Funzze

My preferences for clit-sucker toys are so specific, I can usually tell if I’ll like one just by looking at it. And as soon as I saw the Funzze Pink “O” Clitoral Sucker, I figured it would get along well with my clit – and I was correct about that.

(Don’t you wish it worked that way with human clit-suckers, too? Like gaydar but for pussy-eating skills… I’m sure my adventures on Tinder in my twenties would have been a lot more satisfying if I had cunnilingual clairvoyance!)

What is the Funzze Pink “O” Clitoral Sucker?

This cute little toy uses air-pulse technology, also known as pressure-wave technology, to stimulate the clit with rhythmic waves of air. While companies often refer to these toys as clit-suckers, they don’t actually apply suction in the way that something like a clit pump does – but some people describe them as feeling like oral sex nonetheless.

This Funzze air-pulse toy is made of silicone and ABS plastic, retails for $33.99, and runs for about an hour on an hour-long charge.

Things I like about the Funzze Pink “O” Clitoral Sucker:

It can get me off, no problem! To me, this toy’s air waves feel more like rumbly vibration that surrounds the tip of my clit. They’re low-pitched enough that I can feel them both on the surface of my skin and more deeply in the internally-buried parts of my clit. This leads to orgasms that are intense, deep, and fully felt – unlike orgasms from the buzzy vibration or weak pressure waves found on many other toys at this price point. I actually said “Whoa” out loud after coming with this toy for the first time, because I was that surprised 😂
The reason I requested this toy to review is that it has a larger mouth than most other toys in its category, a quality my clit tends to prefer. The hole has a diameter of 1.4 cm, or just over half an inch. That’s nearly as big as the mouth of my beloved Lelo Sila – although the Funzze toy’s mouth is only about 1.1 cm (0.43″) deep, versus the Sila’s mouth depth of 1.5 cm (0.59″), so I wouldn’t recommend this Funzze toy for anyone who has a large clit or who wants their whole clitoral shaft stimulated. The Sila is still better for those cases, albeit wayyyy more expensive.
This toy’s mouth has softly rounded silicone edges, which makes it comfortable to use and allows it to maintain a better seal around my clit, even if I writhe around a little during a session. (Always use lube – ideally a water-based formula – with pressure-wave toys, by the way! They feel a lot better and are less prone to causing irritation that way.)
It won’t be to everyone’s tastes, but I like this toy’s lovecore-y aesthetic! The heart-shaped button is cute, and I appreciate that it’s made of grippy silicone, while the rest of the toy’s body is made of glossy ABS plastic, so the button is easy to locate by feel and to keep a good grip on, even with lubey fingers.
At just 3.6″ tall by 2″ wide, this toy is petite and therefore arguably travel-friendly; it doesn’t have a travel-lock function, but it does come with a drawstring storage bag for travel.
It only costs $34! Honestly pretty rare for a toy at that price point to make me come 😆

Things I don’t like about the Funzze Pink “O” Clitoral Sucker:

This toy has 8 settings, with just one button to cycle through all of them – and bafflingly, the settings are 2 steady speeds followed by 6 annoyingly inconsistent patterns. The patterns could be good if you love tease & denial, but personally, I mostly reach for sex toys when I want satisfaction, not frustration! Those of us who prefer steady speeds (which is most users) generally appreciate having more than just 2 to choose from – especially since this toy starts off fairly intense, so I have to get myself turned on using my hand (or another toy) before I’ll be able to enjoy this one.
Like most pressure-wave toys, this one’s mouth is sized such that it’ll only focus on the tip of your clit, if your clit is medium-to-large. I prefer indirect clitoral stimulation so I usually prefer to use these toys through my clitoral hood, which, to be fair, is entirely doable with this toy.
This toy is louder than I was expecting, for how petite it is. Even when its mouth is full of clit, it makes a somewhat grating buzzing noise, albeit one that likely couldn’t be heard through a closed door.
I think this toy is slightly too bulky, depth-wise, to fit well between bodies in the missionary position (whether for PIV or strap-on sex). You could manage it with an adapted position that allows for slightly more space between your pelvises.
Confusingly, the toy’s product page says it’s fully waterproof, while its manual and product specs say it’s only splashproof. (I suspect this may be the result of poor A.I. translation, as is common these days, but who knows.) In any case, I wish this toy was fully waterproof as its webpage claims, because I like using clit stimulators in the bath sometimes.

Final thoughts

I am always on the lookout for pressure-wave toys at an affordable price point, because many people want to try them, but (reasonably!) don’t want to drop $150+ on a really nice one when they don’t even know if they’ll enjoy the sensation. To that end, I’m glad that the Funzze Pink “O” Clitoral Sucker only costs $34, because that means that more people get to access the pleasures of this type of toy!

That being said, only having two steady speeds is a pretty big flaw, since most users prefer them (according to various informal Twitter polls that I and my colleagues have run over the years, anyway). This toy’s noise level also makes it tough to recommend for anyone who needs utmost discretion or just prefers quieter toys.

But I can’t deny that this toy brings me to some sharply intense orgasms. Its laser-focused clitoral directness isn’t always what I’m in the mood for – but it’s a sweet, cute, ultra-portable little mouth that can make me come and only costs $34, and I think that’s pretty neat.

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

More companies should make sex toys that people with disabilities can use, because accessible sex toys are just better – and not only for folks with disabilities, but for everyone. Let me explain.

My spouse once gave a talk about accessibility in software, in which she described the curb cut effect: the phenomenon where features developed to be disability-friendly will end up benefiting a much larger population, too. Think, for example, of how an automatic sliding door can improve accessibility for people who use wheelchairs or mobility scooters, while at the same time, making it easier for able-bodied people to walk through the door if they’re, say, carrying two armloads of groceries, or wheeling their child in a stroller.

By that same token, I’m strongly in favor of more sex toy companies developing products that are accessible to all kinds of people, because we all benefit from those types of design choices, sometimes even in unexpected ways. Let’s talk about one such case, the Funzze Finger Vibe.

What is the Funzze Finger Vibe, and why is its accessible design potentially beneficial for everyone?

Funzze’s got quite a wide catalog of products, but the Finger Vibe caught my eye immediately, because it looked like it would be comfortable for me to hold, even on days when my hands are aching from fibromyalgia. It’s shaped like a fairly standard clitoral vibe, except that it has two little “wings” on the back which allow you to hold the toy between two fingers easily, without needing to apply much pressure to keep the vibe anchored in your hand. This could make this toy potentially much easier to use than standard clit vibes for people who struggle with muscle strength/mobility issues and/or chronic pain in their hands, myself included.

That being said, even if you’re able-bodied and able-handed(!), you can still find value in toys like these. Anyone seeking an “unobtrusive” toy, a toy that lets you forget you’re even using a toy, might consider getting a finger vibe – because once you’re accustomed to how the toy feels in your hand, it can (sometimes) feel like you’re just touching your partner (or yourself) the way you normally would, but with some vibration magically infused into your touch. It can be a much more intuitive and “natural”-feeling way of working some vibration into the mix.

But to sum up the actual specs: the Finger Vibe is a rechargeable, silicone and ABS plastic vibrator with 9 vibration settings.

Things I like about this toy

First of all, I feel like I need to mention upfront that it costs THIRTY DOLLARS. That’s a steal for a decent and versatile rechargeable vibe, and I have to keep its price point in mind when assessing it.
I really like the design of it, on both visual and tactile levels, from the stylized silicone “wings” that remind me of butterflies, to the shiny plastic heart panel just below them, to the way the toy feels in my hand. It’s comfortable, cute, and cool. My hand never gets tired from holding onto it, and it’s easy on the eyes, too. The wings have enough flexibility that they should be able to fit a broad range of finger sizes, and they’re designed in such a way that I almost never lose my grip on the toy.
Specifically, I really like the contoured shape of the part that goes on your clit (or whatever other pinpointed body part you’re aiming this toy at). It’s well-shaped for the purpose and allows me to hit my clit without needing to hold my labia out of the way, as some flatter vibes require.
Crucially, the button is placed in a location that actually makes sense. I’ve previously tried a vibe very similar to this one, which had a button in a hard-to-reach location that required me to use my other hand to press it, every single time. With this one, the button is located comfortably within reach of my middle fingertip when I’m holding the toy, but it’s tucked out of the way just enough that I never hit it by accident.
It’s waterproof, which is always great. I could see this toy being a fun addition to shower sex, for people who are into that, because the grippy silicone wings would help it stay in place between your fingers. (Funzze’s website describes this toy as giving you “easy, no-slip control, even when wet and frantic.” Now that’s good copy, baby!)

Things I don’t like about this toy

The biggest issue, unfortunately, is the motor. It’s buzzy, i.e. the vibrations are higher-pitched and more surface-level than I’d prefer, so I end up feeling a bit numb after a minute or two, and the orgasms are never as satisfying as they would otherwise be. However, stroking the vibe up and down or in circles, as if it were a vibrating fingertip (which is probably the intended way to use it), mitigates these effects to some extent – and I do have to point out here again that this toy costs thirty dollars, so I understand why the motor’s not exactly heavy-duty.
While there are 9 vibration settings, only the first 3 of them are steady vibration, and the jumps between them are jarringly wide; the next 6 are patterns, many of which are distractingly erratic. You have to cycle through all 9 settings to get back to the first one, a personal pet peeve of mine.
Despite the button’s good placement, I sometimes find it too difficult to press with one finger, which can negate some of the toy’s accessibility at times.
It’s a little on the loud side, as buzzy vibrators tend to be, especially on its highest setting.

Final thoughts

If they put a deep, rumbly motor in the Funzze Finger Vibe, it would earn an immediate upgrade to the top drawer of my nightstand, and would probably stay there for a very long time. The design of this toy is sleek and thoughtful, and I find it comfortable to use most of the time, which I can’t say for a lot of vibrators.

For all its sexy unobtrusiveness in size, shape, and ergonomics, though, its buzzy motor and notable noise level put a bit of a damper on things.

But for $30, I think the Finger Vibe is a fair deal, and I always love to see more companies making sex toys that are accessible to a wide range of people – accessible not only in terms of disabilities, but also in terms of finances. And to that end, this is a highly heartening little vibrator that I think could add some buzzy pizzazz into a lot of people’s sex lives, without breaking the bank – or their fingers.

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.