (as opposed to just focusing on the tip), which is more satisfying and more authentically oral-like. To that end, I really liked how this toy could rhythmically massage my clitoral shaft with its lips in a way that very few other toys have managed to do. When well-lubed, it can even make me come (which I suppose is no surprise, given that I have an easier time coming with human partners when they suck my clit rather than licking it).
- Unlike a lot of other motion-based toys, this one didn’t seem to slow down much when pressure was applied, or when my vag muscles squeezed around it. Hooray!
- As violent as the word “slapping” might sound, in practice the G-spot slapping function pretty much just feels like vibration. It starts off rumbly-ish and gets buzzier as you turn it up, but adds a nice undercurrent of sensation that I enjoy. (I didn’t really notice any stimulation on my posterior vaginal wall, possibly because that’s just not a very sexually sensitive zone for me.)
- The very tip of the toy’s internal arm also “taps” against the A-spot area when the flapping function is turned on. This function doesn’t seem to be mentioned anywhere on the G-Spot Slap’s website, but it’s there! I found that it seemed to vibrate the general vicinity of my A-spot, rather than intensely targeting the spot itself, though, so I’d look elsewhere if you’re hoping for a very A-spotty vibe.
- Each of this toy’s two main functions can be controlled separately with its own button, so you can (for instance) crank up the power on the internal part while leaving the external part at the same setting, or vice-versa.
- Further, the buttons are well-labelled and easy to locate, even in the dark, because they’re raised and they light up when the toy is on.
Things I don’t like about the Seekheart G-Spot Slap
- My main issue with this toy is that the lips don’t create suction and don’t apply much pressure… they just move back and forth, like someone open-mouth kissing your clit again and again. That feels good to a point, but just like when human partners do it, I tend to want a little more zeal once I get turned on, and this toy just can’t provide it. Any suction created by the lips’ motion is immediately broken as they continue to move. I was able to get off with this toy by holding it very firmly against my vulva to maintain clit contact as consistently as possible, but even then, the orgasm was hardly satisfying, because – again – there was no suction and very minimal pressure being applied to my clit while I came.
- The “tongue” inside this toy’s “mouth” is quite pointy, rigid, straight, and uniform, which ultimately makes it feel pokier and far less pleasurable than, say, the more realistic tongue of the Seekheart Licker. To make matters worse, the vibrations conducted by this tongue are quite buzzy, and don’t add much (if at all) to the pleasure provided by the surrounding lips.
- The mouth has 4 steady speeds followed by 6 patterns; the “slapper” has 3 steady speeds followed by 7 patterns. That is not enough steady speeds, especially since they start quite fast – it would’ve been nice to have several slower options as well. And also it’s irritating that you have to cycle through all the patterns to get back to the first speed.
- The mouth function is distractingly noisy. When you first turn it on, it sounds like mechanical whirring. In use, it sounds more like somebody is grumbling against my vulva (rhythmically chanting something like “bubble bubble” or “rumble rumble,” to be specific!). Not exactly a mood-setter, unless you’ve got a mumblecore fetish.
- Speaking of noise: Oddly enough, because this toy’s vaginal arm has a big cutout in the middle of it, it’ll induce the occasional queefing-type sound during use. This doesn’t bother me, and doesn’t cause me any discomfort or anything, but it might bug some users. On that note, the cutout itself also makes the toy minorly more annoying to clean than it would otherwise be, as does the mouth.
- Unlike with some other dual-stim toys, there’s not really an easy way to use either function of this toy on its own if you wanted to. You can’t, for example, position the toy’s mouth on your clit without also inserting its vaginal arm (or at least, I couldn’t figure out a way to do so!). There isn’t enough flexibility in the shaft to allow for that.
- At the time that I’m writing this, the G-Spot Slap is retailing for £43.99, which converts to about $58 USD or $81 CAD. I ultimately think that’s too pricey for the lackluster clit stim you get with this toy, at least if clit stim is important to you (which it is for most vulva-havers).
Final thoughts
I’m always saying how much I love it when sex toy companies take risks, creating innovative new ways to prompt pleasure – and the Seekheart G-Spot Slap does a bunch of stuff I haven’t seen elsewhere much, if at all, so I’ve gotta give the company kudos for pushing the envelope!
It mouths your clit with soft lips (“softer than men’s,” according to the Seekheart website!) while vibrating it with a tongue, albeit a pretty pointy one… and it also “slaps” your G-spot and A-spot with pleasing vibration, albeit without much precision. I wish its clitoral sensations were more intense and concentrated, but not every toy aims for intensity – and if the idea of having your clit sweetly kissed again and again is a turn-on for you, you should certainly consider the G-Spot Slap!
But as for me, I think I’ll stick to coming between human lips instead of mechanical ones, because they know me better and feel better – at least until the technology improves. 🤖😉
This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As ever, all writing and opinions are my own.