outfit

Behind the Seams: Babes & Dates

Kate Sloan

May 11th, 2018. The “little boy at summer camp” vibez are so real. I wore this out to my fave local diner (which has since CLOSED, boooo) to finish up some dayjob work over bacon and eggs, and then hopped on the subway and went to the mall. Ended up buying a bunch of dresses and other assorted cuteness at H&M (including some items you’ll see elsewhere in this post!). It was a good day.

This shirt says “Babes Do It Better” and I have no idea what that is supposed to mean, but I like it anyway. Do you ever acquire a new piece of clothing that you think you’ll only wear occasionally but then you start wearing it all the time? This shirt achieved that status for me last summer… Sometimes a garment just feels right, for whatever reason.

What I’m wearing:
• “Babes Do It Better” T-shirt – Forever 21
• Danier leather jacket – hand-me-down from a cousin, adorned with pins from Kinktionary, L’Amour-Propre, and Hippo Campus
• Black rhinestoned shorts – H&M many years ago
• Giant Red Robot kneesocks – bought from R. Stevens at the Toronto Arts & Comics Festival in 2011 (I had been reading his webcomic for many years at that point and fangirled pretty hard about meeting him)
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Coach turquoise leather turnlock tote – bought on sale for half-price last year and carried damn near everywhere since

May 12th, 2018. This was a weird/cute day in my long-distance relationship. In the morning I went to a local café to work on some articles for a copywriting client, and then I went to 7 West for lunch because I was craving their pesto pollo pasta. My boyfriend chatted with me over the phone throughout my meal – a frequent and favorite type of phone date we do – and then we just kept talking for my entire walk back to my apartment. Once I got home, we talked for several more hours, including some excellent phone sex and lots of giggles. All told, our phone date that day lasted 9 hours, because we’re weirdos in love. I adore finding ways to prioritize intimacy even when we’re so far apart.

I felt really cute in this outfit. It’s a bit “schoolgirl meets mime,” n’est-ce pas?

What I’m wearing:
• Revlon Ultra HD matte lip color in “Obsession” (definitely a current fave)
• Black and white striped tank top (new) – H&M
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Black and white polka-dotted skirt – ASOS
• Black and white striped thigh-high socks (originally bought to be part of a schoolgirl costume for Halloween) – Amazon, I think?
• Black leather Frye harness boots

May 13th, 2018. I had a hard time getting out of bed on this day, so my Sir gave me some specific instructions and time constraints re: getting showered and dressed, and that helped motivate me a lot. It was Mother’s Day and I was headed to see my mom and give her a gift, so I opted to dress in a feminine, springy way I thought she would appreciate (and she did!).

This outfit also felt very DD/lg to me – pigtails, pink lipstick, sparkly jewelry, and short A-line dresses will do that – so I reflected a fair bit on what it means for me to “feel little” and how that manifests in my body and brain. (I want to write about this eventually!) I noticed myself feeling much cuter and more embodied than usual, and I think it was because my exterior matched how I usually feel – or want to feel – on the inside: feminine, optimistic, youthful, spunky, cute. Clothes are about so much more than just the visual!

What I’m wearing:
• Hair in high pigtails (I hope I never feel “too old” to wear pigtails; they’re cute at any age, as far as I’m concerned)
• Big blue and black sunglasses – bought on a whim at the hotel gift shop at last year’s Woodhull
• Revlon Ultra HD matte lip color in “Obsession” again
• Floral dress (new) – H&M (I have this exact dress in 12+ different colorways and will keep buying them as long as H&M keeps making new ones, because they’re super flattering and comfortable and FIFTEEN DOLLARS EACH)
• Pink sparkly Tarina Tarantino heart necklace – vintage on eBay
• Black leather Frye harness boots

While we’re talkin’ fashion… What’s your favorite piece of clothing right now? Also: got any great spring lipsticks to recommend?

Behind the Seams: Fun, Flirty, & Flu-y

Kate Sloan

May 4th, 2018. After a long battle with a bad flu, I was soooo ready to feel pretty again. So I asked my Sir to choose my outfit for a jaunt to the Hart House Theatre to see The Artist & The Pervert, a new documentary about kink educator Mollena Williams and her husband/Master, world-famous composer Georg Friedrich Haas. I wanted to feel kinky and sophisticated, and this outfit totally fit the bill.

I have a long and storied history with this dress. It’s the American Apparel figure skater dress, which I already own in a few different colorways. Years ago, before American Apparel closed, I tried on this dress but ultimately opted not to buy it, because the price tag was a little steep for the broke-ass university student I was at that time. But then I lived in regret, particularly once AA went bankrupt, and tried to buy one on eBay. The seller ghosted me, however, and I had to file for a refund through Paypal. Finally, years later, I found the dress in my size in another eBay shop, and now it is mine. Hallelujah.

What I’m wearing:
• Hair in braids, because Sir said so
• Maybelline Matte Ink liquid lipstick in “Pioneer”
• Black American Apparel figure skater dress – secondhand on eBay
• Silver L’Amour-Propre heart lock engraved with “Daddy’s,” worn on a repurposed chain (Sir has me wear this sometimes as basically a fancier alternative to my collar)
• Black tights
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• (Not pictured) Black leather jacket (this day brought one of the blusteriest windstorms Toronto has seen in a long time!)

May 6th, 2018. Still feverish and flu-y, I nonetheless trekked out into the world to attend my aunt’s birthday party uptown. It was a small, cozy get-together with crackers and cheese and fondue and Sondheim nerdery and good storytelling.

At one point, an older family member asked me if I was wearing Toronto Maple Leafs socks, and I narrowly avoided explaining that no, actually they were from a BDSM-themed coffee shop in Minneapolis. (This side of the family is relatively kink-friendly – there are even openly queer and kinky people among their ranks – but it was still a family event! I still, for example, opted not to wear my collar, even though it would have matched.)

P.S. This skirt is pretty close to perfect, and I’m sure I’ll be wearing it a lot this spring and summer. The fabric is soft and flowy, the cut is flattering and simple, and it even has POCKETS! Shout-out to the rare piece of women’s clothing that is both cute and functional.

What I’m wearing:
• Hair in little pigtail-buns
• Royal blue T-shirt – American Apparel
• Black high-waisted A-line skirt – ASOS
• Blue and white striped knee-high athletic socks – Leather & Latte in Minneapolis (my favorite memory from this place is that someone walked in and asked the barista at the counter, “Is the Mistress in?” – unfortunately she wasn’t, but wow, what a question)
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Coach Mercer satchel in “Cloud”

May 8th, 2018. I often wear this Dildorks shirt on days when I have to edit a podcast episode. It’s super uncool, like wearing a band T-shirt to see that band play – or, indeed, like emblazoning your chest with an illustration of your own face – but whatever, it makes me happy. And I don’t think most people even realize it’s me when they see it.

I wore this out to a favorite local coffee shop to edit the podcast, work on some blog posts, and do some thoughtful navel-gazing in my journal. What else is new, right?

What I’m wearing:
• Dildorks logo baseball-style shirt – Zazzle (art by Amy, who is the best)
• Black and white polka-dotted skater skirt – ASOS
• Striped socks – the Gap
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Revlon Ultra HD matte lip color in “Obsession” (such a pretty, springy pink!)

What recent outfits of yours have made your heart sing?

Behind the Seams: Slutty Seductress + Glamorous Grampa

Kate Sloan

March 24th, 2018. I wore this to a party my friend Suz threw to celebrate the overhaul and relaunch of her blog. The event description said, “Kinky, queer, fetish wear, glitter, and extra outfits are highly encouraged!” so I decided to get real slutty.

I bought this dress at Forever 21 in early 2016 and couldn’t believe such a mainstream store was selling such an overtly fetishistic item. However, then Bex pointed out that I may have been wearing it backwards… and, as it turned out, they were right. The corsetry is supposed to go up the back, instead of being essentially a cleavage window. But fuck that: I do what I want!

The party was a good time: we danced to ’90s pop, drank cocktails, talked about sex research, watched porn being projected on a giant screen, ate cupcakes with penises and vulvas on them, and debated the merits of various sex toys. Suz really knows how to throw a shindig!

What I’m wearing:
• Hair in braided high pigtails (the Baby Spice vibez are TOO good; I need to do this more often)
• Tight black lace-up dress – Forever 21
• Skin-tone pantyhose – probably Shoppers Drugmart (bought to wear to a wedding last year)
• Black leather Frye engineer boots
• Silver “Daddy’s” heart-shaped padlock – a gift from my love, custom-made by L’Amour-Propre, worn on a chain from a silver key necklace I got on Canal Street in 2006

April 15th, 2018. When I put this on, I looked at myself in the mirror and decided I looked like a glamorous grampa. It’s quite an aesthetic!

This is, IMO, the ideal outfit for schlepping through a foot of snow to a local café on a lazy Sunday afternoon, sipping a latte, and reading a trippy award-winning novel for a few hours, which is exactly what I did. I also journaled about the top-10 most memorable sexual experiences of my life thus far, because what else would a sex writer do on her day off?

What I’m wearing:
• Maybelline SuperStay Matte Ink liquid lipstick in “Pioneer” (it stayed on admirably and didn’t even mark the mug I drank from – impressive!)
• White J. Crew men’s T-shirt – a gift from my boyfriend; he wore it under an impeccable navy suit on our second date and, the next morning, told me I could keep it, a gesture I predictably reacted to by clutching it against my nose and bursting into tears
• Berry-pink merino wool V-neck cardigan – the Gap
• Black leggings – the Gap
• Black leather Frye engineer boots
• Coach Mercer satchel in a color called “Cloud” – one of the few fancy treats I bought when I briefly had a sugar daddy last year
• Montale “Aoud Lime” perfume (obsessed – it’s like a little kick of springtime, which, on this absurdly wintry mid-April day, felt necessary)

April 24th, 2018. I wore this to perform in the Bed Post variety show at the Super Wonder Gallery. I’ve been on the bill at Bed Post a couple times before and it’s always a hoot: the host, Erin Pim, is a whip-smart driven fox, and she always picks such funny, talented, magnetic people for her show’s lineup. It was an honor to be invited back!

I played 3 sexy and/or kinky songs of mine: “Compliance,” “Casual,” and “A Nerd Like You.” Then I settled in with a whiskey on the rocks to watch the other acts, including adorable comedian Emily Bilton and burlesque bombshell Zyra Lee Vanity. Such a fun evening!

What I’m wearing:
• A navy blue smoky eye and red lipstick
• Hair in braided pigtails because Sir said so
• Blue L’Amour-Propre collar, also because Sir said so
• “It’s Magic” T-shirt – Pen and Kink
• Navy high-waisted skirt – Old Navy
• Navy tights – Hue
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• (Not pictured) Leather jacket for that rock-star edge

Behind the Seams: Playground Conference Edition

Kate Sloan

February 23rd, 2018. I wore this during the daytime on the first day of the Playground Conference. Later, I would change into a much more salacious dress for the opening plenary, but this one was a good wholesome choice for good wholesome activities, like trekking across town with my suitcase in tow, checking into the hotel, grabbing a quick McDonald’s takeout lunch with Bex, and greeting a bunch of pals I hadn’t seen in ages.

Part of my Playground-specific protocol with my Sir was that he chose which dress I should wear on which day for the duration of the conference. I’d sent him my schedule so he could make informed decisions, and he did so well.

I think this dress is very DD/lg. It’s kind of perfect.

What I’m wearing:
• Hand-me-down Danier leather jacket with a “Pun Slut” pin from L’Amour-Propre (a gift from my love, who understands my heart) and an impact play pin from Kinktionary
• Pink and white heart-print dress – CowCow (their dresses are cheap, slinky, and come in about a billion different prints – would recommend!)
• Pink sparkly Tarina Tarantino heart necklace – vintage on eBay
• Black leggings – H&M
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Pink lipstick – probably Make Up For Ever Aqua Rouge in “Fuchsia” or Sugarpill lipstick in “Girl Crush,” I’m not sure which
• Recently dyed and cut hair by Paul Taylor at Avalon Hair Design, who’s been doing my hair for at least a decade

February 24th, 2018. The first morning of Playground, I texted my partner a bunch while lying in bed drinking coffee from the in-room Keurig machine, and then slipped into this outfit to go see Kevin Patterson‘s opening keynote, which was excellent.

After that, I attended a session about kink negotiations, bought a fancy impact toy at the Weal & Breech table in the vendors room, eagerly soaked up a session on kink psychology, watched (and adored) Bex’s panel on polyamory and masculinity, and then skipped downstairs to record a live Dildorks episode. Then I went out for dinner with three other introverts who were similarly overwhelmed by the Con Life, which was a blessing because we all sat staring at our phones in silence for most of the meal – exactly what I needed after such a busy day. #IntrovertLyfe!

What I’m wearing:
• Pink and yellow dress featuring strawberry vulvas and banana penises (or, as my Sir called it, “Bananacock and Berrycunt”) – the great Joanna Thangiah, whose shop is always my first stop for sexyweird clothes
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre (our conference protocol dictated that I wear my collar every time I presented publicly)
• Holographic pink bow barrette – Forever 21
• Blue sparkly star ring – a now-defunct Etsy shop called CBT’s Closet way back in 2008
• Navy blue Funkit Toys Signet ring – a gift from the inimitable Kenton (this is the ultimate sartorial wink to sex toy nerds with a fondness for fingerbanging)
• Black leggings – H&M
• Black leather Frye harness boots

February 25th, 2018. One more outfit for one more full day of conferencing! First off, I headed to Bex’s informative and hilarious blowjob workshop. Next I attended a brilliant panel about intersectionality and dating, which gave me a lot to think about. Then, me and a bunch of blogger babes grabbed a long, leisurely lunch at Fran’s, complete with boozy milkshakes.

After lunch, I sat in on a session called “Ask a Sadist” and took lots of feverish notes. Then we all attended the closing keynote and said our teary goodbyes. Con life is wild!

What I’m wearing:
• Kaleidoscopic rainbow dress – CowCow (one word of warning about these dresses: the fabric is very, um, nipply, so you’ll probably wanna wear a bra – I usually go braless, but I can’t with these!)
• Pink sparkly Tarina Tarantino heart necklace – vintage on eBay
• Official conference lanyard (oh, the glamour)
• Shiny turquoise hair scrunchie – American Apparel
• Blue sparkly star ring – CBT’s Closet
• Vulva ring, custom-made to look like my actual vulva – Catstache Accessories
• Black leggings – H&M
• Black leather Frye harness boots

Behind the Seams: Laughs, Leather, & Layers

Kate Sloan

February 15th, 2018. I wore this to go see PotterProv, the monthly Harry Potter-themed improv show at Comedy Bar, with my friend Zoë. It wasn’t really a thematically appropriate outfit – I mean, unless you think Remus Lupin is a daddy dom – but I had just gotten this shirt in the mail and wanted to wear it out.

I often like to get a li’l dressed up when I go see comedy, because comedians and improvisors are so frequently total babes. Plus I’ve dated enough of them that at comedy venues, there is always a real risk of running into exes or people with whom I went on one or two ill-fated Tinder dates… yikes.

What I’m wearing:
• Hair in little pigtail-knots (I started doing these after seeing Caitlin Roberts wear her hair like this; it’s so cute and easy, especially on days when my hair isn’t cooperating)
• Pink lipstick and pink blush
• Pink pavé Tarina Tarantino heart necklace – eBay, after searchin’ and sleuthin’ and biddin’ for a looong time to find this exact one
• “Daddy” tank top – Redbubble
• Pink bralette – Gap
• Black and white polka-dotted skater skirt – ASOS years ago
• Black leggings – H&M
• Pastel rainbow glitter Doc Martens (!!) – ordered from Urban Outfitters back when these were seemingly unavailable anywhere else in Canada and I NEEDED THEM

February 28th, 2018. Leather jackets always give me so many Gender Feelings! I’ve had this one for years and years and I love its blazer-esque simplicity: it looks equally good over dresses or more boyish outfits like this one. I can’t wait for the weather to get a little warmer here so I can start rocking this jacket every day instead of my winter coat that looks like a literal sleeping bag.

I wore this out to a café to work, and then I dropped by my parents’ place to pick up some sex toys that had been delivered there for me (including the Liberator Axis, oooh!).

My boyfriend told me to put my collar on just before I left my apartment because I had a bunch of writing to do and he wanted me to stay focused. What a sweetheart.

What I’m wearing:
• Danier leather jacket – hand-me-down from an older cousin many years ago
• “Pun Slut” pin from L’Amour-Propre and impact play pin from Kinktionary
• Royal blue suede collar from L’Amour-Propre
• Bright yellow Goodbye Honolulu T-shirt – a gift from Max
• Black jeans (a rarity – I loathe wearing pants)! – Gap
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Ye olde giant black nerd glasses – Hakim Optical
• Heart-eyes emoji phone case – Redbubble

March 16th, 2018. The first time my love came to visit me in Toronto, he gave me specific clothing instructions: I was supposed to wear an outfit that would be fun for him to take off me, like unwrapping a present. Now that’s a femme challenge that I’m absolutely up to!

I chose this ensemble lovingly in the days leading up to his arrival, and laid it out on a chair in my bedroom the night before. When I woke up that day, I finished up my morning dayjob work and then slipped into this outfit slowly, methodically, very aware as I slid into each layer that my beautiful boyfriend would be removing it from me in reverse order in just a couple hours. And he did, and it was lovely.

What I’m wearing:
• Blue and black heart-print cardigan – H&M many years ago (I’ve had this since at least 2007!)
• Pink lace slip – vintage via Coldfish on Etsy
• Navy high-waisted A-line skirt – Old Navy years ago (I used to wear this a lot when I wanted to look businessy in journalism school)
• Pink and navy kneesocks – no idea, but they’re cute, eh?
• (Unseen) Pink and purple polka-dotted panties which I later gave to my boyfriend as a gift because he did such a good job getting them wet while I wore them – La Senza, I believe

What’s your favorite outfit you’ve worn recently?