fleshjack

Monthly Faves: Trances, Nerves, and Blue Leather

Kate Sloan

Gosh, it’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these, huh? I had… a lot of amazing sex this month. With three lovely folks who I enjoy banging a great deal. It was an auspicious start to 2018, lemme tell ya! Here are some highlights…

Sex toys

• My Sir bought me a Doxy #3 for Christmas, because he is an absolute gem, and I love it. It’s got all the power I need, like a regular-sized Doxy wand, except it’s small enough to fit in a purse (or a carry-on suitcase – cough, #LongDistanceLyfe).

• A New Year’s Day phone sex sesh reminded me of how great the We-Vibe Sync is. If you’re looking for an app-compatible vibrator a long-distance partner can control in some super fun ways, this is 100% the one I would recommend. It succeeds in two key areas where a lot of vibes in this category fail: its motor rules, and its remote-controllability actually works.

• I am rediscovering my Fleshjack dildos lately. I love the firm-to-flexible ratio of their silicone. Plus sometimes you just need to display a hyper-realistic dildo on your nightstand…

Fantasy fodder

• Wow, I’m really into phone sex lately! It’s long been a proclivity I didn’t understand, since I’d always rather be touched by a partner than touch myself to their voice, and I get nervous about saying filthy shit out loud. But my new beau is exceptionally gifted in this arena so I’ve been having phone-sex orgasms aplenty. It’s so simultaneously hot and astonishing to me when someone knows my sex-brain well enough to be able to whip out a phrase or image that practically makes me come on the spot…!

• Another thing my new partner is into: hypnokink. Woof. I’m not quite sure to what extent being hypnotized is a sexy thing for me versus just a fun, relaxing, intimate thing – but there’s a lot of overlap between those two categories for me anyway (spanking, choking, and face-slapping, anyone?). I’m gonna write about this in more detail soon, because holy hell, we’ve been doing some interesting stuff.

• I’m in a new DD/lg dynamic! Eee! We just made it “official,” or whatever. It feels really good to be calling someone “daddy” again after avoiding that for quite a while due to getting my heart broken by my last daddy dom. I love and value this type of dominance so much and had missed it a lot. I’m so glad I found someone else I trust enough to go into “little space” with, and who is worthy of that trust.

Sexcetera

• This month I had, without exaggeration, one of the best dates of my life, involving a very nervous dinner at a very fancy restaurant, exceptionally good period sex involving lots of toys at a beautiful hotel, lots of new scratches and bruises, and waking up next to a mega-handsome boy. Throw me to the wolves. I wish upon all of you the magic and wonder and starry-eyed smittenness I got to feel this month.

• Some of my work elsewhere as of late: I wrote about women’s sexual fantasies and my sex spreadsheet for Glamour. Over at Ignite, I explored sexting, fantasies, orgasms, and vibrators. On our podcast, Bex and I discussed our 2018 sex goals, debated the merits of 69ing, and answered listeners’ questions.

Femme stuff

• Last month at the Pink Market, I bought a turquoise suede collar from L’Amour-Propre, and I’m absolutely enamored with it. Their suede is super comfortable and conforms to my skin nicely, making these collars good choices for all-day wear. I love how simultaneously bright and understated they are.

• On these bitterly cold days we’ve been having here in Toronto lately, there’s nothing like a hand-knit cowl to keep you cozy. My favorite one in my arsenal is a royal blue one my friend Cadence knitted me a few years ago. Its bold shade keeps me feelin’ optimistic even when it’s bleak as fuck outside.

• I haz a new Coach satchel and it’s so prettyyy. It’s kind of a strange robin’s-egg blue color, like the sky on a bright but cloudy day, and I’m into it.

Little things

Ringing in the new year with good friends, pastry straws, and a thorough spanking. Max buying me a Hippo Campus T-shirt and Dick buying me a Hippo Campus vinyl EP. “How’s your NRE doing?” Vanilla donuts as writing fuel. Exciting meetings with editors. Co-writing a song with my Sir. Going to the theatre with my mom. Sir seeing my journal in my bag and asking, “Can I touch it?” Blowjob experiments. Solo writing dates at ye olde greasy diner. Being interviewed by people who’ve done their research. Nerdy overanalytical aftercare. Bex picking me up at the airport with homemade cookies in tow. Bagels and cream cheese on Long Island. Elegant cocktails. Hearing Sir singing “Story Telling” in the shower. Subtle public D/s at an improv show. Mutual vulnerability. My new Hitachi-shaped pipe from Bex! Getting to write for a long-time dream publication of mine (just you wait!). Listening very fucking hard.

Monthly Favorites: Glass, Daddies, & Ganja

Kate Sloan

April was such a busy month, what with Feminist Porn Week and my semester at school coming to an end. I’m surprised I even had time to masturbate at all! (Okay, I’m not that surprised.) Here are some things I loved in my solo sexytimes this month…

Toys

• I finally got my hands on the new version of the We-Vibe Tango and it was everything I wanted it to be: almost identical to the old Tango but with a far less finicky battery/charger situation. Its exquisite vibrations rumbled my clit into a frenzy all month – and when I used it with the Dusk attachment, it was even able to induce hands-free orgasms! (More on that in a later post, I’d imagine…)

• I’ve been on a bit of a glass kick recently. This month I pulled out my Amethyst, which I got waaaay back in the day, and it got cozy with my G-spot plenty of times before the month was out. This dildo not only feels lovely but also looks great. I can’t resist blue glass!

• I’m still in love with my Fleshjack dildo. And duly impressed with my vagina for being able to handle it. You go, vagina!

Fantasy fodder

• Yep, still feelin’ Sherlock fanfiction. This month I enjoyed “At the Silken Altar” (Lestrade proving his gentlemanliness by letting Molly ride his face), “The School of the Seven Bells” (Sherlock and Molly and psychological bondage, oh my), and “Is He a Friend of Yours” (John roleplaying as Sherlock’s daddy). I also read some truly weird shit involving tentacles and alphas and omegas but I’m not sure how I feel about that yet…

• I saw this Heavenly Spire scene at one of the Feminist Porn Week screenings and it led to lots of fantasies about rough, anonymous gay male sex. Fuuuuck yesssss.

• (TW for weird age-play, incest, and dubious-consent stuff!) I’m thinking a lot about age-play lately, and specifically, Daddy/little-girl scenarios. Many of my orgasms this month were the result of fantasies involving phrases like, “Come on daddy’s cock now, sweetheart,” and “Is that your sweet spot, princess? Do you want daddy to touch it again?” This still feels very fucked up and guilt-infused for me, because of internalized kink-shaming and general weird feelings about my relationship with my actual dad, but I’m trying to be okay with it. Your fantasy life is just your fantasy life – can I get an amen?!

Et cetera

• This month was 4/20, the international weed holiday. I am by no means a pothead but I have dabbled in marijuana-aided masturbation from time to time. Normally I find it more weird than pleasurable, but sometimes you want weird, y’know? I gave it a couple more tries this month and it was definitely enjoyable, though I still feel it’s a bit overrated: I have friends who get hypersensitive when high, but I just tend to get spacey and hallucinatory.

• I tried to focus on self-seduction this month, because it was a stressful, busy time and I needed all the relaxation and pampering I could get. Scented candles, pink wine, and slow jams all helped me chillax for my self-love time. All I need now is satin sheets scattered with rose petals and maybe an on-call masseuse…

What were your faves this month?

Review: Fleshjack Boys Brent Everett Dildo

Kate Sloan

Lately I’ve told a few friends that I’m reviewing a sex toy for gay men, and they look at it and say, “But it’s just a dildo! Why is it for gay men?” and I say, “I KNOW, RIGHT?”

This is one of the weird things about the sex toy industry (and about some other industries too, for that matter). This product is marketed toward gay men but there’s literally nothing stopping a cis woman, or anyone else, from using it, so long as they like penetrative toys. The Fleshjack Boys line happens to be based off gay male porn stars but, duh, you don’t have to like or even know said porn stars to enjoy the toys moulded from their genitalia.

I was sent the Fleshjack Boys Brent Everett dildo. I’d been wanting to try a Fleshjack dildo for ages – devastatingly realistic dildos crafted in body-safe silicone, hellooo, that is so up my alley – and I chose this one based on its measurements. With its 7" of insertable length and 1.75" diameter, it’s big but not unreasonably so. I thought I could handle it and I was right.

Let it be said: this dildo is stunning. The craftsmanship is on point. It really looks like a flesh-and-blood dick: the texture and shape of the toy are all rendered in wonderfully intricate detail. Sometimes I look over at it sitting on my bedside table and just swoon a little because it’s like having an actual penis in the room with me.

However, obviously not everyone is into that. When I showed the Brent Everett to my friends who like realistic toys, they cooed and lit up. When I showed it to my friends who are turned off by male bodies and representational toys, they scrunched up their noses and told me to put the dildo away. It definitely has a polarizing effect on people, as real penises tend to do.

Fleshjack silicone is delightful. It’s got a lot of squish and give to it, but feels blissfully substantial in my vag. It’s not quite as realistic-feeling as VixSkin and it’s firmer than regular Vixen silicone but it’s more pliable than O2.

The base of the dildo is not a suction cup, but it’s very flat and tends to stick to flat surfaces slightly if you press it down, so you could set it up on a bathroom floor (or something) if you like to lower yourself down onto dildos and fuck ‘em that way.

For me, the main attraction of this dildo is that its coronal ridge is quite exaggerated and makes my G-spot convulse with glee. There is some milder texture along the remainder of the shaft, but that ridge is really the star of the show. It can be achingly intense if I neglect to warm myself up adequately, though.

Speaking of warm-up… Man, this thing is huge. My vagina is admittedly a wimp when it comes to size so I was surprised I could even get this dildo to fit inside me. Fortunately the tip is tapered and the toy’s material plays well with water-based lube so I’ve never had too much difficulty with it. I sort of gently jiggle it side-to-side as I insert it, making sure to incorporate clit stimulation at the same time, and I always get it inserted without pain. Sometimes there is some minor discomfort at first – “WOW, this is big” – but it’s nothing a little deep breathing and conscious muscle-relaxing can’t solve.

The actual in-and-out motion of the dildo is, as you might expect, very intense – in a good way. That ridge activates my G-spot instantly and the texture all along the shaft feels divine as it goes in and out. There is a subtle upward curve to the shaft which allows it to access my G-spot and A-spot more readily. The balls at the base are sometimes a little hard to keep ahold of, because they’re oriented away from my body instead of toward it, but it’s worth reaching a little farther because the balls are fun to squish and make a sturdy handle.

This is not the sort of dildo that I ram in and out of myself at top speed – the sensation is much too intense for that – but if you are inclined that way, I think it would work well for that, provided you can handle the size and the texture. The squishy silicone is comfortable and discourages injury.

Overall? I’m a little bit in love with this dildo. It is everything I want a realistic dildo to be. I’ve never seen a Brent Everett sex scene, but feel free to let him know I’m obsessed with his cock.

The Best and Worst Sex Toys of 2014

Kate Sloan

Having strong feelings about sex toys is kind of in my job description. I’ve been doing it all year long.

Normally I would write a wrap-up covering only toys that I reviewed this year, like I did for 2013. But I actually didn’t review as many toys this year, and most of the ones I did review, I didn’t like.

So, in lieu of doing a standard best-and-worst-of-the-year list, I’m just going to tell you what I loved and hated most this year, regardless of when I reviewed it or when it came out. Some classics are classic for a reason, y’know?

The best of the best

Best new vibrator: Pickings were slim this year as far as good new vibrators go. My favorite one I personally tried was the Revel Body SOL, though it still has its issues (like making me feel alternately overstimulated and understimulated until, finally, I somehow have an orgasm).

Best old vibrator: My ol’ faithful, the Eroscillator, still sits on my nightstand at all times (except when I’m using it, of course) and is the toy I reach for when I want to get off quickly and easily. Honorable mentions go to the always-satisfying, hella-rumbly We-Vibe Salsa and Tango, though I still hate their finicky charger (surely someone wants to gift me the new version for Christmas?!).

Best new dildo: The Tantus Slow Drive came out on top. I was pleasantly surprised by its G-spotting abilities and I liked that it comes in two different length options. The short purple one holds a place of honor on my desk at the moment.

Best old dildo: The Fleshjack Boys line has been out for years but I only recently fell in love with the magnificent monster of a cock that is the Brent Everett dildo. My review is coming soon; hold tight!

Best anal toy: I had neutral-to-negative feelings about every single anal toy I tried this year. (Dramatic, disappointed sigh.) So this award goes to my Njoy Pure Plug because a) it’s still terrific and b) it cured my constipation in June (in conjunction with some lube with possible laxative qualities).

Best harness: I’m not sure I’ve ever felt sexier than I do while wearing my Aslan Jaguar. Here’s hoping I’ll actually have occasion to use it in 2015!

The worst of the worst

Most painful toy: Oh god. My innards cringe at the memory. This title is jointly awarded to the Lelo Ida, which I compared to having a sharp rock in your vagina, and the Pipedream Metal Worx Luv Plug, which just did not get along with my buttcheeks in the slightest.

Worst marketing: I raged over the nauseatingly gendered marketing of Pink and Gun Oil lubes, and the fact that the “male” version is literally the exact same product but is cheaper. I also went “WTF” along with the whole sex blogosphere when Lelo launched the Pino; here’s Epiphora taking it to task.

Worst sex toy innovation: I love you, Tantus, but the Plunge paddle-dildo hybrid confused me and just did not work.

What sex products did you hate and love this year?