Review: Jopen Key Comet Wand

The Jopen Key Comet Wand is the must-have sex toy of 2013.

Yeah, I said it.

In previous years, everyone clamored over intriguing G-spot treasures like the Njoy Pure Wand, VixSkin Mustang, and Lelo Ella. And while I still love those toys, their time in the limelight is more-or-less over. The Comet Wand is the hot new star on the scene.

It has what is widely considered the holy trifecta of epic G-spot stimulation: a severe curve, a big bulbous head, and unrelenting firmness. This combination works for many people but you’ll want to look at your past experiences with G-spot toys to figure out if the Comet Wand is right for you. Some people have issues with curved toys catching on their pubic bone during thrusting, for example.

The Comet Wand is also too girthy for beginners, and even sometimes for me. It’s 1 ½" across at the widest point, and is 100% firm with no give whatsoever, so it’s certainly not a wimp, size-wise (but it’s not huge either).

That said, if your anatomy can contend with the Comet Wand’s size and curve, and if you like G-spot stimulation, you will freak the fuck out over this toy, guaranteed.

It provides some of the most intense G-spot sensations I’ve ever, ever encountered. I don’t squirt, but I can tell that if I did, this toy would be the catalyst of some very messy adventures. It feels so astonishingly good that sometimes I set down my clitoral vibe mid-session and just luxuriate in the sensations emanating from my vagina. That is not something that happens often for me.

The Comet Wand is made of glass dipped in smooth silicone. The glass gives it its firmness, while the silicone stops it from feeling deathly cold when you first touch it to your body. I love this combination of materials, though I will say that this particular formulation of silicone seems to eat lube like nobody’s business. I typically have to reapply at least 2 or 3 times per session. It’s worth it for me, but if you’re stingy with your lube, stay away from this dildo.

The only other real concern I have about the Comet Wand is the seam where the glass part meets the silicone. There’s a small dip that goes all the way around the toy and seems a likely culprit for collecting lube and juices. My G-spot is shallow enough that I haven’t ever needed to insert the Comet Wand that far, but liquids could still conceivably drip down into that crack, so get out your old toothbrush when it’s time for cleaning.

Other than those few issues, though… the Comet Wand is pretty close to perfect. It effortlessly strokes the fuck out of my G-spot and makes me thank my lucky stars I was born with a vagina. When sex toy reviewers look back on 2013 in a few years, they’ll think of the Comet.

Review: Icicles No. 24

Pipedream’s Icicles collection is notorious for ripping off other people’s designs. However, I’ve never seen anything like the Icicles No. 24 anywhere else. It’s a pink tentacle. A gnarled tongue. A glass octopus cock. My curiosity was piqued the moment I saw it.

Conscious Contraceptives was nice enough to send me one, and when I took it out of the box, I just fondled it for a while. It’s kind of scary; the bottom side bears two long rows of pointy-ish bumps, and the top side has some tree branch-like lines carved into it. It’s one of those toys that could either be amazingly pleasurable or unprecedentedly painful. My vag was nervous.

But actually, this is a pretty awesome dildo. Sure, you need to use a boatload of lube on it, or your delicate internal tissues could snag uncomfortably on the ultra-mega texture all over this toy. But once lubrication is taken care of, the Icicles No. 24 provides some very unique and very intense sensations.

I prefer to use the dildo with the handle facing up toward my clit. This puts the bumps on the bottom side of my vag, where I can’t feel them as intensely – and this is a good thing, because even when I face them upward, they hit the perimeter of my G-spot without actually rubbing the spot itself. The feeling of those bumps took some getting used to, especially since that part of my vagina rarely gets much attention at all, but a few well-lubed practice sessions taught me to enjoy all that texture.

The top side of the toy is less texture-heavy, boasting an interconnected web of ridges that can definitely be felt but are never uncomfortable the way the bumps can be. The shape of the toy puts those ridges riiiight on my G-spot, while the tip curves downward into my posterior fornix. There’s not as much sexual sensitivity there as there is in my anterior fornix, but it still feels nice.

The curved handle is easy to hold onto, though I usually just grip it in my fist instead of bothering with the fingerhole. If the handle is intended to stimulate my clit, it’s a fail; I have to push the toy in uncomfortably far for that to happen. Besides which, it’s bumpy glass, which isn’t my clit’s favorite thing in the first place.

Overall, I’m fairly shocked by how much I like the Icicles No. 24. It’s not going to be my new go-to dildo or anything, but it surpassed my expectations. It might surpass yours too, if you like glass, texture, and tentacles, and you’ve got lube to spare.

Thanks so much to Conscious Contraceptives for sending me this toy! Check out their mission statement – a portion of their profit from every purchase is donated toward helping underprivileged communities get the contraceptives they need. Shop for sex toys and help the world!

Review: Icicles No. 2

The icicles No. 2 dildo is like a tall, muscular, handsome guy you meet at a party. As he charms you with easy flirtation, you think about sleeping with him; you imagine he probably looks fantastic naked and has a big, thick cock. But at the same time, you know his good looks may have allowed him to squeak by without picking up the sexual skills you’ll need to be satisfied. He likely knows how to use his dick well, but maybe that’s all he knows how to do. And as good-looking as he is, a lack of creativity and versatility would make him a bore in bed.

That is to say: the Icicles No. 2 is a beautiful dildo, and it feels good in use, but it doesn’t do anything particularly new or exciting or even satisfying.

The Icicles line, by Pipedreams, is the mass-produced answer to all those small companies making hand-blown glass toys. The “big guys” don’t always pay as much attention to quality as the little guys do, and I’ve heard some bad stories about the Icicles line – mainly that some of the paint will sometimes flake off the colored dildos. For this reason, I chose an Icicles model that had no color, and was fairly straight-ahead.

Icicles No. 2 actually kind of looks like an icicle, unlike many of its brothers and sisters. It consists of several ripply bulbs, ranging in size from ¾" to 1 ½" – it measures 8 ½" from end to end, so it’s quite big. I can only fit about half of it inside me comfortably.

My overwhelming impression of this toy is that it doesn’t know what it wants to be. The big end feels good in my vagina for the first little while, but eventually I crave a thicker shaft with more G-spotting capabilities. The small end, on the other hand, feels good when inserted anally, but the toy doesn’t have a flared base, so I worry about using it that way. I feel like Pipedreams should have picked one specific purpose for this toy, whether that be vaginal or anal stimulation, and added features to improve the toy for that use. As is, it’s a little “meh” in either orifice.

Another obnoxious thing about Icicles toys is that they don’t come with storage bags. The packaging is nice, and includes a thick styrofoam insert to protect the toy during transit, but there really isn’t any excuse for selling glass toys without padded bags to keep them in. I’ve been keeping this dildo in the styrofoam it came in, but that’s big and bulky, so I’ll have to come up with another solution soon (maybe I’ll wrap it in an old shirt?). Hey Pipedreams, even tiny, independent toy makers have figured out the importance of including storage options; why haven’t you?

The biggest ball is my favorite part of the toy, because it hits my G-spot very nicely when it first slides in. If the entire dildo consisted of 1 ½" balls, it’d probably be my new favorite glass toy. It still wouldn’t be especially exciting or interesting, but at least it’d be good.

If you want a long, ripply, glass wand that can be used anally or vaginally, to pleasant effect, the Icicles No. 2 could be your new best friend. But if you’ve already felt glass ripples, this one probably won’t impress you too much, and you’d be better off getting something more unique (maybe the tentacle-like Icicles No. 24, or the G-spot champion Bent Graduate). Glass is fun, easy to take care of, and feels great, but toy manufacturers will have to be more creative than the Icicles No. 2 if they want to continue to do well.

Review: Ttamage Large Smiley Dildo (vs. Njoy Pure Wand)

When Matthew of Ttamage offered me my choice of item to review, I combed through his entire shop looking for anything that caught my eye… and when I saw the Large Smiley Dildo (hereafter referred to as the LSD – ha!), I knew it was meant to be.

I actually mainly requested it because of its resemblance to the Njoy Pure Wand, a toy I’d been flagrantly lusting after. Little did I know, I’d soon become a proud Pure Wand owner – and the two dildos would arrive in my mailbox on the same day! Naturally, I had to immediately snap a photo (see above).

I spent the next several days testing out both dildos (my life is so hard, huh?). And I’ve determined that the LSD is a great Pure Wand alternative, for anyone who can’t shell out the $100+ or just doesn’t like the Wand’s heaviness.

As you can see from the photo, the two dildos share a very similar curve. I’m not sure if this was an intentional Njoy homage on Ttamage’s part, but either way, it’s brilliant. The LSD, like the PW, goes straight for my G-spot – and because glass is firm like steel, it can deliver the same amount of deliberate pressure, too. I don’t think my G-spot can really tell the difference between the two toys; it just knows it’s being deliciously pounded.

The LSD is quite big, as its name would imply: it’s eight inches from end to end (in a straight line, not measured along the curve). I can’t even fit half of it inside me. This means that it offers a larger “handle” in use. This, in addition to its much lighter weight, might make it a better choice than the Pure Wand for someone who has issues with mobility or whose wrists get tired easily. Thrusting and rocking the LSD is a walk in the park compared to manoeuvring the unwieldy Pure Wand.

At the same time, though, that weight does have its benefits. Many people find that it allows the PW to put additional delicious pressure on the G-spot. If you need that weight-driven momentum that only a steel toy can provide, the LSD isn’t going to be much of a substitute.

Now, let’s talk about balls. The Pure Wand’s big ball is 1 ½", and its small ball is 1". I find that the big is too big and the small is too small. The bigger side stimulates my G-spot beautifully when I do get it in, but it’s not always comfortable to insert or remove – and I certainly can’t remove it in a hurry, which I might need to do if/when I learn to squirt. The LSD’s knobs are both 1 ½" wide as well, but they have more of a tapered shape, which makes insertion and removal easier. One of the balls is pointier than the other, so you can have a bit of variety if you want it.

In terms of care and upkeep, these toys are about equal. Glass and steel are both nonporous, body-safe, boilable, bleachable, and soapable. This also means that lube goes a long way with both of these materials – they’re pretty drag-free. I find that steel retains heat for longer than glass, but that’s not particularly important to me; if you like temperature play, you might lean slightly towards the Pure Wand on that point.

At $45, the Large Smiley Dildo isn’t going to deplete your wallet nearly as much as the Pure Wand. It’s easier to wield, and easier to insert. It may not feel as luxurious, or bring the heftiness of steel to its performance, but it is a damn good dildo and I use it pretty much interchangeably with my beloved Pure Wand.

A zillion thank-yous to Matthew from Ttamage for sending me this stunning dildo to review! Check out his incredibly elegant, handmade glass dildos and massagers, and let him know I sent you!

Review: SSA Glass Amethyst

The Amethyst has been on my wishlist for a long time. I could tell you I wanted it because it’s made of smooth, nonporous pyrex glass, or because of its G-spotting abilities… but honestly, the reason I wanted it is that it comes in a gorgeous, rich shade of royal blue – my favorite color in the world.

Okay, maybe that’s not the best justification for buying sex toys – but that’s okay, because this dildo turned out to be wonderful, despite the lack of sound reasoning that went into me requesting it.

Confession time: I’m something of a G-spotting beginner. Sure, I’ve tried the Ella, and doggie-style is my favorite position because of what it does to my insides, and I’ve had my boyfriend reduce me to a puddle of moaning bliss by forcefully rubbing my spot with his lube-drenched fingers… but somehow, I still feel like a total novice in this area. I can’t always accurately locate my own spot, and even with a partner, I find it very difficult to relax into the weird, new, sometimes uncomfortably intense sensations of G-spot play. Sometimes it feels like I’m approaching an orgasmic breakthrough, but then I get nervous that I’m going to pee on the sheets, so I freak out and tense up. Bummer.

Everyone tells me that I just need to relax, and put those worries out of my mind. And I figure the best way to do that is to do it alone. I’m certainly not going to judge me if I pee all over myself.

But back to the Amethyst… It’s gorgeous. Initially I thought it looked remarkably small, but of course, it’s not meant to be a filling fuck. It comes packaged in a red velvet pouch, perfect for storage.

The Amethyst is a dead ringer for the much-lauded Don Wands Bent Graduate – same shape, roughly the same size. Its G-spotting end, which I thought looked too curved and pointy-headed to possibly be comfortable (let alone pleasurable), actually slides right into me and locates my spot immediately. It’s disarmingly good at homing in on where it’s supposed to go.

The other end, just a series of ripples, feels very nice too, but I already have a dildo that’s almost identical to this side, so I didn’t find it especially exciting. It’s just enough yummy texture to be good for warm-up, but it can’t provide the G-spot pressure I crave when I get into the higher stages of arousal.

For me, at least, glass is a perfect material for a G-spotting toy. It’s firm and unyielding, so it can really press hard, unlike Ella. It’s completely nonporous, so any lube you use on it (water- or silicone-based) is going to work like a charm and make it ultra-slippery. It’s easy to sanitize, via boiling, antibacterial soap and water, or a 10% bleach rubdown. Plus, glass is just beautiful in a way that other toys can’t replicate.

I was definitely tempted to try out this toy anally, but the fact is, it’s not made for that. It doesn’t have a flared base, and because it’s so slippery, it would be easy to get it lost up there. But when even my ass is lusting for something, you know it’s a pretty hot toy.

I still haven’t been able to have G-spot orgasms or squirt, but this is the toy that’s brought me closest. It cups my spot, presses hard, is easy to thrust… It’s a G-spotter’s wet dream. I’ve had a few clitoral orgasms while using the Amethyst to squeeze and tease my G-spot, and it adds an extra layer of intensity to the experience.

I’d definitely recommend the Amethyst to someone who, like me, sometimes has trouble locating their G-spot, and/or just wants to apply a decent amount of pressure to it. It’s a toy that’s easy to care for, does its job well, looks great, and leaves me satisfied.