lube

Lube Week, Day 1: Sliquid Sassy Booty

Kate Sloan

It turns out that I have lots of backlogged lube reviews at the moment – so I figured I’ll just get ‘em done all in a row, in an entire week of lube reviews! (I know, not everyone finds lube a fascinating thing to read about. Hopefully you’ll find some value in these, and if not, then hopefully you’ll tune out until next week when I’m back to your normally scheduled programming!)

First up: Sliquid Sassy Booty, sent to me by the lovely and charitable folks at Conscious Contraceptives.

I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that Sliquid is the best of all the popular brands of lube today – at least, if you and/or your partner has a vagina. All of their products are free of glycerine, propylene glycol, parabens, and all the other gross stuff that shouldn’t go anywhere near anyone’s vag.

Sassy Booty is a thick gel lubricant. It has only a few ingredients (purified water, plant cellulose, cyamopsis, potassium sorbate, and citric acid), all of which are vegan and totally okay to put inside you.

It’s completely devoid of all scent and taste, which really surprised me. If you’ve been seeking an utterly tasteless, unscented lube, this is a great option.

As you might have guessed from the name, Sassy Booty is designed for anal play. Personally, I hesitate to recommend any water-based lube for anal use, because they dry up so fast when compared to other kinds of lube – but if you find yourself looking for a lube that can safely be used with a silicone anal toy, Sassy Booty is probably the best you’re gonna find.

Most water-based lube will last about two minutes without any additional lubrication. Sassy Booty, on the other hand, can last up to five or six minutes without adding any moisture. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but it’s practically unheard of for a water-based lube. The only other one I own which can compare is Blossom Organics, which has been my go-to lube for months and months.

The texture is very slick and wet, but not drippy. It leaves a slightly sticky residue once it’s dried down, which is easily taken care of with a wet wipe or a quick wash with soap and water.

Anyone seeking a good water-based lube should definitely consider Sliquid Sassy Booty, even for non-anal purposes. It holds up better than any other water-based lube I’ve tried, and is totally body-safe and non-irritating. Just don’t expect it to work as well as a silicone-based lube for anal play; you’re still going to have to re-lube your butt plug every half hour to stay comfortable if you use Sassy Booty.

Thanks so much to Conscious Contraceptives for sending me this snazzy lube! Did you know that they are philanthropists in the world of contraceptive distribution? Plus their prices are awesome. You should shop there!

Review: Sliquid Swirl

Kate Sloan

At first blush, Sliquid Swirl seems too good to be true. It’s a natural, hypoallergenic lube that also happens to be flavored and glycerine-free. On top of all that, it also doesn’t contain any parabens or propylene glycol, both gross health offenders that are found in most lubes.

As a result of being devoid of all these nasties, Swirl is a legitimately vagina-friendly flavored lube, a title that’s pretty much akin to “unicorn” in the world of commercial lubricants. So before we go any further, I have to tell you: I approve of this lube. It’s automatically better than 99% of the lubes you will find, if you and/or your partner have a vagina, purely because of its ingredients.

The flavor I scored from PinkCherry.ca is pink lemonade; Swirl also comes in other delicious-sounding varieties like green apple and cherry vanilla. Considering how many flavored lube brands produce only one-note tastes like vanilla, strawberry, and mint, it’s refreshing to see Sliquid trying out cool variations you won’t find anywhere else.

My pink lemonade Swirl has a pleasant scent that reminds me of grapefruit, apple, and a hint of soap, all mixed together. The taste is subtler, less punchy, but still sweet and kind of fruity (my boyfriend says it reminds him of konjac jelly candy). It’s sweetened with aspartame, in order to avoid the enemy of vaginas everywhere, sugar – so if you have sensitivities to aspartame, or just don’t like the ever-so-slightly artificial sweetness it creates, you might not enjoy this lube as much as I do.

The taste plays well with genital flavors, though I think that’s more a result of the aspartame than anything else. Pouring a packet of sweetener on just about anything will make it taste like a more pleasant version of itself. The pink lemonade taste is not always super obvious, but the sweetness is. Be warned, this lube won’t stick around if your oral technique is wet and sloppy (and whose isn’t?) – there are better choices for a lasting flavor during oral, though they’re not usually vagina-safe.

Used for its intended purpose of lubrication, Swirl’s formulation makes it last about as long as any other water-based lube will, i.e. not a very long time. Without any added moisture, it dries down after about two minutes. With added moisture, it’ll typically last long enough that I can get through all or most of a masturbation session with it (ten to twenty minutes or so) without needing to reapply. I don’t like its texture or lastability as much as my “old faithful” lube, so Swirl won’t be my new favorite, but it’s pretty okay as far as water-based lubes go.

One thing I really like about Swirl is that it truly is both functional and flavorful – so I can use it on a dildo or my boyfriend’s cock, and afterwards, my vag still tastes sweet, allowing for a cooldown oral session.

Also, whoever designed the Sliquid packaging is brilliant. It’s slightly reminiscent of a shampoo bottle, with its easy-to-open top and easy-to-hold body. And it never leaks. You have to give the bottle a very firm squeeze to get it to dispense any lube. Bravo! (Maybe not the best choice for people with weak hands, sore wrists, etc., though.)

While Sliquid Swirl isn’t my favorite lube in the world, it’s certainly my favorite flavored lube, and one that I’ll be using regularly. It feels good to know that I can sweeten up my junk without fearing for my health.

Thanks very much, PinkCherry.ca!

Sex Toy Haikus

Kate Sloan

In lieu of doing individual follow-up posts, I think I’m going to start writing haikus to express how I currently feel about toys that I’ve reviewed before. Because sex toys are worthy of poetry.

Lelo Mia:
Sorry I haven’t
touched you in ages, Mia.
You’re not that special.

California Exotics Waterproof Jack Rabbit:
My first and only
jelly toy. I weep for my
burning vagina.

Eroscillator:
My clit is in love.
It’s a love that oscillates
from lust to worship.

Lelo Ella:
Warm-up toy supreme.
No one else opens me up
as sweetly as she.

Blossom Organics Natural Moisturizing Lubricant:
All lubes should be as
vag-friendly and simple as
this bedside staple.

My First Giveaway: Blossom Organics and Happy Valley!

Kate Sloan

I’ve been blogging here at Girly Juice for almost two months so far. I’ve come to really enjoy writing sex toy reviews and retellings of my own silly sexploits. And as a way of thanking those of you who take the time to read what I write, I’ve partnered up with two very generous and sexy companies – Blossom Organics and Happy Valley – to give away some items that I really believe in.

Blossom Organics (products provided by Sexy Living) makes a line of lubricants, gels, oils, and creams that are all designed by women and totally vagina-friendly. They are the creators of my all-time favorite lube, which stays on my bedside table at all times. Their products were originally introduced to me by Kim at Red Tent Sisters and I’ve never loved any other lube as much since. Up for grabs from Blossom: Natural Moisturizing Lubricant (best ever – it’s just viscous enough, pH-balanced and won’t give you yeasties or make your ladybits burn!), Warm Sensation Moisturizing Lubricant (same formulation as their original lube, but with some magically tingly ingredients), and Pure Pleasure Arousal Gel (some minty awesomeness to wake up your clit).

Happy Valley makes all their body-safe, silicone toys in their farmhouse in Peterborough, Ontario. Their Pleasure Plug #1 was my very first anal toy, and it’s still my butt’s favorite warm-up playmate to this day. Up for grabs from Happy Valley: two beautiful, vibe-compatible, silicone butt plugs – the Hero (4" long, 1 3/8" wide) and the Whirl (3 ½" long, 1 1/8" wide).

a Rafflecopter giveaway

What’s Changed Since I Started Reviewing Sex Toys?

Kate Sloan

I’ve been blogging about sex toys for over a month now. I started out writing about toys I already had, moved on to receiving free items to review, and now I’m blogging for Sex Toys Canada and reviewing for a few different sites. I’m surprised at how quickly this project has taken off for me, and how much fun I’ve had so far, even with only a month of work under my belt.

I’ve noticed myself changing already, though – for the better. Here are a few of the differences I’ve spotted in myself since I got started on this road of vibrator-touting.

1. I use lube now. I was always one of those girls who figured my natural lubrication would be enough. It was only when I started reading other reviewers’ work that I realized how many other people insist on always using lube when they masturbate. I’m now a staunch supporter of smearing my beloved Blossom Organics on any toy that’s going into me, and it has improved the experience more than I would’ve thought.

2. I actually like porn now. Prior to reading other sex blogs, I wasn’t terribly aware of the “alt porn” scene. I had no idea who James Deen, Danny Wylde, Belladonna, and Dylan Ryan were. I thought most porn was bound to be gross airbrushed shit, with fake-looking orgasms and tons of female degradation. But then I started watching stuff like Sexing the Transman XXX and Dylan and Danny Extra Credit, and I realized that porn can be real and extremely hot. Now I’m an avid alt porn consumer, and it has changed the way I experience solo sex.

3. I truly enjoy using toys. I used to sort of view sex toys as a means to an end – whatever made me come the fastest was a winner. But reviewing has forced me to step back and enjoy the journey as well, since that’s mainly what I’m reporting on when I write about a toy. I notice little details – textures, intensities, shapes – more than ever. It’s like an exercise in meditative masturbation.

4. I care about what I put into my orifices. I know that jelly toys are evil, so I haven’t used my jelly rabbit at all since I started reviewing, and I plan on replacing it with an elastomer version as soon as I can. I’m also very careful about keeping glycerin-laden lubes away from my junk… not to mention, I stay the fuck away from anal toys that don’t have a flared base.

5. I’m learning what I like. I already knew what I need from a partner; now I’m coming to understand what I need from a toy. I don’t enjoy internal vibrations. I can’t take more than seven inches before bumping into my cervix. I love the way glass feels inside me. My G-spot responds best to firm, rhythmic pressure. I need to rub vibrators against myself in order to get off. I don’t care if a toy is loud as long as it works. And I cherish being able to receive oral sex while a large, firm toy is buried inside me. Being sure of what I want is one of the best gifts I could give to myself, as it helps with every facet of my sexuality.

I’m looking forward to more adventures in the world of sex toy reviewing. For now, I’m just beginning my journey, and it’s been an outrageous amount of fun so far.