dildo

My New Lover: NobEssence Fling

Kate Sloan

Just LOOK at this motherfucker! Drink in its insane beauty!

I bought my NobEssence Fling on buyout from Eden Fantasys to offset its high cost, so my full review of it is located on their website. But I still felt that you needed to hear me extol its virtues. Because this thing is a G-spotting boss.

When I was contemplating NobEssence toys, I asked Epiphora what she thought of the Fling, since it was the one that was calling out to my G-spot. She said, “Haven’t tried it but my gut says your money’s better spent on the Seduction or Tryst.” I trust her opinion on most things, but the more that I looked at those toys and their measurements, the more I became convinced that they probably wouldn’t work for me. I’ve learned that my G-spot likes big bulbs, but that my vagina can only rarely take toys wider than 1 ½". So I defied Epiphora (!) and went with the Fling.

I ordered my Fling in what EF calls “burgundy,” which turned out to be a dark red wood called Padauk that lights up bright red when held up to light. It’s hand-carved, and sealed in a coating called Lubrosity that keeps it safe from me juicing all over it (and also, you know, makes it washable and bleachable and stuff).

It is a very near-perfect toy. My EF review of it is titled “Nature’s Answer to the Pure Wand,” and if you know sex toys, you know what a huge compliment that is. The Fling causes that immediate, intense, “whoa boy” kind of G-spot sensation that only the Pure Wand and Amethyst have really been able to create in me before – and it does it without straining my wrist or requiring weird angling to happen. I just lube it up, slide it in, and my G-spot practically shrieks in ecstasy.

One of the very strange things about the Fling is that its diameter is apparently the same as the dildo that conquered my vagina, and yet the Fling actually fits inside me. It’s a little bit painful upon initial insertion, especially if I haven’t warmed up with a smaller toy first, but once I get it past the opening, it slips straight in and there’s no pain involved. I’m convinced that this toy is magic.

I’m very glad that my first NobEssence toy is the Fling, and I’m not even sure that I’ll want another one, to be honest with you. This dildo is so perfect that I can’t even imagine wanting it to have a sibling in my toybox.

Review: Icicles No. 2

Kate Sloan

The icicles No. 2 dildo is like a tall, muscular, handsome guy you meet at a party. As he charms you with easy flirtation, you think about sleeping with him; you imagine he probably looks fantastic naked and has a big, thick cock. But at the same time, you know his good looks may have allowed him to squeak by without picking up the sexual skills you’ll need to be satisfied. He likely knows how to use his dick well, but maybe that’s all he knows how to do. And as good-looking as he is, a lack of creativity and versatility would make him a bore in bed.

That is to say: the Icicles No. 2 is a beautiful dildo, and it feels good in use, but it doesn’t do anything particularly new or exciting or even satisfying.

The Icicles line, by Pipedreams, is the mass-produced answer to all those small companies making hand-blown glass toys. The “big guys” don’t always pay as much attention to quality as the little guys do, and I’ve heard some bad stories about the Icicles line – mainly that some of the paint will sometimes flake off the colored dildos. For this reason, I chose an Icicles model that had no color, and was fairly straight-ahead.

Icicles No. 2 actually kind of looks like an icicle, unlike many of its brothers and sisters. It consists of several ripply bulbs, ranging in size from ¾" to 1 ½" – it measures 8 ½" from end to end, so it’s quite big. I can only fit about half of it inside me comfortably.

My overwhelming impression of this toy is that it doesn’t know what it wants to be. The big end feels good in my vagina for the first little while, but eventually I crave a thicker shaft with more G-spotting capabilities. The small end, on the other hand, feels good when inserted anally, but the toy doesn’t have a flared base, so I worry about using it that way. I feel like Pipedreams should have picked one specific purpose for this toy, whether that be vaginal or anal stimulation, and added features to improve the toy for that use. As is, it’s a little “meh” in either orifice.

Another obnoxious thing about Icicles toys is that they don’t come with storage bags. The packaging is nice, and includes a thick styrofoam insert to protect the toy during transit, but there really isn’t any excuse for selling glass toys without padded bags to keep them in. I’ve been keeping this dildo in the styrofoam it came in, but that’s big and bulky, so I’ll have to come up with another solution soon (maybe I’ll wrap it in an old shirt?). Hey Pipedreams, even tiny, independent toy makers have figured out the importance of including storage options; why haven’t you?

The biggest ball is my favorite part of the toy, because it hits my G-spot very nicely when it first slides in. If the entire dildo consisted of 1 ½" balls, it’d probably be my new favorite glass toy. It still wouldn’t be especially exciting or interesting, but at least it’d be good.

If you want a long, ripply, glass wand that can be used anally or vaginally, to pleasant effect, the Icicles No. 2 could be your new best friend. But if you’ve already felt glass ripples, this one probably won’t impress you too much, and you’d be better off getting something more unique (maybe the tentacle-like Icicles No. 24, or the G-spot champion Bent Graduate). Glass is fun, easy to take care of, and feels great, but toy manufacturers will have to be more creative than the Icicles No. 2 if they want to continue to do well.

5 Sex Toys I Covet For Their Weirdness

Kate Sloan

My sex toy wishlists are an eclectic amalgamation of awesome, good, and questionable. (You can click over to them using the links in my sidebar, if you want to take a look or even buy me something.) There are all sorts of materials (everything except jelly!), shapes, sizes, functions, intensities, volumes, companies, and levels of attractiveness. I thought I’d do a post to profile some of the weirder items on my wishlists, and the reasons I want them.

At first glance, the Vibratex Pixie Plus looks like any gross sex toy you could pull off a shelf at a low-end “novelty” sex shop – cheap, nubby, vaguely jelly-esque (don’t worry, it’s elastomer). But if you could turn it on, you’d see that the internal portion of the Pixie doesn’t vibrate – its tip strokes back and forth, like the famous “come hither” motion. Since most G-spots respond better to stroking than they do to vibration, I am all for dual-stimulation vibes with internal parts that do something interesting.

The Lelo Olga wins the award for most ridiculously luxe toy, because it’s just Ella made of stainless steel and given a price increase of approximately 700%. Despite what a silly purchase it’d be, I want it, because Ella’s neck was too bendy and couldn’t put enough pressure on my G-spot. Plus, you could use Olga to do your daily bicep curls.

Love To Love’s Oh Oui! is a hot pink vibrating banana. It makes me wonder if there is a fruit fetishist market within the sex toy industry. But I gotta say, it looks like it’d reach my G-spot efficiently, which is more than I can say for many toys.

I will one day have a Clone-a-Willy Kit. It turns out that my boyfriend’s cock is literally the perfect size for me – long enough to fill me up without hitting my cervix, wide enough to hit the right spots without stretching me apart – and I want a replica that I can use when I’m alone. For now, I’m lusting after the Mark O2 because it seems to have similar dimensions… but one day, I will want a real copy, and that is where Clone-a-Willy comes in.

There’s been much talk about the Sqweel, an oral sex simulator with ten fast-flapping tongues. Many reviewers say it’s messy, not stimulating enough, has seams you can feel, and gets in the way of any penetrative toys you might want to use in tandem with it. Still, something about it makes me want it. I’m a cunnilingus enthusiast 4 lyfe, and that is why I need a Sqweel, no matter how bad it is.

Review: Jollies Jollet

Kate Sloan

I was insanely excited to receive my package from Chavez Dezignz. As soon as I had opened it up and fondled this beautiful polka-dotted dildo in my hands, I updated my EdenFantasys status: “This week, my vagina will conquer the Jollies Jollet!”

I’m sad to report that it actually happened the other way around: the Jollet conquered my vagina.

My vag is on the smaller side of average. This is something I know, and have had to accept. I can take my boyfriend’s 6", average-girthed cock without pain or discomfort if it’s adequately lubed, and I can handle a dildo of a 1.5" diameter if I’m warmed up – but that’s about as far as I had gone, prior to the Jollet.

Jollies’ Jollet was designed from a mould of a vagina, so it’s made to fill up all the nooks and crannies inside a pussy, nestling there and staying in place. As such, it has a rather enormous bump (1.75") toward the end of the shaft that is meant to stimulate the G-spot when fully inserted. The Jollet also has a small, pointy end that can rub the cervix and surrounding area. I requested the Jollet because I like firm pressure on my G-spot and mild cervical stimulation, so it seemed like a good fit.

Tragically, it’s not a good fit at all. I’ve tried to use the Jollet on multiple occasions with no luck whatsoever.

This is how it usually goes: While watching porn and playing with my clit, I warm up with some other dildos, starting with a small one (Ella) and then moving to a larger one (Adam). Everything’s lubed and feeling good; I’m getting very turned on and can feel my G-spot crying out for more.

Then, I think, “Hey, maybe I’ll try the Jollet today.” I pull it out, drench it in lube, and slowly start to slide it in.

As the G-spot bump becomes parallel with my pubic bone, my pussy is overtaken by a sharp, burning pain. I tell myself, Just a little further, maybe it’ll slide in, and push it. It feels forced and agonizing. It feels like losing my virginity all over again.

After a few minutes of this, I can’t handle the pain anymore, so I remove the inch or two of the Jollet that I had managed to insert, wipe off the gallons of lube, and collapse into a pile of defeat and frustration.

If I was going to commission Chavez Dezignz to make a version of the Jollet just for me, I’d make a couple of small, but significant changes. I’d have them make the silicone squishier (currently it’s practically rock-hard, with no “give” to make insertion easier), and I’d reduce the diameter of the G-spot bump, even just by 0.1" or so. I think that would make all the difference for women with wimpy orifices like myself.

Other times that I’ve struggled with fitting a toy inside me, I wanted to work up to the challenge, because I felt like it was possible. Adam, for example, initially hurt a little, but its squishiness assured me that I’d be able to handle it if I spent more time on warm-up – and lo and behold, it’s still my favorite dildo for when I get into a “fill me up completely” kind of mood.

With the Jollet, it’s different. The challenge isn’t fun. It doesn’t encourage me to seek out the tricks I’ll need to get it to fit. I just don’t believe it ever will. It hurts like a motherfucker and drains all the arousal out of my pussy in one fell swoop.

It’s such a disappointment, because I really thought I would love the Jollet. Many of my favorite reviewers have raved about theirs. Plus, it’s polka-dotted, and looks so damn cute with my Candy Bullet wedged into the hole in the base. But it just doesn’t work for me.

I’m going to aim to write a follow-up review in a few months, if only because I feel it’s unfair to the toy and its makers for me to write it off based on my current vaginal prowess (practice makes perfect, after all). But for now, I can only recommend this toy for people who already know they’re comfortable taking toys 1.75" and wider, especially firm ones. Small-pussied gals like me will likely come to view the Jollet as an implement of agony.

Thanks to Chavez Dezignz for the opportunity to try out this super-cute toy! You can buy their products on their website or their Etsy shop.

Progress Report: G-Spot Orgasms (Revisited)

Kate Sloan

The last time we spoke about G-spot orgasms, I had only just started to experiment. I’d given a stack of towels a permanent home on my bed, and I’d invested in some highly-praised G-spotting toys. But I’d barely ventured into the world that is G-spot pleasure.

I’ve been playing with my G-spot a lot more lately, so I thought I’d give you a little update on how it’s going.

I was reading Deborah Sundahl’s squirting bible and she mentioned that some women find it easier to incorporate a steadily-lessening amount of clitoral stimulation over time, as they learn to master their G-spots. This idea sounded much easier and more appealing to me than just dropping clit stim cold-turkey in favor of concentrating on my G-spot.

Today, I started with my Amethyst, a favorite but oft-forgotten dildo of mine. It’s glass, and fairly skinny, so it requires little to no lube and is great for warm-up. Plus, when inserted, it makes a freaking bee-line for my G-spot, immediately triggering that need-to-pee sensation.

Normally I need a little clit play to get me going, but the Amethyst felt good right away. I wish it were always this easy to get started. (Maybe it would be if I always started with the Amethyst!)

After a while, my pussy started to crave something bigger. The small, tapered end of the Amethyst just wasn’t cutting it anymore, so I pulled out the Pure Wand. The G-spotter to end all G-spotters. A pound and a half of glorious steel.

Like glass, steel barely needs any lube – I just stuck the Wand’s larger end in my mouth for a second and that was enough to get it to slide in. My G-spot was pretty swollen and aroused at this point, so again, it felt good right away. I thrusted and rocked and tilted and manoeuvred. Good god, the Pure Wand knows what it’s doing.

After about 15 minutes of that, I started to feel a little stuck – like my arousal wasn’t progressing anymore. So I grabbed my Eroscillator, kitted out with the fingertip attachment, turned it to the lowest setting and held it on my clit while continuing to thrust the Pure Wand. I increased the speed of my thrusting, and a few times, I felt the glimmer of an oncoming orgasm somewhere in the distance, but it didn’t happen.

I should tell you that the Eroscillator’s lowest speed is not normally one that gets me off. I always click up to the second and third speeds to finish the job. While using it in tandem with the Pure Wand, I occasionally felt a momentary desire to increase the power of the oscillations, but when that happened, I knew it was only because I was focusing on my clit too much. Ms. Sundahl says achieving G-spot orgasm is about shifting your awareness from your clit to your urethral sponge, so I knew that’s what I had to do.

I left the Eroscillator buzzing at a low speed on my clit, while thrusting very fast with the Pure Wand. I focused all my mental energy on the way the big steel ball felt as it slid over my G-spot again and again. I revelled in that sensation, that unusual pleasure that I don’t typically encounter without the help of toys. And before very long, I came.

It wasn’t a full-on G-spot orgasm – I felt some of it in my clit, and was hypersensitive afterward in a very clitoral sort of way. But I definitely feel that I now know how to shift my orgasms into a deeper part of my pussy, at least somewhat… and that feels like an important step.