When the folks at Sex Toys Canada offered to send me a bullet vibrator, I thought they meant something more like this – tiny, silver, cheap, one-speed. I was pleasantly surprised when, instead, I received the Doc Johnson White Nights Super Bullet, which is bigger than my hand, and as girthy as a rather gifted cock. It’s certainly a bullet, but not a run-of-the-mill one by any means.
The first thing that struck me about this toy, other than the unexpected size, is the material. The Super Bullet is made of ABS plastic, the same phthalate-free, silky-smooth material frequently used by Lelo. As a diehard Lelo fangirl, I found the choice in material very appealing, as it’s associated with luxury and pleasure in my mind. And, conveniently, ABS plastic is compatible with any kind of lube you choose to use with it, and can be cleaned with soap and water.
I encountered my first issue with the Super Bullet when I went to load the batteries. The battery compartment takes a few good shakes before it’ll slide out. The positive and negative indicators on the chamber are confusing, so I had to do some experimenting before I figured out the way the batteries need to be inserted (hint: the positive sides go where the springs are, despite what the little icons would have you believe). Line up the arrow sticker on the battery chamber with the arrow sticker inside the toy, slide it in, screw it on, and you’re good to go.
I believe my Super Bullet has a defect, which is that the on/off button doesn’t seem to do its job. It’s supposed to cycle through the toy’s three speeds and then turn the toy off when pressed a fourth time. However, no matter what I try, I cannot get it to do this. It went through the speeds when I first got it, but wouldn’t turn off. Now, it seems to be stuck on one of the speeds – I have no idea which – and I have to unscrew the battery end slightly to get it to turn off. Needless to say, this is a pretty annoying problem, but I’m told that it’s not normal for this toy.
That said, I can look past a vibrator’s flaws as long as it still vibrates, which this one luckily does. After all, even luxury sex toy company Jimmyjane has a toy, the Little Chroma, which has only one speed and needs to be unscrewed to be turned off – and this is marketed as beautiful simplicity. Having read that the Little Chroma’s intensity can be controlled by which part of the toy you apply to your body (with the motor, and therefore the highest level of vibration, being located in the tip), I decided to try out the same principle with the Super Bullet.
The trouble is, though, that the vibrations travel through the entire bullet. There doesn’t seem to be one particular part of the toy where the sensation is most intense. In fact, I can feel the vibrations in my hand as much as I can in my clit, regardless of placement or positioning. This leads to Numb Hand Syndrome eventually – not so fun.
The Super Bullet feels pretty good on my clit for a while, and it can almost bring me to orgasm, but not quite. I’m the type of girl who needs to bump up a vibe’s intensity as I approach climax, and with only one functioning speed, that’s hard to do. So clitorally, this toy has led to mostly frustration for me. (On the plus side, it is a fairly quiet vibe, so the only sounds to be heard from my bedroom were my groans of irritation.)
Vaginally, though, it feels damn grand. Indeed, when I told my boyfriend I was planning on trying out the Super Bullet internally, he said, “There’s no way that thing’ll fit inside you,” but with adequate warm-up and lube, it’s surprisingly easy to get it in – all five of its insertable inches. And once it’s in, it’s a wonderful complement to any clit play I do at the same time. Using my beloved Turbo Glider on my clit while the Super Bullet fills up my insides can lead to earthshattering orgasms, as my pussy muscles clench down on the thick, solid bullet. This also holds true when I use my boyfriend’s tongue instead of the Turbo Glider (if you’ve never had someone use a toy on you while going down on you, you are missing out on some seriously stellar orgasms!).
Overall, I’m not sure how I feel about my Super Bullet. It has more than its fair share of problems – controls defect, overly diffuse and not-quite-strong-enough vibrations, finicky battery chamber, and gets hot quickly – but it also has several features that I appreciate, like being waterproof, smooth, and the perfect size to entertain my pussy while I play with my clit. And there are some things about it that I’m utterly ambivalent about, like its removable wrist strap (do people drop sex toys so often that we need a strap to prevent this problem?). Overall, I think this toy would be a decent choice for a beginner wanting to test out vibrations for the first time, but a seasoned pro would risk frustration over the toy’s more problematic points.
Many thanks to the good people at Sex Toys Canada for sending me this toy to review! Your discreet shipping and marvelous customer service make me all smiley inside.
