Fun Factory

The Best and Worst Toys of 2013

Kate Sloan

It’s that time, folks! Here are my favorite and least favorite toys I reviewed this year (some of which actually launched this year, some of which didn’t)…

Best G-spot dildo: Without a doubt, the Jopen Key Comet Wand. This silicone/glass hybrid launched early in the year and knocked the socks off most sex toy reviewers who tried it, myself included. It produces shockingly intense G-spot sensations and looks gorgeous all the while. (Available at Sex Toys Canada and Early to Bed.)

Best glass dildo: The SSA Glass Royal Adventure. Glass toys can be hit-or-miss, because a shitty design can make for a very uncomfortable or even painful toy – but the Royal Adventure suffers from none of these issues. Its corkscrew-like texture massages my vaginal walls and its slightly bulging head feels lovely on my G-spot. (Sadly no longer available; these are similar: Icicles no. 5, Mr. Swirly, Pink Swirled Delight.)

Best realistic dildo: The VixSkin Maverick. I finally got around to trying this one after worrying for months about whether or not my vagina would be able to accommodate it, and I surprised myself with my vaginal proficiency! The Maverick is an ultra-satisfying monster of a dildo, with a G-spot-pleasing mega-sized coronal ridge. It wears well in a harness, too! (Available at Lovehoney.)

Best vibrator: The Lelo Mona 2. I haven’t reviewed this one yet, but it was, without a doubt, the best vibrator of the year. Strong, rumbly, rechargeable, waterproof, quiet, versatile, elegant, and ergonomic. If you can only afford one vibrator, get this one. (Available at SheVibe, Sex Toys Canada, and Lovehoney.)

Best sex toy innovation: The Fun Factory Stronic Eins. There are no other toys on the market that pulsate like the Stronic line, though I’m sure there will be by this time next year, given the success of these toys. The Stronic Eins is the ultimate in lazy masturbation and is a dream come true for folks who fantasize about PIV sex. And it comes in an obnoxiously bright pink hue. (Available at Sex Toys Canada, Early to Bed and Lovehoney.)

Best kink implement: The Tantus silicone paddles. My favorite is the Wham Bam but you’ll get a rollicking good time out of any one of them. (Available at Tantus, Peepshow and Lovehoney.)

Worst dildo: Indubitably the Joyful Pleasures Joyful Plant. I requested it knowing I wouldn’t like it, and naturally, I didn’t. I mean, it’s shaped like a tiny eggplant. At least now I have a cool story to tell when people ask me about the weirdest toy I’ve ever reviewed. (No longer available)

Worst vibrator: It was a bad year for vibrators. Very few high-end (i.e. body-safe and rechargeable or electric) vibes launched, and those that did were mostly shitty. But the ones I hated most out of all the vibes I reviewed this year were the Leaf Spirit and Fun Factory LayaSpot. They were too weak to get me off, and I didn’t like their color schemes much either. (Leaf Spirit available at Sex Toys Canada. Fun Factory LayaSpot available at Sex Toys Canada and Lovehoney.)

Worst butt toy: The Something Forbidden plug. Literally one of the worst toys I have ever reviewed, in terms of safety and design. My butt still fears it. (Available at SheVibe and Lovehoney.)

Worst sex toy innovation: Another one I haven’t reviewed yet – the Lelo Ida. You’ll have to wait for my full review to come out, but for now, just know that I literally screamed in pain the first time I used it. (Available at SheVibe.)

Worst kink implement: The Sportsheets Doggie-Style Strap. I’m sure it would be useful for some folks, but my boyfriend and I got no benefit out of it whatsoever. I might try to work it into a future outfit as a pink cummerbund. (Available at SheVibe.)

Aaaand that’s a wrap! I’m going to take a little blogging break until the new year, methinks – and then I’ll be back with more sex toy reviews and sexual musings in 2014!

What were your favorite (and least favorite) toys of the year? What do you hope to see next year?

Review: Fun Factory LayaSpot

Kate Sloan

I was happy when I got offered a Fun Factory LayaSpot, because I’ve been wanting one ever since I saw one used in Sex is Fun’s “How to Use a Dildo” video. (Thanks, SiF, for teaching me how awesome it is to combine dildos with clit vibes when I was only 14!) I trusted that it would be a good toy if my favorite sex educators had used it.

Wrong. It’s actually just an average battery-powered vibe.

I’ve recently had the opportunity to try out a couple of Fun Factory’s older vibes, from back when they were still making battery-powered toys (as opposed to the amazing creations they churn out nowadays). I tried the LayaSpot and the old version of the Ocean, and both disappointed me. They are lacking in power and it makes my clit sad.

The LayaSpot’s first speed is so low, it’s laughable. It feels like there is an insect buzzing somewhere vaguely close to my skin.

The other speeds border on passable – they’re akin to the middling speeds on a rechargeable vibe, I guess – but they’re so buzzy that I go numb very quickly when I use ‘em. It also feels like the vibrations are somewhat buried in the toy, instead of being located at the surface where they should be.

There are a total of 8 speeds and 3 different modes of vibration. None of them have been enough to get me off, but my clit needs a fair amount of power. More sensitive anatomy might have an easier time with this toy.

To the LayaSpot’s credit, it is a very ergonomically and cleverly shaped toy. It feels good in the hand and curves nicely against the pubic mound, arcing right into the clit. I would have no objections whatsoever if Fun Factory was to update the LayaSpot and make it rechargeable, strong, and rumbly. I think it would easily be one of the best clit vibes available if they did that, especially for people who like their clit stimulation neither broad nor pinpointed but somewhere in between.

The non-porous and phthalate-free exterior of LayaSpot comes in about a zillion different colors. Mine is light pink and dark pink, but you can also get it in various other quirky combinations. Fun Factory’s color choices are always appreciable, as my lime green Patchy Paul and bright turquoise Ocean can attest.

Overall, while I really enjoy the LayaSpot’s shape, size, and appearance, its motor just doesn’t cut the mustard. The vibrations are too weak and surfacey to get me off, plus they’re fairly loud, despite FF’s marketing claims of a “strong, quiet” motor. I really wish they would overhaul this vibe as a rechargeable, because I would buy the shit out of that.

Review: Fun Factory Stronic Eins

Kate Sloan

The Stronic Eins is one of the most interesting and truly new sex toys that has been launched in a long time. And unlike most “revolutionary” toys, it’s actually as amazing as it claims to be.

For those of you who don’t know, this is no regular vibrator: instead of buzzing or rumbling, it thrusts. It moves back and forth in small but very noticeable motions. When you masturbate with it, it basically does the hard work for you. Brilliant, right?

I chose the hot pink one. It’s a great shade of pink, so hot it’s almost red. The toy feels sturdy and high-quality. Fun Factory’s silicone is always a drag (both literally and figuratively), but it’s nothing a little water-based lube can’t fix. The toy doesn’t come with a storage bag (which is frankly a bit shocking for a $200 product), so you may want to wrap it in a plastic baggie or something when you store it, to avoid the dreaded lint attack.

A strange thing I love about the Stronic is its buttons. It has three buttons – “Fun” (which turns it on and off) and a regular set of plus and minus buttons. They are dome-like, fun to press, and difficult to set off accidentally. This is always a good thing.

Like many other FF products, the Stronic charges via Click ‘n’ Charge. My toy came with a charger but apparently some don’t; it may depend on the retailer. Many places carry the charger separately for about $5, so it’s not a big deal to add one to your cart.

There is a nub toward the bottom of the toy’s shaft that is meant to stimulate the clitoris. While the shaft is inside me, there is no position or angle which could ever allow this nub to hit my clit in a million years. Fortunately, this isn’t the type of toy that gets my clit going anyway. (I use my Eroscillator for that.)

The tip of the Stronic barely curves up, and yet it’s astonishingly effective. It has to be positioned juuust right in order to hit my G-spot, but once I get it into place, it’s heavenly. (Hint: this is not a toy you should insert all the way into your vagina, like you might with a dildo, unless your G-spot happens to be super deep.)

The Stronic has a variety of different pulsation speeds and patterns: “samba,” “rattle,” “gallop,” and so on. Some are a steady back-and-forth, while some vary. I prefer my thrusting steady, so I use those modes almost exclusively. The higher settings get so fast that they start to feel almost like weak vibration instead of like thrusts, so I’m not really a fan of those – but the lower modes work beautifully.

I was very, very surprised by how well my vagina responds to the Stronic Eins. I get that pleasurable “need to pee” feeling almost immediately once the tip of the turned-on toy comes into contact with my G-spot. Combined with a great clit vibe, I can have intense blended orgasms in a short amount of time – every time. This toy homes in on my G-spot and just keeps on truckin’ until I’m done, which can’t always be said for a lover’s penis or even a dildo I’m thrusting with my own hand.

But that’s not to say that it’s better than those things. It’s just different. The Stronic doesn’t feel like a lover fucking your brains out, nor does it feel like getting slammed hard with a dildo. It’s a smaller, more delicate, more precise, more concentrated motion, sweeping right over my G-spot with each thrust.

The Stronic needs to be held in place or it’ll wiggle its way out of your vagina. You can’t hold it too tight, though, or the thrusting motion will be impeded. I like to lightly brace a couple of fingers against the toy’s handle to keep it from shimmying out of me; a pillow can also be used for this purpose.

It may look like a girthy toy, but keep in mind that you probably won’t be inserting it very deeply. It needs to go in just far enough for the tip to hit your G-spot, no further.

I’ll be honest: it’s hard to recommend a $200 sex toy. This is the most expensive toy I’ve ever reviewed and I’m trying very hard to imagine whether I would plonk down that kind of money if I hadn’t been sent the toy for free. Knowing what I know now, though, I think I would. There is absolutely nothing else like this toy on the market and it is worth the money if you like thrusting.

Buy the Stronic Eins if you want some low-effort lovin’ for your G-spot, and if you can contend with the $200 price tag, sticky silicone, and lack of a storage bag. It is worthy of your money.

Ask Girly Juice: Vibrator Recommendations

Kate Sloan

Anonymous asked: I’m writing to ask you to offer a suggestion that would have these attributes: cordless (preferably rechargeable), mostly clitoral, body-safe, variety of sensations and intensities, and design-conscious without breaking the bank. Thank you.

Okay, I think I can do that!

Lelo has a few that might work. The Mia 2 and Siri are both rechargeable, have a variety of modes and settings, and are not too pricey, particularly if you can find them on sale.

Vibratex makes the Mini Magic Wand, a rechargeable, multi-mode vibe that I haven’t tried but that gets pretty good reviews. I also know that masturbation guru Betty Dodson swears by the Mystic Wand, another massager-style vibe that has several different patterns and settings.

The We-Vibe Salsa and Tango might be on the upper end of your price range, but they are some of the best rechargeable clit vibes out there. Super rumbly, small, discreet, quiet, waterproof, and they have a few different modes.

If you want something that can also be inserted, the Fun Factory Little Paul is a good option (though, again, it might be at the top end of what you’re willing to spend if you’re on a budget). Fun Factory is known for its deep vibrations and adorable-looking toys.

Hope that helps!

Review: Fun Factory G4 Patchy Paul

Kate Sloan

Vibrators don’t really excite me that much anymore. I’ve tried so many, and sometimes it feels like they’re all the same. Y’know?

But the Patchy Paul definitely excited me. After it spent months languishing in my wishlist, I finally decided to snap it up… and it delivered.

Fun Factory, particularly their line of G4 vibrators, is known for reeeeally intense and rumbly vibrations. This is not your mama’s vibrator (well, maybe it should be, because she would probably like it too!). This is a badass creation filled with pleasure potential.

Sometimes people ask me, “What can I get that has the power of a Hitachi without the dependence on an electrical outlet?” That’s a very tall order, and I’m not convinced that anything really fits the bill, but probably the closest is either a large Smart Wand or a G4 vibe. If your favorite masturbation accoutrements are slightly reminiscent of a jackhammer, you’ll love the motor in any G4 toy.

But why specifically the Patchy Paul? I chose it because I like texture, but not an insane amount of texture, and I also appreciate some G-spot lovin’. The Paul looks like a caterpillar, with a body that strokes your vaginal walls and a head that nuzzles your G-spot. It even has a little face – perfect for all you caterpillar fetishists out there. (Kidding. Those people aren’t reading this; they’re off looking at a nature blog somewhere. Duh.)

The Patchy Paul is rechargeable, 100% waterproof, and made of body-safe plastic and silicone. The only thing I don’t dig about it is that the vibrations are focused toward the middle of the shaft, not the tip of the toy where they ought to be… but they’re so strong that it doesn’t really affect my experience. I can use this toy vaginally or clitorally and either way, it rocks my ladyparts’ world.

The Patchy Paul has now officially become my favorite G-spot vibrator, right up there with the Lelo Mona. If you can get past its creepy caterpillar face, the two of you might end up being very happy together.