Make Love, Not Porn

I received a beta invitation to MakeLoveNotPorn.TV under false pretences. I’m sorry, Cindy! I promised I would submit a video of myself jerking off with various toys if I got fast-tracked up the invitation list, but as it turns out, the website isn’t equipped yet to receive submissions from countries outside of the U.S. (and I live in Canada). Such a bummer! Oh well. Someday…

For those of you who don’t know, MakeLoveNotPorn.TV is an awesome not-yet-totally-launched website created by advertising guru and sex education enthusiast Cindy Gallop. It’s the logical next step after she launched MakeLoveNotPorn.com a few years back.

Just to be clear: the websites and their creators are not anti-porn. They are “pro-sex, pro-porn and pro-knowing the difference.” Their message is simple and yet huge: people shouldn’t learn how to have sex from watching hardcore pornography. Maybe that sounds obvious to you, but you’d be surprised how many people have no other way of learning about sex, since we live in a culture where sex ed is condemned and porn is fucking everywhere.

MakeLoveNotPorn.TV is sort of like Facebook meets YouTube, except it’s sex-focused. Cindy Gallop says she wants to make sex as socially acceptable and socially shareable as all those other relationship milestones we write about on our social media outlets. You know your friend who just posted all her wedding photos on Facebook? Well, what if she could share her sex life in the same way she shares her romantic life?

Contributors are encouraged to film themselves having “real-world sex”: organic, authentic, potentially even goofy. Unlike porn, the stars of the clips don’t “perform for the camera,” but instead, they focus on their partner(s) and the sex they’re having, just like they would if there was no camera in sight.

Each contribution must be accompanied by a $5 curation fee. This helps to cover the costs of running the site. If your video is accepted, it’s then published in the new edition that comes out every Wednesday, and people can “rent” it for $5. When they rent it, they can watch it as many times as they want for the next three weeks. Of the $5 they paid to rent your video, $2.50 goes to you, the contributor, and the other $2.50 goes to the website.

You might think that doesn’t sound very lucrative, and you’re right, it isn’t. But it’s fair, it’s better than nothing, and it’s part of a super fun and exciting social network. You can make friends, consensually spy on real people’s sex lives, chat about sex, and be as anonymous or upfront as you want.

And, as it turns out, you can also watch Danny Wylde have real-world sex.

I’ll be honest: this is mainly what enticed me about MLNP. The promotional materials declared that porn star Danny Wylde (who happens to be my favorite male porn performer, because he’s hot, eats pussy like a champ, and has an intact dick) had submitted a video of himself and his real-life girlfriend Lily LaBeau (also a porn star) gettin’ it on. Not in a performative, porn-set situation, but as if they were just doing it for themselves.

It is a tasty clip. Lily reveals in the behind-the-scenes footage that her vag often gets sore from how many porn scenes she shoots, so her real-world sex with Danny in this video is all about her ass. I’m not usually the hugest fan of anal sex in porn, but this clip sold me on it. Plus, Danny rims Lily. Uh, more dudes need to rim ladies in porn, because it’s hot.

My rental of the Danny/Lily clip is going to run out soon-ish, and after that, I’ll look for something else. Maybe some amateur pussy-eating. Whatever I end up choosing, I’m very damn appreciative that something like MakeLoveNotPorn.TV exists, because erotic performers need more fair compensation and everyday sex needs more recognition. Can I get an amen?!

Sharing the Sexy #8

• Caitlin K. Roberts (creator of Body Pride, doer of sexy things) wrote about arousal and fantasies from a psychological standpoint. Interesting stuff. What are your most disturbing, fucked-up fantasies that you would never want to act on?

• I love a good sexual phobia round-up. So glad I don’t have eurotophobia – it would make my job so hard to do!

• A polyamory-focused blogger I’ve been reading for a while, “K” of Taken But Available, announced she’s calling it quits because polyamory doesn’t work for her after all. She also dropped the pseudonym and disclosed her identity. Brave lady! I wish her the best of luck with her newfound monogamy.

• Rachel Rabbit White profiled a sexual psychic and attended an edgeplay seminar. (Trigger warning: the edgeplay article contains mentions and descriptions of consensual “rape play.”)

• A video series called Hysterical Literature shows women reading from books while an offscreen vibrator is being used on them. Reminds me of Beautiful Agony, but with a literary bent. Hot!

• I really think you need to know about MakeLoveNotPorn.TV. It’s my informed opinion that this is the future of the porn industry: real amateur porn, or as Cindy Gallop calls it, “real-world sex,” bought and sold using a revenue-sharing model. Listen to Cindy discussing the project with Dan Savage and then get thee to the website to request an invitation to the beta. I’m not in yet, but I have zero doubts about the eventual epicness of this project. Get in on the ground floor!