Review: Happy Valley Joe Rock

I’m kind of unhealthily in love with Happy Valley. Essentially the Canadian answer to Tantus, they make 100% silicone toys for butts and twats. My very first anal toy was by Happy Valley, and it has served me very well.

Despite all this, sadly, their Joe Rock plug just didn’t work out for me. In fact, I may have thrown the word “hate” around when I was tweeting about my experience with this toy. And “hate” isn’t a word I use lightly, especially in reference to sex toys.

I chose the Joe for a number of reasons: it’s Happy Valley, it comes in a bright shade of blue (my favorite), it’s a manageable 1 ¼" in girth (bigger than my beginner plug, but not as big as the bulbous Ryder), and it has a slightly tapered shape that makes it look easy to insert.

I was all too excited to receive my Joe Rock. I thought it would be “the next big thing” in my anal adventures, small enough to slip in without warm-up and wear around town, but large enough to feel filling. Let me tell you, the size of the Joe is utterly perfect for me; it’s the shape and material that my butt takes issue with.

First off, the body of the plug feels long and pointy inside me. It’s not as long as the Ryder, but because Happy Valley silicone is firmer than Tantus silicone, it feels like more of an assault on my ass. I don’t like having to be careful when I sit down so as not to bruise my innards.

Secondly, the Joe’s neck is a big issue. It looks slim and comfy in photos, but since the silicone is so firm, it doesn’t feel that way in use. My sphincter can grip it, and the plug stays in well enough, but the neck is so uncomfortable on my anal opening. Rather than noticing the delicious fullness of the plug itself, I’m constantly distracted by the feeling of the neck dangling awkwardly out of my ass.

The base is also weird. It’s a thick rectangle that certainly keeps Joe from being sucked up into my ass, but torments my buttcheeks the whole time I’m wearing it. I’m afraid to wear Joe out on the town because I know my ass will start chafing and I’ll be miserable. This is not a good plug for long-term wear.

Even for short-term use, though, this plug is insufferable. So I’m still on the hunt for my perfect plug – easy to insert without pre-stretching, maybe 1 ¼" in girth, thin neck, solid but comfy base. The medium Pure Plug looks like a good contender; I guess I’ll have to wait and find out.

I bought the Joe Rock plug with my own affiliate earnings, and was not required to review it – but hey, I did anyway!

My First Giveaway: Blossom Organics and Happy Valley!

I’ve been blogging here at Girly Juice for almost two months so far. I’ve come to really enjoy writing sex toy reviews and retellings of my own silly sexploits. And as a way of thanking those of you who take the time to read what I write, I’ve partnered up with two very generous and sexy companies – Blossom Organics and Happy Valley – to give away some items that I really believe in.

Blossom Organics (products provided by Sexy Living) makes a line of lubricants, gels, oils, and creams that are all designed by women and totally vagina-friendly. They are the creators of my all-time favorite lube, which stays on my bedside table at all times. Their products were originally introduced to me by Kim at Red Tent Sisters and I’ve never loved any other lube as much since. Up for grabs from Blossom: Natural Moisturizing Lubricant (best ever – it’s just viscous enough, pH-balanced and won’t give you yeasties or make your ladybits burn!), Warm Sensation Moisturizing Lubricant (same formulation as their original lube, but with some magically tingly ingredients), and Pure Pleasure Arousal Gel (some minty awesomeness to wake up your clit).

Happy Valley makes all their body-safe, silicone toys in their farmhouse in Peterborough, Ontario. Their Pleasure Plug #1 was my very first anal toy, and it’s still my butt’s favorite warm-up playmate to this day. Up for grabs from Happy Valley: two beautiful, vibe-compatible, silicone butt plugs – the Hero (4" long, 1 3/8" wide) and the Whirl (3 ½" long, 1 1/8" wide).

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