It’s Good Luck to Cram Your Orifices With Tantus

Superstitious about Friday the 13th? No worries – today’s destined to bring good news, not bad. I know that because Tantus is running a buy-one-get-one-50%-off sale on dildos, vibrators and plugs. What could be better luck than that?!

Incase you need some help deciding what tantalizing Tantus duo to stick in your holes cart, I’ve put together some possible combos for ya. I’m a bit of a self-styled Tantus expert, after all.

Beginner combo: Charmer + Little Flirt

If you’re looking to ease into penetration – whether anal and vaginal or just anal – this duo will help you through it. And far from being boring, these toys will keep on feeling good even when you’re more experienced down the line.

Size Queen combo: Max O2 + Raptor XL

These toys are about the best you can get in the “stuff yourself with massive realistic cocks” category. Both of these dildos are long and thick, but because Max is dual-density and the Raptor isn’t, you’ll get a good variety of sensations.

Texture Slut combo: Splash + Flex

If your genitals like a lotttt of sensation, you need some mega-textured silicone, stat. These toys are some of Tantus’ most unique offerings and their sensation can best be described as whoa whoa whoa.

One For Now, One For Later combo: Slow Drive Long + G-Spot

Whether you’re targeting a G-spot or a prostate, these toys will find the spot quickly and then stimulate the fuck out of it (trust me). If the Slow Drive starts to feel too small or not intense enough, switch to the G-Spot. They make a great pair that way!

Head on over to the Tantus website to put together your own combo package. The BOGO50% sale only goes until Sunday night, so stock up quick!

Review: Fleshjack Boys Brent Everett Dildo

Lately I’ve told a few friends that I’m reviewing a sex toy for gay men, and they look at it and say, “But it’s just a dildo! Why is it for gay men?” and I say, “I KNOW, RIGHT?”

This is one of the weird things about the sex toy industry (and about some other industries too, for that matter). This product is marketed toward gay men but there’s literally nothing stopping a cis woman, or anyone else, from using it, so long as they like penetrative toys. The Fleshjack Boys line happens to be based off gay male porn stars but, duh, you don’t have to like or even know said porn stars to enjoy the toys moulded from their genitalia.

I was sent the Fleshjack Boys Brent Everett dildo. I’d been wanting to try a Fleshjack dildo for ages – devastatingly realistic dildos crafted in body-safe silicone, hellooo, that is so up my alley – and I chose this one based on its measurements. With its 7" of insertable length and 1.75" diameter, it’s big but not unreasonably so. I thought I could handle it and I was right.

Let it be said: this dildo is stunning. The craftsmanship is on point. It really looks like a flesh-and-blood dick: the texture and shape of the toy are all rendered in wonderfully intricate detail. Sometimes I look over at it sitting on my bedside table and just swoon a little because it’s like having an actual penis in the room with me.

However, obviously not everyone is into that. When I showed the Brent Everett to my friends who like realistic toys, they cooed and lit up. When I showed it to my friends who are turned off by male bodies and representational toys, they scrunched up their noses and told me to put the dildo away. It definitely has a polarizing effect on people, as real penises tend to do.

Fleshjack silicone is delightful. It’s got a lot of squish and give to it, but feels blissfully substantial in my vag. It’s not quite as realistic-feeling as VixSkin and it’s firmer than regular Vixen silicone but it’s more pliable than O2.

The base of the dildo is not a suction cup, but it’s very flat and tends to stick to flat surfaces slightly if you press it down, so you could set it up on a bathroom floor (or something) if you like to lower yourself down onto dildos and fuck ‘em that way.

For me, the main attraction of this dildo is that its coronal ridge is quite exaggerated and makes my G-spot convulse with glee. There is some milder texture along the remainder of the shaft, but that ridge is really the star of the show. It can be achingly intense if I neglect to warm myself up adequately, though.

Speaking of warm-up… Man, this thing is huge. My vagina is admittedly a wimp when it comes to size so I was surprised I could even get this dildo to fit inside me. Fortunately the tip is tapered and the toy’s material plays well with water-based lube so I’ve never had too much difficulty with it. I sort of gently jiggle it side-to-side as I insert it, making sure to incorporate clit stimulation at the same time, and I always get it inserted without pain. Sometimes there is some minor discomfort at first – “WOW, this is big” – but it’s nothing a little deep breathing and conscious muscle-relaxing can’t solve.

The actual in-and-out motion of the dildo is, as you might expect, very intense – in a good way. That ridge activates my G-spot instantly and the texture all along the shaft feels divine as it goes in and out. There is a subtle upward curve to the shaft which allows it to access my G-spot and A-spot more readily. The balls at the base are sometimes a little hard to keep ahold of, because they’re oriented away from my body instead of toward it, but it’s worth reaching a little farther because the balls are fun to squish and make a sturdy handle.

This is not the sort of dildo that I ram in and out of myself at top speed – the sensation is much too intense for that – but if you are inclined that way, I think it would work well for that, provided you can handle the size and the texture. The squishy silicone is comfortable and discourages injury.

Overall? I’m a little bit in love with this dildo. It is everything I want a realistic dildo to be. I’ve never seen a Brent Everett sex scene, but feel free to let him know I’m obsessed with his cock.

Review: Tantus Slow Drive

OPTIONS! I love having options. I love not needing to settle for a toy that’s almost-but-not-quite right for my anatomy, my technique, or my aesthetic preferences.

Tantus is very good at providing options. Not only do they carry a whole lot of kickass non-standard color choices (peacock-turquoise Duke, anyone?) but they’ve also been known to offer more than one size choice for certain dildos – for example, the small, medium and large Silk, and the small and large (HUGE) Amsterdam. Now they’re at it again, with a new(-ish) toy that comes in two different lengths: the Slow Drive and Slow Drive Long.

The price difference between the two is only $7, so if you think there’s any chance of you needing more than 5" of insertable length, you might as well spring for the long version and get an extra 2" for your money. Personally, I’m perfectly happy with either one; the regular Slow Drive is long enough to fill my vag to the hilt without much leftover length, while the long version gives me a little more “handle” to hold onto while thrusting. Whatever floats your boat, baby.

Sensation-wise, I’m digging the Slow Drive more than I thought I would. Its pointy shape doesn’t scream “G-spot ecstasy” to me – my spot tends to prefer rounder, wider heads, like the one on the Tantus Sport – but it’s surprisingly pleasurable. The curve is short but extreme, and it nuzzles right into my G-spot without feeling pokey.

Both Slow Drives have a diameter of 1.25". Shout-out to Tantus for consistently offering lots of options for those of us who are decidedly not size queens. An inch and a quarter isn’t tiny, but it’s small enough that I can use it without prior warm-up, and large enough that I find it satisfying 90% of the time.

Even though it has the curve-at-the-very-tip shape that I’ve come to associate with good A-spot toys, I find that the Slow Drive doesn’t really hit my A-spot for some reason. It’s decidedly a G-spot toy for me. But I’m okay with that, because what it does, it does very well. I can have blended orgasms super easily with the Slow Drive by thrusting it fast against my G-spot and leaving a vibe on low or medium on my clit.

I also think the Slow Drives would be excellent for anal play. They’re smooth and have a consistent width all the way down, their curve is gradual, their silicone is comfortably flexible, and their bases are flared.

Speaking of the base: I love it. It’s teardrop-shaped, sort of like a Ouija planchette, with the triangular tip lining up with where the toy curves – so even when the toy is buried inside you, you’ll still know it right away if the toy rotates inside you and needs to be re-adjusted. (Does anyone else have this problem? It’s one of the things that drives me nuts about curved dildos with a featureless, round base!)

While I’m not going to say that the Slow Drive is the Most Amazing Dildo in the World, it’s still a great, reliable standby to keep in your nightstand.

Thanks, Tantus! You sure know how to spoil a lady.

5 Dildos I Couldn’t Live Without

As a sex toy reviewer, you often get asked what your favorite toy is, and it’s a bit like being asked, as a fashion fan, what your favorite piece of clothing is: you can’t really give a clear answer because it depends on so many factors. The context, the occasion, the time, the place you’re at mentally or emotionally. You might love your shearling boots in winter and your red floral sundress in summer. It’s the same with sex toys.

That said, there are five dildos that I tend to come back to, time and time again. Five dildos to rule them all, you might say. Here they are. Be warned: once you get your hands on one of them, you might become so addicted that you can’t put it down…

1. Vixen Creations VixSkin Mustang (review)

The Mustang is my first choice when I’m craving something realistic. It’s touchably soft and squishy, just like a flesh-and-blood cock. The texture and shape lend themselves well to fantasizing about good ol’-fashioned PIV sex.

The head and coronal ridge stroke along my G-spot in a way that’s pleasurable without being uncomfortable, like some more intense G-spot toys are. The Mustang is also long enough to hit my A-spot with ease. Overall: an excellent dildo that makes me all starry-eyed and happy-twatted.

2. Vixen Creations Leo (review)

Another Vixen dildo? Yes, they really are that good.

Leo is similar in size and shape to the Mustang, but its thickness is more consistent throughout, and it’s made of a firmer silicone, so it feels meatier. I tend to reach for it when I want a slightly more thorough rogering than I’d get from the Mustang.

It also has some scratchy texture just below its head, which doesn’t sound like it’d feel good but it does. Nothing else I own feels like that, so when I want a little roughness, I gotta have Leo.

3. Ophoria Beyond #3

This dildo has been discontinued and the sex toy blogosphere will never truly get over it, I think. I still get emails semi-regularly from people asking if I’d be willing to part with my Beyond 3 in exchange for money or other sex toys, and I always say no. That should tell you how valuable this toy is to me.

There are other deeply-curved, hyper-effective G-spot toys out there, like the Pure Wand and the Comet Wand, but the Beyond 3 is the one I like best. Its head is round and bulbous, its curve and angle are ideal, and its looped handle is ergonomic and comfortable. It’s the best tool for inducing knee-weakening, mind-bending G-spot sensations. Other toys can come close but, for me, they can’t match the Beyond 3’s perfection.

4. Tantus Acute (review)

I don’t know about you, but for me, vaginal penetration can sometimes be a bit of a chore. It’s worth the prep work, of course, but to do it, I have to spend time lubing up a toy and gently warming myself up with fingers or a smaller dildo, or penetration can be uncomfortable. For those times when I just can’t be bothered putting in the effort, the Acute is there.

It’s small, so it’s not always 100% satisfying, but the size-to-stimulation ratio is pretty impressive. That little curve goes straight for my G-spot and is surprisingly satisfying. This dildo will remain a bedside staple for me because it’s so, so good and so, so easy.

5. Tantus Tsunami (review)

I have a hard time even forming sentences to describe how good this dildo feels.

Ridges. Curve. G-spot. A-spot. Thrust. Smooth. Bumpy. PINK. VERY PINK.

See? Just trust me, even in my incoherence: it’s good.

What are your must-have penetrative toys?

Review: Tantus Plunge

Sometimes when I get together with friends, someone will ask me, “What reviews are you working on right now?” I usually try to talk about whichever toy on my current docket is the most interesting or strange, since there’s not much conversational potential in a response like, “Oh, you know, a standard silicone dildo.”

Well, for months, my go-to toy to discuss when faced with this question was the Tantus Plunge, because – as I’ve learned from these conversations – people are always either weirded out or titillated by the idea of a paddle that’s also a dildo.

Most common responses: “How does that work?” and “Who would want that?” Usually these questions were followed by some reflection and maybe a theory or two: “I guess if you’re spanking someone and suddenly want to fuck them instead…” “Well, it’s two toys in one, so it’s a good value, I guess.”

These theories have their merits, and the toy isn’t bad, but I still think it was a strange idea and one that doesn’t work so well in practice either.

The Plunge (the name of which, by the way, awkwardly makes me think of clogged toilets) is made of Tantus’ beautiful matte black silicone. It’s a material that works perfectly for paddles because it makes the handle appropriately grippy and gives the silicone a sexy leather-meets-rubber feeling – but it’s not ideal for dildos, at least not for me. I prefer a glossier silicone that won’t eat so much lube so quickly. Glossy silicone is also better for situations where you don’t have lube, or don’t want to use it.

My overall feeling about the Plunge is that it makes a great paddle but its functionality as a dildo is limited. I’ll tell you why…

Embedded in the handle of the Plunge is a hole that goes in one side and out the other. This is to enable you to hang the paddle up, but it’s a bad feature to include in a handle that doubles as a dildo. Cleaning vag junk out of that hole is a bitch.

The dildo/handle end of the Plunge is only 1.25” in diameter. That’s a fair girth for people with tight orifices, but anyone on the average-to-size-queen side of the spectrum will be sorely disappointed by this dimension.

It’s really hard to hold onto the toy while fucking yourself, or someone else, with the dildo end. You have to grip the whole wide paddle side in your hand, and it starts to dig into the flesh of your hand after a while. There are various other ways to hold it but all are tiresome. A dildo’s handle should be ergonomic and intuitive so you can put all your energy into the fucking; this one’s isn’t at all.

The dildo itself has a nice curve that strokes my G-spot enjoyably, but because it’s so slim, and because the terrible “handle” (paddle end) makes it difficult to get a comfortable rhythm going, the dildo just doesn’t deliver. If I want a small G-spot dildo, I’ll reach for something that’s easier to thrust with, every time.

As a paddle, though, the Plunge performs spectacularly. Tantus’ paddles are always top-notch. This one is a good mix of stingy and thuddy, and the curved handle makes it easy and comfortable to hold onto during spanking.

But if you want a Tantus paddle, I’m going to have to recommend the Wham Bam or Pelt instead, because the Plunge is just too impractical to be worth the extra money. How are you supposed to spank someone when the paddle’s handle is covered in lube? How are you supposed to fuck someone when you can’t get a comfortable grip on the end of the dildo? How are you supposed to switch between spanking and fucking in a way that isn’t awkward as hell? And (as a few of my friends asked me during the aforementioned conversations about the Plunge) what are you supposed to do if you want to fuck and spank someone at the same time?

My suggestion: get a good dildo and a good paddle and use them individually, of course. The Plunge was a clever idea in theory but the real-life manifestation is just too weird and ineffectual for me to recommend.

Thanks anyway, Tantus! You know I love ya, baby.