Hope your July has gone well! Here are some of the things I enjoyed most this month…
Media
• Melissa Broder, of “So Sad Today” fame, has a new novel out called Milk Fed which I loved. It’s about disordered eating, “mommy issues,” sapphic lust, and frozen yogurt, among other things.
• I finally got around to reading Allison Moon’s book on casual sex, Getting It, and I have to say – it’s an instant classic, worthy of being recommended alongside sex-world faves like Come As You Are and another book of Allison’s, Girl Sex 101. Buy a copy for anyone in your life who wants to improve their casual sex skills!
• Have you seen the game show Sexy Beasts on Netflix yet? It’s an extremely weird dating reality show where all the contestants have to wear horrible prosthetics that make them look animals, aliens, etc. which is supposed to encourage them to judge their prospective partner(s) on personality rather than looks. I wrote about it here. Definitely an interesting watch for sex nerds…
• It was cool seeing Bo Burnham’s Inside on the big screen at a local movie theatre this month. Interesting to see a film in that format that was clearly made for much smaller screens. Shout-out to the person at my screening who sang along with every word of the song “Shit”; I, too, find that to be the most relatable song in the whole special…
Products
• I’m typing this post on my new KnewKey keyboard. It is GORGEOUS. These devices are designed to look, feel, and sound like an old typewriter (albeit without requiring a ton of hand strength like my actual typewriter does), and so they make typing into a much more sensorily satisfying experience. There is something about the rhythm of clacking keys that seems to help me enter the flow-state trance of creativity much more easily. (If you want to buy your own, you can get $10 off with the coupon code “KATE” – neat!)
• As I mentioned earlier this month, I bought a cane recently. I’ve only needed to use it a few times so far, but I love having the option – and it helps that it’s very pretty! I would definitely recommend Fashionable Canes if you’re in the market for one. They were able to customize the size of mine to suit my height at no extra charge; I just had to measure myself and submit my info. Wonderful!
• I had been wanting a new desk chair for a while, because my old one was making my body ache. I finally ordered the Albin chair from Wayfair, which I liked because its aesthetic is fairly minimalistic but still fun (that pop of royal blue, swoon!), it fit the dimensions of the spot under my desk, and it seemed reasonably easy to assemble (a handywoman I am not). It was indeed pretty easy to put together, and I love that now I can sit comfortably at my desk for hours at a time!
• I got a new webcam – the Logitech C920S – and I love that it has a built-in privacy shutter, so I don’t constantly have to fret that hackers are watching me eat soup while I watch Twitch streams at 2 a.m.
• My love bought me a black leather pair of Louboutins as a findom task, and they are truly stunning. Super high heels, peeptoe, cute little knot detail in front. I’ve been enjoying wearing them around the house while cleaning, reading, etc. like a glamorous 1950s housewife.
Work & Appearances
• My episode of the Bawdy podcast came out! Tune in to hear a true story from my life about romance, mental illness, and espionage.
• The marvelous Mx. Nillin wrote a review of a blowjob porn video I starred in. It’s so full of compliments that I’m blushing just thinking about it!
• Speaking of people reviewing my content… Hollie April wrote some really sweet things about the Dildorks over on DiscoverPods.
• I received some physical copies of my book and it is soooo gorgeous in person. Preorder it here if you wanna learn about kink or just want to see the project I’ve been working on for the last couple years!
• My latest piece for the Insider was a deep-dive on condoms. I interviewed a urologist, a condoms expert, and a smattering of clever sex educators. Their wisdom, as well as my own tests with my partner, enabled me to list what I think is the best condom in each category – larger, smaller, for oral sex, for people with latex sensitivities, and so on.
• Here’s a column I wrote for Herizons magazine a few months ago, about when a recently-outed abuser’s ex-partner comes forward to either contrast or corroborate the allegations against him. It’s a piece that’s ultimately kinda about the false dichotomy of goodness versus badness, and the complicated ways in which we can experience differing versions of the same realities. (Content note: discussions of rape/assault, sexual abuse/harassment, and victim-blaming.)
• Recently on the Dildorks, we talked about sexual rejection, romantic rejection, polyamory Q&A, problems from the sex subreddit, coming out to your family, revitalizing your sex drive, and relationships with exes.
• Some of our recent guests on Question Box were musical theatre experts Emily Clark & Christi Esterle, queer cultural critic Matt Baume, video game YouTuber NintendoCapriSun, our friend Georgia, xBummerxBoysx hosts Alex Kolanko & Mike Carrozza, audio artist Mustin, and sex blogger Amy of Coffee & Kink.
• Some of my recent newsletters were about Sexy Beasts, Eyes Wide Shut as cuckolding porn, my current feelings about privacy online, pleasuring balls, the kinkiest movie I’ve ever seen, cult leaders’ usage of hypnosis, the “multiple intelligences” theory, the undeniable hotness of flirting, and what having celebrity crushes is like as a demisexual.
Good Causes
• The recent news about Simone Biles dropping out of the Olympics has prompted lots of conversations about mental health, and specifically, about Black women’s mental health. In light of that, why not donate to an organization aimed at helping improve Black folks’ lives, like the Foundation for Black Women’s Wellness or the Black Health Alliance?
• I found out a fact I didn’t know recently, which is that domestic violence surges in England after big sports games. Ugh. Some UK-based organizations that support domestic violence victims: the Refuge Against Domestic Violence (women-focused) and Galop (LGBTQ-focused).
• My city, Toronto, has been treating homeless folks horrendously lately (and, let’s be real, always). Covenant House is an organization that helps homeless youth in Toronto.
• The incomparable Lil Nas X has joined forces with the Bail Project to help incarcerated folks; donate to his bail fund here.