dildo

Review: Tantus Alumina Revolve

Kate Sloan

I get overly excited by sex toy materials that are new to me. Somehow I always feel like they’re going to drastically transform my sex life. They usually don’t.

The Tantus Alumina Revolve is made of solid aluminum. I’d been picturing the same sort of flimsy metal that pop cans are made out of (or soda cans, for you Americans), but nope – this toy is sturdy and firm. It’s not as heavy as steel, so it’d be a good option for someone who wants metal but has weak arms or hands.

Toys from the Alumina collection each come in a padded box, quite unlike any of Tantus’ other packaging. It’s much more protective and much fancier. I might actually use this box for long-term storage, which I almost never do.

The Alumina collection has been discontinued, but the toys are still available from many retailers. I chose the Revolve because it looked like it would work best from my body; the other options include the Pace, Motion, and Flow. Each Alumina toy can be unscrewed at the middle and screwed back together with parts from other toys of the same collection, so you can basically “build your own toy” if you have multiple Aluminas.

The Revolve is meant for G-spotting. One end is a bulbous head (bulbous compared to the skinny shaft; it’s actually pretty small in diameter – about 1.3") and one end is three graduated ripples. The single-headed end is surprisingly awesome for G-spotting, reminding my vagina of other toys that have a thin shaft followed by a large round head, such as the NobEssence Fling. The sensation isn’t as intense as it would be with something curved like the Pure Wand, but this toy evidently knows its away around a G-spot.

The other end isn’t as great. It feels okay when used anally, but vaginally, it doesn’t do a damn thing for me and usually ends up poking me in the cervix. I would swap out this end if I had another Alumina toy to trade with.

Aluminum holds temperatures fabulously well. I took my Revolve in the bath with me and ran it under the tap for a few seconds, and it became deliciously warm almost immediately.

The O-ring in the middle of the toy, where the two segments connect, is a major gathering ground for fluids and lube. With the G-spot end, I don’t ever need to insert the toy that far, but the triple-ripple end does need to be inserted that far for it to feel even remotely good, so it’s a bit of a problem.

So I guess you could say that the Alumina Revolve was a half-success for me. I love the G-spotting end, but the other end is pretty useless for my vagina. Still, aluminum is pretty nifty!

Cyclical Cock Cravings

Kate Sloan

The female hormone cycle is a strange thing. I’m on hormonal birth control, so you’d think I wouldn’t have any of the odd, cyclical mood swings and changes in desire that accompany certain times of the month for many women, and yet, somehow, I do.

Every time I’m on my period, I develop a weeklong craving for realistic dildos.

My current favorite, by far, is the VixSkin Mustang. It’s easily the most realistic toy I own, in both appearance and sensation. And every time my Shark Week comes around, without fail, I end up laying a towel under my hips and going to town on myself with the Mustang. That poor little dildo has bloodstains on it more often than any other toy of mine.

The Tantus Mark O2 and Adam O2 fulfill similar cravings, though they are a fair bit firmer, so sometimes my sore menstrual cervix can’t quite handle ‘em when I’m bleeding.

Lately I’ve been trying to make up my mind about whether to buy myself a VixSkin Maverick – essentially a bigger, juicier version of the Mustang I love so much. Last night I finally went ahead and did it. It’s probably way too huge for my relatively small vag, but it’ll be something to work toward, I guess!

What kinds of sex toys do you sometimes crave? Does your hormonal cycle have anything to do with it?

Review: Tantus Charmer

Kate Sloan

(The Charmer is the pink ripply one! Other dildos pictured: Happy Valley Perk, Tantus Comet, Tantus Raptor, Fun Factory Rainbow Amor, Vixen Leo, Tantus Mark O2, and Tantus Vamp. Um, I have a lot of Tantus toys.)

The Tantus Charmer is tiny, at only 1 1/8" in diameter, and I have a habit of buying unnecessarily small dildos, which is how it ended up in my collection.

However, I’m really pleased with it. It’s like anal beads for my vag.

I know, that sounds weird, given that the vagina’s opening doesn’t widen and narrow around incoming objects like the ass does. But the feeling is still strangely similar.

The Charmer has a series of ridges along its front, which bump up against my G-spot again and again as I slide it in and out. So despite its modest girth, I can really feel it.

Mine is a gorgeous shade of pearl pink. Normally I wouldn’t choose pink over other color options but this particular incarnation of the color is lovely.

I think this would be a great dildo for someone who likes G-spot stimulation but is too tight to use most traditional G-spot toys.

It’s also a fabulous toy for anal play, and would (I imagine) work brilliantly for pegging, since it not only feels wonderful but is also small and non-representational.

The Charmer, though too small to satisfy size queens and kings, is one of the better tiny dildos I’ve impulsively bought.

Best of all, it’s in Tantus’ closeout section, so you can get it for only – wait for it – $20! I am not normally one to use the word “amazeballs” but I feel that it’s an apt word to describe this situation.

Review: Doc Johnson Thinny Minnie

Kate Sloan

image

Every once in a while, a giant, cheap-ass sex toy maker like Doc Johnson comes out with something that catches my eye, and I wonder, Will this be the thing that changes my mind about this company?

The answer, at least in regards to the Thinny Minnie dildo, is a resounding nope.

I thought I would dig the Minnie because its shape reminds me slightly of the Lelo Ella, an elegant and effective G-spot dildo. But Ella stays firm, while Minnie flops. My G-spot needs firmness or girth or both, but the Minnie has neither.

It has an insertable length of 5", which really isn’t that long but feels like an eternity because of how boring the toy’s shaft is: straight, smooth, and skinny.

My G-spot can detect the Thinny Minnie, but just barely. If you want a good silicone G-spot dildo, go for the Acute, Tsunami, Adam, Ella, or Comet Wand instead. Anything but Doc Johnson!

(I know this review is super short, but can you blame me? Look at how boring this dildo is!)

Review: Topco Rascal El Diablo

Kate Sloan

I don’t think I really realized how big the El Diablo was when I ordered it. This is a monster of a dildo, at least compared to the ones I usually use. It has 7 ½" of length and is 1 ¾" in diameter at its widest point – and by “widest point” I pretty much mean “the entire shaft.” On top of all that, it’s made of very firm silicone that has practically no give. When I received it, all I could do was stare at it in terror.

However, after psyching myself up to get it inside me, it turned out to be not that difficult. I warmed up with some hot porn and a great vibe, and then I started prepping my vag with the Vixen Leo, which is girthy but still comfortable for me. And then I lubed up the Diablo and it actually slid in with minimal effort and minimal pain. I was so impressed with my vaginal prowess!

I guess, though, that I thought a dildo of such a formidable size should actually feel good once inside – and this one doesn’t, at least, not for me. Its curve is subtle and its head isn’t pronounced enough, so my G-spot kind of cries out, “Hey, is there a dildo in here or what?”

On the plus side, it’s loooong – so long that I would never be able to fit its entire length inside me in a million years – so it can hit my A-spot. But even then, it’s not spectacular.

The shaft of the dildo is partially matte and partially glossy, with a cool wavy line separating the two parts. It’s quite a classy-looking dildo, except for the big seam running up the underside. I’m not especially sensitive to seams but this might be a dealbreaker for some.

I really like the base, which is rounded on one side and flat on the other. I find it easier to grip and thrust with than other bases. However, it might make strap-on play tricky if you like to go very fast and very hard.

Surprisingly for Topco, this toy is made of real silicone and it seems to be good quality. I would have no reservations about recommending the Rascal El Diablo to someone who wants a huge silicone strappable cock and doesn’t mind seams, but for me, it just wasn’t a hit.

Thanks, Sex Toys Canada!