Review: Lelo Bridal Pleasure Set

I am certainly not the prime candidate for owning a Lelo Bridal Pleasure Set, being unmarried and having no plans whatsoever on changing that in the foreseeable future. But some part of me still wanted one, because let’s face it – Lelo is one of the titans of the sex toy industry, and this set is gorgeous as hell.

Heads up: this won’t be a standard sex toy review. Normally I wouldn’t put too much stock into how a product looks and how the company has presented and packaged it, but seeing as the Bridal Pleasure Set is intended to be a wedding gift, that stuff matters. You’ve been warned!

This set contains three items for newlyweds to use together: a blindfold, a “teaser ring,” and the Noa couples’ vibrator. I’ll talk about each item one by one.

First, the blindfold. When I first unpacked my Bridal Pleasure Set, this was the product that impressed me most, because it’s beautiful: it boasts pure silk ties, a softly cushioned eye area, and suede with pearl detailing.

Unfortunately, when I actually tried it, I was not nearly as impressed. This is one of those products that makes me wonder if the company actually tested it on real live humans before releasing it. The silk ties are so slippery that they are almost impossible to tie in an appropriately tight bow – I had to enlist my boyfriend to help me, and even then, it was difficult. Once the blindfold is on, it’s apt to slip off during your sex session, again because of those damn silky ties.

It also doesn’t do a great job of blocking out light in the nose area (though I have a large-ish schnoz, so your mileage may vary). I will say, however, that it is a hell of a lot more comfortable than the Intima blindfold that came with my Adore Me set.

Next up: the teaser ring. I didn’t know what to make of this thing when I saw pictures of it online. “Is it supposed to go on the penis?” I wondered. I still wasn’t sure when I received the set, but then I consulted Lelo’s illustrated “lovers’ guide” (included in the box) and saw that it is meant to be worn on the finger.

The “ring” part of the teaser ring has wire inside it, so it can be bent to fit practically any finger, regardless of size. Once it’s on, the “teaser” part (a group of long suede strings, sort of like what you’d see on a flogger) can be used to stroke and tickle your partner’s body.

Combined with the blindfold, this is actually mildly pleasant. And to the teaser ring’s credit, it can double as a small flogger if your partner has enough wrist strength to use it that way (a friend of mine did just that, when we made the drunken decision to test out my various spanking implements on one another one night). However, I feel it might’ve been a better use of space to include a more conventional sensory-play toy – like maybe a feather tickler, or even something more extreme like a pair of handcuffs. I know they were hoping to evoke matrimonial imagery with this “ring,” but it’s just not that exciting.

The main event of the set is Noa, a couples’ vibe. The Noa is a slightly reimagined and updated version of the Tiani, which I previously tried and wasn’t that thrilled with. Here’s a rundown of the key differences: Noa’s vaginal arm is wider and flatter, making it more comfortable and less pokey for both partners; Noa is stronger and rumblier than the original Tiani (though apparently still a hair weaker than the Tiani 2); Noa comes with a USB charging cable instead of a standard plug-into-the-wall charger; and Noa doesn’t come with a SenseMotion remote (which also means that it’s cheaper).

If you happen to have a SenseMotion remote from another Lelo toy, you can connect it to the Noa wirelessly and it will work. If you don’t, though, you can still control the toy’s functions by just pressing the button on the toy itself.

I really, really like the Noa’s vibrations. As I mentioned, they feel stronger and deeper than those of my Tiani, and I also think they’re stronger (or at least less numbing) than those of the other couples’ vibes I’ve tried, the FixSation and We-Vibe 3. The Noa is the only vibe of its kind that has actually been able to get me off, as I gleefully tweeted right after it first happened. I didn’t have to use my hands at all; I just slipped the vaginal arm inside me and my boyfriend started fucking me in missionary position with his pelvis putting some rhythmic pressure on mine to help the clitoral arm do its job. I haven’t made use of any of Noa’s various pulsating and rollercoaster-ing patterns during sex, but it does have some good ones.

My boyfriend reports that he, too, prefers the Noa to the We-Vibe; Noa’s vibrations actually felt good for him, rather than distracting or annoying. He also likes that the bottom of Noa’s vaginal arm is slightly indented to make room for his penis; this vibe is definitely the most comfortable couples’ vibe we’ve tried, for both of us.

As you might expect, the presentation of the Bridal Pleasure Set is impeccable. It comes in a lovely ivory box with a magnetic closure. When you first open it up, all the “ugly” items (e.g. the charging wire and warranty card) are tucked away, so all you see is the beautiful white pleasure objects. Included is a soft silky storage bag which fits the Noa; you could probably stuff the other two items in there if you didn’t mind crumpling them a bit.

One thing that worries me a little about this set is that it doesn’t come with an instruction booklet. The “lovers’ guide” just consists of a few images of a couple using the toys in various ways, accompanied by poetic text about love and marriage. Maybe I’m not giving beginners enough credit, but I feel that if someone was receiving their first vibrator ever as a wedding present, they’d probably want some information on how it works. But if you’re gifting this set to a couple with some vibrator experience, it may not be an issue.

The main problem with this set is that it costs $200. That’s pretty standard fare for a wedding gift, but I don’t know if the included items are worth that much. The Noa is great, but the other two pieces are mostly ineffectual and not that interesting. Silk and suede aren’t cheap, I know, but if you’re going to pay this much for a set, I still feel it should function fantastically instead of just looking beautiful.

So here’s my verdict: if you’ve got 200 clams to burn on a wedding present for a couple who’s open-minded and appreciates fine sexual and sensual pleasures, a couple advanced enough that they can use a vibrator without an instruction booklet but not so advanced that they’re going to be frustrated by an only semi-functional blindfold and a fairly goofy “teasing ring,” then sure, the Bridal Pleasure Set could be an impressive choice. For couples who are new to sex toys, or couples who would be annoyed by the kink-curious items in this set, maybe just get them the Noa on its own.

Many thanks to Lelo for supplying me with this set and for always being so good to me!

Review: We-Vibe 3

Ah, couples’ vibrators. Such a wonderful idea in theory, so often poorly executed in practice.

Prior to my latest attempt at enjoying a couples’ vibe, the We-Vibe 3, I had tried the Lelo Tiani and the FixSation, neither of which impressed me. Both weren’t strong enough to get me off, both had shitty remote strength, and both tended to numb me out so it was still hard to get off even after I’d switch to a different toy. Boooo.

The We-Vibe 3 is better, but hardly. It has all the same problems that every other couples’ vibe I’ve tried has had: not strong enough, not rumbly enough, and bad signal strength.

Let’s talk about vibrations. You’d think We-Vibe would know what they’re doing in this department, since their Tango is one of my all-time favorite vibes: amazingly strong and rumbly, with four different speeds to scroll through, plus some cool patterns. The We-Vibe 3 has the same patterns as the Tango, but only two speeds, which just doesn’t work for me. I need to “ramp it up” gradually over time, or I go numb way too fast or get overstimulated and have to back off.

The Tango’s vibrations range from 3000 to 4800 RPM (keeping in mind that a lower RPM means a rumblier, deeper vibration quality), whereas the We-Vibe 3’s vibrations are either 3000 or 5500, depending on what setting you’re on. This means that the highest speed is way buzzier than the Tango’s top speed, resulting in increased numbness and a very surface-level sensation.

Also, I don’t know what the deal is, but the silicone of the We-Vibe 3 just doesn’t conduct vibrations nearly as well as the hard plastic of the Tango. I know a lot of people are sex toy snobs and will pick silicone over plastic any day, but I think this is one situation in which plastic would’ve been the better choice. At least then I could feel all the vibrations this toy puts out.

As for the remote – like every sex toy remote I’ve tried, the We-Vibe’s remote (which is admittedly ergonomic, relatively discreet, and easy to grip) needs to be pointed directly at the toy in order to work, and it often needs at least two or three tries before anything happens. A fold of skin or segment of muscle in the way, like a labia or thigh, will tend to make the remote useless.

And as if you weren’t annoyed enough already, it only has one button, which cycles through the two speeds and four modes. This is true of the Tango as well, but of course, it’s much more irritating when each setting change takes a few presses and a precise angle to make it work.

But I don’t hate everything about the We-Vibe. Its shape is surprisingly comfortable and stable; it never pokes me in the vaginal wall or slides around, like the Lelo Tiani does. When the inner arm is lubed, my boyfriend’s average-sized penis can slide right in, and it doesn’t feel like my vagina is over-stuffed at all.

My boyfriend is a fan of the We-Vibe, for two main reasons: first, the vibrations distract him just enough that he can actually last longer when it’s on, and second, it works best when we’re pressed up tight against each other in missionary (which is his favorite way to have sex, because it’s so intimate).

It’s also completely waterproof (including the remote), and charges in a little dock via conduction (including the remote), which is pretty cool.

But I just can’t get on board with the We-Vibe 3. Its vibrations aren’t good enough. They’re surface-level, they’re weakened by the silicone they’re embedded in, and the sub-par remote frustrates me to no end. This toy does make sex feel better, but it can’t make me come, and that’s an issue for me.