dildo

5 Sex Toys I Covet For Their Weirdness

Kate Sloan

My sex toy wishlists are an eclectic amalgamation of awesome, good, and questionable. (You can click over to them using the links in my sidebar, if you want to take a look or even buy me something.) There are all sorts of materials (everything except jelly!), shapes, sizes, functions, intensities, volumes, companies, and levels of attractiveness. I thought I’d do a post to profile some of the weirder items on my wishlists, and the reasons I want them.

At first glance, the Vibratex Pixie Plus looks like any gross sex toy you could pull off a shelf at a low-end “novelty” sex shop – cheap, nubby, vaguely jelly-esque (don’t worry, it’s elastomer). But if you could turn it on, you’d see that the internal portion of the Pixie doesn’t vibrate – its tip strokes back and forth, like the famous “come hither” motion. Since most G-spots respond better to stroking than they do to vibration, I am all for dual-stimulation vibes with internal parts that do something interesting.

The Lelo Olga wins the award for most ridiculously luxe toy, because it’s just Ella made of stainless steel and given a price increase of approximately 700%. Despite what a silly purchase it’d be, I want it, because Ella’s neck was too bendy and couldn’t put enough pressure on my G-spot. Plus, you could use Olga to do your daily bicep curls.

Love To Love’s Oh Oui! is a hot pink vibrating banana. It makes me wonder if there is a fruit fetishist market within the sex toy industry. But I gotta say, it looks like it’d reach my G-spot efficiently, which is more than I can say for many toys.

I will one day have a Clone-a-Willy Kit. It turns out that my boyfriend’s cock is literally the perfect size for me – long enough to fill me up without hitting my cervix, wide enough to hit the right spots without stretching me apart – and I want a replica that I can use when I’m alone. For now, I’m lusting after the Mark O2 because it seems to have similar dimensions… but one day, I will want a real copy, and that is where Clone-a-Willy comes in.

There’s been much talk about the Sqweel, an oral sex simulator with ten fast-flapping tongues. Many reviewers say it’s messy, not stimulating enough, has seams you can feel, and gets in the way of any penetrative toys you might want to use in tandem with it. Still, something about it makes me want it. I’m a cunnilingus enthusiast 4 lyfe, and that is why I need a Sqweel, no matter how bad it is.

Review: Jollies Jollet

Kate Sloan

I was insanely excited to receive my package from Chavez Dezignz. As soon as I had opened it up and fondled this beautiful polka-dotted dildo in my hands, I updated my EdenFantasys status: “This week, my vagina will conquer the Jollies Jollet!”

I’m sad to report that it actually happened the other way around: the Jollet conquered my vagina.

My vag is on the smaller side of average. This is something I know, and have had to accept. I can take my boyfriend’s 6", average-girthed cock without pain or discomfort if it’s adequately lubed, and I can handle a dildo of a 1.5" diameter if I’m warmed up – but that’s about as far as I had gone, prior to the Jollet.

Jollies’ Jollet was designed from a mould of a vagina, so it’s made to fill up all the nooks and crannies inside a pussy, nestling there and staying in place. As such, it has a rather enormous bump (1.75") toward the end of the shaft that is meant to stimulate the G-spot when fully inserted. The Jollet also has a small, pointy end that can rub the cervix and surrounding area. I requested the Jollet because I like firm pressure on my G-spot and mild cervical stimulation, so it seemed like a good fit.

Tragically, it’s not a good fit at all. I’ve tried to use the Jollet on multiple occasions with no luck whatsoever.

This is how it usually goes: While watching porn and playing with my clit, I warm up with some other dildos, starting with a small one (Ella) and then moving to a larger one (Adam). Everything’s lubed and feeling good; I’m getting very turned on and can feel my G-spot crying out for more.

Then, I think, “Hey, maybe I’ll try the Jollet today.” I pull it out, drench it in lube, and slowly start to slide it in.

As the G-spot bump becomes parallel with my pubic bone, my pussy is overtaken by a sharp, burning pain. I tell myself, Just a little further, maybe it’ll slide in, and push it. It feels forced and agonizing. It feels like losing my virginity all over again.

After a few minutes of this, I can’t handle the pain anymore, so I remove the inch or two of the Jollet that I had managed to insert, wipe off the gallons of lube, and collapse into a pile of defeat and frustration.

If I was going to commission Chavez Dezignz to make a version of the Jollet just for me, I’d make a couple of small, but significant changes. I’d have them make the silicone squishier (currently it’s practically rock-hard, with no “give” to make insertion easier), and I’d reduce the diameter of the G-spot bump, even just by 0.1" or so. I think that would make all the difference for women with wimpy orifices like myself.

Other times that I’ve struggled with fitting a toy inside me, I wanted to work up to the challenge, because I felt like it was possible. Adam, for example, initially hurt a little, but its squishiness assured me that I’d be able to handle it if I spent more time on warm-up – and lo and behold, it’s still my favorite dildo for when I get into a “fill me up completely” kind of mood.

With the Jollet, it’s different. The challenge isn’t fun. It doesn’t encourage me to seek out the tricks I’ll need to get it to fit. I just don’t believe it ever will. It hurts like a motherfucker and drains all the arousal out of my pussy in one fell swoop.

It’s such a disappointment, because I really thought I would love the Jollet. Many of my favorite reviewers have raved about theirs. Plus, it’s polka-dotted, and looks so damn cute with my Candy Bullet wedged into the hole in the base. But it just doesn’t work for me.

I’m going to aim to write a follow-up review in a few months, if only because I feel it’s unfair to the toy and its makers for me to write it off based on my current vaginal prowess (practice makes perfect, after all). But for now, I can only recommend this toy for people who already know they’re comfortable taking toys 1.75" and wider, especially firm ones. Small-pussied gals like me will likely come to view the Jollet as an implement of agony.

Thanks to Chavez Dezignz for the opportunity to try out this super-cute toy! You can buy their products on their website or their Etsy shop.

Progress Report: G-Spot Orgasms (Revisited)

Kate Sloan

The last time we spoke about G-spot orgasms, I had only just started to experiment. I’d given a stack of towels a permanent home on my bed, and I’d invested in some highly-praised G-spotting toys. But I’d barely ventured into the world that is G-spot pleasure.

I’ve been playing with my G-spot a lot more lately, so I thought I’d give you a little update on how it’s going.

I was reading Deborah Sundahl’s squirting bible and she mentioned that some women find it easier to incorporate a steadily-lessening amount of clitoral stimulation over time, as they learn to master their G-spots. This idea sounded much easier and more appealing to me than just dropping clit stim cold-turkey in favor of concentrating on my G-spot.

Today, I started with my Amethyst, a favorite but oft-forgotten dildo of mine. It’s glass, and fairly skinny, so it requires little to no lube and is great for warm-up. Plus, when inserted, it makes a freaking bee-line for my G-spot, immediately triggering that need-to-pee sensation.

Normally I need a little clit play to get me going, but the Amethyst felt good right away. I wish it were always this easy to get started. (Maybe it would be if I always started with the Amethyst!)

After a while, my pussy started to crave something bigger. The small, tapered end of the Amethyst just wasn’t cutting it anymore, so I pulled out the Pure Wand. The G-spotter to end all G-spotters. A pound and a half of glorious steel.

Like glass, steel barely needs any lube – I just stuck the Wand’s larger end in my mouth for a second and that was enough to get it to slide in. My G-spot was pretty swollen and aroused at this point, so again, it felt good right away. I thrusted and rocked and tilted and manoeuvred. Good god, the Pure Wand knows what it’s doing.

After about 15 minutes of that, I started to feel a little stuck – like my arousal wasn’t progressing anymore. So I grabbed my Eroscillator, kitted out with the fingertip attachment, turned it to the lowest setting and held it on my clit while continuing to thrust the Pure Wand. I increased the speed of my thrusting, and a few times, I felt the glimmer of an oncoming orgasm somewhere in the distance, but it didn’t happen.

I should tell you that the Eroscillator’s lowest speed is not normally one that gets me off. I always click up to the second and third speeds to finish the job. While using it in tandem with the Pure Wand, I occasionally felt a momentary desire to increase the power of the oscillations, but when that happened, I knew it was only because I was focusing on my clit too much. Ms. Sundahl says achieving G-spot orgasm is about shifting your awareness from your clit to your urethral sponge, so I knew that’s what I had to do.

I left the Eroscillator buzzing at a low speed on my clit, while thrusting very fast with the Pure Wand. I focused all my mental energy on the way the big steel ball felt as it slid over my G-spot again and again. I revelled in that sensation, that unusual pleasure that I don’t typically encounter without the help of toys. And before very long, I came.

It wasn’t a full-on G-spot orgasm – I felt some of it in my clit, and was hypersensitive afterward in a very clitoral sort of way. But I definitely feel that I now know how to shift my orgasms into a deeper part of my pussy, at least somewhat… and that feels like an important step.

Review: Knotty Wood Arts dildos

Kate Sloan

Several weeks ago, I had the idea to ask various Etsy sellers if they’d like me to review some of their products. There are a lot of people making gorgeous sexual paraphernalia on Etsy – everything from leather floggers to glass butt plugs – and I love to support independent craftsters, so I thought it would be cool to do a series of reviews of handmade items here on Girly Juice.

Being mostly just normal people, rather than businessfolk, not all of the Etsians I contacted were totally professional. One insulted me for asking for “freebies.” One cut me down for writing a not-altogether-positive review of their product. One even made a feeble attempt at flirting with me. But the man behind Knotty Wood Arts was completely wonderful, helpful, and kind. Even if I didn’t like his toys, I’d still be singing his praises for the great customer service… but I love his toys, so I can sing their praises as well!

Knotty sent me three dildos to review. One was custom-made to my specifications – my first custom sex toy! – and it is perfect. I requested a ripply dildo, 1 ¼” wide and 6″ long (I have a pretty tiny vagina, so sometimes I wish all my dildos were this size). Drawings were exchanged, dimensions were discussed, and I felt absolutely cared for as a customer.

Naturally, the dildo that was designed specifically for me is definitely my favorite of the three, and indeed, now one of my favorite penetrative toys in my collection. It’s the perfect size for a warm-up dildo, helping me to transition seamlessly to a larger toy, if that’s what I want to do – but it feels so good that I quite often use it for my entire play session. The little balls stroke my G-spot easily and effectively. I love that I don’t have to be “in the mood for penetration” to use this toy, because it’s smaller than most of my dildos and never feels like a challenge.

One of the other toys Knotty sent me, the Turtle, is tiny and discreet, but is surprisingly good at hitting my G-spot. It has a grippy handle where my fingertips fit, allowing me to push up on it and apply more pressure to my spot. It’s a very clever design because it kind of looks like a wooden spoon, or at the very least, it doesn’t look like a dildo – so you could leave this out, or take it with you when you travel, and no one would suspect. The owner of Knotty says this is one of his most popular designs, and I can certainly see why.

I’m admittedly not in love with the third Knotty toy I received, a girthy double-ended dildo with a ridgy part on one end – but that’s probably because it’s made up of two things my vagina doesn’t really like: smooth thickness and little ridges. I know some texture queens and girth enthusiasts who’d probably be all over this one, though it’s not for me.

This has been my first experience using wooden toys, and I think I’ll be trying more of them in the future, because wood is a great material for dildos. It’s lightweight, so my wrist never gets tired from thrusting it, even when I’m going super quickly. Knotty dildos are all treated with several coats of a food-safe finish, which keeps the toys’ surface smooth and lube-compatible but also preserves the smell of the wood (which is heavenly, by the way – much more pleasant than steel or silicone). It’s easy to wash these dildos with soap and water or a quick spritz of some antibacterial toy cleaning spray. And best of all, wood is firm, so it makes my G-spot swoon.

Wood’s not perfect, though. These toys have some drag – not the kind that makes me fear for vaginal splinters, thank goodness – so I find I need an extra squirt of lube to get ‘em to slide smoothly and comfortably. However, that’s the kind of thing I only mind if the toy isn’t that great, and these wooden toys are great, so drag’s not a big deal.

As if it’s not awesome enough that all Knotty Wood Arts toys are hand-carved, coated in a body-safe finish, customizable, firm, and lightweight, they’re also affordable. If you’ve been lusting after a wooden toy by NobEssence, you’ve probably noticed that their toys are pretty pricey. I’m sure you’ll be surprised and delighted to know that most of Knotty’s toys are under $50. I can think of no better way to describe this than the following: YAY!

Thanks so much, Knotty Wood Arts, for giving me my first experience with wooden toys and making it such a good one! If you’d like him to make you a custom wooden dildo or anal toy, get in touch with your specifications!

Review: Tantus Echo

Kate Sloan

When I first discovered Tantus, I quickly scampered onto their website and flicked through their pages upon pages of sex toys. Only a few items really jumped out at me as something I desperately wanted, and one of those items was the Echo. With those corkscrew-like ridges and bulbous head, it is a thing of beauty. So naturally, I snapped one up when I saw they were on sale.

Now, before I review the toy, a word of warning: I ordered my Echo direct from Tantus, and the one I ordered was white. However, they sent me a purple one. Color isn’t that important to me, especially if the toy is good, but this experience does make me mildly wary about ordering through Tantus’ website in future. I love you, Tantus, but other sex toy shops always get my order totally correct!

Truly, though, that’s one of the only bad things I can say about this toy… and of course, the color mix-up isn’t the toy’s fault!

As usual, Tantus has knocked it out of the park in terms of material quality. Their silicone is easy to clean and care for, and has lovely little swirls of lighter and darker colors, almost like wood’s grain. The only negative aspect of Tantus’ silicone formulation is that it collects way more lint than any of my other toys; I feel the need to rinse off the Echo before every single use, which is not always convenient.

While I’ve appreciated the craftsmanship and beauty of my other Tantus dildos, they weren’t always a great fit with my anatomy. I found the Flurry O2 too ridgy in the head, and too straight and boring in the shaft, plus it ate lube. I love my Adam O2, but it’s too girthy for me to use on a regular basis; I need to be warmed up and extremely relaxed before my pussy will allow it to enter.

The Echo, however, works much, much better for me. Part of it is that the silicone is very squishy, way more pliable than I was expecting – I can easily bend the toy into a 90-degree angle. This squishiness isn’t always a good thing – I’ll discuss that more later – but in terms of vaginal comfort, it’s definitely a plus for me. The Echo’s design is also fantastic in that the head is the widest part of it, at 1 ½”, and the shaft gets skinnier – so while I sometimes experience mild discomfort when initially inserting the Echo, it quickly goes away as my vagina takes in more of the toy.

The Echo has a flat, circular base which would seem to indicate that it can be used in a harness or for anal play, but I wouldn’t recommend it for either. As I said before, the silicone is very pliable – to the point that the base and lower shaft feel almost flimsy. This is especially true because of the cavity in the bottom that’s made to hold a bullet vibe. I wouldn’t trust the Echo to stand up straight in a harness or to avoid being sucked up into a butt… or even to be easy to thrust quickly, which it isn’t. Despite the fact that its base looks big, it’s just not up to the task.

As for the bullet vibe – I dunno. It’s okay. When it arrived, its watch batteries were already loaded into it, which made me wonder if it’s safe to do that (don’t they tell you to always remove vibrator batteries between uses, to avoid corrosion?). The bullet slides easily into the hole at the bottom of the Echo when lubed a little, and while it’s strong for a bullet, I don’t find that the vibrations add anything to my experience. (The bullet’s presence does, however, make the Echo’s base slightly more substantial-feeling and thus easier to hold onto.)

The Echo’s ridges are perfect. I’m normally not a fan of ridges, particularly ones that are packed close together and intense, but the ones on the Echo are fairly spread out and feel similar to the coronal ridge on a penis – i.e. not overstimulating, just nice. I used to classify myself as someone who just doesn’t enjoy ridges on dildos, but I think I have to give up that label now, because the Echo feels just grand in my pussy. And only one side of the Echo is ridged, so if I’m ever having a particularly texture-sensitive day, I know I can just turn it the other way for a smoother surface.

Also: its head is magical. Maybe it’s because it’s so big and rounded, or maybe it’s the soft silicone, or maybe it’s both, but the Echo’s head never hurts my sensitive cervix – instead, it strokes it, creating that divine anterior fornix stimulation that I thought only my boyfriend’s penis could adequately achieve. I can thrust the Echo deeper than I can insert any other dildo I own, and my pleasure-starved cervix and fornices enthusiastically thank Tantus for that.

Overall, I’m very, very pleased with my purchase. The Tantus Echo has some design issues that detract slightly from its perfection, but it hits all the right spots, feels comfortable in my smaller-than-average pussy, and is of the high quality I’ve come to expect from Tantus. If this dildo was a person, I’d buy it a bouquet of daisies, stare at its ripply muscles, and start to fall in love.