body positivity – Girly Juice

7 Things I’ve Done That Unexpectedly Improved My Body Image

January 20, 2026January 20, 2026Kate Sloan

Feeling good about your body is a lifelong journey. Healing from systemic fatphobia, ableism, etc. is like healing from anything else: it’s not linear, and you might have backslides sometimes – but it’s exhilarating to notice an overall upward trend in how you feel about your body, even if it takes years, or decades.

Aside from more obvious things like reading the work of body-positive thinkers, getting rid of my scale, and swearing off commenting on anyone else’s body, there are 7 things I’ve done for my body image that helped more than I ever imagined they would… Here they are, incase they inspire anybody else to foster more body-positivity in themselves!

Got a bunch of tattoos

I have 7 tattoos, and each of them have pretty drastically changed my view of my body for the better. I’ve always admired the aesthetic of tattoos, so getting them has made me look more like the types of people I find hot – and it’s also hard not to love my body now that it’s got beautiful, bespoke works of art all over it! (Some people would disagree, but those people are wrong, and also, who cares what they think?!)

When I was younger, I used to dread the moment clothing would come off during sex with a new person, because I worried they’d judge my body harshly. But ever since getting my tattoos – especially the pink “good girl” bows on the backs of my thighs – I sometimes even look forward to that moment, because people are often delighted to discover the tattoos hidden under my clothes!

Dated people who fetishize the body parts I’m insecure about

They say you gotta love yourself before you can love anybody else, and maybe that’s true – but I know that I largely learned to love my ass by dating butt enthusiasts! I’ve never had huge boobs or any other particularly remarkable bodily features (at least in my view), but apparently my ass is notable enough that more than one devout butt appreciator wanted to date me. So that’s pretty cool. Helps a lot when they bury their face in it like a starving person at a pie-eating contest, too…!

Appreciated the things my body can do

Positive re-frame alert! I might not look like a runway model, but I can still strut down the street in a cool outfit. I may not have a big booty, but I can still dance to Sir Mix-A-Lot. I’m no hyper-athletic porn star or BBW sex doll, but I can still get fucked like a champ. Every human body is a miracle, whether or not it’s considered conventionally hot.

Took improv classes/performed in improv shows

On the note of appreciating what my body can do: it can make up scenes and songs on the spot, apparently, which is pretty fuckin’ impressive no matter what I happen to look like! (The brain is technically part of the body, after all… and without a body, none of my brain’s ideas could be expressed on stage or anywhere else!) It’s also nice to spend time in a community where someone’s dress size doesn’t matter anywhere near as much as their ability to crack jokes and roll with the punches.

Further: when I’m on stage, I barely think about my body. I don’t think about my aches and pains or my butt cellulite; there just isn’t enough spare time or mental energy for that shit. Improv’s fuckin’ meditative, dude. Big recommend!

Got a great body lotion

Simple yet effective: Get yourself a luscious moisturizer with a scent that makes your heart happy (or unscented if you prefer, dear chemically sensitive babes), and apply it liberally when you’re fresh out of the shower. This helps lock in moisture better, and also makes your regular workaday shower feel like a self-care ritual. I’ve been digging the “Vanilla Cashmere” lotion by EOS, which makes me smell like a slutty cupcake (ideal, obviously).

Invested in cuter loungewear

It’s hard to feel stoked about your body when you’re wearing a decade-old faded band T-shirt and baggy threadbare pajama pants. (I mean, for me it certainly would be. I don’t know your life!) Since I’m chronically ill, I spend a lot of my waking hours in PJs or loungewear, so I keep a perpetual eye out for pieces that are both comfy and cute, and wearing them makes a big difference in my day-to-day self-esteem.

Did psychedelics

Now, to be fair, some people find these more anxiety-provoking than soul-healing… but for me, during the half-dozen shrooms trips I’ve done, I’ve basically forgotten my body existed for the duration of the day. And I mean that in the most positive sense. Sometimes I would put on a kids’ movie from my youth, like A Bug’s Life or The Aristocats, and take extensive notes on the life lessons that seemed to leap out at me. I would get so absorbed in this task, and the ensuing self-reflection, that I totally forgot to worry about my body’s imperfections – all I could think about was the beautiful vastness of the universe, and my tiny-but-important role in it. Drugs rule, man.

Dear readers, have any of these strategies helped you love your body more? What else has worked well for you? Feel free to let me know in the comments!

This post contains sponsored links. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Body “Imperfections” Are Part of What Makes Sex Hot

January 19, 2024January 19, 2024Kate Sloan

Content note: body image, internalized fatphobia, etc.

When I was younger, I was often horribly self-conscious about how I looked during sex. I’m sure many of you can relate.

I was terrified of my belly or thighs looking “too chubby” during sex, and paranoid about certain angles emphasizing a double chin. I fretted about lighting, preferring to be seen as little as possible during the act. I shaved almost every part of my body, very carefully, before every date that I thought might end in sex – and if I later noticed a patch of hair I’d missed, I felt deeply embarrassed about it, like my sexual partner du jour would definitely have noticed this oversight and would have thus judged me as having failed at femininity.

I know a lot of people feel this way, especially women. Porn is often blamed for the high standards we hold ourselves to, but I think the entire media apparatus is really at fault here – from women’s magazines that rate celebrities’ “beach bodies,” to airbrushed and gorgeously-lit sex scenes in movies and TV. There’s a lot of messaging out there which seems to suggest that only conventionally attractive people deserve sex (a standard that often ends up being fatphobic, racist, transphobic, and ableist in its execution). It’s no wonder so many of us are nervous about being seen naked.

And sure, not all of us have Kardashian curves, a J. Lo butt, or Emma Hix feet, but it ultimately doesn’t matter, because imperfections are part of what make sex feel so exciting, so raw, so human.

I love tracing my fingers along a partner’s body and feeling their softness, moles, hairs. I love being able to kiss and compliment parts of a partner’s body that they’ve felt insecure or uncertain about. I love feeling someone relax when they truly absorb the idea that they are safe – that I’m not going to make some snide comment about their shape, or criticize their grooming habits, or walk out in disgust. And I also love when partners take the time to ensure that I, too, can relax in that way. Relaxation is really important for arousal – read Emily Nagoski’s excellent book Come As You Are for more on why stress is the ultimate libido-killer – so anything we can do to help each other chill out will make the ensuing sex much better for everyone involved.

I may not be able to erase all your insecurities in one fell swoop (trust me, I wish I could!), but I do want to offer some actionable advice for those of you who are often distracted and derailed by bad body image thoughts during sex. Here goes…

Ask for the reassurance you need. This is easier to do with established partners than new or one-off partners, but it can be really helpful either way. Try saying something like, “Hey, I’m feeling kind of self-conscious about my [belly/thighs/hips/etc.] today – can you give them a little extra love?” I have been lucky enough to have several partners who would take this kind of request as an opportunity to convey their desire for me both verbally and physically (e.g. by kissing the area[s] in question), which has really helped me.

Reflect on how you feel about your partner’s body (or how you have felt about past partners’ bodies). Odds are good you weren’t obsessively cataloguing and judging their every flaw. In fact, in many cases their so-called “flaws” may have been super hot to you. Well, other people may feel that way about your body, too!

Wear something you feel sexy in. There’s no rule that says you have to get naked whenever you have sex. There’s lots of hot lingerie and loungewear out there, for instance, that you can easily wear while fucking (although you may need to get creative in order to do so, like by pulling the gusset of your underwear to the side). In some cases this can be even hotter than being naked!

Consume different media if your current “media diet” contains a lot of conventionally perfect bodies, which, odds are, it does. Seek out porn and other sexy media from creators whose bodies look more like yours. Over time, this can shift the way you see your own body.

Seek therapy if you can. You deserve a life of wild, unabashed joy, in and out of the bedroom, and unpacking your body image issues with a professional might just be the way to achieve that. I know it’s helped me a lot.

Have you ever struggled with body insecurities during sex? How do you deal with it?

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Sharing the Sexy #26

July 27, 2013January 6, 2017Kate Sloan

• Photographs of fucking machines!

• Vaguely relevant things I fell in love with on Etsy this week: super cute reusable menstrual pads and feminist-themed knitwear.

• 5 bad things men learn from porn.

• A review of an electro-sex urethral probe. Not for the faint of heart, but certainly interesting!

• This photographer is putting together a body-positive book about vulvas and needs your donations to make it happen.

• Here are 30 eye-opening examples of cisgender privilege.

• This study found that 30% of men are threatened by vibrators. (The article acts like that’s not a lot, but frankly, it’s way more than it should be.)

• The man with the smallest penis in Brooklyn talks about media influence, body confidence, and why he entered a small penis contest.

• Have you ever had an orgasm while exercising?