dildo

Review: Pleasure Works Cadet

Kate Sloan

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Sometimes you meet someone who seems perfect on paper, but there’s just no spark in person. They’re smart, funny, sweet, ambitious, adventurous, creative, charming, and a genuine pleasure to be around – but you just can’t muster up a sexual attraction to them. It’s frustrating as hell, and sometimes it can keep you from firmly rejecting the person, because they deserve to be wanted and you want to want them but you just… don’t.

That’s how I feel about the Pleasure Works Cadet. It’s a perfectly fine dildo that deserves love, from somebody, someday. But it’s not getting any love from me, hard as I might try.

The Cadet is made of silicone that has a little squish: it’s bendier than O2 but significantly firmer than VixSkin. It has a mild, strange scent and taste that remind me of the chocolate from advent calendars (?!). Its base is substantial and makes it anal-safe and harness-compatible, and it’s long enough (6.5″) that you won’t render it too short by strapping it into a harness.

The 1.6″ diameter feels ideal to me. I don’t need to warm up or stretch myself open before I take it, but it’s girthy enough that squeezing around it feels satisfying.

imageThere’s some raised veins on the shaft, but they’re pretty mild so my vag barely registers them. The head has some weird ridgy texture on it, which Bex told me bothers her but which I can hardly feel. (I should note, however, that my vag has historically not been all that sensitive to texture. If you are, you might dislike this like Bex does.) The coronal ridge is definitely noticeable in use but it’s not exaggerated; mostly it just reminds me of an average penis… which unfortunately means that it barely hits my G-spot. In fact, I only seem to get decent G-spot stimulation with this toy if I thrust it very fast.

And that’s a problem I have with the Cadet: thrusting it fast takes effort. The textured shaft and draggy silicone create resistance, and I find the base hard to grip if I’m trying to pound myself at a decent clip. Adding more lube helps a little, but I hardly ever seem to gather the speed and momentum I want. And when I do manage it, usually my wrist hurts like hell afterward.

imageI thought I’d like the Cadet because it’s theoretically long enough to hit my A-spot – usually toys need to be about 6″ or longer to reach that deep inside me. But nope, it doesn’t even do that. The head is just slightly too wide and blunt to slide past my cervix into that pleasurable nook. When I push the Cadet all the way into me, it feels so close and yet so far. Dammit.

So, while I’ve had some pretty good orgasms with the Cadet, it’s never going to be a favorite of mine. It barely hits my favorite spots, even when I run myself ragged trying to thrust it at top speed. If you’re looking for an average-sized, realistic, silicone cock for strap-on purposes or otherwise, I’d recommend the Tantus Uncut #1, Vixen Leo or Mustang instead. They all make my vagina way happier than the Cadet.

Sorry, pal. I tried. But it’s not me, it’s you.

 

Thanks for sending me this toy, SheVibe!

Review: Tantus Sport

Kate Sloan

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SheVibe sent me the Tantus Sport months ago, and I’ve been slacking on my reviewer responsibilities. I tried it once and immediately declared it Boring. I began to dread trying it again, because sex toys are supposed to be fun and bad sex toys ruin orgasms.

I even brought the Sport with me to #DildoHoliday, thinking its mere presence in my suitcase would pressure me into giving it another shot. But nope. The only times I even touched it were for photo ops: I took the above photo of the Sport near the firepit of the beach house we were staying in, and I also set it up in my closet for an Instagram shot.

However, when I got back home to Toronto, I decided it was time to put the pedal to the metal and the Sport to my vag. And I’m glad I did, because it’s not nearly as boring as that first testing session had convinced me. (This, fledgling sex toy reviewers, is why you must always test toys at least three times before you review them!)

Certainly, the Sport won’t excite most dildo veterans. I’d guess that everyone who was at #DildoHoliday, with the possible exception of Reenie, would find the Sport too small to be satisfying. But that’s part of what makes it a worthwhile addition to Tantus’ catalogue. I’ve been complaining for years about the lack of good small dildos on the market; the Sport is the kind of dildo that me-from-two-years-ago would have loved.

The Sport’s ball-shaped head is 1.25″ across at its widest point, making the rest of the shaft significantly smaller than that. Because vaginas are muscular and snap back into shape rather than gaping like an open pit, dildos with a big head and a smaller shaft tend to stimulate the G-spot pretty effectively, even for folks who like their dildos huge.

True, as a vagina gets turned on and swells in arousal, it may start to crave something bigger, firmer, or both of the above. That’s definitely true for me when I’m using the Sport: it’s more flexible than my G-spot prefers, and seems to lose its efficacy as my arousal mounts. But as a G-spot warm-up toy, or even a straight-up G-spot toy for folks who like their toys on the smaller end of the spectrum, the Sport performs very well.

I still maintain that the Slow Drive is my favorite of Tantus’ smaller offerings. Its finger-shaped head seems to stroke my G-spot more deliberately than the Sport’s round one. The Slow Drive’s thinner head also enables it to get all up in my A-spot without angering my cervix; this is especially true of the Slow Drive Long.

But if you know your G-spot digs round heads, and you prefer your dildos smallish, I think the Sport will be just your cup of tea.

Thank you, SheVibe!

It’s Good Luck to Cram Your Orifices With Tantus

Kate Sloan

Superstitious about Friday the 13th? No worries – today’s destined to bring good news, not bad. I know that because Tantus is running a buy-one-get-one-50%-off sale on dildos, vibrators and plugs. What could be better luck than that?!

Incase you need some help deciding what tantalizing Tantus duo to stick in your holes cart, I’ve put together some possible combos for ya. I’m a bit of a self-styled Tantus expert, after all.

Beginner combo: Charmer + Little Flirt

If you’re looking to ease into penetration – whether anal and vaginal or just anal – this duo will help you through it. And far from being boring, these toys will keep on feeling good even when you’re more experienced down the line.

Size Queen combo: Max O2 + Raptor XL

These toys are about the best you can get in the “stuff yourself with massive realistic cocks” category. Both of these dildos are long and thick, but because Max is dual-density and the Raptor isn’t, you’ll get a good variety of sensations.

Texture Slut combo: Splash + Flex

If your genitals like a lotttt of sensation, you need some mega-textured silicone, stat. These toys are some of Tantus’ most unique offerings and their sensation can best be described as whoa whoa whoa.

One For Now, One For Later combo: Slow Drive Long + G-Spot

Whether you’re targeting a G-spot or a prostate, these toys will find the spot quickly and then stimulate the fuck out of it (trust me). If the Slow Drive starts to feel too small or not intense enough, switch to the G-Spot. They make a great pair that way!

Head on over to the Tantus website to put together your own combo package. The BOGO50% sale only goes until Sunday night, so stock up quick!

Review: Fleshjack Boys Brent Everett Dildo

Kate Sloan

Lately I’ve told a few friends that I’m reviewing a sex toy for gay men, and they look at it and say, “But it’s just a dildo! Why is it for gay men?” and I say, “I KNOW, RIGHT?”

This is one of the weird things about the sex toy industry (and about some other industries too, for that matter). This product is marketed toward gay men but there’s literally nothing stopping a cis woman, or anyone else, from using it, so long as they like penetrative toys. The Fleshjack Boys line happens to be based off gay male porn stars but, duh, you don’t have to like or even know said porn stars to enjoy the toys moulded from their genitalia.

I was sent the Fleshjack Boys Brent Everett dildo. I’d been wanting to try a Fleshjack dildo for ages – devastatingly realistic dildos crafted in body-safe silicone, hellooo, that is so up my alley – and I chose this one based on its measurements. With its 7" of insertable length and 1.75" diameter, it’s big but not unreasonably so. I thought I could handle it and I was right.

Let it be said: this dildo is stunning. The craftsmanship is on point. It really looks like a flesh-and-blood dick: the texture and shape of the toy are all rendered in wonderfully intricate detail. Sometimes I look over at it sitting on my bedside table and just swoon a little because it’s like having an actual penis in the room with me.

However, obviously not everyone is into that. When I showed the Brent Everett to my friends who like realistic toys, they cooed and lit up. When I showed it to my friends who are turned off by male bodies and representational toys, they scrunched up their noses and told me to put the dildo away. It definitely has a polarizing effect on people, as real penises tend to do.

Fleshjack silicone is delightful. It’s got a lot of squish and give to it, but feels blissfully substantial in my vag. It’s not quite as realistic-feeling as VixSkin and it’s firmer than regular Vixen silicone but it’s more pliable than O2.

The base of the dildo is not a suction cup, but it’s very flat and tends to stick to flat surfaces slightly if you press it down, so you could set it up on a bathroom floor (or something) if you like to lower yourself down onto dildos and fuck ‘em that way.

For me, the main attraction of this dildo is that its coronal ridge is quite exaggerated and makes my G-spot convulse with glee. There is some milder texture along the remainder of the shaft, but that ridge is really the star of the show. It can be achingly intense if I neglect to warm myself up adequately, though.

Speaking of warm-up… Man, this thing is huge. My vagina is admittedly a wimp when it comes to size so I was surprised I could even get this dildo to fit inside me. Fortunately the tip is tapered and the toy’s material plays well with water-based lube so I’ve never had too much difficulty with it. I sort of gently jiggle it side-to-side as I insert it, making sure to incorporate clit stimulation at the same time, and I always get it inserted without pain. Sometimes there is some minor discomfort at first – “WOW, this is big” – but it’s nothing a little deep breathing and conscious muscle-relaxing can’t solve.

The actual in-and-out motion of the dildo is, as you might expect, very intense – in a good way. That ridge activates my G-spot instantly and the texture all along the shaft feels divine as it goes in and out. There is a subtle upward curve to the shaft which allows it to access my G-spot and A-spot more readily. The balls at the base are sometimes a little hard to keep ahold of, because they’re oriented away from my body instead of toward it, but it’s worth reaching a little farther because the balls are fun to squish and make a sturdy handle.

This is not the sort of dildo that I ram in and out of myself at top speed – the sensation is much too intense for that – but if you are inclined that way, I think it would work well for that, provided you can handle the size and the texture. The squishy silicone is comfortable and discourages injury.

Overall? I’m a little bit in love with this dildo. It is everything I want a realistic dildo to be. I’ve never seen a Brent Everett sex scene, but feel free to let him know I’m obsessed with his cock.

Review: Tantus Slow Drive

Kate Sloan

OPTIONS! I love having options. I love not needing to settle for a toy that’s almost-but-not-quite right for my anatomy, my technique, or my aesthetic preferences.

Tantus is very good at providing options. Not only do they carry a whole lot of kickass non-standard color choices (peacock-turquoise Duke, anyone?) but they’ve also been known to offer more than one size choice for certain dildos – for example, the small, medium and large Silk, and the small and large (HUGE) Amsterdam. Now they’re at it again, with a new(-ish) toy that comes in two different lengths: the Slow Drive and Slow Drive Long.

The price difference between the two is only $7, so if you think there’s any chance of you needing more than 5" of insertable length, you might as well spring for the long version and get an extra 2" for your money. Personally, I’m perfectly happy with either one; the regular Slow Drive is long enough to fill my vag to the hilt without much leftover length, while the long version gives me a little more “handle” to hold onto while thrusting. Whatever floats your boat, baby.

Sensation-wise, I’m digging the Slow Drive more than I thought I would. Its pointy shape doesn’t scream “G-spot ecstasy” to me – my spot tends to prefer rounder, wider heads, like the one on the Tantus Sport – but it’s surprisingly pleasurable. The curve is short but extreme, and it nuzzles right into my G-spot without feeling pokey.

Both Slow Drives have a diameter of 1.25". Shout-out to Tantus for consistently offering lots of options for those of us who are decidedly not size queens. An inch and a quarter isn’t tiny, but it’s small enough that I can use it without prior warm-up, and large enough that I find it satisfying 90% of the time.

Even though it has the curve-at-the-very-tip shape that I’ve come to associate with good A-spot toys, I find that the Slow Drive doesn’t really hit my A-spot for some reason. It’s decidedly a G-spot toy for me. But I’m okay with that, because what it does, it does very well. I can have blended orgasms super easily with the Slow Drive by thrusting it fast against my G-spot and leaving a vibe on low or medium on my clit.

I also think the Slow Drives would be excellent for anal play. They’re smooth and have a consistent width all the way down, their curve is gradual, their silicone is comfortably flexible, and their bases are flared.

Speaking of the base: I love it. It’s teardrop-shaped, sort of like a Ouija planchette, with the triangular tip lining up with where the toy curves – so even when the toy is buried inside you, you’ll still know it right away if the toy rotates inside you and needs to be re-adjusted. (Does anyone else have this problem? It’s one of the things that drives me nuts about curved dildos with a featureless, round base!)

While I’m not going to say that the Slow Drive is the Most Amazing Dildo in the World, it’s still a great, reliable standby to keep in your nightstand.

Thanks, Tantus! You sure know how to spoil a lady.