outfit

Behind the Seams: The Last One in Toronto!

Kate Sloan
L and R photos by Sarah

June 7th, 2025

My friend Dan is a karaoke fiend (as am I), but our go-to joint was no longer doing karaoke nights, so for his birthday we tried out the one at Owl’s Club. The vibe is very “church basement” but in a way that’s kinda quaint? Seemed like there’s a great community of regulars who come back week after week – lots of dancing, laughing, and general merrymaking!

I got a disproportionate number of compliments on this outfit for how simple it was… Pretty sure the Doc Martens make me look a hell of a lot cooler than I am!

What I’m wearing:
• Black T-shirt with “W” logo – sent to me by some sex toy brand whose name I can’t recall; I like it because it appears to be Wikipedia merch, even though it isn’t 😂
• Denim shorts – the Gap; you will see a lot of them in this post!
• Black leather 10-hole Doc Martens
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Rainbow earrings – 3Delightfulshop on Etsy
• Red heart-shaped bag – Kate Spade

June 8th, 2025

I wore this to do a musical improv show with my troupe. I’m still adjusting to the sudden hard pivot I made from dressing mostly femme to dressing mostly androgynous upon re-joining the improv community last year – partly for practical reasons and partly just because I felt like a different person. This shirt and pants are both recent acquisitions as I’ve gradually updated my wardrobe to fit my current vibe. The loud Nikes and heart-shaped glasses, on the other hand, are older items which somehow fit right into my on-stage aesthetic. They’re like psychological armor for me at this point! (And that night, I sang about grapefruit cunnilingus and the mortality of autumn, incase you were wondering.)

What I’m wearing:
• Blue & red striped cropped T-shirt – the Gap (so great, makes me feel like the adult host of a children’s television show in the ’90s)
• Black ponte pants – the Gap, a gift from my mama (stretchy, comfy, perf improvwear)
• Pink/red/blue custom Nike Air Force 1s
• Heart-shaped prescription glasses – Zenni
• Black leather belt – the Gap
• Apple Watch with navy leather Hermès band – both gifts from my wife

June 12th, 2025

Some friends of mine were performing in an improv show at SoCap, and it was really hot out, so I put on this semi-unhinged little outfit to go watch them. They were excellent, and then we went out for a late-night dinner at the Edmund Burke before going over to a friend’s house for some silly late-night intoxicated musical improv over YouTube-sourced backing tracks. Improvisers are strange and wonderful people.

What I’m wearing:
• Black heart-print modal romper – MeUndies (some would say this isn’t the kind of thing you should wear out of the house… and they would be wrong about that)
• Rainbow cardigan – ModCloth many years ago (don’t shop from them these days, though – last I heard, they were taking payments without ever shipping orders out!)
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Black leather vintage Coach Station handbag

June 13th, 2025

Told you I’ve been dressing more androgynously lately… This is probably the closest thing I’ve ever worn (and will ever wear) to a suit! I wore this out for a solo dinner at my beloved local pub, the Queen & Beaver, during which I read from David Rees’s deceptively hilarious book How to Sharpen Pencils.

What I’m wearing:
• Black blazer – thrifted many years ago and worn to a handful of job interviews in my twenties
• Orange-red tank top – the Gap
• Black ponte pants – the Gap
• Custom Nikes
• Vintage Coach Station bag

June 14th, 2025

Something I haven’t mentioned thus far in this post is that I spent most of June preparing to move to New York. Needless to say, packing up your entire life to move to a different country is an absolutely exhausting endeavor! There were some bright spots, however… like when I hauled a bunch of old clothes over to my local thrift store to donate them, and happened upon these jeans.

As I mentioned in my last outfits post, my body has changed size recently due to some medications I’m on, and so a lot of my clothes don’t fit me very well at the moment. I didn’t have any great-fitting jeans at this time, for example, but was wearing jeans to my improv shows nearly every week, so I needed a pair that actually fit! And although the surly goth manning the thrift-shop counter told me morosely that there weren’t any fitting rooms, I had a feeling these were meant to be mine, so I bought them, took them home, tried them on, and… knew I’d never loved a pair of jeans more in my entire life. I then proceeded to wear them obsessively for weeks on end, when weather allowed!

What I’m wearing:
• Greyish-blue tank top – some generic chain store; probably more of a bralette, to be honest with you!
• Blue skinny jeans – thrifted; they are the “Lola High Rise skinny” style by Denim Forum (a Canadian brand, incidentally!)
• Eevee socks that were probably a gift from my mama

June 16th, 2025

Not my most inventive ensemble, but here’s what I wore to have drinks at Civil Liberties (best cocktail bar ever) with a couple of kinksters I know from the internet who’d recently moved to Toronto! Always good to chat with fellow pervs over excellent bevs.

What I’m wearing:
• Cropped pink T-shirt – the Gap
• The aforementioned magic thrifted Denim Forum jeans
• The also-aforementioned custom Nikes, vintage Coach Station bag, and Danier Leather jacket
• Raspberry-pink heart-shaped leather earrings – Unicorn Collaborators
• Prescription sunglasses – Zenni

June 20th, 2025

Here’s what I wore to host my going-away party! I was really nervous, not being much of a party hostess (especially not since 2020!!), but I had such a fun time with my hilarious pals. It was a group of about 20 of us – roughly half were from my present-day improv troupe, while the other half were from other sectors/eras of my life, which was kinda trippy. But I guess that’s what parties are for, huh?

Because of my weird-ass job, I had amassed dozens of new-in-box sex toys that I had no particular use for, plus 48(!!) Tenga Eggs, and so I laid all of those out at the party and invited my guests to take whatever they pleased. I am thrilled to announce that nothing was left by the end of the night. And then we went to Comedy Bar karaoke for the after-party, and then went to Pizza Pizza for the after-after-party, and then moved to the Pizza Pizza parking lot for the after-after-after-party. I didn’t get home until nearly 4 a.m., which I’m pretty sure has not happened since I was an energetic young thing circa 2012…! (Thanks, low-dose naltrexone!)

What I’m wearing:
• Pink jumpsuit – Le Chateau
• The aforementioned Nikes, Coach bag, Apple Watch and Unicorn Collaborators earrings
• …& let’s not forget my fabulous Bailey Hikawa phone case, which delights me daily!

Photos by my mama

June 22nd, 2025

Another improv show outfit! Improvising in shorts and a crop top is not ideal as far as wardrobe malfunction risk, but good lord it was so fucking hot out on this day, so I layered with tights and a bralette as appropriate and hoped for the best! Someone told me this look reminded him of Bart Simpson, which feels like a compliment.

I was particularly pleased with myself for the “jingle” I improvised about the movie Clueless – plus, a hoedown verse about dressing slutty on Halloween!

What I’m wearing:
• Orange tank top – the Gap
• Denim shorts – the Gap
• Turquoise opaque tights – Hue
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers
• The aforementioned Zenni heart-shaped glasses and Unicorn Collaborators heart-shaped earrings (hmm… it would appear that I like hearts!)

June 26th, 2025

A couple of my friends were performing in a prom-themed improv show at Comedy Bar, complete with costumes and incredible makeup + hairstyling. It was a hoot! I had already packed most of my dresses for the upcoming move at this point, and this slinky little number was one of the only dresses still hanging in my closet, so I threw it on to go drink an IPA while laughing riotously at my friends’ scenes.

What I’m wearing:
• Green polka-dotted dress – thrifted about a decade ago when trying to decide on a Feminist Porn Awards outfit
• Raspberry-pink lacy bralette – Aerie (just barely peeking out, and yet, notice how it matches my lipstick and my phone case… gawd I love being a femme)
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Vintage Coach Station bag

Middle photo by Tess

June 29th, 2025 (day)

Another way-too-hot day! My schedule was pretty packed: in the morning, I took the subway across town to attend a 4-hour musical improv intensive at Comedy Bar, taught by the lovely Devon Hyland, who is an insightful and hilarious teacher. We learned a lot about how to come up with a comedic premise for a song on-the-fly, which is somehow both easier and harder than it sounds… Those 4 hours really flew by!

After that, a friend and I took the subway over to the gayborhood together, because it was Pride Parade day! We walked around people-watching, talking, and soaking up the sun. Perfect day, tbh! And then later I had to change my outfit for my troupe’s final improv show (see below) – boooo!

What I’m wearing:
• Red tank top – the Gap
• Denim shorts – the Gap
• Blue opaque tights – Hue
• The aforementioned custom Nikes, Apple Watch, vintage Coach bag, & rainbow earrings from 3Delightfulshop
• Rainbow bandana – thrifted in high school

June 29th, 2025 (night)

After the Pride Parade, I raced home and had just enough time to shower and change for our last show! Basically the same outfit as above, except with a few key items swapped out… so in fact, I won’t even go into detail on this one, except to say that the pink tank top is a different colorway of the same red one I wore above, and the heart-print tights were probably a gift from my mama in like 2013! Oh yeah, and the bag I always take with me on show nights is this orange leather Coach Poppy satchel that I found on eBay.

July 2nd, 2025

Originally my plan was to move on July 1st, but then some friends pointed out to me, “You’re leaving Canada on Canada Day?!” and suddenly it occurred to me: I should move on July 2nd instead, so I could spend my last night in the country watching the fireworks with my mom and brother like we do every year. It was a really special night and I’m so glad I stayed for it.

This was the next day, my actual moving day. Going into it, I was more stressed and anxious than I’ve felt about anything in a looooong time… but I was blessed enough to have a lot of amazing people helping me out, and so it went more smoothly than expected. As I’m writing this nearly a week later, I haven’t actually received my stuff from the movers yet, so we’ll have to wait and see how that goes… but overall, I’m really glad it’s done, and so happy to be living with my wife in Brooklyn now. Definitely feeling a lot better than I was when I took these moving-day photos, where the stress and trepidation (not to mention sweat) are palpable on my face!!

What I’m wearing:
• Turquoise cropped T-shirt – the Gap
• The aforementioned thrifted Denim Forum jeans, Frye harness boots, and Apple Watch
• Blue leather Tori Burch bracelet – a gift from my love; sometimes I wear it when I want to feel like she is with me 💙

Behind the Seams: Energy, Comedy, & Slime Puppies

Kate Sloan

May 15th, 2025

A very unglamorous day followed by a substantially more glamorous night: I wore this out to get some medical tests done, including my routine STI testing (Safer Six is my go-to in Toronto these days; they’re always lovely!), and then later to meet up with my brother Max for dinner at Fran’s and to go see the Classic Albums Live performance of Michael Jackson’s Thriller at Massey Hall, for which I’d bought us tickets as Max’s birthday gift a few months prior. The show was fantastic – so much energy, so many good vibes!

What I’m wearing:

• Red camisole with built-in bra (a.k.a. “brami“) – Gap; I have like 4 of these now and they’re so good, especially for those of us who medically cannot tolerate real bras
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather, covered in pins from various sources
• Black short-shorts – H&M back in 2017; I wore these for practically the whole summer when I was 25 and they are back, baybee
• Black leggings (worn under the shorts) – H&M
• Black leather Converse sneakers
• Vintage black leather Coach Station bag
• Silver disco ball earrings – H&M

May 16th, 2025

During the day, I wrote a rabbit vibe review. Then, in the evening, I slithered into this cute little outfit to trek across town to Comedy Bar East for a show that one of my musical improv teammates was in. It was a longform improv show (my fave kind) and the troupe was trying out some cool new formats. Non-musical improv, in this case, although my friend did do some rapping in one scene! Afterward a few of us hung out shooting the shit in the bar until late, and then moseyed tipsily to various other locations, eventually ending our night by doing musical improv over YouTube karaoke tracks in a friend’s cozy basement apartment until 3 a.m. Truly can’t remember the last time I was out that late (and not fucking miserable about it), but time flies when you’re having fun with comedy friends!

What I’m wearing:

• Pink cropped T-shirt – Gap (can you tell I placed a big order there recently to update my wardrobe for improv classes/shows? I didn’t have enough solid-color, casual shirts!)
• Black velvet skater skirt – Forever 21 several years ago (worn with black bike shorts underneath, because being constantly fearful of flashing passersby when a gust of wind arises is not chic, darling)
• Pink leather Doc Martens
• Vintage black Coach Station bag
• Rainbow earrings – 3Delightfulshop on Etsy

May 17th, 2025

My friend’s show was so good that I ended up going to the second one the following day! Wanted to see more of those interesting longform structures his troupe was doing. Then I journaled on the long streetcar ride back home, at which point my far-away cinephile sweetheart (a.k.a. the Movieboy) and I watched a Hitchcock flick together online (The 39 Steps, which was quite good).

What I’m wearing:

• Bernie Sanders campaign tank top (frayed and full of holes at this point… just like my faith in democracy, ha ha)
• Red polka-dotted midi skirt – Forever 21
• Black leather Chuck Taylors
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Rainbow earrings – 3Delightfulshop
• Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag

May 30th, 2025

I have been on low-dose naltrexone (LDN) for my fibromyalgia for about 6 months. Some of the effects are not-so-great for me (of which more later), but the main ones are fabulous: I’ve noticed a significant reduction in pain, and a significant boost in mood and energy. As a result, I’ve been able to lead the closest thing I’ve had to a “normal life” since developing this disease at age 23 and receding gradually further into the isolated chronically ill lifestyle since then. I am grateful every morning when I take my LDN, because it has totally turned my life around!

In fact, I have so much more energy now that I can usually go on 1-2 walks a day, of about 45 minutes each. (For reference, a year ago I would’ve needed to lie down for a few hours after taking a walk like that.) This is especially great right now, since I’m trying to keep my energy/endurance up for the weekly musical improv shows I’m doing every Sunday in June, and am loving being able to actually exercise without needing to take an achy depression nap afterward! It’s also great because I get to put together cute outfits like this one for my walks, which of course just helps motivate me further.

What I’m wearing:

• Turquoise “Slime Puppy” tank top – an impulsive and probably drunken late-night Amazon purchase some years ago (for those unfamiliar, “slime puppy” is an epithet from Succession which Gerri slings at Roman in one of their erotically fraught tête-à-têtes; it famously was not scripted, and was improvised by J. Smith-Cameron during filming)
• Black short-shorts – H&M
• Black leather belt – Gap
• Black leather Chuck Taylors
• Turquoise/purple “Think Positive” snapback hat – MaruHats
• Prescription sunglasses – Zenni
• Apple Watch with navy leather Hermès band (gotta track those biometrics, baby!)

June 1st, 2025 (daytime)

Another outfit for a walk. This look is a prime example of what Gala Darling might call “dopamine dressing” – i.e. putting together outfits purely for how good they make you feel, and how good they might make other people feel when they see you! Sure enough, kindly strangers lobbed compliments at me as I sauntered past in my fruity finest.

One of the errands I ran in this ensemble was stopping at the liquor store for a bottle of rosé for my aunt… Something iconic about rocking up to the booze shop in an all-pink outfit to buy an all-pink wine 😂

What I’m wearing:

• Pink knit hat – Only
• Pink “brami” – Gap (gift from my mama the night before, who knows me very well, evidently)
• Pink fleece-lined sweatpants – Gap, soooo cozy
• Pink & red custom Nike Air Force 1s
• Pink leather Coach bag
• Apple Watch with navy leather Hermès band

June 1st, 2025 (nighttime)

For the evening’s improv show + jam, I changed into this. My troupe has been dressing in blues and blacks when we perform lately, to give us a more professional/unified look, so I’d pulled some old black/blue/navy dresses from the far reaches of my closet, including this little number, which I seem to remember wearing on lots of sweaty, sexy dates the summer I was 25.

It was a good show for me – I improvised a jazz song about dancing in the streets and a blues verse about scarves, among other things – and I even won the rhyming-based elimination game we played at the end of the jam, so I was deemed the ‘champion’ of the evening and had my photo taken for the champions’ wall… hence the silly triumphant poses in some of these photos, haha! (The middle one is just me laughing at one of my hilarious pals. This type of full-on head-tilted-back cackle is not at all unusual for me at these shows…!)

What I’m wearing:

• Navy polka-dotted dress – H&M many years ago
• Black leather belt – Gap
• Black leather Chuck Taylors
• Red heart-shaped prescription glasses – Zenni (I try not to wear these during our actual shows because they are A Bit Much when you’re trying to play lots of different characters, some of whom would never dream of wearing something so silly-looking – but I usually put them back on for the improv jam afterward and get lots of compliments on them, haha)

June 3rd, 2025

Another all-pink outfit for a walk! It was super sunny and warm so I decided to bust out these very small shorts from my mid-twenties. There aren’t many places I would wear these, but they’re fine to wear on a walk, so long as I keep my noise-canceling earbuds in and aggressively ignore any men who try to shout anything my way…

What I’m wearing:

• Pink snapback hat – an impulsive eBay purchase some years ago, I think?
• Pink “brami” – Gap
• Tiny pink shorts – H&M many years ago
• Black leather belt – Gap
• Black prescription sunglasses – Zenni
• Pink & red custom Nike Air Force 1s

June 4th, 2025

I wore this to go see lesbian rock legend Carole Pope perform an unplugged set at Hugh’s Room with some family members. Carole was a long-time bandmate and collaborator of my late uncle Kevan Staples, who passed away earlier this year, so it was emotional for us to see her perform again, especially some of the songs she co-wrote with Kevan. Really awesome set, and a great crowd full of fellow queers, who sang along with wild abandon to Carole’s songs about fisting and safewords – what a way to kick off Pride month!

What I’m wearing:

• Pale blue cropped T-shirt – Gap
• Black pleated tennis skirt – Uniqlo
• Royal blue knee-high socks – the now-defunct kinky Minneapolis coffee shop Leather & Latte
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Turquoise leather Tiffany’s dog collar – from my beautiful wife
• Silver disco ball earrings – H&M
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Vintage black Coach Station bag

June 5th, 2025

Here’s what I wore to run some errands today, including picking up an antibiotic for a UTI that I didn’t even know I had until my doctor called me this morning to tell me 😂 Bodies are strange…

(Content note: This next paragraph is gonna talk about weight loss, appetite/eating, and body image. I aim to discuss these things from a body-positive or at least body-neutral perspective – no fat-shaming here! But please absolutely feel free to skip the whole paragraph if that stuff is gonna trigger/trouble you. Thanks for taking care of yourself!)

Speaking of “bodies are strange”: As I mentioned, I’ve been on LDN for a while – and one of the unfortunate side effects (in my view) is that it severely fucks with my appetite, which was already lessened due to the Wellbutrin I’ve been taking for my depression for the past 5+ years. This makes sense, due to how both drugs interact with the brain’s reward system (which is also why naltrexone is so useful for treating alcohol dependency, for instance), but is super annoying for people like me who like food and want to be able to enjoy it! I can really only eat maybe one-quarter to one-third as much per meal as I used to be able to, before I start feeling uncomfortably full and have to stop. This has resulted in some significant weight loss, as eagle-eyed readers may already have noticed (thanks for not saying anything about it, that would be rude and gross!), and I’m still actively adjusting to these changes. A lot of my clothes are literally hanging off me, as seen here (this skirt used to sit at my waist and now droops down to my hips), which makes me feel weird/bad/like this isn’t really “my body,” and it’s also weird to be feeling so energetic, motivated and happy while I’m literally shrinking away, especially since I have some history of disordered eating and bad body image. I guess the next step is probably to get a bunch of my clothing tailored to fit my current body, since I plan to stay on this drug for the foreseeable future and don’t want to keep living in this limbo where almost nothing fits me. But it’s also tough to accept that this really is my body now, and that it won’t change again anytime soon (because who knows?! it might!). Anyway, if you’ve ever been through something similar and have advice/wisdom to share, I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

What I’m wearing:

• Pale blue cropped T-shirt – Gap
• Turquoise pleated tennis skirt – not sure
• Royal blue knee-high socks – Leather & Latte
• Grey knit beanie – eBay
• Black prescription sunglasses – Zenni
• Vintage black Coach Station bag
• Blue metallic Doc Martens – bought when I was ~19 and recently rediscovered in my closet at my parents’ house; aren’t they wild?!

P.S. Want more posts like this? Check out the ‘outfit‘ tag!

Behind the Seams: Improv, Airports, & the Elephant Man

Kate Sloan

April 1st, 2025

Here’s what I wore to have dinner at a Mexican restaurant and then attend a screening of David Lynch’s The Elephant Man at the Paradise Theatre with my mom. It’s a really beautiful film, quite eerie and affecting. It was being screened as part of a series about “freaks” as a trope. Themes of disability, ableism, and social ostracization were woven through many of the films in the series, this one being a prime example. It was so lovely to watch it in a room full of pious film nerds!

What I’m wearing:

• Orange tank top – Gap
• Red pencil skirt – American Apparel
• Black cashmere hoodie (barely visible) because movie theatres are always way too cold – gift from my parents-in-law
• Black tights
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Black wool coat – thrifted in 2007, originally from Fairweather
• Pink leather bag – Coach

April 17th, 2025

Kind of a silly one. I love being a Weird Outfit Girl. I wore this to go get a haircut. I keep wanting to go shorter and shorter with my hair lately. Just feels right, man!

What I’m wearing:

• Yellow modal tank top – Amazon Basics (I know, I know…)
• Red polka-dotted midi skirt – Forever 21, many years ago
• Black leather jacket covered in various pins – Danier Leather
• White heart-print socks – Gap
• Red/pink/blue custom Nike Air Force 1 sneakers
• Red leather Coach Willis bag – vintage
• “101 Kinky Things” snapback hat – custom-made by Printful
• Black prescription sunglasses – Zenni

April 22nd, 2025

This was my airport outfit for a birthday jaunt to New York. I had planned to wear jeans to the airport, but was having a reeeeal bad fibro flare-up and ended up having to swap them out for lounge pants right before leaving the house. But honestly, this look kinda rules, and makes me wonder if I should dip my toe into wide-leg jeans for the first time in literal decades… Hmm!

Shout-out to this blue polka-dotted backpack, which I bought at the Indigo bookstore in the Eaton Centre when I was a freshman in journalism school. I schlepped my books and laptop around in it for years, and it’s still serving me well for trips when I don’t want to bring a whole suitcase with me.

What I’m wearing:

• Navy and red tank top – technically a pajama shirt; a gift from my mom (along with matching patterned pants, which I don’t tend to wear outside as often, lol!)
• Blue cashmere cardigan – Gap
• Black wide-leg lounge pants – Ureshii, made-to-measure several years ago (they are soooo comfy and they have pockets!)
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Blue polka-dotted backpack – Baggu via Indigo

April 27th, 2025

I received two pairs of the same gloves as a Christmas gift (from my very thoughtful parents and my very thoughtful parents-in-law, respectively), so I decided to return one pair for store credit… and ended up getting this denim jumpsuit instead. They had it in black too, but the navy was calling my name!

I really wasn’t sure I’d be able to pull off a look like this, since I’m typically way more femme-presenting – but I’ve felt amazingly powerful every time I’ve worn this jumpsuit! Case in point: On this night, I had a musical improv show with my class/troupe, performed well, and felt great!

What I’m wearing:

• Denim jumpsuit – Aritzia (sadly doesn’t seem to be available anymore; I hope they bring it back, because I might need the black version after all…)
• Custom Nike Air Force 1s
• Orange leather Coach satchel – vintage on eBay (usually my overnight bag these days when I go stay at my parents’ house after improv shows and classes; I think of it as my femme improvisor equivalent of a gym bag!)
• Black prescription sunglasses – Zenni

May 3rd, 2025

Here’s what I wore to attend my dad’s birthday dinner. I love an all-black look with a pop of brightness somewhere. “One does want a hint of color,” as Starrina might say!

What I’m wearing:

• Black wool sweater – gift from my dad I think?
• Black tank top underneath (unseen) – Museum of Sex gift shop
• Black jeans – Madewell
• Pink/purple/turquoise vintage silk scarf worn as a belt for some reason
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers
• Pink leather Coach bag
• Black leather jacket – Danier

May 4th, 2025

Another improv show night! I tend to dress more casual and androgynous for improv shows than is my typical style, because that’s sort of the norm in those spaces, not to mention it’s often more practical when you’re running around on stage. That being said, I do like incorporating little touches of femme flair here and there – like a teensy bit of midriff under a crop top, or my ever-present red lip, which gives me superpowers, I swear.

The show went great! Here’s a solo song I improvised, and a silly Hoedown verse about morticians.

What I’m wearing:

• Blue “brami” shirt (as in, camisole with a built-in bra) – Gap
• Navy high-waisted skinny jeans – J. Crew
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers
• Black fleece-lined hoodie (in 2nd picture only) – American Apparel
• Black/grey/blue Coach Willis bag – gift from my love

May 8th, 2025

A friend offered me a last-minute ticket to go see Dinosaur Improv, a visiting troupe featuring such comedy powerhouses as Lisa Gilroy, Jason Mantzoukas, Paul Scheer, and more. I threw on this vaguely Daria-inspired outfit and walked down to the Second City. The show was incredible; I laughed my face off with my pals, and felt inspired with regards to my own improv, too.

What I’m wearing:

• Sex T-Rex shirt – bought from Sex T-Rex themselves (they’re an improv troupe) at the Bad Dog Theatre; I cut the neckline off and made some other minor alterations
• Green/blue/black plaid leggings – Torrid
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Black leather jacket – Danier
• Pink leather Coach bag
• Pink leather heart earrings – Unicorn Collaborators

May 11th, 2025

Aaaand it’s another improv show outfit! My mom recently suggested that I go through the closet in my room at her house, to see if there were any old clothes from my teens/twenties that I might want to bust out again for improv shows. That’s where I found this shirt, and it really did work well on stage, I think! It’s eye-catching without being obnoxious, and makes me feel super confident.

This show went well too – I did a boy band song about butter and a blues verse about wishing I could take my mom to the Greek islands, among other things!

What I’m wearing:

• Multicolored floral-print crop top – American Apparel many years ago
• Black skinny jeans – Gap
• Black leather belt – Gap
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers
• Red heart-shaped prescription glasses – Zenni

Behind the Seams: What Does a Queer Femme Wear to Improv Classes & Shows?

Kate Sloan

Over the past 5 months or so, I’ve been getting back into improv, for the first time since high school. (I’m 32, so high school was a while ago now!)

Yep – after literal years of saying I wanted to do so, I’m taking improv classes again. Specifically, musical improv. Making up songs, live on stage, in front of people. Yes, it is as terrifying as it sounds!! And yet it also feels like exactly what I need right now: a place where I go every week to have fun, try stuff out, play. (And it sure helps that my teachers and fellow classmates have been incredible, too.)

I knew I found the improv part intimidating, but until my first day of class, I didn’t realize quite how intimidating a task it was to get dressed for improv. A lot of my super-weirdo queer-femme wardrobe just isn’t suitable for it at all, for reasons I’ll get into this post, as I tell you my 4 rules for improv-wear, which I’ve learned from coaches, teachers, and plain ol’ experience over the years.

For example, the image above is a good demonstration of Rule #1: Solid colors are best.

Have you ever been to a show where one of the performers was wearing an undeniably distinctive shirt – maybe it featured a band’s name, a rude slogan, or a cartoon animal – and you found yourself unable to fully focus on anything else, because the shirt was so distracting? Yeah, that’s really not ideal for improv. You want the audience focused on what you’re saying (or singing!), not what you’re wearing. Even your fellow improvisors can get distracted by what you’re wearing, and it can influence the scenes you end up doing – so to avoid all that, I try to wear clothes with no visible logos/slogans or wild patterns. Just basic solid colors. (Even if they happen to be hot pink.)

What I’m wearing:

• Pink knit hat – Only
• Blue cashmere cardigan – Gap
• Pink modal tank top – Old Navy
• Jeans – Everlane (they will appear again in this post, because, as mentioned, I am a femme and don’t own very many pairs of pants, period 😂)
• Pink leather Doc Martens
• Little pink leather bag – Coach (gift from my wife)

I took this latest round of classes during a bitterly cold Canadian winter, so I became extra aware of the importance of Rule #2: Dress comfortably.

In improv, you’re making split-second decisions based on the most fleeting of impulses. Losing your train of thought mid-sentence (or mid-song) makes you look bad, makes your scene partners look bad, and makes the audience doubt you as a performer – so you gotta wear clothes that aren’t going to distract you in any way.

That means: Nothing itchy, nothing too restrictive, no dangly earrings, nothing where straps might fall down or buttons might burst open, nothing that you think you look bad in… and nothing that fucks with your body temperature to a distracting degree. In my case, we were practicing and performing in spaces that were kept pretty cold – so I wore a sweater and a beanie to class practically every single week, because it sucks to try to sing when your teeth are chattering!

What I’m wearing:

• Green knit beanie – Only
• Blue cashmere sweater – J. Crew
• Jeans – Everlane
• Black leather Doc Martens

Here’s what I wore to my showcase show for the beginner musical improv class, back in December. I was so nervous I thought I might collapse on stage!! (I didn’t.) But you know what I wasn’t nervous about? Slipping and falling. And that’s because I followed Rule #3: Wear footwear you can be agile in.

Don’t get me wrong; there are femme improvisors out there who perform in heels. I’ve seen some of them do it, and I admire the fuck out of their otherworldly tenacity. But for the rest of us mere mortals, if we’re gonna be scramblin’ around the stage, we need to wear shoes made for scramblin’.

You’ll notice, for instance, that in all of these photos, I am wearing either Doc Martens or Converse sneakers. They have grippy bottoms (ooh, great name for a gay bar if you need one!) so I know I won’t slide around on stage. They’re also comfortable enough that I can stand in them for at least a couple of hours without my feet hurting too badly.

What I’m wearing:

• White T-shirt – gift
• Black dress – from when I dressed as Bettie Page for Halloween a few years ago
• Black leggings – H&M
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers
• Apple Watch w/ Hermès band

These pictures are more recent and are from my latest showcase, with the advanced class. (I sang about murderous mountains and the very last pizza, among other things.) The smiley one was taken on stage, right before my first-ever solo musically improvised song. I wasn’t even nervous! Wild stuff! Improv classes are magic!

As I got dressed for this show, I thought about a time when my high school improv coach told us we weren’t allowed to wear skirts or dresses. One of the other queer femmes on the team (there were a lot of us) piped up: “Why not?” Our coach shook his head slowly and said, “I’ve seen some shit.”

No doubt he had. Improv can take you to some weird places, and I’ve definitely seen the occasional errant buttcrack or panty-flash in certain physically active scenes, which is why I believe staunchly in Rule #4: Protect against wardrobe malfunctions.

This is a sex-positive blog, so let me be clear that I have no issue with nudity, or with bodies themselves – if you’re doing an improv set at a swingers’ club or on a nude beach, by all means, wear clothing that will spill off of you at the slightest provocation, or none at all! But most improvisors will want to avoid these sorts of slippages; they are potentially embarrassing, could make the audience feel weird, and are (at the very least) distracting as hell for audience and performers alike. It’s for this reason that I never wear just a dress or skirt to an improv class or show – in this case I wore leggings and a long-sleeved shirt under my dress, and in the summertime I might instead wear a plain bralette and some bike shorts underneath. I really don’t want to be thinking about my tits when I’m improvising, thanks.

What I’m wearing:

• Black long-sleeved shirt – gift from my mama
• Blue floral-print wrap dress – Tommy Bahama; gift from my spouse (originally purchased to wear to her birthday party last December)
• Black leggings – American Eagle
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Yellow bag – Kate Spade

Any other improv people wanna weigh in on femme-improvisor attire in the comments? I’m considering getting a pair of denim overalls next…

Lusting for Lovecore: Matching My Outfits to My Favorite Uberrime Dildo!

Kate Sloan

I love sex toys, I love fashion, and I especially love opportunities to blend those two interests together. So I’m sure you can understand why I was so excited when indie sex toy company Uberrime reached out recently to ask if I’d like to write a post about…

…how custom toys can feel like an expression/extension of self? You have such a consistent and memorable collection of go-to colors in both your business branding and personal fashion, I figured if anyone would want a toy to “match,” it might be you!

Needless to say, I replied with an enthusiastic YES!

I’m a massive fan of Uberrime’s Night King dildo (here’s my review from 2019 if you’d like to read it), because its length, shape, and coronal ridge make it an absolute powerhouse for A-spot stimulation. The brand sweetly offered me a brand-new, custom-made Night King, in the colors of my choice, to highlight the extreme customizability offered on Uberrime’s site. Color isn’t the only thing you get to customize, either: you can also select your preferred firmness for your new toy, and decide whether you want a port in the base for a bullet vibrator or a Vac-U-Lock device. Gotta love a bespoke dong!

Choosing dildo colors can be a challenge for an indecisive femme comme moi, but in this case, I knew exactly what I wanted: red and pink. In other words, I wanted a “lovecore” Night King. I love these colors, but perhaps even more importantly for this post, I have a lot of clothing in these colors!

I started putting together outfits in my head before my new Night King even arrived on my doorstep – and when it did, it was so stunning in-person that I was even more excited to style it up. Ready to see the dildo-inspired ensembles I came up with?

Lounging in bed

When my friend Billy and I interviewed the kink writer Tina Horn on our podcast back in June, she said,

Part of the reason that I know I’m not femme is that I’ve learned so much about what ‘femme’ is to femmes… One of the defining things that I hear over and over again from femmes is that they’re femme when no one’s watching, or their resting state is femme, or they put on lipstick for themselves… You can put on lipstick for yourself, not because you’re brainwashed by the patriarchy!

While there are many valid definitions of femmeness, this one (among others) resonates with me – because not only do I frequently wear lipstick while alone, but I also frequently put together little loungewear ‘outfits’ that serve the sole purpose of making me feel cute while staying comfy. It’s an important outlet for my femme inclinations, especially since – what with being a chronically ill freelancer – I spend way more time in and around my bed than I do in most other places!

This is exactly the type of outfit I’d wear for a leisurely masturbation session on a Saturday afternoon, or even for a toy testing session during the week. Comfort is paramount when I’m hoping to get turned on, and this look takes that into account. (I’ve paired the Night King with a pink We-Vibe Tango X, because I – like most people with my anatomy – find dildos most pleasurable and effective when there’s some clit stimulation going on.)

What I’m wearing:
• Dark red modal slip dress – Calvin Klein Sleepwear
• Pink and red heart-print acrylic cardigan – Unique Vintage
• Bare feet

Party bimbo

Been a minute since I went to a kink conference or play party (’cause, y’know, pandemic + fibromyalgia), but I think this would be the ideal outfit to wear to something like a hypno munch or an intelligence-play workshop. Love a bimbo moment!

The lovecore Night King doesn’t exaaaactly fit inside my tiny heart-shaped purse, but that’s kind of part of the look, if you ask me…

What I’m wearing:
• Pink ribbed cropped tank top – Forever 21
• Pink and red heart-print velour trackpants – an Etsy shop that has since gone out of business
• Neon pink striped beanie – another Etsy shop that has since gone out of business!
• Raspberry pink leather heart earrings – Unicorn Collaborators
• Pink/red/orange custom Nike Air Force 1 sneakers
• Red heart-shaped bag – Kate Spade

Soft butch

One for the androgyny-enjoyers! (I count myself among your ranks…)

It’s been interesting observing the way that fluctuations in my chronic illness symptoms can influence my gender presentation. Sometimes a high-pain day will lead me to dress masc like this, because this type of outfit is more utilitarian and easier to throw together.

Occasionally my pain makes me feel so disconnected from my body that I only want to top, and not bottom, during sex – meaning that I want to do stuff to a partner, but don’t want to receive touch/pleasure directly myself, because keeping my awareness on my own body feels icky and depressing at those times. This is an outfit I might wear at a play party if I was in that type of mood, since it suggests the sex acts I am and am not up for, and gives me some soft-butch swagger that feels good when I’m in Top Mode.

What I’m wearing:
• Long-sleeved black shirt – gift from my mama
• High-waisted straight-leg jeans – Everlane
• Hot pink Doc Martens
• Aslan Leather Nicki Jaguar harness with Uberrime Night King dildo (read my review of this harness here – it’s been my fave for many years!)

Sex writer extraordinaire

Pre-pandemic, I used to write in cafés almost every day. I would tuck my laptop into a tote, throw on an energizing outfit, and then go hole up in the corner of a coffee shop to sip a latte and nibble a muffin while writing about dicks, dates, ‘n’ doms. I miss it! (I still do it once in a while, but definitely not as often.)

This would have been a perfect ensemble to wear while writing a blog post in public – say, a review of my lovecore Night King! I would toss the dildo into my bag before leaving the house, incase I needed to check its measurements or firmness, etc. while writing – surreptitiously and out of view of other patrons, of course!

What I’m wearing:
• “Run the Fuck” T-shirt – the Museum of Sex gift shop (the quote is a Betty Dodson-ism)
• Red pencil skirt – American Apparel
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell
• Pink leather satchel – Kate Spade (this was the first expensive/fancy bag I ever bought for myself, waaay back when I was like 22, and I still adore it)
• Red heart-shaped prescription glasses – Zenni
• Lovecore Night King + limited-edition “cherry blossom” Lamy Safari rollerball pen (gift from my spouse) + pink legal pad (gift from my brother)

Bonus outfit: Actual sex

I mean, it is a sex toy, after all…!

To tell you the truth, the Uberrime Night King has long been my spouse’s go-to dildo when she fucks me with a strap-on. As mentioned, it hits my A-spot with aplomb. You usually lose up to an inch of useable dildo length when you wear one in a harness, because of the thickness of the harness itself, but the Night King’s 8″ insertable length means it can still easily hit my A-spot even when strapped on. I chose the 12A/medium shore for this Night King, and I’m glad I did, because that firmness makes it feel incredible pounding into my spot again and again. (It helps a lot that my spouse’s strap game is top-notch, of course…)

The most recent time that my partner came to visit me, she had brought her harness, and we decided to try out my new Night King… and once she slid it into her harness and lubed it up, I was so struck by how hot it looked with her outfit that I asked if I could snap a photo for this post. Luckily for me (and for all of you!!), she obliged. And then, naturally, we had excellent strap-on sex 🤤

So, here is a very real-life example of how sex toy aesthetics can amp up excitement and arousal. Red is my spouse’s signature color, and one that looks exceptionally good on her, whether in the form of a lipstick, a mesh tank top, or (yes) a custom-made dildo – and I love that this dildo can easily be incorporated into both of our aesthetics, even though our styles are pretty different from each other!

What she’s wearing:
• Red mesh tank top – a fetishwear shop in Berlin called Schwarzer Reiter
• RodeoH briefs harness
• Uberrime Night King dildo, of course 😍

If this post has got you curious about matching your outfit to your dildo – or matching your dildo to your outfit! – then why not check out the Night King and the rest of Uberrime’s catalog, and pick the color(s) that make(s) your heart sing? Life’s too short for ugly toys in depressing shades; I want my toys to be bright and beautiful works of art, and Uberrime makes some of the prettiest silicone dildos I’ve ever seen. Pretty enough, even, to be a crucial component of some of my high-femme outfits. 💖

 

This post was sponsored by Uberrime, who I really, truly adore. As always, all writing and opinions (and outfits, except for my spouse’s!) are my own.