dildo

Review: Nothosaur Graemen fantasy dildo

Kate Sloan

Content note: Some discussion of canine sexuality.

 

Being in the media industry, I frequently receive press releases on topics that have nothing to do with my niche. Usually I just ignore these, but sometimes they’re so incongruous as to make me burst out laughing.

That’s what happened when I received an email from a company that makes dog treats. They wanted me to promote their products on my blog. Yes, this blog. The blog where I write about dildos, lipstick, and spanking. This is not a dog blog. I’ve never even owned a dog. I don’t know anything useful about dogs, nor do my readers expect dog-related content from me. What would I even write? Something about puppy-play kink? Useful kink principles adapted from dog training protocols? The best dog names that also work well as submissive honorifics? Who the fuck knows.

I sent off a reply email to the dog treats company, explaining my apprehension. But then, after hitting “send,” I glanced over at my nightstand, where I keep the toys I’m currently reviewing. There, I saw the Nothosaur Graemen, a dildo specifically designed to look like a canine dick. Oh, I thought. I guess I do write about dogs sometimes…

Anyway, this toy is lovely, and I am much more qualified to write about dildos than about dog treats, so let’s dive right in.

 

Custom size & color

The thing I love most about Nothosaur toys is the extent to which you can customize a toy to your specifications. They let me pick whatever toy I wanted (!!), so I spent far too long perusing their entire website. I eventually landed on the Graemen because I’ve been curious about these dog-inspired dildos before (for reasons I’ll get into below) but haven’t found one I’ve really loved.

Like many Nothosaur toys, the Graemen is available in five different sizes, ranging from small (3.93″ useable length x 1.44″ knot diameter) to XXL (8.07″ x 2.93″). I went with the large size, which is right in the middle: it has a useable length of 6.10″, a head diameter of 1.29″, and a knot diameter of 2.14″.

I chose the “Night Blue” colorway, which is gorgeous: the balls and base of the dick are a deep blue, while the shaft is more of a cyan shade. I love blue, so this color combo makes me really happy. That being said, you can also get this dildo made in pretty much whatever color(s) you want.

 

Firmness

Many Nothosaur toys allow you to customize the firmness of the silicone they use when making it, as well. The Graemen is only listed as being available in medium-firmness silicone, though I imagine they might be willing to custom-make one in a different firmness if you reached out to them. Nothosaur has this absolutely awesome firmness guide on their website, which features several gifs demonstrating the different firmness options, and should be helpful for anyone trying to figure out which option to go with.

Like I said, my Graemen is technically “medium” firmness, but I’d say it’s softer/squishier than that makes it sound. I’m used to using silicone dildos that are quite a bit firmer, like those made by Tantus or Uberrime. Even dual-density silicone, the likes of which is found in VixSkin dildos, tends to have a core that is significantly firmer than my Graemen.

I generally prefer dildos on the firmer side – hence my long-standing love of glass and steel toys – but I was actually glad this one was softer, because I think the shape of it would’ve felt too extreme if it was firm. When I’m aroused enough to take the whole length of this toy’s shaft, the knot fits into me easily with a bit of lube, because of how soft and squishy it is. This results in a less intense orgasm for me, because my muscles don’t encounter much resistance during the rhythmic contractions at that time, but it makes the dildo much more comfortable and adaptable to my body for the entire rest of the session before that, so it’s a trade-off I’m happy to make some of the time.

 

[chanting] dog dick dog dick DOG DICK

Okay, technically the Graemen is supposed to be the dick of a human/wolf hybrid, not a dog. But that’s still a canine. Sort of.

If you don’t know, dogs “knot” when they mate, meaning that a section near the base of their dick swells up, locking them into place for the duration of insemination. (Sorry, I’m trying to write about this in the least gross way possible without also writing dog erotica. Being a sex writer is a hell of a ride!!)

As I’ve told you before, the concept of knotting appeals to me in fantasy when applied to humans – and I’m not alone in that, as evidenced by the huge number of people reading and writing “omegaverse” fanfiction, in which knotting is a frequent feature. The idea of your own biology “forcing” you to complete the sexual act is hot to me, in a consensual-non-consent kind of way.

But also, the knot on this dildo serves a practical purpose: once it’s inside my vaginal opening, it kind of “locks in place,” making it easier for the dildo to stay deep inside me even when I’m not physically holding it there. This is great when I’m watching porn or reading erotica, or when my hands are in too much pain to keep a good grip on the base of the toy.

 

All about that A-spot stim

This dildo has a pointed tip that makes it suitable for hitting my A-spot. It doesn’t feel as intense on that spot as something firmer would, but because it’s so soft and squishy, it causes my cervix much less pain/discomfort than firmer toys can. I often have to skip A-spot stimulation at the height of my period, for instance, because my cervix gets too sensitive and angry to tolerate much poking around up there – and a dildo like this one is a great workaround at that time, because it’s so forgiving that my cervix doesn’t get mad.

 

Balls!!!

Dildos with balls are controversial. I know people who hate ’em; I know people who love ’em. Personally, I never really cared much either way until I developed fibromyalgia, at which point holding sex toys became more challenging for me at times, due to pain and muscle weakness. As a result, I appreciate toys with proper “handles” much more now than I used to, and honestly, balls can be handles. (My apologies to the testicled among you, who may be cupping your crotch protectively upon reading that. I promise I will not yank your scrotum unless you ask me to.)

The “handle” of this dildo is particularly great because it’s got some texture on it (seemingly meant to emulate wolf pubes), which enables me to keep a better grip on it even when my hands are covered in lube.

 

Final thoughts

Some orgasms feel like (the pleasurable equivalent of) getting punched in the stomach; they knock the wind out of you and are so intense they almost hurt. Orgasms with the Nothosaur Graemen are not like that for me, because the material is so squishy; they’re more like a nice hug from a friend, comforting and cozy. I can get down with that sometimes, for sure.

I’m really impressed with the broad range of products Nothosaur offers, and the customization you can do on nearly any toy in their catalogue. I mean, hell, if you like the look of the Graemen but you want it with a cum tube, they’ve got you covered. This is a company that really lets you take control of your own pleasure, and I think that’s neat.

Knotted dildos aren’t a frequent craving for me, but when I’m in the mood to use one, this is the one I’ll reach for. It’s beautiful-looking, feels great in my hand and in my cunt, and is fun to squeeze. I mean, I’ve been playing with it like a stress ball at my desk intermittently while writing this review… and honestly? I do feel less stressed than I did before!

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write an honest and fair review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

A Dildo Made to My Exact Specifications? Yes Please!

Kate Sloan
Triarx on the left, customized version on the right

There have been several exciting landmarks in my career as a sex toy reviewer. The first time I made my own dildo was one. The first time I got sent to an industry trade show was another. More recently, I got an email from West at the Pleasure Tailor, asking me if I wanted to try a version of their Triarx dildo… that was modified to my exact specifications. Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse!

You might remember the Pleasure Tailor from the time I designed my own dildo for them, which you can buy here. It’s called the Easy A and is designed to hit the A-spot – my favorite internal erogenous zone – while also being easy to hold and thrust with, even if you have strength/mobility issues in your hands, as I do.

A really wonderful thing about the Pleasure Tailor is that they let you customize any of their toys to suit your exact needs. Among the alterations they offer are size, color, firmness, finish, and how rigid or thick the core of the dildo is. So if, for instance, you liked my Easy A design but wanted one that was shorter, matte, or bright red instead, they could do that for you. Their company is aptly named because it reminds me of all the best experiences I’ve had with actual tailors. I went in with a garment that was ill-fitting and made me feel bad-to-meh about myself, and when I picked up the altered design a week or two later, it inevitably made me look and feel like a new woman – a hot woman, to be exact!

Likewise, the Pleasure Tailor can make you the dildo of your dreams. Let me tell you about the most recent thing they made for me.

Image via the Pleasure Tailor – standard Triarx on the right, modified version on the left

What is the Triarx and what modifications were made to it for me?

The Triarx is a realistic dildo designed by Felicity of Phallophile Reviews. Felicity has been reviewing toys for years, and her write-ups are so thorough and informative that I often reference them when I’m writing about particular toys or deciding whether I want to try a new toy that’s just been released.

As the name of her blog would suggest, she’s really into dildos – so of course, the one she designed with the Pleasure Tailor is a beaut. It’s made to be hyper-realistic, with lifelike veins and ridges that any cock aficionado can appreciate. It’s made of triple-density silicone, which means that it has a firm core and two progressively squishier layers of silicone around that, for a feeling that’s remarkably close to a flesh-and-blood dick. It’s got a suction-cup base for hands-free use, and even has a prominent “vein” running along the top of the shaft that’s designed to hit your clit while you thrust.

I adore realistic dildos, when I’m in the mood for them (which is often), and this one is on par with my faves from Vixen Creations and Tantus in terms of quality, realism and pleasure.

West at the Pleasure Tailor had the brilliant idea to send me a Triarx as well as a custom-modified version of the same toy, so I could compare the two. He made the following changes for my modded Triarx:

  • Lengthened the toy from 6.5 to 7 inches of insertable length, to enable it to hit the A-spot
  • Made the head slightly slimmer/more tapered so it can nestle into the A-spot more easily without bumping my cervix uncomfortably
  • Intensified the curve at the tip for more targeted A-spot action
  • Removed the veins (I’ve got nothing against texture on a dildo, necessarily; it’s just not something I crave or get much additional pleasure from)
  • Decreased the dragginess of the silicone by making it smoother
  • Made the firm core thicker so the whole dildo feels more rigid
  • Added a small tab of silicone to the base that lines up with the top side of the toy, so I’ll always know if it’s oriented correctly while it’s inside me

I hope this gives you an idea of the types of modifications you can request from the Pleasure Tailor, because they really are terrific. They can turn a dildo that’d work okay for you into one that might just become your new fave.

Triarx on the left, customized version on the right

My experience with the Triarx

The original Triarx, I have to say, is pretty great. It’s not entirely my cup of tea, for reasons I’ll get into, but I think a lot of people would enjoy it. Its diameter is 1.75″ – midway between the formidable VixSkin Mustang (1.5″) and Maverick (2″) – so it gives me a pleasantly “filled-up” feeling without requiring several minutes of warm-up.

It’s a very G-spot-focused dildo, as it was designed to be. I could definitely squirt with it if I thrusted it hard and fast enough, for long enough. I can push it deeper inside me and it will hit my A-spot to some extent, but it feels a bit awkward trying to jam something so thick into that petite nook in front of my cervix.

The triple-density silicone is incredibly fun to squeeze on; it feels like a stress ball. This dildo’s squishiness-to-rigidity ratio is perfect for intensifying my orgasms; I can distinctly feel every orgasmic contraction but they never feel like pain mixed with pleasure, as they can sometimes if I’m using a super-firm dildo.

The vein meant to hit the clit stands no chance of hitting mine, though. I would have to bend the dildo so far in that direction that its tip would be poking the wall between my vag and butt, which isn’t a sexy sensation for me. But it’s a cool idea and I imagine it’d work for some people, especially those whose clit is closer to their vaginal opening than mine is. And the vein does help me orient the dildo/keep it upright inside me, because it’s visually evident even while most of the toy is inside me.

Speaking of veins, the overall texture of this dildo – while I’m sure it would make some people very happy – doesn’t really work for me. No matter how much lube I drizzle on, it overstimulates my vaginal walls and gives me a slightly uncomfortable “been fucked hard” feeling. I know some people are into that, though.

Triarx on the left, customized version on the right

My experience with my modified Triarx

As soon as I inserted this custom-modified version of the Triarx into my vag, I noticed how much better it felt for me. The smooth silicone felt like heaven against my vaginal walls compared to the roughness of the original Triarx’s veins. The tip slid easily into my A-spot right away, with minimal effort on my part. I could tell that my spot was being hit more directly because I felt that familiar “oh yes” rightness that always accompanies the moment of a partner touching my A-spot for the first time in a session.

Because the shaft gets slightly thicker the more you insert it, this modded version still feels very filling and satisfying, and is a delight to come on. The orgasms with this toy are no better and no worse than those with the original Triarx, just different: they feel like they happen deeper inside me, because of all the A-spot stimulation going on, but it’s also not quite as pleasurable to squeeze on the modded version because it’s less squishy. You win some, you lose some. (A dildo this long would be hard to maneuver if it was squishier.)

I can hit my G-spot with the modified Triarx too, if I thrust it more shallowly. But I tend to prefer firmer G-spot stimulation, so I don’t often reach for realistic dildos for this purpose anyway.

Overall this is one of the better A-spot dildos I’ve tried, which is funny because the dildo it’s based on wasn’t an A-spot dildo at all! That just goes to show how clever the folks at the Pleasure Tailor are at making your erogenous zones’ dreams come true.

 

Final thoughts

The original Triarx is good, but my modified version – for my particular body, anyway – is spectacular. It’s optimized for A-spot stimulation while retaining all the qualities I loved in the original.

It’s also a testament to the wonders of human creativity – and a love letter to A-spotty dicks. Basically, I adore it – and I think that if you want a dildo to be modified to suit your anatomy and preferences as closely as possible, you’ve absolutely gotta check out the Pleasure Tailor.

 

This review was not sponsored; I just genuinely think the Pleasure Tailor is doing cool shit and deserves to be hyped up. Of course, the dildos were sent to me free of charge, but as ever, all writing and opinions in this post are my own.

Review: BigShocked 8-Inch Silicone Wolf Dog Dildo

Kate Sloan

Content note: As this dildo is inspired by dog/wolf penises, there will be some discussion in this post of canine mating habits. No bestiality, just dog-on-dog stuff. I know. I’m sorry. Let’s get through it together.

So-called “fantasy dildos” have never interested me that much, although I do find other people’s interest in them to be, in itself, interesting.

Almost all of my fantasies are about humans, rather than being about animals, mythical creatures, supernatural beings, extraterrestrials, or anything else. And to be clear, I’m not saying that in a judgey way. I think fantasy is just fantasy, and that doing bestiality is unethical but you can fantasize about whatever you want. I also think it’s cool as hell that the human sexual psyche is so wide-ranging and inventive. This is just not a side of it that holds much appeal for me personally.

But then the folks at Bigshocked offered to send me a dildo to review, and I was amazed by their wide selection of alien dildos, monster dildos, horse dildos, and dog dildos, just to name a few. I figured, when am I going to get another chance to review something so odd and out-there? (Well, probably pretty soon, if my career history is any indication, but hey, it’s a figure of speech.) After much deliberation, I asked for the 8-inch silicone wolf/dog dildo in a luminescent shade of green.

 

Sent this photo to my partner to show them what I was working on today. Dating me is an adventure.

What makes this dildo doglike and why the hell did I choose it?

While working on this review, I did some research on canine mating habits. I had to, because almost all my knowledge on this topic comes from a source I wouldn’t necessarily trust for scientific accuracy: erotic fanfiction.

See, there’s a fanfic genre known as “omegaverse” which incorporates elements of dog reproduction alongside tropey misconceptions about how wolf societies work. (The concept of wolf packs containing “alpha males,” “beta males,” etc. has been debunked, as it was based on observations of wolves in captivity, not out in the wild where they would normally be.)

In omegaverse fanfic – or at least, in the stories I’ve read from that genre – typically there’s an “alpha” character and an “omega” character. Every so often, the omega goes into heat, at which time they become sexually irresistible to alphas and also become irrepressibly horny for alpha dick. When an alpha fucks an omega, the alpha’s cock goes through a process called “knotting,” whereby a portion of the penis near the base (the “knot”) swells outward, effectively locking the alpha and omega together because the alpha cannot physically remove their dick from the omega while the knot is swollen.

I looked into it and a lot of this is accurate to how dogs mate. Most notably, knotting is a real thing that happens to dogs – but it’s definitely not as sexy/sensual/romantic as omegaverse fic makes it sound. For instance, the male dog usually turns around mid-bang so that he’s standing butt-to-butt with his mate, dick bending back between his legs. (Ever tried to do this as a human fucking a human? Sounds painful.) Peep this paragraph from an informative webpage I unfortunately read in its entirety while researching this review:

Dogs new to mating may experience a bit of anxiety at being locked together, but it’s a natural process. Help your dog to remain calm and stand still until the two can safely separate. This will occur on its own once the male dog’s arousal subsides.

Anyway, not to prattle on too long about dog sex (oops, I definitely already have), but I mainly was drawn to this dildo because I’ve enjoyed omegaverse fic before and find it hot to imagine someone being so turned on by my pussy that their dick literally gets too hard for them to physically remove it. I mean, come on.

 

Stuff I like about this dildo

  • I think people who are into those canine/omegaverse-type fantasies will be satisfied by the shape of this,  both visually and tactilely. I didn’t subject myself to a Google image search of dog dicks (sorry, I can only be as intrepid a sex toy reviewer as my anxious mind and sensitive stomach will allow), but I think this one looks pretty legit and ticks all the right boxes, so to speak.
  • On that note, it’s one of the less expensive fantasy dildos I’ve seen, so if you’re thirsty for alpha dick but gotta stick to a budget, I think this is a perfectly serviceable choice.
  • Even setting aside the animal aspect of this toy, I find the shape pleasurable and interesting. It’s rare to find a dildo with a tapered tip and a thick knot-like swell in the middle, so it really doesn’t feel like many other dildos I have tried. Its pointed tip hits my A-spot easily, but gently, when inserted all the way. The knotted section doesn’t do much for my G-spot because it protrudes moreso sideways than up-and-down, but it massages my vaginal walls in unusual ways and creates sensations I’ve rarely felt before.
  • For me, the size is reasonable and enjoyable. The shaft ranges in diameter from 1.37″ to 1.77″, and the insertable length is 6.93″, so I can get most of it inside me when I’m fully aroused. It never feels uncomfortable size-wise, only texture-wise (more on that later).
  • The teardrop-shaped base is excellent. I prefer when dildo bases offer some way to tell how the dildo is oriented when it’s inside you, because otherwise mine end up rotating around without me noticing, and then suddenly I’m using a G-spot dildo sideways and wondering why it feels like I’m getting a pap smear from an angry and overcaffeinated doctor. The base of this dildo makes it immediately clear to me which way it’s facing, so I don’t have to worry about that.
  • The base is also flared enough that you could use this toy anally and/or in a strap-on. Hot.

 

Stuff I don’t like about this dildo

  • In terms of quality, this dildo is definitely lacking. This toy only costs $36.50 and you are getting what you pay for. The swirls of color in it are artless and kind of ugly (IMO), and it just doesn’t feel as thoughtfully designed or carefully made as pricier dildos I’ve owned from Tantus, Uberrime, and so on. That said, I did administer a flame test to this Bigshocked dildo and the results seemed to indicate it is indeed made of pure silicone, as it claims to be.
  • I kind of wish the knot was firmer! Hell, maybe I just wish the whole dildo was firmer (its silicone is “Medium Super Soft Shore 10A”). This is very much a matter of personal taste, but one of the reasons I was excited about the knot was that I figured it would make orgasmic contractions feel more intense – but actually, it’s squishy enough that it didn’t make much of a difference sensation-wise. The orgasms are still good (I mean, they’re orgasms!), but I feel I would come harder with a firmer toy.
  • For me, the ribbed texture on the shaft is a bit much. I’m talking mostly about the part of the shaft between the head and the knot. There are times when it feels amazing against my vaginal walls, but also times when it feels scrapey and overstimulating. I would definitely recommend using a thick water-based lube liberally with this toy.
  • The silicone is very glossy, which means it’s also very prone to collecting lint and hairs, and amassing static electricity. This is annoying but not a huge deal.
  • Assuming you’re using this dildo vaginally, you kind of have to be fully aroused to get the full experience of it, because of how long it is and how far down the shaft the knot is located. If you’re unable to insert a dildo more than 4″ into you, you won’t comfortably reach the knot, so I would recommend doing a fair bit of warm-up before using this toy to make sure your vaginal canal has lengthened enough to accommodate it.

 

Final thoughts

If you love the thought of getting fucked by a doglike dick – and hey, I’m not judging – I think the Bigshocked silicone wolf/dog dildo will have you howling with delight.

It’s not the fanciest toy in the world, and not one that especially appeals to my own sexual sensibilities, but I’m glad I own one now, so that it’ll be around any time I’m craving a… bone.

 

This post was sponsored. That means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Realistic vs. Non-Realistic Dildos: Which Should You Get?

Kate Sloan
A Fleshjack dildo cuddling with the Easy A

Is there any type of sex toy as hotly debated as the realistic dildo?

Okay, yes, almost certainly there is. Moral panics arise perennially about people becoming “dependent” on vibrators, there has been much kerfuffle over whether sex dolls are inherently sexist, and “fisting dildos” often inspire medically-uninformed concerns about people’s holes getting stretched out. (That hypothesis is a myth, folks!)

But if we’re talking about the type of sex toy that is most commonly debated, argued over, and fretted about, obviously the answer has got to be the realistic dildo. Many cis men worry that they won’t be able to “compete” with a partner’s dildo if it’s cocklike, especially if it’s larger than their actual dick. Many lesbians have had their sexual identity questioned or dismissed if they use/like realistic dildos, despite the facts that 1) toys are not necessarily reflective of their users’ real-life desires and attractions, and 2) some women have penises so desiring dicks isn’t inherently un-sapphic at all. Straight men who use realistic dildos may be misidentified as gay or bi, because (again) many people falsely equate choice of toy with sexual orientation. Using a realistic dildo can be a clusterfuck in more ways than one!

Given all this fervent discourse/di(ck)scourse, one might assume that realistic dildos are the only dildos available, but that isn’t the case: many sex toy companies make non-representational dildos, designed to hit those tucked-away erogenous zones or fulfill wild fantasies. Basically, whatever image pops to mind for you when you see the word “dildo,” just be aware that there’s way more out there!

If you’re in the market for a new dildo but having trouble deciding which route to go, fear not – today I’m breaking down the key factors that might lead you to go realistic or non-realistic. Let’s begin this penetrating analysis…

 

Who should get a realistic dildo?

  • Someone who fetishizes dicks or just thinks they’re hot. (Hellooo, it me.)
  • Someone who wants their new strap-on dildo to look like a real dick, whether that’s for gender affirmation reasons or any other reason. I have many trans and nonbinary friends who initially explored their burgeoning Gender Feelings this way, whether or not they were fully aware that’s what they were doing at the time.
  • Someone who wants a dildo that has the comfortable squishiness/flexibility of a flesh-and-blood dick. Granted, not all realistic dildos have this (and some non-realistic ones do, too), but generally, realistic ones are gonna be toward the squishier end of the spectrum and therefore might be comfier for some folks.
  • Someone who finds that the shape of a penis works well for their anatomy. The coronal ridge on a cock can feel great on the G-spot or prostate, for example. Non-realistic toys can be stimulating in all sorts of ways, but if you know you really crave that “mushroom head” shape inside you, a realistic dildo is probably the way to go.
  • Someone who makes porn, does cam shows, etc. While some viewers may want to see you using non-realistic toys, in my experience the vast majority of porn/cam show consumers are cis straight men who want your toys to function as a proxy for their dick. Realistic dildos work well for this, whether you’re kneeling below the camera to shoot a POV blowjob scene, sprawled out on your bed fucking yourself with the toy, or affixing it via suction cup to a wall so you can bounce on it.
  • Someone who is in a long-distance relationship with a penis-possessing person and wants to be able to take sexy photos/videos with a silicone facsimile of their partner’s cock. (Or, alternatively, someone whose partner is transmasculine and might appreciate some gender-affirming custom porn.) If you like to have Zoom/FaceTime/Skype sex, it can also be nice to use toys that actually resemble parts of your partner’s body, so you feel like you’re physically together. If you can’t find a dildo that approximates your sweetie’s dimensions, ask them to make a Clone-a-Willy for you. It’s basically like copying-and-pasting a penis.

 

Who should get a non-realistic dildo?

  • Someone who is squicked out by penises or just doesn’t find them attractive. There’s no shame in admitting this – your sex toys are meant to turn you on, and to make you feel good, not to gross you out! (Unless you’re into being grossed out, that is…)
  • Someone who is threatened by (or has a partner who is threatened by) the thought of incorporating a penis-like toy into their play, and isn’t interested in interrogating or unlearning that reaction. As a reminder: sex toys are tools, not your competition… but I also understand that a lot of us have so much strife to discuss with our therapists these days (should we be lucky enough to have one) that dildo anxiety may not be at the top of your list at the moment!
  • Someone who likes to have specific internal erogenous zones stimulated intensely and specifically. Some non-realistic dildos may have, for example, a severe G-spot/P-spot curve, or a tapered tip that slips nicely into the A-spot. When sex educators say, “Some dildos can do things that dicks simply cannot do,” this is generally what we mean.
  • Someone who likes firm penetration. You can find firm realistic toys, but the body-safe ones tend to be made of silicone, and silicone (like human cocks) can only get so hard. Glass, metal, wood, and ceramic, on the other hand, can fuck you just as firmly as you please.
  • Someone who fantasizes about mythical creatures or sci-fi characters and wants a toy that mirrors what’s inside their head. Do you dream of getting dicked down by a dragon, rendezvousing with a robot, or being manhandled by a manticore? Chances are, there’s a dildo for that!
  • Someone who’s interested in temperature play. Materials like metal, glass, and ceramic hold their temperature better and longer than silicone, so generally you’re gonna find better toys for this purpose in the non-realistic category. Pop your toy into a bowl of cool (not ice-cold) or warm (not piping hot) water for a few minutes before playing, and you’ll experience the pleasures of temp play.
  • Someone who has an appreciation for art and aesthetics. That’s not to say penises can’t be gorgeous (my spouse’s is basically a Rembrandt), but they don’t tend to have the visual pizzazz of an elegant metal dildo or a colorful glass one. Plus you can’t exactly display a veiny dick on your nightstand and call it decor, unless you’re, like, Betty Dodson or Andy Warhol.
  • Someone who plans to post photos of their dildo on social media. (Look, I don’t know your life.) A lot of social media platforms will remove images that their algorithms flag as containing nudity, even if what’s being depicted is actually a silicone cock and not a flesh-and-blood one. You can even get banned for posting naughty pics like this, although non-realistic dildos tend to slip past the censors’ sensors uncensured.

 

Who could be happy with either?

  • Someone who just doesn’t have strong preferences either way, even after reading all of the above info.
  • Someone who wants to practice being penetrated, whether that’s because they plan to have sex for the first time soon and want to be prepared, or they haven’t had sex in a while and want to make sure it’ll be comfy when it happens, or they’re exploring a hole they haven’t had penetrated much or ever. You can get both realistic and non-realistic dildos in a broad range of sizes; it’s up to you whether you’d rather practice on something realistically cock-like or something smoother and simpler.
  • Someone who wants to wield a strap-on but has no strong feelings about what their penile prosthesis should look like. If that’s your situation, it might be best to defer to your partner(s) and get whatever they’d most like to be penetrated by. At the very least, you should take their size preferences into account, and ideally pick something that targets their fave internal erogenous zone.
  • Someone who intends to build a wide-ranging sex toy collection over time. You gotta start somewhere!

 

Do you have a preference for one type of dildo over the other? Why do you think that is?

 

Thanks to the folks at Honeysx for sponsoring this post! Check out their informational article, “Dildos 101: Everything You Know About Dildos,” for more details. As always, all writing and opinions here are my own.

I Designed an Accessible A-Spot Dildo, & It’s Available Now!

Kate Sloan
Photo via the Pleasure Tailor

I’ve been reviewing sex toys for nearly a decade, but with the exception of a surprise dildo-making party at an Oregon glassblowing shop, I’ve never made my own sex toy.

So you can understand why I practically jumped out of my chair with glee when the folks at the Pleasure Tailor emailed me to ask if I’d like to collaborate with them on a sex toy design. And I’m glad to say that the final product, the Easy A, is available for purchase now. But let me back up and tell you the story of how it came to be!

 

The person who emailed me, West, explained that his company was trying to “amplify underrepresented voices by enabling experts from various communities to design their own sex toys.” I knew immediately that I wanted to design a toy that would serve my needs as a person who lives with chronic pain and muscle strength issues due to fibromyalgia. I also knew I wanted it to be a dildo that targets the A-spot. (That’s the erogenous zone deep inside the vagina on the front wall, and the one that has been my #1 favorite internal erogenous zone for many years, for those who don’t know.)

Accessible toys and A-spot toys have some commonalities: there’s not very many of either, for one thing, but on the plus side, more are starting to pop up here and there. For example, the company Bump’n recently launched the Joystick, a product designed by and for disabled folks that allows hands-free usage of toys like vibrators, dildos, and strokers. On the A-spot side of things, companies like Uberrime and Tantus have multiple toys in their lineup now that can reach that spot with relative ease.

What I haven’t seen, however, is a toy that is both A-spot-targeted and accessible for people who have limitations like mine. So when West emailed me to ask what I’d like to design, I started making some sketches. I’m not much of a visual artist, but they gave us a good starting point.

Initially, I wanted to make a toy that had angled finger holes in the base, like the NobEssence Fling, while also boasting an A-spot-friendly curve at the tip, like the Tantus Tsunami. I had found finger holes to be a useful innovation during pain flare-ups when my hands could barely stroke my clit without pain, let alone pound a dildo in and out of me at the intensity I prefer. They allowed me to maintain control over the toy without having to grip/squeeze it in my hand. But I’d only ever seen them in toys aimed at the G-spot, so I hadn’t been able to harness their helpfulness in pursuit of A-spot stimulation.

West and I went back and forth via email for a while; he showed me designs, I made suggestions, he made adjustments, I tried a prototype, I sent more feedback, he made more adjustments.

Eventually, he said he wasn’t sure finger holes were the right choice after all, since they were difficult to make out of silicone in a cost-effective way, and would also limit the user in terms of what position their wrist could be in. If, for example, you like to lift one leg and loop your arm around it to grab your dildo, the finger holes would be at the wrong angle to do that.

But the Pleasure Tailor team had come up with a solution. They created a two-tiered base meant to be held between your fingers. This way, you can push and pull the dildo in and out with a fairly light touch and it’ll still move as responsively as it would if you were gripping it more firmly. This design still had the intended effect of increased accessibility, but was easier to manufacture and also easier to use from a variety of different angles. Have I mentioned that the folks at the Pleasure Tailor are geniuses?!?

Image via the Pleasure Tailor

Let’s talk about how this thing targets the A-spot, though… because, hoooo boy, it sure does. The Easy A is made of triple-density silicone, meaning that it has a firm silicone core that gives it its shape, covered by two layers of progressively squishier silicone. This is important because the A-spot is nestled in front of the hyper-sensitive cervix, so you don’t want to ram it with something super hard right off the bat – but once the toy is actually pressed against your A-spot, you may want (or at least, I certainly want) firm pressure. The Easy A is squishy enough to feel comfortable, but firm enough to actually do what it sets out to do: stroke the fuck out of your A-spot.

I have found this toy very effective for that purpose. Like all toys used for deep penetration, this one requires some amount of warm-up – but once I’m relaxed, turned on, and have inserted the toy all the way, it finds my spot with practically zero effort on my part. And when I locate it, I can hit it over and over again with a simple flick of my wrist or bend of my fingers.

One of my favorite features of the Easy A is a small raised marking on the base which aligns with the upward curve of the toy. This makes it so that the toy will never rotate around inside you without you knowing or noticing – you can always look down to check whether the marking is centered, and recenter it if necessary so that the toy will keep hitting your spot as intended.

Image via the Pleasure Tailor

Some other random features of this toy that I think are cool:

  • Presumably, if you were to rotate it 180°, you could use it to stroke the posterior fornix instead of the anterior fornix. I’m not a posterior fornix aficionado so I can’t 100% confirm whether it works well for that purpose, but I’d be interested to hear from someone who is, if they try this toy!
  • It doesn’t look like it would be harness-compatible, because the two-tiered base looks like it would make the dildo flop around too much in a harness, but actually, the core of the dildo is so firm that it works surprisingly well in a strap-on. So you can use it for easier masturbation or you can have a partner strap it on if they want to hit your deep spot too.
  • It’s fucking bright blue!! Just looking at it makes me happy!

You can buy the Easy A right now for $125.00. But fascinatingly, the Pleasure Tailor also offers the ability to customize this toy to your own specifications. If, for example, you like the basic idea of it but would prefer it in a different color, size, firmness, or finish, you can let them know and they’ll make it just the way you want it. How cool is that?!

If you try the toy I designed, I hope you love it! I’m certainly going to treasure mine forever 🥰