I remember the first time like it was yesterday…
My then-partner and I were lying in bed after a particularly satisfying cunnilingus sesh. He was spooning me and I was pretty blissed out.
Suddenly I had a craving I’d never felt before – a specific spot on my lower belly wanted pressure, like, now – and I was disinhibited by endorphins so I gave in to this random whim of my body. I grabbed my partner’s hand where it lay on my ribs, isolated two of his fingers, and pressed them into a spot on the border between my mons pubis and my stomach – hard.
My partner caught on pretty quick. He pressed as hard as I was directing him to do, and then he started moving his fingers in small, slow circles – which made me moan from a pleasure so deep and intense that I was almost sad I hadn’t discovered this trick earlier.
It took me some time and experimentation before I came to recognize that spot as my “external G-spot” – a highly specific area from which I can stimulate my urethral sponge without even taking my underwear off.
I want everyone to feel this awesomeness, so here are some tips on how to do it if you’re interested…
Get really, really turned on first. This is standard advice for any kind of G-spot play, really. I find that my external G-spot responds best when I’ve just had an orgasm, which is why touching it became a post-coital tradition with my last partner (oh, fuck, swoon). However, it also responds when I’m just suuuper aroused. When a partner digs their fingers into that spot while going down on me, when I’m like 80% of the way to orgasm, it makes the whole experience achingly intense.
Find the spot from the inside. This is one way to do it, anyway. If you already know how to locate your G-spot on your vaginal wall, press into it hard while holding your other hand on your lower belly/upper mons. See if you can feel your fingers through your body (yes, this is some Alien shit). If that doesn’t work, just get yourself very turned on and then experiment with pressing hard on different locations on your mons and lower stomach; you’ll probably stumble on it eventually.
Press hard. This, again, is good advice for G-spot play whether you’re coming at it from inside or outside; that fucker is really buried in the vaginal wall for most folks. My partner was quite surprised at the amount of pressure I demanded from him when we first started playing with my spot. I repeatedly had to remind him that I am not, in fact, a wilting flower or a Ming vase; my G-spot can handle – nay, requires – a hella firm touch.
Experiment with rhythm and movement. Just like your internal G-spot, your external one might like steady pressure, or it might prefer a bit of a circular motion, or a deep pulsing. I’m a fan of circles, which also holds true for the kind of clit stimulation I prefer (I wonder if there’s a connection there?).
Combine it with other forms of stimulation. I like to rub my outer G-spot while rubbing my clit. Not only does it feel good, but there’s a pleasing symmetry to having both hands rubbing circles in vertically aligned spots on my skin…
Take advantage of the convenience. You don’t even need to take your pants off to get at your G-spot, which is pretty terrific. I have been known to line up the bottom of my desk with the spot and then casually press against it while I work (or, y’know, watch porn). Just don’t be that perv who pleasures themselves inappropriately in public, please (duh).
Incorporate it into strap-on play if you’re into that. Some harnesses allow for you to position the base of the dildo up high on your mons, so you’ll get some pleasant external G-spot pressure with every thrust. Might be fun if you like a little variety (alternate harness placements and dildo types can stimulate your clit or your internal G-spot, or even potentially your butt, so you’ve got lots of choices).
Try using a sex toy on it. Deep, rumbly vibrations are the best at accessing the deeply-buried G-spot, I find. A wand-style massager gives me the heft and power I need to stimulate the spot through my mons. I also sometimes like to apply deep pressure with the big end of my Pure Wand. I wish there was a version of the Pure Wand that had an even more extreme curve, so I could rub my G-spot from both the inside and the outside at the same time!
Have you discovered your external G-spot? How do you like to stimulate it?