anal lube

Current Fave Lubes

Kate Sloan

It’s been a while since I’ve done this, so… here’s some current faves of mine in the lube category!

Best general-purpose lube: Sutil Rich (available at SheVibe and Come As You Are)

This water-based formula is, indeed, rich. It feels much more luxe than most lubes of this type; its viscosity is almost more akin to a thick silicone-based lube, though there are no silicones in it. I would happily use this for hand stuff, vag stuff, butt stuff, on toys and on dicks and on fingers… Gimme more!

Best for vaginal sex: Sliquid Organics Natural Gel (available at SheVibe, Come As You Are, and Peepshow)

Water-based lubes work great for vaginal sex because they don’t dry up when they can get re-lubricated by your natural bodily fluids throughout a session. This one is thick and gel-like, non-irritating, and not as expensive as Sutil, so it’s an absolute staple for me. And it comes in a pretty huge bottle that lasts me a long time.

Best for handjobs: The Butters (available at Peepshow)

You just can’t beat the all-natural slip-‘n’-slide of this oil-based formula for an HJ. It’s creamy, long-lasting, and it smells and tastes not-entirely-awful incase you’re gonna get your face down there afterward. It’s got a bit of grittiness to it, so it’s best if you or your partner like a little friction. It also sinks into the skin after a while, so it’s ideal if you enjoy a well-moisturized cock. Just don’t try to use it with condoms (oil breaks down latex), and at this point I’d recommend against using it vaginally because it may have given me an infection once or twice.

Best for handjobs (runner-up): Slippery Stuff Silicone Lubricant (available at SheVibe)

This is one of the thicker, more gel-like silicone lubes I’ve encountered, making it great for HJs. My partner says it feels luxurious and cushioned, so you can use it to stroke hard and fast without discomfort. They also say this one feels more like vaginal lubrication than the Butters, if you’re into that. However, like most (if not all) silicone-based lubes, it tastes pretty gross, so I would recommend against this one if you think your HJ is gonna transition into a BJ.

Best for butt stuff: Sliquid Silk (available at SheVibe, and Peepshow)

This hybrid lube – that is to say, mostly water-based, with a small amount of silicone mixed in – marries the longevity of silicone lubes to the cushiony slip of water-based ones, making it ideal for anal play. The silicone content is low enough that you can even use it with silicone toys (though you should spot-test beforehand to make sure), so it’s one of my faves for pegging.

 

What are your favorite lubes these days?

Why Everyone Should Own Lube

Kate Sloan

There are very few immutable truths when it comes to sex. Here are a few I think are important: No matter how weird you think your sexual tastes are, there are people out there who are into the same things as you. Informed, ongoing consent is mandatory for any activity. And lube makes everything better.

It seems to me that most queer and trans folks and vagina-having folks are aware of this fact, but a worryingly high percentage of straight cis men are not. That’s largely because the quintessential “straight” sex act – peen-in-vag intercourse – is often depicted in our culture as “not requiring” lube, even though, as with most sex acts, it can be substantially improved by throwing some lube into the mix.

There’s a common cultural narrative that you won’t need lube if you’re aroused “enough,” but of course, that’s bullshit. As sex-positive writers and thinkers like Sarah Jane and JoEllen Notte have pointed out, high arousal doesn’t always lead to high lubrication. It can depend on your body, where you are in your hormonal cycle, medications you’re on, and various other factors. There is no shame in needing or wanting to use lube! In fact, I think just about everyone’s sex life would be improved with the addition of lube if they’re not already using it (and more lube, if they are).

Have I convinced you yet? If so, here are some of my favorite lubes for various fun activities…

For PIV: Good ol’ vaginal intercourse, I find, pairs well with a vag-friendly water-based lube like Blossom Organics. Water-based lubes are ill-suited to predominantly external activities like handjobs, because your body absorbs the water after a few minutes and so you gotta keep reapplying – but since the vagina is self-lubricating for many of us, I find a little water-based lube is often enough to get me started, and then my vag supplies the rest of the moisture I need as I get more and more turned on. I like this one in particular because it’s designed to minimize vaginal irritation (no glycerin or propylene glycol here!) and its taste and smell are inoffensive (a surprisingly difficult quality to find in lubes). Plus it just looks cute on my nightstand.

For butt stuff: I’m ride-or-die for Sliquid Sassy; it’s a known fact. Recently I told my boyfriend I like lots of different lubes and he clarified, “But you’re a Sassy girl at heart,” because he knows me. Sassy is a water-based lube with a thicker consistency than most, so it’s longer-lasting than your average water-based lube and tends to more-or-less stay where you put it instead of dripping all over the place. This makes it a pleasant choice for lubin’ up anything that’s gonna go in your butt, though I use Sassy vaginally a lot too. I appreciate that this lube has only five ingredients and is effectively odorless and tasteless: sometimes you just want a lube that works well without adding any bells or whistles to the experience.

For oral sex: Sliquid Swirl is one of the only actually good-tasting flavored lubes I’ve ever tried – and, crucially, unlike almost every flavored lube on the market, it’s glycerin-free. It comes in lots of different flavors and all the ones I’ve tried have been at least passably tasty, if not outright delicious. Some people find flavored lubes confusing as a concept; I’d invite them to remember that we all get a case of dry mouth from time to time, so sometimes you need a little help with lubrication while going down on your sweetheart. Flavored lube can also just be a silly novelty, for when you want to mix things up – ’cause sex is supposed to be fun!

For handjobs: Whether you’re strokin’ a dick or a vulva, I would heartily recommend The Butters. It’s a smooth, whipped lube made of natural ingredients like aloe vera gel, apple cider vinegar, shea butter, coconut oil, and grapeseed oil. It’s long-lasting and its texture feels divine on the skin. As a bonus, its taste isn’t objectionable at all (to me, anyway), so you can transition from hand stuff to mouth stuff without much trouble. And your skin will feel moisturized as hell afterward!

What are your favorite lubes? Which uses are they best suited for?

 

This post was sponsored by Peepshow Toys, who are generously helping me get to the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit this August! Check out their fine selection of lubricants. As always, all writing and opinions in this post are my own.