Review: Dame Kip

Dame is an interesting company, from the perspectives of sex toy design, marketing, and even feminism. They made waves earlier this year when they sued New York’s public transit system for refusing to let them hock their wares in subway ads, despite the MTA previously running ads for erectile dysfunction pills. Dame decried the company’s sexism, sex-negativity, and suppression of free speech. In the end, even if the MTA hampered Dame’s sales by limiting their publicity venues, the toymakers recouped some of that publicity by launching this very public lawsuit. The media largely painted them as feminist heroes, fighting against patriarchs and puritans.

Whether or not that’s totally true – I have a hard time accepting that corporations, mired in destructive capitalism as they are, can truly be said to be ethical no matter their values – Dame is certainly doing some interesting things. Their marketing is colorful and friendly-looking, as are their toys. I hated their first release, the bug-like Eva, because it refused to stay put and its buzzy motor annoyed my clit, but Dame took customer feedback into account and got to work making more effectual toys. Now their lineup is wider, cuter, and better than ever.

The toy of theirs I chose to review, when offered, was the lemon-yellow Kip, a clitoral vibrator that fits neatly in the palm of your hand. With its flat, tilted tip, it reminded me of the We-Vibe Tango, one of the best clit vibes ever created. I was interested to see whether Dame’s newer offerings could push them into the top tier of toymakers, adored and coveted alongside the likes of Fun Factory and Lelo. Astonishingly, based on this toy, I think they are well on their way.

The Kip immediately sets itself apart from most high-end clitoral vibes currently on the market, by a) being bright yellow and b) having both an “increase speed” button and a “decrease speed” button. I admire Dame’s bravery in creating a toy in a color outside the standard ones for “women’s” sex toys; any departure from staid pinks and purples in the sex toy industry is much-appreciated. The buttons, however, have actual functional importance. They let you adjust the toy’s vibrations more specifically and intuitively than vibes that have only one button for cycling through all their modes, like the Tango. Since I tend to move up and down in vibration speed several times in any given session, this feature is crucial for me, and often a major strike against toys that lack it.

The shape of the vibe, too, is rather unique. While it does have the flat, pointed tip I associate with the Tango, on the Kip it’s not so much flat as ever-so-slightly concave, allowing it to gently cup your clit. The pointed edge has some softness and squish to it, so that during use, it flutters back and forth like a tiny tongue. What with all the different surfaces and edges on this toy, and the way its vibrations are distributed, it’s very versatile and can please people who like pinpoint clit stimulation as well as something a little broader.

In my hand, the Kip feels substantial enough to seem well-built and high-quality, but light and slight enough to fit easily into my hand during sex or my handbag for sexy outings. It charges magnetically and holds its charge for several sessions. It can stand upright on my nightstand and looks great doing so.

But let’s talk about the motor, since that’s what really matters in a vibrator. The Kip’s motor is wonderful. It rumbles and thrums. It’s satisfying at each of the toy’s 5 steady speeds (I use all 5 regularly). It’s not quite Tango-level, and it can’t exactly compete with your jackhammer-esque wands, but for a vibe of its size and price point ($85!), it’s entirely respectable. Dame came to play, y’all.

It’s even fairly quiet, at least on the bottom three speeds. The top two would likely arouse suspicion if someone else was in the room with you, but certainly couldn’t be heard through a door like many other vibes of this strength.

So here’s the thing: the Tango is only $79, six dollars less than the Kip. If you’re deciding which one of these two toys to buy – which you might reasonably do, given their similarities in quality, size, shape, and price point – you should make your decision based on two key factors: vibrations, and ease of use. The Tango tops out with stronger vibrations than the Kip – but the Kip’s speeds remain consistently rumbly, while the Tango starts to get a little buzzier on its highest speed. As for ease of use, the Tango’s one and only button must be used to cycle through all eight of its patterns and speeds every time you want to switch to a different one, while the Kip’s vibrations can be adjusted much more easily via its up and down buttons.

There are other factors too, of course: the Tango will fit into other toys that have a slot for bullet-sized vibes, while the Kip will not; the Kip has a travel lock, which the Tango does not; the Tango’s tip is narrower and marginally firmer; the Tango’s battery is known to die after a while (I’ve heard anywhere from 1-3 years; mine have typically lasted about 2 years each), while I’ve heard no such rumors about the Kip (yet). It’s a very close call, and honestly I don’t know that I have a strong opinion either way. I’m likely to use both of these vibrators regularly for as long as I own them (and as long as they remain functional).

I hope the MTA finally lets Dame advertise their toys, because more people need to know about the Kip.

 

Thanks to Dame for sending me this vibe to review!

Mini Reviews: We-Vibe Gala, FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet, & Sensuelle Point

My “toys to review” pile runneth over at the moment, so I thought I’d bunch a few together… Here are 3 clitoral vibes I have some Opinions about!

We-Vibe Gala (available at SheVibe)

We-Vibe sent me this at my request, because, from the moment I saw it, I desperately wanted it on my clit. It has a two-pronged, bunny-ears-esque shape reminiscent of the Jimmyjane Form 2, which I liked, as a person with a very sensitive clit that can’t handle direct stimulation most of the time. Having the option to surround my clit with vibration, rather than attack it head-on, always piques my interest.

I will say, it’s weird that the famously litigious We-Vibe blatantly ripped off a toy design from Jimmyjane. You would think they’d have picked up some anti-plagiarism scruples at some point while they were suing other companies for stealing their innovative couples’ toy design. But I digress…

I like the Gala’s motor better than the Form 2’s; it’s rumblier and stronger, but not by much. We-Vibe didn’t use their mind-blowing Tango motor in this toy, as far as I can tell, and that seems like a mistake: the sides and shaft of my clit appreciate rumbly vibration even more than the head does. I can get off with this vibe, but it takes a while, and I always reach a point where I’m like, “Seriously? I’m at the highest setting already?”

On the plus side, this vibe optionally pairs with the We-Connect app, so you can control and customize the vibrations more precisely than the toy’s buttons allow for. You can even use the app to create a mode much like my favorite setting on the Form 2, where the vibrations flicked back and forth quickly between the vibe’s two ears, feeling a little like a skilled lover’s tongue. Neat!

Unfortunately, it’s hard for me to take advantage of the Gala’s unique shape because the space between the ears is just slightly too small for my (average-sized) clit, especially as I get more turned on. I was explaining this problem to my boyfriend and said, “I can get it in there if I really kind of, like…” and he supplied, “Jam it in there?” which is exactly the right phrasing. I should not have to jam my genitals into a toy to make it work. It’s not painful, exactly – just slightly uncomfortable and annoying – but that’s enough to put me off using this toy most of the time. This could’ve been fixed by making the space between the ears slightly bigger or by making the ears more flexible. Better luck next time, We-Vibe.

FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet (available at Spectrum Boutique)

I tried this for the first time while on the phone with my boyfriend, and after listening to me using the FemmeFunn bullet and the Sensuelle Point bullet (see below), he correctly observed that I definitely prefer the FemmeFunn. (Dating attentive nerds is fun, y’all.)

I requested this vibe from Spectrum Boutique because my friend Bex had often mentioned it was a surprisingly strong and rumbly bullet for its price point. It’s half the price of the Tango and more-or-less matches it in strength and rumbliness, amazingly. Plus it’s cute as hell: I can’t resist anything turquoise and pink, try as I might.

I don’t like the way it charges: you have to jab the pointy end of a cable through a hole on the base of the toy and blindly hope you’re doing it right and aren’t breaking the toy. Can we do away with toys that charge this way, please, now that it’s 2018 and we have better technologies available to us?

This bullet’s slight flexibility makes it comfortable to use internally, if you don’t mind your penetrative objects being small. However, because the toy bends so easily, it’s also hard to put pressure on my clit with it, so if you like to press vibes into yourself, this might not be the best choice.

I still lean toward my Tango because the FemmeFunn’s squishy silicone makes it conduct vibration slightly less well than the Tango’s hard plastic, and because it’s much more annoying to scroll through the FemmeFunn’s 20 (!) settings than the Tango’s 8. But for its price and its size, this is a remarkably powerful and pleasurable vibe, and definitely my fave of the three highlighted in this post.

Sensuelle Point (available at Spectrum Boutique)

This is resoundingly my least favorite of the bunch, which surprised me, as I’d heard good things about it. It’s a simple, larger-than-standard-size bullet vibe, along the lines of the Tango or the VeDO Bam. However, it’s buzzier than either of those, slightly desensitizing both my clit and my hand after just a couple minutes.

The Point has 20 different speeds and patterns, but they don’t vary much in intensity, so I can’t get the boost in power I need once I’m getting close to orgasm. This toy feels too intense when I begin using it and not intense enough once I’ve been using it for a few minutes. Bummer.

That said, it’s a solidly constructed rechargeable at a reasonable price point ($55) and is made of smooth, luxurious, matte silicone that’s easy to clean. I’d still overall recommend you grab the cheaper-and-better FemmeFunn bullet instead, though, or spend a little more and get a Tango.

Thanks to We-Vibe and Spectrum Boutique for sending me these products to review!

Review: Zumio

Immediately after trying the Zumio for the first time, I texted the person I was dating, “This thing is intense. I think it would be good for a forced-orgasm scene.”

“Oh yeah?” he replied, and my fate was sealed.

The reason this idea occurred to me is that the Zumio feels like it’s inducing not-entirely-voluntary orgasms even when I use it by myself. It’s like stepping into a shower that’s just a little too hot, getting close to static electricity without being zapped, running just a little faster than your lungs can handle because it’s exhilarating. It’s pleasure that’s just slightly uncomfortable.

Let me clarify. If I was to hold the Zumio’s extremely pinpointed tip directly on my exposed clit, it would certainly be uncomfortable. I know because I’ve tried. This toy oscillates rather than vibrating, much like my beloved Eroscillator, but unlike the Eroscillator, all the oscillation is focused into a tiny, hard tip. It is not cushioned, diluted, or spread out at all. You will only like the Zumio if you like your clitoral stimulation very focused and very intense.

This is why I wanted a partner to use it in a forced-orgasm scene. Giving him control of this toy was an act of pure, deep trust. That’s exactly the shit I love most about kink.

Knowing my tastes, and how ridiculously sensitive and picky my clit is, he held the Zumio lengthwise so its oscillating shaft just barely grazed the side of my clit through one inner labia. He kept it on the lowest speed. That was enough, honestly. Paired with a great dildo stroking my A-spot, this thing got me off in less than ten minutes – a feat for me when it comes to partnered sex.

Image via MyZumio.com

The timeframe is worth noting, because Zumio first entered the consciousness of many sex toy reviewers by making the ostentatious claim that it can make you come in 60 seconds. I hate this prescriptive nonsense – it makes slow masturbators feel broken and fast masturbators feel rushed – so I put it to the test. The Zumio has pretty reliably gotten me off in 10-15 minutes each time I’ve used it, making it slightly slower at this than many of my other clitoral toys. I think this is because it’s so stimulating that I often have to take breaks or back off for a while before I can ramp back up. I don’t have a problem with taking my time, but I do think it’s worth noting that there’s nothing wrong with your junk if Zumio’s ridiculous one-minute promise doesn’t hold true for you.

When using the Zumio solo, I prefer to apply it to my clit through panties. Used directly, it’s a little too intense for me, even on the lowest speed, especially toward the start of a session. As I get more turned on, sometimes I can handle a little more, but I’ve still never gone past the third speed out of eight.

As vibrators and oscillators go, the Zumio is quite quiet. It’s waterproof, and has a travel lock – both important features for me, a bath-lovin’ jetsetter. It recharges in a little plastic induction cup, which is easy to use but takes eighteen fucking hours (I leave mine in the cup between uses so I don’t have to worry about this silliness). The handle, happily, barely vibrates even when the tip is oscillatin’ up a storm.

I wish the handle design was more ergonomic. It’s designed so you can hold it between thumb and forefinger like a pen, but then you have to reach awkwardly far down the shaft to operate the buttons. This is sometimes a little tricky when the chronic joint pain in my wrists and knuckles is acting up, so often I end up pressing the buttons with my other hand, for which I have to momentarily abandon whatever other toy(s) I might be using. A small quibble, but one worth knowing about.

The main factors that will make or break this toy for you are the pinpoint tip and the intensity. You have to really love both of those qualities to love this toy. If you want something broader, get a Magic Wand. If you want something that has some lower speed options, get the Eroscillator. If you want a clit toy but you’re not sure you want to spend $140+ on it, get the We-Vibe Tango.

But if you absolutely must have a leg-shakingly, breath-catchingly, mild-discomfort-inducingly strong and pinpointed clitoral stimulator, get the Zumio. To my knowledge, there’s nothing else quite like it.

 

Thanks to Zumio for sending me their product to review! You can buy it at SheVibe ($140), Ignite ($140), and Peepshow ($140).

10 Reasons the We-Vibe Tango is (Still) My Favorite Clit Vibe

I’m moving to a new home next week, and while I’ve packed up almost all the sex toys I’m planning on bringing, there were a few items I just had to leave out incase I needed them sometime before leaving. Among this group of exceptional outliers is my duo of We-Vibe Tango vibrators.

I got my first Tango just over five years ago, and it was love at first orgasm. I’ve owned a total of four Tangos in my masturbatory career – due to, it must be said, these toys’ one major flaw, their less-than-stellar battery that tends to give out after 2-3 years. But the Tango is one of those rare toys that I’m happy to keep re-buying every few years if I have to. The orgasms it provides are so deep, delicious, and consistent that they’re worth shelling out for.

Here are the 10 biggest reasons the Tango remains a bedside staple of mine, all these years later…

It’s strong. Like, shockingly strong for such a small vibe. There are only a few other bullet-sized vibes this strong that I can think of: the Jopen Lust L2, Swan Wand Mini, ScreamingO Charged Vooom and VeDO Bam. There’s also We-Vibe’s other mini-vibe offering, the Touch, though it’s made of soft silicone instead of hard plastic so it doesn’t conduct vibration as well as the Tango. Suffice it to say, the Tango is easily one of the strongest vibrators you can get at this price point or this size.

It’s rumbly. This is a different consideration from vibration strength; it’s the quality of the vibrations. The Tango rumbles, thrums, pounds against your body; it does not cause near-instant numbness like buzzier vibes do. What’s remarkable about the Tango is that it remains rumbly even at its higher speeds. This is ultimately what makes the Tango indispensable to me: almost nothing else is this strong and this rumbly, and certainly nothing else of this size.

It’s small. The Tango is my most-used toy during partnered sex. This is partly because it’s one of my most-used toys overall, but also, it’s particularly well-suited to partner play because of its size. It slots easily between bodies during intercourse, can be tucked into a pocket or purse at a moment’s notice for a sex-date, and doesn’t get in the way if I’m pairing it with a dildo or a partner’s fingers.

It’s waterproof. As a diehard fan of the bathtime wank, this is an important consideration for me. What’s more, being underwater doesn’t seem to dampen the Tango’s vibrations much, if at all.

It’s rechargeable. This is pretty much a requirement for me; I don’t fuck with battery-powered vibes anymore if I can help it. The Tango’s finicky charger used to bug me, but a We-Vibe rep taught me a trick to make it easier to use, and now I have zero issues with it. Yay!

It has a versatile shape. I most often press the Tango’s flat tip against the right side of my clit, but there are tons of other ways to use it. You can play with the pointed tip or the broad rounded side; you can lay it against the whole length of your clit or just one specific spot. So many options!

It’s quiet. Particularly for a vibe this strong, the Tango is uncommonly quiet. It’s still audible, yeah, but it’s certainly no Le Wand.

It can be used in other toys: anything that has a hole/slot/sleeve for a bullet vibe. This includes, for example, some vibrating cock rings, butt plugs, harnesses, and dildos. Throw out the shitty, buzzy bullet that comes with these toys, and grab a Tango instead. It’s strong enough that you’ll be able to actually feel the vibrations through the toy.

It can be used hands-free. We-Vibe’s own Dusk attachment allows for hands-free orgasms, as Epiphora first chronicled in her review. Depending on your anatomy, you may also be able to pull off this neat trick I do sometimes: I can tuck the Tango between my outer and inner labia, and it’ll more-or-less stay put while I scroll through dirty fanfiction, click around porn sites, and so on. Magic!

Are you a fan of the We-Vibe Tango? Why or why not?

Review: Fun Factory Laya II

How does that saying go? “Be careful what you wish for; you might get a less-good version of it”? Yeah, something like that.

I tried the battery-powered Fun Factory LayaSpot back in 2013. In my review, I wrote: “The vibrations are too weak and surfacey to get me off… I really wish they would overhaul this vibe as a rechargeable, because I would buy the shit out of that.” Lo and behold, four years later, Fun Factory came out with the Laya II, a rechargeable upgrade on the LayaSpot.

This new model has the exact same shape and dimensions as its predecessor, so devotees of the classic will dig it. The Layas’ shape is one of the things I like best about them: the rounded tip can dig into my clit with the moderate pressure I like, and is broad enough to cover the whole head of my clit but pinpoint enough to stimulate only where I want it. It feels comfortable in my hand, which wraps around it ergonomically such that my index finger can rest over the controls. It’s really quite a well-designed vibrator, shape-wise.

Motor-wise, though, not so much. The reason I wanted a rechargeable version of this toy is that Fun Factory is known for their fantastic rechargeable motors. Their other rechargeables, like the G4 Patchy Paul and G5 Big Boss, are remarkably strong and rumbly – but they’re all big enough to be used internally, and I wanted a li’l clitoral vibe, since I use vibrators externally almost exclusively. The Laya II does not have the signature bomb-ass Fun Factory motor; it has, instead, something weaker, buzzier, and disappointing.

It’s possible they did this because of size constraints – you can’t fit the same mechanics into something little like the Laya II that you could fit into a bigger, penetrative vibe – but other companies have managed to make powerful, rumbly clit vibes. (The We-Vibe Tango, VeDO Bam, and Swan Wand Mini come to mind.) I believed that if anyone could make the next truly great clit vibe, the one that would rival the Tango at long last, it would be Fun Factory. I’m kind of bummed that that isn’t the case.

Don’t get me wrong: the Laya II’s motor is fine. It can get me off. I’d rate it as a 6 out of 10 on the buzzy-to-rumbly scale – not awful, but not my favorite. And any level of buzziness grates on me these days, frankly. Like my friend Epiphora says about rumbly vibes: “My clit perks up, longing for orgasm, becoming an active participant in the process. Using a buzzier vibe, my arousal level is more stagnant, less dynamic, and the masturbatory experience is just not as fun.” The Laya II’s vibrations feel great for a couple minutes, but then their buzziness numbs my clit, so I have to move the vibe around, thrust my accompanying dildo faster, and/or crank the power. That buzzy quality would be understandable in a $50 battery-operated vibe like the LayaSpot; it’s less reasonable in a $120 rechargeable like the Laya II.

These vibrations are also loud. They make a high-pitched, jangly clattering noise that reminds me simultaneously of bees and snakes. And they numb my hand. Like it’s been stung and/or bitten by a bee and/or a snake.

To add insult to injury, the Laya II has a super unintuitive controls scheme whereby hitting the “plus” button again after the third steady speed turns the toy to a vibration pattern. This has tripped me up multiple times: I keep thinking I can increase the vibration speed further (because my clit’s so numb that I need mega-powered vibrations at that point), but then accidentally switching to a pattern and fucking up my impending orgasm. Aaaargh!

It’s just so frustrating that Fun Factory put such a sad motor in a toy as otherwise lovely as the Laya II. It makes me want to crack this vibe open and replace its motor with one from the We-Vibe Tango. You know, if I knew a damn thing about electronics and could do that. Which, alas, I don’t and can’t.

 

Thank you so much to Fun Factory for sending me this toy to review! You can shop their toys at SheVibe, Peepshow, and Come As You Are.